16. Kane #2
“You don’t know them?” I squint in Jace’s direction.
“He only got his stuff unpacked the other day. I haven’t had time to show him much yet.” Blake stuffs a piece of crust in his mouth.
My gaze darts between the two of them, confusion mounting. “The other day? I thought Jace said he got here last month?”
Jace’s Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows a mouthful of beer.
Swiping his tongue across his upper lip—which I pretend not to be affected by—he locks eyes with mine.
“I said we did a shoot here last month, then Axel talked me into staying. I didn’t have a chance to move my trailer here until just this week. ”
Focus, Kane . “If your trailer is here, how did you two end up as roommates?” I vaguely remember him telling me how nice that trailer is, and how much he loved having his own space. That was last year though.
“Trailers aren’t the most comfortable place to be in the winter, and Blake offered me a room.” Jace casts a quick glance in Blake’s direction as he clears his throat. “Plus, I like the company.” Jace’s eyes find mine again, the chocolate depths making my stomach flutter.
Is he…flirting? About hooking up with Blake?
I make a mental note not to have another beer because it’s making me see things I’m not positive exist in his gaze.
“Well, Blake’s an easy guy to get along with,” I respond lamely .
“He is.” Jace nods without averting his eyes. “I like living here. And I like having you here, too. I’m glad you came over tonight. We both are.”
My skin was already starting to heat up under the intensity of his stare, but something about that comment has me peeking in Blake’s direction to find a matching look on his face.
What is happening? Is this some kind of test to see if we really can be friends?
And if it is, who are they testing? Me, or themselves?
“I’m uh, glad to be here, too. It was nice to have company over dinner. I should probably be going though.”
“What’s the rush?” Jace’s smooth voice wraps around me, causing tingles of electricity to erupt all over my body.
“You can stay as long as you want.” Blake’s soft invitation almost sounds like a plea.
For a brief moment, I flash back to our night together, when he said the same thing after we devoured each other for the first time.
Then it’s gone, replaced by two gorgeous faces that have a spark of desire mixed in with their intent focus.
That’s…wow. Okay, I’m officially seeing things.
“Kane?” Jace prompts me when I don’t respond.
“I… Sorry, is this not weird for you guys?” I blurt. “I’ve slept with both of you. I’m still attracted to both of you. I don’t know how to sit here and pretend that’s okay.”
“Why wouldn’t that be okay?” Jace asks. “We’re attracted to you, too.” His voice is eerily steady. Unaffected by the impossibility of his words.
My eyelids flutter in rapid succession as I process his words. “I’m sorry, you’re what?”
A hint of pink creeps into Blake’s cheeks as he clears his throat. “We’re both into you. The fact that you’ve been with both of us doesn’t make either of us want you any less. ”
A rush of adrenaline floods my body. The notion that not one but both of these guys could still have an interest in me is a heady thought, one that relieves me from the doubt I felt when I realized the sordid little triangle we make.
Though, instead of making me jittery or excited, that adrenaline paralyzes me, pinning me to my seat.
“Shit,” Blake groans, shooting a nervous glance toward Jace as he runs a hand through his hair. “We’re fucking this up. I told you this was a bad idea.”
“Kane.” Jace takes my hand in both of his. “Are we making you uncomfortable?”
“I… I” Trying to swallow despite my dry throat, my gaze darts helplessly between them. “What are you fucking up?”
Jace’s warm smile is reassuring as he rubs his thumb over the back of my hand. “We’re coming on too strong. I’m sorry. It’s just that we know you’re still interested in both of us, and… we’re cool with that.”
I pull my hand back reflexively. “I can’t like both of you. That’s… It’s not… Someone would get hurt.” I’m sure there are at least a dozen other arguments to be made, but this one comes to mind first.
“People get hurt when there are secrets, but we’re not hiding the fact that we’re both attracted to you.” Jace’s voice is still calm. Meanwhile, my heart is ready to beat out of my chest.
“Great, so that’s not a secret. I still can’t pick between you.”
“He’s not asking you to pick,” Blake says as his cheeks flush even pinker. “He’s suggesting the three of us can… be together. Not you and I or you and him, all three.”
“Three?” The word feels weird on my tongue. “Huh?”
“Don’t choose between us, choose both.” Jace shrugs casually, as if the solution is obvious.
“Both. As in I take turns with…” My eyes bulge as they meet Jace’s serious gaze. “Together? At the same time together? ”
I should probably be repulsed by that, but I’m actually intrigued.
Two men at once? Who wouldn’t be curious about that—all those hands, and mouths, and…
other parts. Until right this second I didn’t realize I’d be into that, but there’s no denying that idea paints a slew of erotic images in my head.
Images I don’t think I’d mind re-enacting.
And if I’m going to indulge in that particular fantasy, I prefer to do it with two men I trust, both of whom I happen to be insanely attracted to.
No, wait. It’s one thing if it’s just sex, but I actually like these guys.
Blake is tender and sweet, an old soul in a young man’s body.
Jace is darker but no less deep, and makes me feel protected.
They each have qualities that draw me to them as people, and while sex with both of them was incredible, I’ve never thought of myself as a just sex person, and that’s all that’s on offer here, right?
Can I do that? Can I have just sex with two different people?
I suppose I’ve already done that, and it was really good, but I would’ve loved more if that was on the table. It wasn’t then, and I don’t think it is now, so I’m not sure…
Blake comes around the table to kneel before me, gently rubbing my knee.
“I was skeptical at first too, and if we didn’t all have this connection from before we all lived here, I probably wouldn’t be open to pursuing it now.
But I saw the way you looked at Jace the other day, and the way you look at me when you think I’m not paying attention.
I can tell you still want both of us. And I can tell Jace wants you as much as I do.
So, maybe the three of us being attracted to each other doesn’t have to be a bad thing. ”
“The way I see it.” Jace kneels next to Blake and puts his hand on my other knee. “This town is too small to avoid each other, and we’ll struggle to hang out together if we pretend this attraction doesn’t exist. So, let’s not ignore it. ”
Trapping my lips between my teeth, I mull over his words. “I see your point, but like you said, this is a small town. I’m not sure I want to be known as the guy sleeping with two guys right off the bat.”
“We don’t want that for you, either.” Blake’s mouth forms a thin line as he shakes his head back and forth.
“Actually, it’d be best if no one knows any of us are sleeping together, since he’s not out.” Jace tilts his head toward Blake.
How could I forget about that?
“Yeah, about that.” I turn to face Blake. “I figured since Carter’s gay and Axel’s dating Lennon this isn’t a place that frowns upon guys having sex with each other, but since you’re not out… Is there something I should be aware of?”
“No.” Blake’s shoulders slump a bit on a heavy sigh. “Coming out is something I never felt the need to do until recently, and I haven’t figured out how to approach it. Especially if—” he points to each of us in turn “—this were to get out.”
“This being, what?” I press for clarification.
“Whatever we want it to be,” Jace says. “Anything goes, as long as it stays inside these walls.”
“Especially since we work together,” Blake affirms.
“Speaking of work—” I squint at Blake “—why the sudden change of heart? Aren’t you still concerned about messing up our jobs?”
“I probably overreacted about that.” He gives my knee a gentle squeeze. “We may not know each other very well yet, but I get the sense you’re not the kind of person to let private things spill over into work.”
“I’m not, but you were right to be concerned about our careers. I don’t think they’d be in jeopardy, but I want this job same as you, which means we’ll be working together for the foreseeable future. Can we do that and… this ?” I shift my gaze from Blake to Jace .
“Honestly, I don’t know.” The corner of Blake’s mouth lifts a slight fraction before falling back to a straight line. “But like Jace said, the attraction is there, and I’m not sure I want to ignore it.”
“So, what do you think?” Jace asks.
My brain is screaming at me to say no, but my heart, at least I think that’s what it is, understands where they’re coming from.
Putting chemistry aside, I feel like I have a connection to each of them, and ignoring that—altogether or in favor of one of them—would make me just as miserable as choosing not to explore this, as unconventional as it may be.
And yeah, there’s maybe a little bit of take that Brian at play here, but only because I'm somehow desired by not one, but two men when he thought I wouldn’t be desirable by any . It boosts my fragile confidence. That makes me want to explore the role of the self-assured, daring man, and say yes.