Chapter Thirteen #2
At the sudden confession, Diesel roared with laughter after reading the text. He swore he could hear Timber’s defeated tone. Diesel swiped his eyes as tears of laughter filled them. Kuba hadn’t stolen his life. Diesel would make sure he never did.
Everything sounded too loud. Kuba couldn’t stop swiping his hands down his thighs, trying to wipe away the sweat.
He wasn’t one to get nervous, but everything about this situation felt weird as fuck.
The coffeehouse was small and nearly dead.
He had specifically chosen this spot because he had been there more times than he could count and no one ever recognized him.
Dread came through the door and looked around until he spotted Kuba.
He looked like shit after their fight. The bruises were way worse today.
He dipped his chin when he spotted Kuba and then headed his way.
Dread took the seat across from him. They stared at each other.
Neither of them spoke. This was the man his mom had mourned herself to death over, and Kuba still didn’t know how he felt.
“Krystof is still my dad. He’s the one who showed up for me every day.”
“I hear you. You look just like her. Thank God,” Dread added with a laugh.
Kuba didn’t join in. His feelings were too big. Knowing the truth didn’t change certain aspects. The ending of Anastasia’s story was the same. “Why did you believe my grandfather?”
Guilt passed over Dread’s features. “A lot of reasons, unfortunately. They all come down to jealousy. She was always with Krystof. He made her smile too much for my liking. Plus, he was rich and could give her a life I couldn’t.
Her parents adored him. He was the proper pedigree.
I had never felt comfortable with their friendship.
Like I said, lots of reasons. I hate myself every day for every single one.
” A sad smile passed over his lips. “Time is an unforgiving thing. It gives you the distance needed to see things from every angle. Every mistake I made comes down to pride. I was too stubborn to swallow mine. Then Krystof found me and told me the truth, and it was too late. You already looked at me with a level of hatred I’ve never seen, and I realized something that shattered me.
Not only had I lost a life I’d kill to have, but she died feeling about me the way you look at me. ”
Kuba couldn’t tell him it wasn’t true. “She thought that not only had you abandoned us but that you’d also moved here to rub your success in her face. Since I’m aware that’s probably true, I’m having a hard time sitting here now. She was amazing, and you destroyed her in all the cruelest of ways.”
Dread’s throat moved as if he swallowed past a lump. “I know, and I have to live with that.”
“Me too.”
Dread dropped his gaze to the table. A sad smile passed over his face. “Well, thank you for finally sitting down with me. That’s all I wanted. I know it’s more than I deserve.”
Kuba just couldn’t stop. “Sending your goons to try to run me over while I’m out jogging and to destroy my car is a batshit way to ask me to sit down with you.”
Dread’s chin shot up. “They tried to run you over? When?”
There was too much instant rage in Dread’s tone to be fake.
Still, Kuba’s gaze moved over his face, searching for the lie.
“A week or so before Christmas. Why in the fuck did you think Dad hired Diesel?” A pain stabbed him through the chest. Just saying Diesel’s name nearly broke him.
He had lost everything. Kuba couldn’t breathe.
“I assumed you were only telling people he was your bodyguard to keep the public from questioning his constant presence. I’ll kill those motherfuckers.
They’re annoying, but they’re super fans.
You know how that goes. You don’t want the crazy ones to flip on you, but hell no.
I had no idea they had tried to hurt you.
The car thing was bad enough. I blocked their access to me after that one.
You should’ve called. I’d never let anyone hurt you. ”
Dread was going the fuck off, turning redder by the second.
Meanwhile, Kuba was having a full-on panic attack that may or may not have been an actual heart attack.
There wasn’t a single molecule of oxygen in the air.
A horrible noise assaulted his ears. Until Dread was on his feet, Kuba didn’t realize the sound was him trying to breathe.
“Whoa, Kuba. Take a breath. Don’t you dare take away the only thing I have left.
You might not see me as your dad, but I sure as fuck see you as my son.
You can’t break me like this. Take a fucking breath.
” He was on his knees cradling Kuba’s face, making Kuba realize he had turned sideways in his seat at some point and bent at the waist. “Come on, son. I’ve got you. Look at me.”
Kuba’s gaze locked onto Dread’s eyes. Damn. They were the same eyes he saw in the mirror each day.
Dread took a deep breath. “Breathe with me.”
Kuba took one breath, sending just enough oxygen to his brain to open the floodgates to completely falling apart.
“You don’t understand.” He sucked in another painful-sounding breath.
“You saw what I did to him.” Another wheeze.
“I can’t take that back.” Wheeze. “I’ve lost everything.
Mom is gone.” Wheeze. “Media and fans only care about my sexuality.” Wheeze.
“Jayme hates me.” Wheeze. “I lost the only man I love. It’s all gone.
” Oddly, once the words were out, it got easier to breathe.
His gaze shot around. There was no one else around.
Even the front counter was empty. That wasn’t uncommon here.
He had to get himself under control before his weakness made his life worse.
“You’re not weak.”
Fuck. Had he said that aloud? His brain was too foggy. He wasn’t in control of his body. Everything was a mess.
Obviously assured Kuba wouldn’t die, and conscious of Kuba’s privacy concerns, Dread moved back to his seat.
“Look, I know I’ll never be your dad. I don’t even have the right to be here right now, but I am.
Even though there’s no place in your life for me, I can listen without judgment.
God knows I’ve fucked up my own life and learned a thing or two.
Sometimes, you just need someone not involved in the situation to hear you out. ”
He felt sick. His hands shook, and his head pounded.
Kuba couldn’t think straight enough to remember to hate Dread.
He found himself staring into eyes that matched his and saying things he had never confessed.
“Not a single person on Earth knew about my sexuality before Diesel. He just made things so peaceful and easy. When he was around, I forgot to be scared. It was like I became someone else. Loving him was the simplest thing I’ve ever done.
Then I was staring at images of us during the deepest moments of my life, and all I could think about was how everyone knowing about us could destroy my chance at beating you.
Everyone would focus on my private life and not the fact that I made sure you never challenged me again.
Then, in that same moment, Jayme looked at me as if he had never been betrayed more.
He stormed out because he knew what I had done.
He knew this was the end of my career, and therefore his.
I’m twenty-one. I should be living my best life with every success I’ve had.
Instead, all I’ve cared about is my hatred for you, and it cost me everything.
I don’t know how to take any of it back. ”
“You choose Diesel.” Dread said the words as if the answer was just that simple.
“No amount of press coverage can steal what you’ve accomplished.
If people want a chance at that strap, they still have to come through you to get it, and they can’t.
No one is as good as you are. You’ll keep demanding their respect with your skills.
As for Jayme, let that motherfucker go. You were in a moment of crisis and needed every one of your friends on your side.
He chose himself. Let him keep doing it.
That’s not a real friend. Diesel didn’t leave.
He was by your side all the way up until you forced him to go.
” Dread never looked away from him. He looked as if he took Kuba’s problem as seriously as he would his own.
“Don’t let this fester. Show up and refuse to leave.
Make sure he can’t doubt that you choose him.
He seems like a great guy. Mistakes are part of life, but it’s not too late to fix things. So make it right.”
For reasons beyond him, Dread’s every word sounded like the gospel.
He sounded like a man who knew the exact directions to get his life back on track.
That was exactly what Kuba needed to hear.
That was two dads telling him not to give up on winning Diesel back.
He supposed if they equally thought he could—considering how different they were—Kuba couldn’t give up. He had to get his man.