Chapter 7
7
I wake with a start, pressed against solid warmth.
My heartbeat quickens as I realize a body lies next to me. Damien’s body. Panic surges through me, confusion clouding my thoughts. I’m not supposed to be this close.
Alphas touch first, not Omegas. Never Omegas. The rules were beaten into me by my second Alpha, who in the end couldn’t stand to be near me.
Instinct takes over, and I jerk away, desperate to put distance between us. Pain explodes in the back of my skull as my head cracks against the underside of the bed frame, and a whimper escapes my lips. It hurts, a throbbing ache radiating through my head.
I curl in on myself, caught between the instinct to flee and the need to protect my body from further harm. My breath comes in quick gasps. I shouldn’t have moved. Shouldn’t have touched him.
Stupid. Stupid.
Damien’s sleep-laden voice reaches my ears. “Seven?”
I flinch, bracing for anger or punishment that never comes.
Damien shifts beside me, and his attention settles on my hunched form. “Are you okay? What happened?”
The gentle words hold no trace of the harshness I expect from an Alpha, and shame courses through me. How must this seem to him when I just promised to trust him?
“I-I’m sorry.” My voice trembles. “I didn’t mean to…”
What should I apologize for? Touching him? Or for fearing punishment for the touching? I keep my body turned away, face hidden. I don’t want to see the disappointment that I know is in his eyes. I let him down and broke my agreement to trust.
Damien’s hand enters my field of vision, palm up, fingers relaxed. An offering, not a demand. “It’s okay, I’m not upset. Do you think we can move out from under the bed, though? You hit your head pretty hard, and I’d like to make sure you didn’t hurt yourself.”
I hesitate, torn between the fear of disappointing him again and the unexpected comfort of his presence. Damien waits, patient like always. Giving me a choice.
Tentatively, I uncurl my body and inch forward. Damien moves back, sliding out first to leave room for me to emerge from our hiding spot. The dim light from the lamp on the nightstand blinds me, so I focus on the hardwood floor.
As I sit up, a wave of dizziness washes over me, and I sway, spots dancing in my vision. Damien’s hands reach out, steadying me with a gentle touch on my shoulders. Instinctively, I tense, but he merely supports me, his hold light and undemanding.
“Easy,” he murmurs. “No need to rush.”
Damien’s proximity, his scent, overwhelm me. His pheromones give off a mixture of warmth and strength, with that underlying spice that draws me in. I breathe deeply, finding strength in its familiarity.
Damien’s fingers brush the back of my head, and I flinch, expecting pain. But his touch stays feather-light, examining the tender spot. I bow my head, an automatic gesture of submission ingrained from conditioning.
“No bump, that’s good.” Relief fills the words. “You’re being very brave, Seven. Thank you for trusting me.”
The praise catches me off guard, unfamiliar after so long without kindness. It warms me, making me want to be braver. Heart pounding, I lean into his hand just as it falls away from my head, and disappointment crashes down.
He takes a step back, giving me space I don’t want. “Let’s get you cleaned up. I fear I’ll need to talk to the maids about doing better at wrangling the dust bunnies under my bed.”
He leads the way to the bathroom, his movements slow and deliberate, allowing me to follow at my pace. I trail behind him, the warmth of his hand still lingering on my head.
“How about a bath this morning?” He moves to the deep soaking tub, turning on the tap to fill it and testing the temperature with his hand.
The sound of running water fills the room as I hover in the doorway, shifting from foot to foot, unsure of what to do with myself.
Damien glances over his shoulder, sees me hovering, and straightens.
“Let me give you some privacy.” He moves toward the door, and I skitter to move out of his way. “Take your time and call if you need anything. Breakfast will be here when you’re done.”
He passes by me, his scent enveloping me once more. I turn to follow it, nose twitching, before the door clicks shut behind him, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
I turn toward the steaming bathtub, the hot water and soap tempting me. He forgot to give me clothes again, though, so I stay put, waiting. A minute later, my patience is rewarded when the bathroom door pops back open a moment later.
“Sorry, I’m not used to this yet.” Damien keeps his eyes on the floor and holds out a fresh set of clothing. “Forgot your clothes.”
“Thank you.” I walk over to take it and bow my head, leaning forward hopefully.
After a moment, Damien’s hand settles on top of my head, gentle around my bump. “The pain medication is in the medicine cabinet if you need it.”
I nod, his hand petting me with the motion.
His voice roughens. “And try not to submerge your arm. The bandage is water resistant, but not waterproof.”
I nod again just to earn more pets and inch closer.
A rumble rises from his chest as his hand slips to the back of my neck, tracing the notches of my spine. “Do you like French toast? Or do you think it will be too much for your stomach?”
My stomach growls at the mention of food, and I duck my head with embarrassment.
“Okay, French toast it is.” His hand slides around my neck to skate along my collarbone, sending my pulse racing.
He bends, his nose brushing the shell of my ear, and I freeze, caught between the instinct to pull away and the desire to lean into his touch. Damien’s breath warms my skin, sending a shiver through me, and that rumble from his chest vibrates all the way down to my toes.
I sway, trying to steady my racing heart. It’s a struggle, this constant push and pull between fear and longing. The Alphas in my past hover like specters around me, a permanent reminder of pain and humiliation. But Damien’s presence, his touch, and the way he speaks push them away long enough for me to breathe.
His pheromones envelop me, and my head spins as I breathe them in, letting them fill my lungs and settle deep in my bones. The scent whispers home , whispers safety , whispers that I can have everything I’ve ever wanted but never dared to hope for.
“Seven,” Damien breathes, his lips brushing my ear. “You’re being so brave. I’m very proud of you.”
Emboldened by the praise, I relax against his muscular chest, a sense of calm sweeping through me, unlike anything I’ve felt before.
He cups the back of my neck but doesn’t otherwise try to restrain me, and I let out a shaky sigh as the last of my tension eases away.
“The next time you want to snuggle up with me, you have my permission.” His thumb massages behind my ear. “You always have my permission to touch me, anywhere at any time, even around my family. Understand?”
Startled, I straighten. “What?”
“I liked your warmth sleeping right next to me. If you did, too, then you have permission to do it again at any time if you’re comfortable.” His fingers trace up the line of my neck and ghost along my jaw before dropping away. “Now, shut off the water before the tub overflows.”
Alarmed, I spin toward the bathtub, and in my distraction, Damien slips back out the door.
My shoulders slump, though what did I hope would happen? Did I want him to stay? No. He may have seen my scars, but I’m not ready to be naked in front of him.
But I liked his hands on me, and based on his Alpha rumble, he enjoyed touching me. That’s basic high school biology, which I completed before my life ended.
The thought twists inside my mind like a snake, snapping and biting at the pieces of me I locked away in order to survive.
Setting the clothes on the counter, I strip, avoiding the mirror.
I don’t need a reminder of why an Alpha like Damien shouldn’t be attracted to an Omega like me.
When I emerge from the bathroom a bit later, warm steam clings to my skin.
The aroma of breakfast fills the air, and my stomach growls in response. I follow my nose to the front room.
Damien stands by the table, his arms outstretched toward the spread of dishes before him. “French toast, as promised. And some oatmeal, too, in case the toast is too rich for your stomach.”
I pause as I eye the chairs, rubbing one sock-covered foot on top of the other.
Damien sees my hesitation. “What’s wrong? Aren’t you hungry?”
I lick my lips and taste the balm I found in one of the vanity drawers. “Which… which chair will you sit in?”
“Hmm.” He studies the options before settling into the one nearest the office. “Is this one okay?”
“Yes.” I walk to the empty chair next to his and grip the back of the chair to scoot it closer to Damien’s. I stop short of pushing it right up to his, despite the overwhelming desire to close those last inches, to burrow against his warmth.
Damien studies the gap. “Would you mind if I scoot us a little closer?”
My heart skips a beat at his words, and I gesture for him to go ahead.
Damien’s lips curve upward as he wedges the two chairs flush together.
A flurry of emotions swirls within me, Damien’s proximity both thrilling and scary. The conflicting emotions battle for dominance. I want to be close to him, to bask in the comfort and security he offers, but part of me still fears allowing myself to believe this is real.
Pulse quickening, I crawl onto the chair, tucking my legs under me. The warmth of Damien’s body radiates through the small space between us, his scent enveloping me. My hands fidget in my lap, my fingers itching to entwine with Damien’s, but that would make eating awkward.
Damien’s arm shifts to the back of my chair, leaving his side open and inviting in case I want to come closer. And I really, really do.
Head bowing, I inch across my seat, into the curve of where arm and body meet, and draw my legs forward, still not touching. Breath held, I ease against his side, my knees coming to rest halfway on his lap. Heat rushes to my face at being this bold toward such a powerful Alpha.
Damien draws in a shaky breath. “Is it okay if I put my arm around you?”
Air catches in my throat. The thought of being held, of being restrained, sends a jolt of fear through my veins, but I yearn for the comfort, for the warmth and security of Damien’s touch.
I nod, a small, jerky movement, and Damien’s arm comes down, encircling me. Instead of imprisoning me, it’s like a weighted blanket, and my body uncoils as I relax. My head rests on Damien’s chest, and I inhale his scent, which thickens by the second.
A tingling warmth spreads through my body, my skin flushing with heat. With a choked gasp, I bury my face against his side, breathing in his pheromones to soothe my nerves, but I only grow hotter.
All at once, the pheromones vanish, and a whine of protest escapes my lips.
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs into my hair. “I shouldn’t have lost control like that.”
Unsure of what he means, I stare up at him.
His hand cups the back of my head. “You don’t even realize how tempting you are, do you?”
I shake my head in protest. “I don’t tempt Alphas.”
“That’s just not true. At least, not for me.” Shifting, he pulls one of the cloth napkins into his lap. “I won’t do anything you don’t want, though, okay? You’re safe with me.”
Considering how many times he’s said it, he really wants me to believe it. I consider the hard bulge in the front of his pants that the rectangle of white linen can’t hide. But he does nothing about his arousal beyond trying to spare me from seeing it.
If I say nothing, we can both ignore that, for whatever reason, Damien desires me.
He clears his throat. “Now, how should we tackle this French toast? Should I feed you? Because I don’t want to let you go, and this position doesn’t exactly?—”
He cuts off on a choke as I slide onto his lap, straddling his waist. “Seven?”
Just as surprised by my action, I tremble in place. “Y-you said I could touch you, whenever, wherever.”
“Yes, I did.” Damian’s arm comes to rest around my hips, loose enough that I can return to my chair if I change my mind. “It’s going to be harder to eat this way, though. Unless you have something else in mind?”
My change of position dislodged the napkin, and his hard cock strains against his zipper, thickening the more I stare. “Should I turn around?”
“Only if you want to,” he chokes out. “But if you wiggle your tiny ass on top of me right now, I’m going to need to change my pants.”
I peek up at him through my lashes. “Because you’ll come?”
“Yes, Seven,” he grits out, still not doing anything. “Because I will come in my pants.”
I catch my bottom lip between my teeth in consideration. “Will it upset you?”
“Only if it upsets you.” His eyes drop to my lips. “I enjoy orgasms.”
His gaze skims lower, to where my legs straddle his thighs. “Do you enjoy orgasms, Seven?”
Shame floods my cheeks, and I lower my head. “I don’t know. I haven’t…since the Doctor… I think he broke me.”
“Hey, it’s okay.” He reaches up to cup my cheek, and I turn my face into his palm. “Would you like to try? With me?”
My breath hitches. “Can I keep my clothes on?”
“Whatever you want.”
My body heats. “Then yes.”
His fingers slip into my hair. “Can I kiss you?”
A needy sound slips past my lips, my pulse racing. This is one of the few things never taken from me, and I want this Alpha to have it.
Head turning, I raise my mouth to his.