Chapter Thirty-Four
Quinn
M y eyes burn as I rush out of Bram’s bedroom. I thought it hurt when I’d woken up to find myself alone in Bram’s bed and him nowhere in sight. But this? I made a fool of myself last night. I gave him everything, and he didn’t even want it.
I snort to myself. He wanted something. I guess it just didn’t mean the same to him as it did to me. My cheeks heat as I grab my purse and practically drag Lois and Jovie out of the house. Lois glances at me in confusion, but I can’t say anything or I know I’ll burst into tears.
“Where did Bram go?” Jovie cranes her neck, attempting to catch a glimpse of him before we leave.
“He had to get ready for work,” I reply, my voice coming out shaky.
Once we are on our way to meet Julie at the Peach Beach Spa, Lois glances over at me. “Everything okay?”
“Yes.”
She makes a noncommittal sound. “Sure.”
“I’m fine, Lois,” I snap, proving that I am indeed not fine. But really. This is not the time or place to be having a serious discussion. Not with little ears in the back seat listening to every word we say.
“Ahh . . . I see.”
“See what?”
Her brow raises. “Lover’s spat?”
I roll my eyes. “No.” You’d have to actually be lovers to have a lover’s spat, but I don’t say that to Lois.
Thankfully, she doesn’t press the issue. I wrap my arms around myself, trying to process everything that happened last night and Bram’s apology this morning.
Did he sleep with me . . . out of pity? I was crying and upset last night, seeking comfort in his arms. Telling him all of my secrets. Was that the only reason he stayed? Because he felt sorry for me? I want to bury my head in my hands in shame. Not only did I ask him if I could sleep in his room, but then I’d gone and practically begged him to sleep with me.
“If it helps any, making up is always the best part of a fight,” Lois says in a low, conspiratorial voice, waggling her eyebrows at me.
My face warms even more. If only she knew. But I am definitely not going to open up to her that my marriage is a farce. That would be a disaster.
Julie is waiting for us outside the spa. Taking one look at me with her inquisitive green eyes, she wraps me in a hug. “We’ll talk later,” she whispers in my ear.
Her concern warms me, and though I love my best friend, I’m not sure I’m ready to divulge the humiliating events that have taken place over the last twenty-four hours. I offer her a smile and a nod as we head inside the salon.
The facial and massage do wonders for my mood, helping me relax. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself. Earlier I could only go one or two minutes without thinking about last night, but now I’m making it to five. I’ll call it progress.
Jovie keeps Lois and Julie entertained with her excitement over every little thing. I try to join, but my heart isn’t in it. There are too many emotions flooding me every time I remember the way it felt to be wrapped in Bram’s strong embrace. His tender and reverent touches made me feel cherished. Loved. Safe. Not to mention the endless string of kisses he pressed against my skin, leaving a blazing trail of fire in their wake.
Warmth spreads across my face, and I pray I can forget it even happened. But every skim of his fingers gliding across my skin and every place his lips touched branded me forever. He’s claimed my body and my heart, but obviously, the intimate night affected me more than Bram.
When we’ve finished our massage, the worker leads us to the waiting room for refreshments. It’s more of a sunroom with a view of one of the peach groves right outside. There are two dark gray plush couches and five matching armchairs. I glance down at the material, and an image of Bram’s stormy eyes flashes through my mind.
Does everything have to remind me of the man?
Lois is currently with Jovie getting a manicure, so Julie and I help ourselves to some tea and cookies while we wait for our pedicures. I hope Julie has forgotten about earlier, but as soon as the thought crosses my brain, she turns to me and raises a dark red eyebrow. “All right, spill.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lie, taking a bite of the tea cookie.
She rolls her eyes. “How long have we known each other? I know something is going on.” Crossing her arms, she sits back and waits for me to explain.
The cookie turns to ash in my mouth. I take a sip of the tea in an attempt to wash it down. Clearing my throat, I glance around the room to make sure no one is hiding in the corner eavesdropping on us.
“Something . . . happened,” I offer lamely.
“Obviously.”
“Between Bram and me.”
She sits up slightly, her eyes widening. “Like?”
Heat rushes to my cheeks. Covering my face with my hands, I mumble, “We slept together.”
“What?”
Peeking through my fingers, I repeat in a clearer, but low voice, “Bram and I . . . slept together.”
I wait for her raised brows and widened eyes or a gasp of shock. Instead, she just blinks at me. “And?”
Now it’s my turn to stare blankly at her. “And? What do you mean and!?” My gaze darts around the room before I lean in and practically hiss, “Julie, I slept with Bram!”
She shrugs. “Um. He’s your husband. It’s not surprising.”
“My husband-of-convenience. It’s not the same.”
Julie gives me a small smile. “Quinn, regardless of how this marriage started, he is your husband. You’re his wife. And you are both very attractive people.” She shrugs again, taking a sip of her tea. “It makes sense that it would happen eventually.”
My mouth drops open. “Sure, maybe in a year when we’ve gotten to know each other better,” I say, waving my hand in the air. “Not less than three months after we’re married.”
Julie takes a bite of her cookie. “I’m surprised it took you this long.”
“What!?”
Leveling a look at me, she sighs. “Seriously, Quinn. What did you expect to happen when you married him? You told me that it was going to be a real marriage. And I am certainly not an expert in that department, but I’m pretty sure that’s a huge part of married life.”
Twisting my hands together, I duck my head. “I came on to him,” I admit softly. “Julie, I begged him.” Shame washes over me again, and I swallow over the lump in my throat. “I-I thought maybe . . . maybe we had begun to have a connection over the last few weeks. And then this morning, he apologized for it.”
Julie frowns. “He apologized for . . .” she trails off, her brows dipping together.
Nodding, I blink back tears. “Yup. I woke up alone to an empty house, and when he came back in, he apologized.”
“What else did he say?”
I lift a helpless shoulder, wiping a tear from the corner of my eye. “Nothing. I left right after.”
“So you ran?”
My spine stiffens. “I didn’t say that.”
Crossing her arms, she narrows her eyes at me. “Did Bram say he regretted last night? Or that it was a mistake?”
I think back to the conversation I had with him and shake my head. “No. I mean, I don’t think so. He said he was sorry.”
“Hmm . . . and how do you feel about it?”
“I don’t know.” I heave a deep sigh. “Julie, I care about him. He makes me laugh. Makes me feel safe and cared for.”
“You love him.” It’s a statement, not a question.
Glancing down at my hands, I reply, “I think I’m starting to.”
Julie leans forward, grasping my hands in hers. “Quinn, you need to talk to him.”
I manage a nod before Lois comes waltzing back in, wearing a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. “Okay, ladies.” She clasps her hands together and flips her blonde curls over a slender shoulder. “They’re ready for our pedicures. Jovie is already in there picking out all of our colors.”
Lois turns and struts down the hallway before giving either of us a chance to answer. I toss a warning glance at Julie who promptly mimics zipping her lips before we follow my sister.
Forcing my thoughts away from Bram, I plaster a smile on my face and promise myself I’m going to focus on enjoying the day with Jovie before she leaves me forever.
That thought only adds another weight to my already heavy chest.