Chapter 6
6
I snap out of a nightmare, my heart pounding as I gasp for air.
Where am I? Panic rises as it registers that I’m in a bed. A bed!
No, no, no. Flashes of cruel faces and rough hands assault my mind.
I can’t breathe.
Got to get out, get away.
I scramble out from under the covers, almost falling in my haste. The floor chills my bare feet, but it barely registers. I’ve been cold so long that being warm is what’s foreign.
On my hands and knees, I crawl under the bed, wedging myself as far back into the dark corner as I can, where only a sliver of light filters in. The shadows wrap around me like a protective cloak.
I press my cheek to the cold hardwood, trying to slow my ragged breaths. My pulse pounds in my ears, too loud, like a drum. I curl into a tight ball to make myself as small as possible. If they can’t see me, they can’t hurt me.
Memories claw at the edges of my mind. Pain. Humiliation. Fear. I clamp my hands over my ears.
You’re not there anymore , I remind myself. I got out. I’m safe.
But I don’t feel safe. I feel vulnerable.
The urge to hide, to disappear, overwhelms me. If I stay under here long enough, maybe I’ll finally vanish. Become no one. Nothing. Not even a number.
Please, just make it stop.
The door creaks open, and I freeze, holding my breath. Footsteps approach the bed and pause.
Please go away. Please leave me alone.
“Seven?” Confusion and concern lace Damien’s voice. “Where did you go?”
Damien. That’s right. This is Damien’s suite. Damien will keep me safe.
The Alpha kneels, one hand braced on the floor as he peers beneath the bed. His brow furrows as he takes in my huddled form. I brace myself for anger or annoyance but receive only gentle concern.
“Hey, there,” he murmurs. “Mind if I join you?”
Uncomprehending, I stare at him. Why would he want to come under here? It’s cold, dark, and cramped.
When I don’t respond, he shocks me by maneuvering his tall, muscular body under the bed frame, pushing a pillow ahead of him. He grunts as his shoulder brushes the frame’s underside and stops halfway, with plenty of space still separating us. Once situated, he reaches for the corner of the blanket and pulls it off the bed, dragging it in with us.
“It’s a little tight, but not bad,” he remarks, as if discussing the weather and not the fact we’re both lying on the dusty floor. He props his head on the pillow and drapes the blanket over his legs. “Pretty cozy, actually. I can see why you like it under here.”
I gape at him, struggling to process this turn of events. But Damien appears at ease, watching me with calm patience.
Hesitantly, I uncurl, though I keep my back pressed to the wall. “What…what are you doing?”
He shrugs, the movement constrained by the low clearance. “You looked like you needed some company. And maybe a bit of warmth. The floor is freezing.”
A lump forms in my throat. It’s been a long time since anyone did something like this for me. Shown me such simple, unconditional kindness. I don’t know how to respond.
“You’re safe here, Seven.” Damien extends his hand, palm up in offering. An invitation. “No one will hurt you ever again.”
Tears blur my vision, and I blink to clear them away. I want so badly to believe him. To reach out and take his hand. But I’m terrified. Terrified of being hurt again. Of daring to hope, only to have it shattered.
And yet, Damien ignites the tiniest spark of something deep in my chest that I thought was extinguished long ago. Trust. Maybe even the beginning of faith.
With a shaking hand, I inch my fingers toward his.
Damien waits, not pushing or pressuring. And when my fingertips brush his palm, he doesn’t latch on, just curls his fingers in the gentlest of cages that I can slip free from with ease.
“Do you want the blanket?” He tugs it farther under the bed. “It’s big enough that you don’t have to come closer.”
If I take the blanket, I have to let go of his hand. Heart pounding, I release him to drag the blanket far enough to wrap around my body, too. Damien’s hand remains where I left it, still waiting, and I slip my fingers back across his palm.
Damien rumbles in approval, and soon, his body heat creeps across the space between us, wrapping me in a cozy cocoon. My mouth cracks with a yawn, the tiredness that stole over me earlier when Damien tucked me into bed earlier returning.
Not wanting to sleep yet, I force my mind to work. Damien left me alone for a reason. “Did you find Jade? Is he safe?”
Sadness softens Damien’s features, and I know before he answers what he’ll say. “No. By the time we arrived, the compound was empty.”
“I’m sorry.” Guilt cuts through me, and I pull my hand back, not deserving his kindness. “If I had gotten here faster, or hadn’t passed out?—”
“No one is blaming you,” he cuts in. “It looked like they moved shop as soon as they found you missing. Jade would have been aware of this possibility.”
Confusion fills me. “Then why help me escape?”
“Because Jade is smart. He’ll have left us a message. Our people are combing the place to find it.” Damien wiggles his fingers toward me, his hand still where I left it. “You did exactly what you were meant to do. You got us to the compound.”
With a shuddering breath, I press our palms together again, Damien’s larger hand engulfing mine. His skin is warm, his calluses rough against my own, and the contact sends a shiver through me.
Fear rises like a tide, and I struggle to push it down. “What if they’ve already…”
The possibility is too horrific to say out loud.
“We didn’t find his body, so they took him with them,” Damien says firmly. “We have our best people on this, Seven. We’ll find him and bring him home.”
“Why…” I lick my dry lips, searching for the right words. “Why aren’t you with them? Out searching for Jade?”
Why is he here instead of leading the search?
To my surprise, a gentle smile curves Damien’s mouth. “Because right now, my place is here. You need me, Seven. And I need to know you’re safe and cared for. The team can handle the search. You’re my priority.”
My breath hitches, a tremble rocking through my body at the way Damien looks at me, like I’m something precious, something worth protecting.
It’s overwhelming, confusing, and exhilarating all at once.
“Can I ask you something, Seven?”
The tone of his voice sets off my alarm bells. But he’s given me so much, and I’ve given him nothing. “What?”
“When you first arrived, I saw the scars on your body.” Damien’s thumb traces over my knuckles in a soothing caress. “Will you tell me what happened to you?”
My muscles tense, the memories threatening to drown me. The cold metal of the examination table. The sting of needles. The burning agony as the Doctor injected experimental substances into my veins.
When I start to pull my hand away, Damien tightens his grip to anchor me in place, though it’s still gentle. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. If you do, though, I’m here to listen.”
Part of me wants to bury those horrors forever, while another part yearns to share the burden. To have someone else understand, even a little.
“My first owner,” I whisper, the words like shards of glass in my throat. “He was a scientist. Or at least, he claimed to be. He… He used me as a test subject. For his experiments.”
Damien sucks in a sharp breath, his grip on my hand tightening. “Experiments?”
Numbness sweeps over me, a familiar sensation from my time there when my mind needed somewhere else to go. “He was obsessed with pheromones. By manipulating them to control behavior. He would… inject me with different compounds. Cut me to take samples. Track my responses.”
The memories threaten to overwhelm me. “It was agony. Like acid in my blood. But he didn’t care. He kept pushing, kept increasing the doses, no matter how much I screamed…”
“Seven, I’m so sorry. That’s beyond monstrous.” Horror and anger war on Damien’s face. “He had no right to experiment on you. No one does.”
Shame burns my cheeks. “He said it was because of my scent. That I made the perfect subject because my natural pheromones were so weak, so unappealing to Alphas who buy subjects to breed.”
A bitter laugh escapes me. “Guess I should be grateful, huh? Being weak is the only reason I survived. At least until the experiments went too far, and I became a faulty test subject. Then he tossed me onto the auction block. A couple of Alphas tried to breed me, but I was too defective.”
“No. Seven, listen to me. You are not defective. Nothing is wrong with your scent.” His dark eyes blaze with intensity, holding mine. “In fact, your natural scent is one of the most appealing things about you. It’s uniquely you, warm and earthy, with a hint of spice. Like cinnamon and cloves. I’ve never smelled pheromones like it, but it’s not bad.”
Uncomprehending, I stare at him as my heart jack-rabbits. “You’re lying. You have to be. Every Alpha I met told me I reek. That I smell sour…or rank…”
My nose burns with the threat of tears.
“Then they were fools.” Damien scoots close enough to draw my wrist to his nose, inhaling. “Nothing sour or rank about this scent.”
Damien’s words echo in my mind. I want to believe him, to latch onto his kindness and sincerity. But the last year of being beaten and broken, of being told I’m worthless day after day, whispers that he’s wrong.
“I…” I falter, unsure how to put the tangled mess of my thoughts into words. “I want to believe you. I do. But…”
Damien nuzzles my hand. “I will never lie to you, Seven. Not ever. I swear it, on my life.”
Tears blur my vision, that fragile spark of hope fanning brighter.
“It’s hard to believe in people again after everything you’ve been through,” he murmurs soothingly. “Trust won’t come easy. Just know I will never, ever hurt you.”
My chest aches with how much I want to believe him. But the scars on my skin, the memories that plague my nightmares, make it hard to have faith in anyone.
Even someone as kind and patient as Damien.
As if sensing my inner turmoil, Damien’s pheromones push outward, wrapping me up in a comforting scent. “We’ll take it one day at a time. I’ll prove that you can trust me, that you’re safe with me. No matter how long it takes.”
I squeeze my eyes shut tight, but it can’t stop the tears from leaking out, trailing across the bridge of my nose and down my temple to form a damp spot on the floor beneath my cheek. I don’t know how to handle this kind of gentle understanding, this unconditional acceptance. It’s terrifying, but also the most beautiful thing I’ve ever experienced.
Slowly, I open my eyes. “Okay.”
Damien’s face softens as he settles back on his pillow. There’s enough room on it for me if I dare to crawl closer, but I’m not brave enough.
Not yet.