14. Blake #2
“Well,” Jace bites his lip thoughtfully, “I think you might be right about the whole being into us separately thing, so while I think he’s still interested, we might have to ease into the three of us actually dating.”
“And how the hell do we do that?”
“Sex.”
“You literally just said we wouldn’t do that to him.” I take a step back and cross my arms, giving Jace a hard stare.
“Calm down a second, okay? Think about it.” Jace runs a hand through his hair.
“Even though we both think our time with Kane was about more than sex, that’s how it started, right?
” He waits for my nod to continue, which I grudgingly give him.
“Then that’s how we pick it back up. We tell him neither of us want that to be our only night with him, but we don’t want to put him in a position where he has to choose between us, so we’re willing to share if he is. ”
“That sounds an awful lot like fuck buddies.” I rub my temples with a heavy sigh.
“It’s exactly how we ended up together.” Jace arches a thick brow in my direction as he draws a line between the two of us. “We didn’t entertain the idea of dating until after we’d slept together a handful of times.”
“Yeah, but things just evolved that way. What you’re suggesting is more like… a plan.”
“I’m suggesting we use sex as a starting point and see where it goes, just like you and I have. Since Kane still seems to be into both of us, I think it’ll naturally evolve into more.”
I take a steadying breath as I gnaw my bottom lip, uncertain how to respond. Deep down, I know Jace isn’t trying to be malicious, but I’m not sure I agree with his suggested approach. Hell, I’m not even sure I agree with the idea at all.
“Speaking of us, what do we tell Kane about this?” I draw a line between the two of us. “He’ll really feel like a third wheel if we ask him to join our bed.”
“That’s why we leave out the us part out until he gets comfortable with the three of us together.”
“You mean lie?” I pull my brows together.
“I mean do exactly what we’re already doing by keeping things between us behind closed doors.” He shoots me a pointed look.
Fuck, he’s got me there.
“So, roommates in public and what… fuck buddies in front of Kane?”
“Roommates in public, and maybe that’s the only label we have to use.”
“That’s still lying.”
“It’s not lying to say we’re attracted to each other but we have to keep that a secret since you’re not out. And it’s also not lying to say we’d like Kane to be part of that secret with us.”
“To what end?” I pace back and forth in the small entry, my nerves making me jittery. “I was working up to coming out for you . For us . If we add a third—I’m not sure I could ever…” I trail off.
Jace steps into my path. “First of all, you shouldn’t come out for me. Or anyone. You should do it for you and the life you want to live.”
“But you said—”
“I said I didn’t want to wait indefinitely. You’re the one who said that was fair. If you’ve changed your mind about—”
“I haven’t,” I interrupt. “I want to give us a serious chance. I just…” My head collapses against Jace’s shoulder when he wraps me in his arms .
“We can forget I brought it up if you want. I thought you’d be relieved to know it doesn’t bother me if you still felt pulled toward Kane, but I shouldn’t have suggested you explore that when you’re still getting used to the idea of coming out.”
“You feel pulled toward him too, though, and you want to act on it. I don’t know if I have the right to tell you not to.”
Jace takes my face in his hands. “Of course you do.”
“Yeah, but…” I take a shuddering breath. “It’s like you said, the feelings don’t just go away. Is it fair of me to ask you to ignore them?”
“If that’s important to you, yes.” Jace places a chaste kiss on my forehead.
“Whether it’s you and me, whether we include a third, hell even if I’m not in the picture and it’s you and someone else…
You always get to have an option, and a good partner will respect it.
If you’re strongly opposed to exploring things with Kane, we won’t. ”
“What if I’m more scared than opposed?” It’s a struggle to meet Jace’s eyes, but I force myself to do it, breathing a little sigh of relief when I see there’s only acceptance in them.
“I’d ask what specifically you’re scared about so we can talk through it.”
“A better question is what I’m not scared about,” I snort.
“If you’re scared of everything, why would you even consider it?” Jace’s fingers find the back of my neck and gently knead the short hairs there.
“Because I’m not sure either of us can ignore the pull we feel toward Kane, and I’d rather explore that together than separately or not at all.”
“Are you sure? I feel like I’m pushing you.”
I give my head a firm shake. “You’re only being honest, for both of us. I just… You seriously think this could work? As in the three of us could be a… I don’t even know what to call it.”
“A throuple. And yeah, I think it could. More and more people like us are doing it.”
“You’re really not bullshitting me about this?” Up until this point I was half convinced Jace was making this up. I mean, three people ? That’s not normal. Intriguing, sure. But in a fantasy sort of way. Only, he’s got too many solutions for this to be strictly fantasy.
Jace takes my hand and leads me to the couch, pulling me down so I’m between his legs with my back to him.
“A few years ago, I hooked up with a husband and wife.” He wraps his arms around me and holds me close.
“They had a good thing going, but he was bi, and she encouraged it. They wanted another man in their life, and for a few weeks I was that man.” He pauses, waiting for me to react I think, and when I don’t he kisses my neck and continues.
“At the time, I wasn’t in a place to consider a relationship, but ever since then, I’ve been sort of fascinated by the idea that I could have the same thing one day, with the right people.
What’s more right than three people who already have a connection?
” Jace finds my hand and links our fingers together.
“It’s different, yes. And some people might not understand it, but that doesn’t mean it can’t work.
That three people can’t be every bit as happy as two. So, what do you think?”