Chapter 16 #2
“You don’t suck.” Miles flopped to the floor beside me, laying the blanket in his lap as he unrolled it. “You broke Daniel Cole’s spell. I can’t do anything.”
“You made the magic circle,” I reminded him, drawing my knees to my chest. “Plus, that one time, you kind of threatened Julian.” Or he’d gotten Julian to calm down when he was angry at Finn after our connection with Kiania came to light.
He sighed, answering my questioning statement. “It didn’t matter—he only listened because of you. He knew I probably wouldn’t have been able to stop him. Maybe?”
“You could or couldn’t?”
Miles shrugged, tensing his jaw. Dried blood remained streaked over his cheek, and the cut and surrounding area had begun to turn crimson.
I looked away and shivered. “I’m s-sorry…” I hugged myself. We might have found shelter, but my clothes were still damp and cold.
I’d become unused to these sorts of situations. Could I even remember how to survive?
Miles’s attention snapped back to me, his thick lips turning into a deep frown as his gaze wandered over my face.
“You’re cold,” he remarked, ignoring my apology.
“It’s o-o-okay.” I meant it.
“No, it’s not.” He glanced at the blanket, which he had finally finished unraveling, and back to me. Something hardened in his eyes. “Strip.”
My throat closed, and I blinked at him.
“What?” I hugged myself so tightly that my fingernails dug into my arms.
Even without his explanation, I knew why he was saying this. I wasn’t stupid.
Still, I never expected him to be so blunt about it. The man wasn’t even blushing!
As if my thoughts had summoned his modesty, his face turned red.
“I-I mean,” he stammered, averting his eyes from mine and clutching the blanket against his chest. “I won’t let you get sick. I won’t look at you. You can trust me, I would never—”
“Stop.” My breath caught. I leaned toward him, and he flinched when I touched his cheek.
This was the kind of reaction I’d been trying to avoid. “I am not questioning your honor,” I told him, fully meaning it.
“You make me sound so noble…” he muttered.
Because he was. “Even though you’re not a monk right now,” I continued. “I still—”
“Now, just hold on,” Miles interrupted, suddenly grabbing my hands. “You’re misunderstanding something very important. While it is true that I have been a monk, that term doesn’t mean what you think it means.”
“What does it mean?” A monk was a monk.
Miles sat back on his heels, and his shoulders slumped. “I don’t think we should be having this conversation while we’re sitting here wet—”
“Tell me,” I commanded. I was onto something here. I couldn’t allow him to back out of this.
He shot me a strange look, and resignation laced his voice when he spoke. “ Yes . I’ve been a monk. But I’ve also been a priest, a rabbi, and other ranked religious officials.”
I still wasn’t sure about this—he hadn’t mentioned his primary practice. “How does that work with you being a witch?”
Miles shrugged. “Witchcraft is a practice, not a religion. It’s been commonly mislabeled throughout history in ignorance.”
“…So what is it?” I wanted to understand.
“Witches have many different specialties,” he explained. “Some work with herbs, while others prefer crystals or a combination. Some don’t do spellwork at all. It’s all based on personal preference.”
“So, you don’t worship the devil?”
“I told you I don’t.” Miles rolled his eyes.
He shook his head as if clearing his thoughts, and his gaze refocused on mine.
“Now that that’s cleared up,” he said, “I need you to understand something. While I had taken a vow of chastity, that was only in our first life. Our lifespans were different then.”
I blinked at him, my heart echoing furiously.
What did that mean?
“But, during that life, I abandoned those vows,” Miles continued—his eyes steady on mine.
“Why?” My voice was almost a whisper. The air was thick, and my skin hummed. The damp fabric clung to my skin, and the warmth of Miles’s body reached out to me. Rich, dark eyes held mine, and my heart began racing as his breath mingled with mine.
Despite the cold, the temperature warmed. He didn’t even have to answer me, I knew .
It had something to do with me.
He broke eye contact first. He moved to his feet and held up the blanket. “I’m going to air this out—it smells dusty. I’ll be back in ten minutes, and when I return, you’re stripping. Don’t argue with me,” he quickly added before I could protest. “I will not gamble with your health.”
Despite everything, a flush of shyness washed over me. It was ridiculous—these boys had seen me in far less than only a blanket.
Soon enough Miles was back, his gaze carefully averted, and the room felt like it was closing in, leaving me nowhere to hide.
“Okay,” he said, sounding as nervous as me. He glanced at me before turning away. The blanket was still wrapped around his arms. “Take your clothes off and put them by the fire.”
I stared at his back, my heart pounding. He was serious, and somehow, I was sure I couldn’t change his mind.
This was stupid—I shouldn’t be nervous. I’d taken a bath with Julian in the same room before.
So why did this feel different?
My face was hot as I pushed to my hands and knees, but he didn’t move. Our cave was small, and the light from the fire reached even the most shadowy corners. He could easily look at me at any time, but he steadfastly remained turned away.
I hesitated before slowly peeling off the damp clothes and crumpling back onto the ground, covering myself. “I—I’m done,” I whispered.
Miles didn’t turn around. Instead, he extended his arm out to the side, close enough for me to touch, and held the blanket out in my direction. “Here.”
“T-thanks,” I said, grabbing the blanket.
I pulled my knees up and wrapped myself tightly in it. Only after I’d settled did Miles turn from his stance near the wall. He continued to look away as he sat, legs crossed, his back to the stone.
He remained subdued as he watched the floor near the fire, seemingly deep in thought.
Although the fire fought off the chill, it couldn’t warm the ground beneath me. We sat near the cave’s entrance to let the smoke escape, but because of this, our camp was in the path of the occasional breeze.
The fire helped, but the drafts were persistent. I glanced at Miles, wondering if he felt as cold as I did.
He sat across from me, his back to the cave entrance, absorbed in the fire’s glow.
He seemed unfazed by the situation and wasn’t much for talking.
My stomach rumbled, and he glanced up once, apologizing for our lack of food.
Our only supplies were those that were here: the blanket, a dwindling supply of firewood, and a rusty hunting knife.
Despite the sparse provisions, we would manage. Things would look different by morning.
The trepidation began to release me as he’d kept his promise to make me comfortable, not once giving me an awkward look. It was considerate of him. But why did he have to sit so far away? And still in his wet clothes, too—he was the one who risked catching a cold.
This was ridiculous. What would the others say about me if Miles died from being too noble?
If I were normal, this wouldn’t even be an issue. If I were any other girl, he’d be under this blanket with me.
It’d been a long time since I’d been near a naked man—Titus didn’t count since nudity seemed to come so naturally to him. I wasn’t sure if I was mentally ready, but I had no choice. I couldn’t be selfish.
“You should take off your clothes too,” I said, hoping he couldn’t see the rising heat in my face. “We can share.”
Miles gasped, pulling back. “I can’t!”
I sighed.
We couldn’t afford for me to be dramatic right now.
Besides, there was this other matter… It was getting harder to stay awake; I’d never done well in freezing temperatures.
“I’m cold…” I’d stopped shivering some time ago. How much worse might it be for him?
Miles moved to his feet, rushed to me, and cursed as he ran his hands over the blanket. His rough knuckles brushed against my jaw in his hurry—his skin was like ice. His brown eyes swam in my vision, and he didn’t even try to hide his panic.
“What can I do…” he asked, helplessness lacing his voice.
Well, we had only one blanket and only one logical solution.
“You’re c-cold too.” I was so nervous I could hardly speak. “Get n-naked and come under the blanket with me. We can warm each other.”
Besides, it would be fine. From my understanding, a man’s manhood was not nearly so impressive in such terrible temperatures. I had no idea how large he might be, but surely there was less chance of accidental rubbings or even, dare I say, arousals.
That would be a situation I would much rather avoid.
“I won’t!” he protested, dropping his hands from my shoulders as he looked away. “I can see that you’re scared.”
“It’s not that bad,” I countered.
This was my idea, so why was I nervous? Maybe there was a better way, a solution I missed, and he’d think of it now.
It wasn’t like he’d agree. The man was stubborn. He played soccer bare-chested and flaunted his endurance in freezing weather.
Oh well. At least I could say I tried, but it would take a lot for him to—
“Okay.” Miles turned his attention back to me, resolve etched sharply in his expression. His movements were quick and stilted as he peeled off his jacket and shirt and slipped off the ugly camo pants.
My pulse soared in my ears. He was doing it!
A silent scream echoed through my thoughts as Miles turned from me, now completely naked, and laid out his shirts and pants alongside mine.
I didn’t close my eyes fast enough to miss the expanse of his well-muscled back, which, technically, even though I’d seen it before, was no less impressive with every new viewing.
Thankfully, I had the fortitude to keep my eyes from… the front. But it was impossible to look away from the curve of his butt. The man even had a dimple there .
Then I spotted it, and my long-held question was finally answered.
Right in the middle of the curve of his backside was his mark.
“It’s on your butt?” I covered my mouth in surprise. What a curiously embarrassing spot for such a mark. I hoped there would never come a day when he’d have to bare it to the world for authenticity.
Miles paused, an eyebrow arching as he turned to catch my gaze. “Are you seriously looking at my ass?”
“But it’s on your gluteus maximus!” I pointed at him.
“Please stop.” Miles frowned. “Do you need to do this every time? It’s just an ass.”
He wasn’t embarrassed anymore; in fact, that was annoyance flickering in his eyes. A sense of déjà vu briefly blackened my vision—a dream of another time and place.
“Bianca?” Miles’s voice sliced through my reverie, and the warm press of his hands steadied my shoulders. “Are you okay? Do you need me to—”
No .
I reached out, pressing my hand against his chest before he could think to flee. This moment wasn’t just about my usual quirks or fears.
“We’ve done this before?” I whispered, feeling the edges of the memory slip away as quickly as it had surfaced. It sifted through my fingers like trying to hold on to a handful of sand.
This wasn’t new. We’d had this conversation once long ago, and in a location very much like this one.
Miles’s expression morphed from white-faced horror to scarlet mortification. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You said so yourself,” I reminded him. “What happened?”
What a strange, dizzying experience. A haze had settled over my thoughts, and my body didn’t feel like mine.
That changed abruptly when Miles grunted. Without warning, he settled beside me and pulled me into his lap. My mind was elsewhere as he wrapped the blanket around us, and I barely registered the sensation of his skin against mine. My thoughts scrambled to catch up.
By the time I fully grasped the situation, I was already snuggled against him, warm and comfortable, with my cheek pressed to his chest. The opportunity for embarrassment had passed before I even had the chance to react.
“Miles!” I exclaimed a bit belatedly.
He looked apologetic. “One of us had to make the first move,” he explained.
I might have argued, but as he held me, eyes closed, head resting against the stone wall, a different sense of discomfort tugged at my awareness.
It wasn’t about him holding me or even that we were naked together. Strangely, now that it was happening, I felt too comfortable to be anything more than slightly embarrassed. He hadn’t made any further moves, just kept me close, and Miles, by his nature, wasn’t threatening.
This was almost nice.
Yet, something felt off.
Why had Miles suddenly grown so bold? He had been so hesitant before. His shift only came after I mentioned the possibility of something forgotten between us.
He was trying to distract me, and I couldn’t help but wonder… why ?