Chapter Twenty-Three
Kason
I’d been a little nervous waking up to an empty bed. I worried something was wrong but then heard him and my mom laughing when I walked out of my room.
Even hearing that didn’t prepare me for how much it would make me smile to see him being himself and enjoying his time with my family. God, I want him, love him, want to wake up to him every day of my life.
Breakfast is good, the four of us at the table together.
Dad engages with Anthony as much as possible, making it a point to get to know him.
Then Dad and I clean up since Mom and Anthony made breakfast, and we go get ready for the day.
By the time Anthony and I are dressed and back downstairs, Courtney and Aline are here.
We follow the traditions we always share when I’m home—playing board games, Pictionary, Charades, and basically anything competitive we can come up with.
“He always thinks he can beat me, but he never does,” Courtney tells Anthony. “You’re on my team for Charades.”
“I always win,” I correct her. “And don’t think that changes just because you’re my guy,” I tease my boyfriend.
“Did I never tell you I’m a Charades champion in two states? You’re going down, Kason Maddox.”
“Oooooh,” everyone taunts.
“This means war,” I throw back.
The little brat is, as a matter of fact, really fucking good at Charades—both acting out his parts and guessing. They win two out of three matches, but we’re victorious in Pictionary.
We don’t leave the house all day. We just play games, eat, and enjoy each other’s company. When Dad mentions his love of music and his record collection, Anthony perks up.
“I love music,” he tells Dad. That’s not something I knew about Anthony, but it makes sense that someone who loves dancing so much would also love music.
Dad gets hearts in his eyes. “Do you want to see my record collection?”
“I’d love to!” Anthony stands, leans over and kisses me, giving me a small smile.
“Send a code if you need to be saved!” I joke. Once my dad starts talking about music, it’s tough to escape.
My father playfully flips me off before disappearing into his den with my boyfriend to give him the history of every record and band he likes.
Mom and Aline are playing chess in the corner. I’m not surprised when the couch dips beside me, Court plopping down.
“I know I said this yesterday, but he’s great.”
I nod. “Yeah, he is.”
“Have you told him how you feel?”
“Not those three words, no. I’ve told him how much I like him…
and I do, Court. So fucking much.” I rub a hand over my face.
“Clearly, I’m in love with the guy, and it’s not like me to hold that back.
I just don’t want to push him too far too fast. He’s been through a lot…
with his family situation, men. He hasn’t had a lot of people see his worth, so he struggles to see it. ”
She takes my hand. “You see it.”
“I do.”
“And he trusts you. He knows the kind of man you are. He knows you won’t hurt him.”
“Knowing things and allowing yourself to believe them, or hell, just not to be scared, isn’t always the same.”
“He should be scared. You should be too. It’s normal to be afraid, little bro.
Being in love is the best feeling in the whole fucking world, but it can also be devastating.
And there are no promises. I would say for a relationship to last there should be a healthy sort of fear there, and what matters is how you respond to that fear.
Keeping the lines of communication open, talking to each other, being truthful and supporting each other.
There’s not a doubt in my mind you will both do that. ”
I let out a deep breath, sinking into the back of the couch. She’s right. I know she is.
“You know, it takes a special person for me to believe they’re worthy of you. You’re my favorite person,” she tells me.
“Other than Aline, of course,” I joke.
“Obviously. She’s in a world of her own. But you’re so good, Kase. Better than anyone has a right to be, really. Sometimes it’s a bit annoying, but I digress.”
I chuckle.
“Seriously, though, it’s not easy to deserve you, but he does. You should tell him how you feel. I can see how strong he wants to appear, how strong he wants to be, but I think he might need to hear it from you first.”
I agree with her. Plus, I don’t want to keep anything from Anthony. I’ve been honest about how I feel since our dating debacle, and changing that up now won’t do us any good. “I will.” I pat her thigh.
“Good. You should always listen to your big sister. I know everything.”
I roll my eyes at her playfully. “Thanks, Court. You’re the best. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
I give Dad and Anthony about half an hour before I join them. Dad is talking his ear off, the Traveling Wilburys playing in the background. Anthony seems to be enjoying their discussion, so I sit back and watch them, revel in seeing the two of them together, my boyfriend bonding with my dad.
Eventually, Dad says, “I suppose I’ve chatted long enough. I could talk about music all day.”
“I get it. I’m the same with dance.”
“Hopefully May and I will get to see you dance sometime,” Dad says, and I don’t doubt his sincerity. He and Mom are the type who want to support everyone they care about. It’s how I was able to accomplish my dreams.
“Maybe not at Lush,” Anthony jokes, the three of us sharing a laugh.
Dad’s cheeks turn slightly pink. “Shall we go get ready for dinner?”
“Sure,” Anthony replies. I stand and hold my hand out for him, pulling him to his feet.
We go back into the living room, joining the others. Dad has had a pot roast, potatoes, carrots, and onions in the Crock-Pot most of the day. Dinner is a loud affair, followed by cleaning up together, then watching a movie.
I wrap my arm around Anthony on the couch, pulling him close.
He snuggles against my side, his hand on my stomach, massaging it while we watch the comedy.
I can’t stop thinking about my conversation with Courtney, though.
She’s right. Plus, I really want to tell him.
I’m happy about this development in our relationship.
Hell, I want everyone to know how I feel about Anthony, but I understand that he’s been through something really traumatizing. Fuck Malcolm for what he did to my guy.
When the movie is over, Courtney and Aline get ready to head home. Anthony and I leave for LA tomorrow, the weekend feeling shorter than it really is. I’ll see Aline and Court in the morning, but still, I say, “I’ll walk you out.”
“Me too,” Anthony says.
“Do you want to go for a walk afterward?”
He gives me a nod, and the four of us bundle up. There are lots of hugs and early goodbyes, Courtney holding on to Anthony longer than expected. “I hope you come back with Kason next time, and Aline and I will visit you guys in LA.”
“That’ll be fun. We’ll have to go out one night.”
“Yes!” my sister replies.
Anthony and I watch them until their taillights disappear. It’s freezing out, but still I take his hand, the two of us walking down the sidewalk together, the path lit by streetlights.
I’m about to open my mouth to speak, but Anthony beats me to it. “Your family is so great.”
I grin. “They really are.”
“I see where you get it from.”
I just nod, sensing he has more to say. If Anthony wants to speak, I’m going to let him. I can tell him how I feel afterward…because I am going to tell him. I want him to know he’s loved and that won’t change for me.
“I felt like I belong today…yesterday too…and there are so few places I’ve truly felt like that. With Hayes and Donovan, at Lush, with you, and now here, with them. I know that’s probably a lot for you to hear, but—”
“It’s not. It’s what I want to hear from you. You do belong here with my family, just like you belong with me.”
We stop walking, the light above like it’s shining just for us. When we turn to face each other, Anthony’s eyes are glassy.
“Beautiful…what’s wrong?” I hold his face in my gloved hands, wishing I wasn’t wearing them so I could feel his skin against mine.
He shakes his head. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I just…” He pauses for a moment, looks unsure, then straightens his spine and says, “I’m in love with you.”
My heart nearly bursts out of my chest, expanding into something bigger, like a parachute just released. I try to find words, but nothing comes out right away. It shouldn’t be this hard for me to respond. Hell, I planned to tell him tonight, but of course Anthony would beat me to it.
“I know this is probably too soon and maybe not the best place to tell you, but I’m in love with you,” he says again.
“I’ve never been in love before. I thought I had, but it was nothing compared to how I feel about you, and…
I wanted you to know. It’s okay if you’re not there yet, or hell, if you’re never there, but it’s important to me to say it.
To claim it. I’m so tired of being afraid of everything, Kason. ”
I probably look like the world’s biggest idiot, like my smile is trying to devour my face, but I can’t help it. “I’m in love with you too. I’m crazy fucking in love with you. I was talking to my sister about it earlier and planned to tell you on this walk.”
He beams at me just as ridiculously as I’m probably looking at him. “You told your sister?”
“Yes.”
“You were going to tell me tonight?”
“Yes. I’m in love with you, and I want everyone to know it. I want you to know it.” Because that’s the most important thing. “I don’t want a day to go by for the rest of your life where you don’t know you’re loved by me. And that you’ll always have family here.”
Tears are freely flowing down his face now.
I wait for him to say something, anything, but instead Anthony slams his mouth over mine, kissing me like he’s dying for it, like he’s…
in love with me and wants me to feel how much with each movement of his lips, each swipe of his tongue, in the way he wraps his arms around me and holds me close.
“I know I said no sex at your parents’ house, but do you think we could do it quietly tonight? I really need to feel you inside me. God, I want so bad to come all filled with your dick.”
“We can make it work.” I nibble on his neck. “I want to fill you all up with my cum…one should do that after they tell the man they’re in love with that they love him, right?”
“Yes. God yes. Every day. All the time.”
I take his hand, pulling him toward the house. “That sounds perfect to me.”