Chapter Thirteen
The water from his shower beat down on Diesel’s already pounding skull.
A case of beer had led to liquor at Sandy’s place before he had weaved his way home around four in the morning.
Unfortunately, the mixing of alcohols had Diesel seeing two toilets and missing them both when the puking began.
After passing out on the bathroom floor, Diesel had awoken with a huge mess to clean.
Despite his current hungover state, it felt good to be clean.
Brushed teeth and scrubbed body. In no way did he resemble being human, but he wasn’t dead, so there was that.
Even though he had barely made it out alive, Diesel had actually had a pretty good time.
The moment his inhibitions had dropped, Diesel had opened up about the entire scenario and his confusion.
Until he had said the words aloud, he didn’t realize how much hurt and anger was because of a lack of clarity.
He got Kuba’s obsession with being the best now.
Diesel totally understood Kuba not wanting the entirety of his life public, but he couldn’t figure out why Jayme had reacted so badly, and that bugged him.
That detail had him veering into the cheating theory again.
Not just Jayme, but maybe Kuba had been hiding him because people knowing about him might interfere with his bed-hopping.
He had said he’d fucked countless people.
There were too many unanswered questions.
They were just over and there was no closure.
After Kuba’s reaction to getting caught, Diesel had thought they were done.
Then Kuba kept refusing to sleep apart, and there had been a small part of him that thought maybe Kuba was just in shock, and he had misread the entire situation.
He thought maybe Kuba just needed time to process, and that was it.
They weren’t actually over. But then Kuba had screamed at him in Dread’s green room, and Diesel had saved himself.
Well, he had done what he could to salvage his pride.
Now there was this empty hole in the center of his chest, and he just had to accept it.
Life lesson learned, even if Diesel hadn’t decided what that lesson was yet.
He couldn’t even decide who had actually broken up with whom.
Halfway back to human, Diesel wandered from his bedroom.
The house was silent. He had no idea if his mom was home.
Diesel found her in the living room scrolling on her phone.
She looked up as he came into the room. “Hey, baby. You look like you had a tough night. I’m guessing there was a hell of an after-party after Kuba’s win. You’re looking a little rough.”
He didn’t have the energy to confide anything. Something important hit his brain anyhow, veering him off topic. He was a bad son. “Happy birthday. I don’t have your gift yet. We can go together to pick something out, if you’d like.”
Nova beamed. “Thank you. You didn’t need to get me anything. You’re here. That’s enough for me.”
Diesel would buy her a gift. They both knew it. He sat on the couch. Diesel automatically grabbed a throw pillow and hugged it to his chest. He had no idea why. Everything inside him felt wrong, and he didn’t know how to find comfort.
“Are you doing anything with Tory today?” He kept the question as nonchalant as possible.
The way his mom's smile transformed was heartwarming. At least he knew Tory made her happy. “We went to dinner last night. I wanted to be free for you. But look.” She leaned forward and showed Diesel her wrist. “Look what she got me.”
A gorgeous gold bracelet hung from her wrist. It was dainty but looked amazing on her, as if Tory knew exactly what his mom would like. “Beautiful. Just like you.”
Nova rolled her eyes, but her smile didn’t budge. “Do you have plans with Kuba?”
Diesel panicked a little inside. He knew he should tell the truth, but it was her birthday and he didn’t want to ruin it. The doorbell rang, buying him time.
Nova’s brow furrowed, but she headed for the entryway. She checked the peephole before pulling the door open. A humongous flower arrangement hid the delivery guy, and several balloons whipped in the wind. The poor guy holding everything tried to speak around his haul. “I have a delivery for Nova.”
“That’s me.” His mom practically bounced with excitement.
Diesel jumped up to help her when the balloons didn’t want to come into the house. There were at least eight. He fought the good fight while his mom closed the door quickly once they had them trapped.
“I wonder who sent all this.” Nova sounded exactly like she knew Diesel had done it. He hadn’t.
“Open the card.” Diesel found a place for the gift while Nova opened the card. It wasn’t one of the tiny ones they stuck in arrangements. She held a full-size, thick envelope.
Nova pulled out the contents. Her eyes moved from side to side as she read the card before moving to the contents. Her bright smile warmed Diesel’s heart. Tory obviously treated her amazing, and it showed. That was the only person he could think would have done this.
“Awwww. You and Kuba shouldn’t have done so much.”
Everything inside Diesel froze. He couldn’t even function enough to find out what he had supposedly done.
She held the card against her chest. “Tory will fucking die when I tell her we’re going on a cruise. It was so sweet of you to include her like that. I’ve always wanted to go on one, but a fourteen-day cruise to Greece and Spain? Oh my god. That’s too amazing.”
Diesel prayed his smile didn’t look as brittle as it felt.
“You’re a great mom. You deserve it.” Holy fucking shit.
Why had Kuba done such a thing? He couldn’t bitch because the gift was amazing, but why?
They were over. The minute Nova learned what happened, she would refuse the trip.
It was in her hands now. The trip was paid for and made her ecstatic.
What kind of bastard son would immediately ruin that for her?
Nova hugged him. “Seriously, you shouldn’t have spent so much money, but I absolutely love it. If you’re cool with it, I think I’ll call Tory and tell her to pack her bags. We’re going on the ultimate girls’ trip.”
Of all the horrible timing, something broke inside Diesel. He couldn’t do this anymore. “It hurts to be kept a secret.”
Nova focused on him. She was completely unreadable, but the smile was gone.
He wished like hell he could have the words back, but it was too late. Diesel doubled down. “It hurts, Mom. Tory deserves better from you.”
Nova moved back to her chair and sat. She looked more defeated than nervous.
Diesel went back to the couch. He gave her his full attention and waited her out.
She took a deep breath and met his stare. “Tory isn’t a secret. Not really.”
“Then why do you pretend like she’s only a friend?”
“Because I’m scared.” The words poured from Nova, sounding pained and desperate.
“I did all of this alone.” She motioned around the room, including him in the sweep of her arm.
“There was no backup plan. It was me and sheer determination to do the best I could by you. That’s all that stood between us and homelessness your entire life.
Everything here I built. Maybe I just need therapy, but I can’t give anyone the same power over me that I gave your dad. ”
“Sperm donor.”
Nova cringed at the correction. “I really hate that term.”
“It fits.”
She huffed and immediately deflated. “You’re not wrong.
I don’t know. Every time I think about introducing her to you, I panic.
Not once have I brought anyone into your life.
I know you’re grown, but I—” Nova took a shaky-sounding breath and tried again.
“But I hate the idea of you meeting her only for her to ditch me down the road. You’d see me fail again, and my pride just can’t take it.
I know it’s dumb. You should never let pride stop you from grabbing life by both hands. I’m just scared.”
“I could never see you as a failure.” Even Diesel heard the love and pride in his voice.
“You’re the best mom on the planet, and nothing that happens with anyone else can take that from you.
It’s completely valid to worry about things going south and it compromising the things you’ve worked so hard to get.
But there are ways around that, and if Tory loves you and knows you at all, she won’t care that you feel the need to protect yourself. ”
A weak smile passed over her lips. “It’s terrifying to look at the life I built and purposely turn it on its head.
You’ve always been brave enough to let the world see you for who you are.
Not everyone has that. Look at Kuba and the way the media is eating him alive.
They got one tiny tidbit that didn’t fit their image of a champion, so they went straight to picking apart his life.
All his hard work doesn’t matter to them anymore.
How is he handling all that, by the way?
I’m scared and I’m no one. He literally has the eyes of the entire world on him.
” She shook her head. “That’s a lot for a twenty-one-year-old to handle alone.
I’m glad he has you. I’m sure that makes all the difference. ”
His throat hurt from swallowing all the words and pain. “He has his dad.”
Nova snorted. “The one who’s never around? I don’t know. If it were me, I know I’d want Tory right there, holding my hand and making it all worthwhile.”
“It sounds like Tory loves you.” Kuba didn’t love him.
That was the difference he needed to remember.
His mom’s experience wasn’t his, and Kuba had made it abundantly clear he didn’t need Diesel.
Diesel wouldn’t try to change his mind. He had been humiliated enough. Kuba would be fine. His phone buzzed.
Timber: Well, I fucked the cop.