16. Kane
Chapter sixteen
Kane
T he hours that normally fly by are dragging today, which I suspect is because I’m not focused on work. Instead, my mind is stuck in a loop, replaying the encounter with the two men I feel certain now know have both shared my bed.
I hope neither are the jealous, possessive type, otherwise my having slept with both of them could make living together awkward, and I wouldn’t want to come between roommates.
Roommates . Gah – how awkward is that? I’ve only indulged in sexy times twice in the last year, but with those two guys living together they’re bound to think they’re two of many.
Even though I’m not a prude, I hate the idea that they might think of me as a playboy.
That’s not a reputation I want, particularly among the two men who hold a special place in my heart for the way they made me feel during our brief time together.
And don’t even get me started on the fact that I’ll have to face one of those men every day at work. There’s literally no escape.
I want to kick and scream and cry over the fact that there are two people who meet my definition of the perfect guy right in front of me, yet neither of them is available.
Yes, that makes me sound like someone who’s desperate for love, and yeah—who doesn’t want to find their person.
But right now, I’d settle for just avoiding the same loneliness I came here to escape, and I’m not sure how to accomplish that in a love triangle.
Alright, that might be taking things too far.
One night doesn’t equal love—logically, I know that.
Emotionally, I’m stuck on feeling a connection that went beyond friendship with two people that I still want and could never choose between.
I’m not sure that makes friendship with either of them even possible.
My fresh start is looking more and more like a disaster waiting to happen instead of a golden opportunity, which really frosts my Cheerios, as my sister likes to say in front of her kids.
Backtracking the path I just covered–because I was so lost in thought I ended up merely walking instead of critiquing how the trail is coming together–I compare what’s on the plans to what the crew has built.
This particular section contains several switchbacks—not the hairpin turns that will be on more challenging trails—but wider curves that will encourage riders to lean the bike and utilize the outer edge of the trail to maintain speed through the turn.
That means the berms need to be several feet high, and I’m not sure they’re as tall as more experienced riders would like, because the taller the berm the faster you can whip around the corner.
This is a green run though, so it might work as is.
I’ll have to ride it to be sure, when we’re a little further along.
“You want more dirt over here?” I lift my head to see Blake pointing at one of the turns in question. My stomach does little flips with the realization that he can read my thoughts just by looking at me.
“It crossed my mind.” I glance back at the plans in my hand to avoid getting lost in his handsome face and disguise the fact that my blush is not from the midday sun .
“Part of me wants to say we need more so I can ride this the way I want, but then I think about how it’s technically a beginner trail, and maybe shorter berms will force me to go a little slower and not terrify people trying to learn.”
It’s like he’s living inside my brain. “I’m having the same dilemma.”
“How do we decide?”
“We ride it.” I risk a quick peek in his direction, shooting my eyes back to the ground when I realize he’s staring intently at me.
“So…” The long pause has me glancing up in time to see him awkwardly rub the back of his neck. “Want to grab pizza with me and Jace, tonight?”
Of all the things he could say, that’s the last one I’m expecting to hear. “Why?”
“You’re new in town—probably haven’t met many people yet—and you once saved me from being the lonely guy at the bar. I’m trying to return the favor.”
“That was… Things are… Do you really think that’s a good idea?” I fold my lips between my teeth and hold my breath.
“Why wouldn’t it be?” He lifts his shoulder casually.
I feel my eyes roll back in my head as I exhale. “Can we not pretend you don’t know? Before I met you I…”
“Slept with Jace. Yeah, of course I know. It was written all over both your faces.”
“That doesn’t bother you?”
“No. You’re fun, you’re hot, you love biking… If anyone can understand why he was drawn to you it’s me, although—” he ducks his head to avoid my eyes “—he’s the only one who knows I can understand that. Besides you I mean. ”
It takes me a second to process those words, and when I do, I’m pretty sure I don’t manage to keep my jaw from dropping open. “You’re not out.”
“Ah, no. Not yet. One day maybe. Probably. But… yeah. I’m not out.”
My brain is firing with no less than a dozen questions, but the way Blake’s holding his breath suggests he’d rather not have to answer them. Not now.
“Anyway,” he rushes on like he didn’t just render me speechless. “I don’t have a problem knowing you’ve been with him. Does it bother you that you’ve been with both of us?” The smile he sends me is cautious but somehow also coy, almost like he’s testing me.
My stomach might be doing back flips, but I’ll be damned if I tell him that. Calling on my inner flamingo, I give him an equally coy grin. “Nope. All good there.”
“Cool.”
“Yeah, cool.” I force myself to ask the other question I really want the answer to. “I’m guessing the two of you have been together also?”
Blake’s face flushes red. “I mean, he does live in the same house.”
“Convenient.”
“For my situation, yeah. It is,” he agrees softly.
“So, this dinner invitation is…”
“A dinner invitation.” He lifts a nonchalant shoulder.
“And…”
“And—” he somehow gets even redder “—a chance to catch up, or whatever. I’ll text you my address.” Blake spins away before I can say anything else, which leaves me free to freak out minus an audience.
Catch up or whatever.
Does that mean they’re putting me in the friend zone, or could whatever be code for something else. Something we’ve all done before—albeit not together, or something as mundane as watching TV with a few beers?
Seeing as how I don’t really know anyone here, I’m grateful for the invitation, if only so I don’t spend the night alone in my room. I just don’t know what to make of it, especially since all our cards are on the table.
I’ve never been friends with someone after I fucked them. That’s mainly because I’ve never fucked anyone outside a relationship, except the two guys who’ve invited me to dinner, which leaves me clueless as to how this night will go. What’s expected of me.
What’s expected of me? How about getting it out of your head that this invite is anything other than trying to make the new guy feel welcome.
We may have all shared beds at one time or another, but that doesn’t inherently mean we’ll do it again.
Plus, chances are I could be friends—good friends—with both Blake and Jace.
Hooking up with one or the other would leave someone as the third wheel, same as I’d be if those two have something beyond the convenience of living together going on.
So, even though my libido hasn’t put Blake or Jace in the friends only category, it needs to get with the program real quick, because I’d rather have these guys as friends than nothing at all.
***
“Glad you made it. Come on in.” Blake moves aside and holds the door open so I can enter the nondescript little bungalow the guys call home, his timid smile the only outward concession it’s a little weird for the three of us to be alone together.
I ditch my chucks in the foyer and step into the living room, twisting my head right to left to take in the space before me. It’s definitely a bachelor’s place—no decorations to make it feel homey, like pictures or knick knacks that have been collected over time—but it’s clean. Cozy.
“We’ve got pepperoni or supreme, which do you like?” Jace calls from the kitchen.
“One of each.” I follow the voice and make my way over to a rectangular table with two bench seats. Tiny nicks and scratches mar the dark-stained wood, though they don’t scream neglect, more like well-loved. Like it’s a piece that’s been passed down a few generations.
Jace sets a plate and a beer in front of me with a wink as he and Blake take seats across the table. The three of us dive into the food, which I suspect is a ploy to get me to relax instead of jumping into conversation. It works, considering I’m starving.
Halfway into his second slice, Jace breaks the silence. “What do you think of town so far?”
“It’s got more character than I was expecting,” I say around a mouthful of cheese.
An easy smile spreads across his face. “Yeah, I’d never seen a purple building until I came here. It sounds like it should be ugly but somehow, it’s not.”
“I know right,” I agree. “And Blake introduced me to a few guys in town. They seem nice, although only that guy Deacon strikes me as a biker, so I’m not sure what all we’ll have in common.”
“Beck’s a decent rider although he doesn’t do it much, but you’re right about Lennon.
I think the only time he’s even been on two wheels is if he’s hanging on to Axel when they take the Harley for a joyride,” Blake says.
“Maybe that’s something we should offer when the park’s done.
A beginner’s bike course for adults. I bet most of the guys who don’t already ride would be willing to learn, and they’d probably prefer to start on a cross-country trail than a downhill one like what we’re building on the mountain. ”
“Ooh, I like that idea.” My lingering nerves about the evening fade with the mention of biking. “I need to learn the area first. Can you guys show me some good beginner trails?”
“Yeah, Blake.” Jace claps his roommate on the shoulder as he gives me a conspiratorial wink. “Can you show us some trails?”