Chapter 32
Walking into the O’Connel mansion dredges up memories of the past. When Lio’s dad ran the Family, we would occasionally have meetings here.
Although it was always the Christmas party that Allesandro’s aunt hosted that we saw as our true safety zone for meetups.
Once Brendan took over…that’s when things began to unravel.
I’m glad to see the mansion restored to its former glory, after Eamon destroyed it.
Lio is nothing like his half brothers, and that’s a good thing.
Especially right now, when the life of my best friend is in his hands.
“Follow me.” The butler waves me forward. Straightening to my full height, I follow with a confidence that I don’t truly feel.
I’m surprised to be led into the medical wing, but upon seeing Carter, it makes sense.
My eyes briefly note each man who is here.
Keegan is standing next to Carter’s bed, looking like a fierce avenging angel.
Roman is seated on the other side of Carter, father and son so alike in their expressions.
Both men were clearly meant to be Bosses with the cool severity they radiate.
And then there’s Lio, sitting next to his friend…
My heart clenches with the knowledge that my words are going to hurt him, but I breathe easier seeing Tennant right behind him, his hand resting on the O’Connel Boss’s shoulder.
I’m not surprised to see Hollis, especially with his tablet.
However, the room is so small, he’s sitting next to Keegan, rather than in his own personal corner, like I know he prefers.
Swallowing, I settle into a parade rest, and drop my gaze in submission.
“Speak,” Carter says roughly. “We’ll hear you.”
Taking a deep breath, I pray for a miracle before I lift my gaze to these men who hold so much power in their hands. All I can do is lay my heart out there and hope they find mercy. But first, I need to address a more personal topic.
“Thank you to the Council for recognizing me. Before I get on to the main topic, I would like to offer a heartfelt apology. Actually—more than one.” It’s as if everyone freezes, but none of them stop me, so I push forward.
“First, Hollis. Please accept my apology for the insult when you were there for Lio when he needed you. Your level of care and commitment to making sure the Families are safe is impressive. I never should have doubted you, and I’m thankful that you’re such a vital part of the network everyone has worked hard to create. ”
Hollis stares at me, seemingly in shock, but I merely shrug a shoulder before turning toward Roman.
This one, admittedly, is harder, but it’s owed.
“Roman. You have my apologies for doubting you and your Family. I’d also like you to convey to Jude how much I sincerely regret the cruelty I showed to him.
He’s an excellent Second, and I belittled that. ”
Roman blinks at me and I hold my breath. With a slow nod, Roman responds. “I will let Jude know. I’m glad you realize the harm you’ve done.”
I hold back a wince as I turn toward the boy—no, the man—who deserves more than an apology, and even though words aren’t enough, they are all I can offer.
“Lio… There is nothing I can say in your case. There’s no level of apology that will ever make up for what I’ve done.
The way I treated you, the harm I caused you and Allesandro…
fuck, the entire Family. I won’t ask you to accept an apology from me.
Instead, I want to acknowledge the hatred that led me to it, and how much wrongdoing I’ve caused.
I regret it to no end, and I do truly apologize, but there are no words to make up for what I’ve done.
“Please also convey to Benjamin that I recognize how very wrong I was to treat him the way I did. All of these actions were mine and mine alone. It may be easier to think of it based on how my life was going, and for the longest time, I tried to take comfort in that. However, that was a lie I wrapped myself in. So I stand in front of you, acknowledging my failures and regrets. I don’t ask that you find forgiveness, but thank you for letting me speak the truth. ”
I stop, unable to say anything else. I hate that they may think the sentiments I offer are not true in comparison to the favor I’m asking, but at least, I had the chance to offer whatever amends I can.
And thank fuck I have love waiting for me at home, that can help put back together the pieces of my heart.
“Thank you,” Lio says calmly. It doesn’t escape my notice that Tennant’s fingers tense on Lio, and I breathe easier knowing he has someone who is there for him.
Swallowing, I face the reason I’ve been granted an audience, and hope I can find a way to show them what’s inside, even though I feel words are useless in this case.
After all, how do you distill the memories and pain into something that can be easily understood based on snippets? Still, I know I need to try.
“I know you have a tough job ahead of you, deciding what to do with the former Bosses. I cannot speak for Cristian, but I would like to offer some insight on Allesandro. From the past, and where he’s at currently.
All I ask is that you hear me out, as his story isn’t easy, but I believe you need to hear it. ”
“We will,” Lio says softly, and the words land in my heart, giving me courage to continue.
Tipping my head back, I struggle against tears before I gain enough composure to go on. Clearing my throat, I let the submissiveness drop away and roll my shoulders back, facing what feels like a firing squad.
“I’d like to begin with some background.
Allesandro has asked—begged—to no longer be called Il Padrone.
There is a reason for that. I still remember being kids together, when he was Sandro to me.
” I smile lopsidedly, bittersweet memories filling me.
“His heart…it was so big. I think that’s partially why his father targeted him so much.
Although fuck if I’ll ever truly know that fucker’s motivation.
“My Sandro disappeared, inch by inch. His father’s cruelty knew no bounds.
He offered his son up to a rapist. Then he twisted him further—pushing him to encase his heart in ice.
To ruin a friendship, although that never fully worked.
He taught my friend to be hard, to destroy everything in his path, and that the only way forward was to break those around him.
To mold them the same way he was molded.
The bruises on his skin, the blood spilled, were nothing compared to the marks his father left on Allesandro’s heart and soul. It stained him.”
Tennant scoffs, breaking my desperate explanation of my friend. He sneers at me, disgust coloring his every word as he retorts, “So he had a shitty childhood. None of that gives him any excuse for what he did. Most of us went through hell, yet we didn’t burn everything to ashes.”
I bite back words that would point out the pain they’ve dished out in this life, because it’s not a comparison.
“You’re right. None of this excuses his sins.
But, he is more than those, and I say that as a man who stood by him for years.
You may see us Boys as broken—and to a certain extent, I can agree.
However, I beg you to look at our strength as well.
“Allesandro…for all of his wrongdoings, also cared for us Boys. I can say that with confidence because many of us wouldn’t still be here without him.
I have had the opportunity to see how his cousin runs his organization.
I’ve also learned from watching the Families we’ve interacted with.
Many of us would have been killed under their rules—and that does include the O’Connels, the Amatos, and the De Lucas.
“Marcus… Allesandro saved him, despite his first offense of breaking into the Family and stealing.
Still, Allesandro saw his worth, and despite being close to death, he made sure to get him medical care, and destroyed those who tried to kill him.
By all rights, he should have been sentenced to death for that betrayal later on.
Instead, he was forgiven, allowed to keep Keegan, and then given a son for them to love.
“Ignacio was half-dead when he was rescued. And me? We all know I should have been put to death. I tried to kill Allesandro’s soulmate, I sexually assaulted Benjamin, and I betrayed my friend even more by trying to steal what wasn’t mine.
Instead of claiming my life, he helped me find my path back, and then gave me the greatest opportunity ever—to find my place in life.
“Yes, he was a harsh Master, the broken parts of him demanded it. But once we were punished, it wiped the slate clean. How many others were ever given that chance in other Families? Where someone’s transgressions were completely forgiven? I can’t think of any place.”
Lio sniffles and I swallow hard. I hate to continue on, to push further, but I have to. I need to show them what’s there in my friend. Lio croaks out, “Continue.”
Bowing my head in a silent thanks, I move forward.
“Allesandro is not well. He’s been on suicide watch and, quite frankly, I’m not sure what to do with him.
He paid for what he did—I did not take it easy on him.
Honestly, I thought I was the one who tore him to shreds.
However, after speaking to Dr. Ranlen—who I believe sent a report to Hollis—I’ve learned that while I opened the gates, it was his own actions that crushed him.
“I call Lio his soulmate for a reason. He did not ask for marriage simply because he wanted to unite two Families. No, he did it because he loves Lio. It’s his past that kept him from saying it. Yet, we all saw the difference in Allesandro as he grew and learned how to find forgiveness and love.”
Lio jumps to his feet, shaking as he glares at me. Tennant reaches out, but Lio ducks away. “How? How can you say that? If he loved me, he wouldn’t have hurt me—or our family—the way he did.”
I drop my head for a moment, shuddering.
I pull myself together and force myself to truly look at Lio.
“Because after the kidnapping, he unraveled. His whole life, he was taught control. Then he comes home and finds the Families merging, relationships changing, and the man he loves falling for someone else. He was scared, and didn’t know how to handle it.
So he fucked everything up, because he didn’t know what else to do.
I’m not saying you need to forgive him, I’m not sure if he even deserves that.
It’s a question you have to answer, not me.
“But I know that is why he’s destroyed. He asked Dr. Ranlen a question that quite frankly will haunt me—the same way it does her.
He stepped in and put down her abusive ex for a reason.
When it comes to you, Lio, that’s how he ruined himself.
It was unforgivable to him, and he does not feel he has any right to live.
Maybe he’s right, but that is a decision for the Council.
“In the end, this is all I have. I come to you as a man who was broken, who should have been killed, but was given a second chance to find myself, thanks to the man I know as my best friend. He trusted me when others would have thrown me away. You may look at him and see those crimson sins, but I see the heart of the man who lived a life of cruelty and never truly gave in. He wouldn’t give up on any of us Boys, so can we really walk away from him? ”
I lapse into silence, my body exhausted, my mind fucking melted from the truths I laid bare, and my soul sick from it all. With a bow, I back up, ready to get the fuck out. Lio surprises me though as he rushes forward and throws his arms around me. I tense, unsure what to think, but I hug him back.
“Thank you for telling us,” Lio whispers as he pulls back, wiping the tears that have fallen. “I don’t know what our answer will be, but thank you for giving me back the memories of my Master.”
I wince and very carefully say, “He refuses to be Il Padrone from now on. Please know that.”
“Understood. We’ve both changed. I have people who love me, who I love. I’d never give up my Daddy or Owner. I’m not sure if he could accept that, if we do choose to let him live.”
I reach out and run my fingers through his hair, drawing comfort in the fact that maybe—just maybe—someone else sees my friend for who he is. “And I can promise you, he wouldn’t ask for that. Not now, not ever.”
With a nod, Lio steps back, drawing on being a Boss as he stands tall in front of me.
And damn does he deserve it. Despite the tension in his body, he calmly says, “I wish you safe travels. I don’t have an answer right now—we make those decisions together as a Council.
But we will take your opinion into account.
And…thank you for the apologies. I may not be sure what to think of you now, but I do appreciate it and wish you well. I’m glad you found your place in life.”
“And I am glad you found yours. You’re making something special here. If you ever need me, call. I’ll always be willing to listen.”
I turn around and walk away, the guilt falling off my shoulders, as I know I’ve done all I can.
It’s in the Council’s hands, and…if they let him live, it’s in Allesandro’s.
I can only pray they let him live, and that he finds strength…
somewhere. He’s so much more than what they’ve seen.
But the question is—am I the only one who can see it? Fuck. I hope not.
My skin itches with the need to see my lovers, to be wrapped in their arms. For now, the ink is dry on my story with the Martellis.
It’s time to change the page and once again walk into the new world I’ve been given.
It hasn’t been an easy transition, but nothing worthwhile is.
I can only hope that my future is far better than my life has been so far.
And I will always be thankful to Sandro for giving me that chance.