19. Blake #4
As if he can hear my thoughts, Kane starts to shift, freeing Blake’s cock as he climbs off the bed and starts reaching for his clothes.
Blake tugs the condom off and heads to the bathroom, so I reluctant no ly get up and grab our boxers off the floor, tossing his to him as he comes back in the room.
We pull them on as Kane finishes dressing, and the moment his clothes are back in place I pull him to me, wrapping my arms around him so his head is pressed into the crook of my neck. “I hate that you’re leaving.” I kiss the top of his shoulder.
The second I drop my arms Blake takes Kane into his. “I hate it, too.”
“You know why I am.” Kane takes Blake’s hand in his and gives it a subtle squeeze. “Besides, we’ve all got work tomorrow.”
“What if we didn’t?” I ask. “Would you stay?”
Kane worries his bottom lip with his teeth. “Maybe.”
“This weekend?” I raise my eyebrows.
“We’ll see.” He drops Blake’s hand with a coy smile and leaves the room, the two of us trailing behind him to the front door. Kane gives us each a sweet, lingering kiss, then makes his way outside.
As the door clicks shut, I lift my eyes to Blake’s, bracing for what I might find. I’m expecting frustration or regret since I didn’t stop things from getting physical when I probably should’ve avoided that until coming clean about my feelings. Instead, all I see is acceptance.
“You aren’t upset with me?” My voice is barely more than a whisper.
“How could I be upset with you for feeling what I do?”
“You…”
Blake grabs the back of my head and brings our lips together in a bruising kiss.
“Of course, I do.” He rests his forehead against mine.
“You know I always assumed finding the one would dictate what I say about my lifestyle—did you honestly think I’d be living with you if I didn’t know you’re it for me? ”
“I mean… I hoped… Why didn’t you say anything?” Pulling back, I search his face for the clues I’m obviously missing as his hand drops to his side.
“I didn’t want to scare you.”
“Why would I be scared?”
“Because I fell for you the first night,” he says softly. “Seeing you again in Utah after I’d been thinking about you since the first time I saw you at Murphy’s… It felt sort of meant to be. And that’s not the sort of thing you admit right away. Then you showed up here and I knew.”
“Why not tell me sooner? I’m not mad,” I rush to clarify, “just confused.”
He puts his hand over my heart, rubbing gentle circles over my pec with his thumb. “I think I wanted to make sure you felt the same way first.”
“I do.” I clasp his hand in mine, holding it against my chest. “I think it was there all along and I was afraid to trust it since it happened so fast, but I’m not worried about that anymore. I love you.”
“And Kane? Do you love him too?”
“I’m pretty sure you know I do.”
“Me, too.” Blake drops his head to my shoulder. “Are we fucked? Being in love with someone who doesn’t know we love each other?”
“I refuse to believe that.” I lift his head off me and cup his face in my hands so he can see the truth in my eyes. “Him being here, with us, is meant to be, just like you and I are.”
A look of panic ghosts across Blake’s face.
“Do you think he’ll believe that? I mean, I believe it, but do you think he will?
Considering…” Blake draws a line between the two of us.
“I know we need to tell him how we feel, but do we start with that, or confess the two of us are already together? I don’t want to scare him away. ”
“One day at a time, remember?” I kiss Blake’s forehead. “And if it makes you feel better, we can tell him about us before we tell him we love him.”
“You mean tell him we’re not just roommates?” Blake lets out a shaky breath.
“Knowing the two of us are together might open the door for him to consider that this can be more than sex, for all of us.”
“Okay.” Blake sucks in a lungful of air. “Dammit, I’m scared. I want this to work so bad.”
“It will.” I lean in to give him a reassuring kiss. “I love you, Blake.”
“I love you, too.” Those four little words give me hope that the life I dreamed of is about to become reality.
Kane
Liz’s name flashes on the display, bringing a smile to my face as I hit accept . “Hey sis. How are my little nephews doing?”
Charlie and Henry are two and four, and after they had to move to Arizona for my brother-in-law’s job I haven’t seen much of them.
Had they stayed in Utah I might not have taken a job in Katah Vista, even if it was the right career move.
Them being gone was just one more reason for me to try something new, too.
“They’re doing great. They miss their uncle.”
“I miss them. So, are you boiling in the desert sun?” My sister is neither a tomboy nor an outdoor lover, but with two little boys she can’t escape playtime outside. I never get tired of teasing her about that .
“I actually took them to an indoor pool the other day, thank you very much.”
“It’s August for you too, right? You didn’t go through some sort of time portal or something when you crossed the border, because if I remember correctly, August is summer. No indoor pools allowed.”
“When it’s seventy-five degrees indoors and well over a hundred outdoors, you’d stay inside, too. Besides, you’ll probably get snow in the next few weeks, and when you do, you’ll be begging to come down here and borrow my sunshine.”
I roll my eyes even though she’s right. “I just might take you up on that. So, have you met any more people down there?”
“I signed Henry up for preschool, so I’m sure I’ll meet some other moms soon. What about you?”
A smile tugs at my mouth as I recall the concert a few nights back.
Not only did I meet some really nice guys, and a girl, they’ve already invited me to their business owner’s brunch this weekend.
Even though I’m not technically a business owner, being in charge of the bike park must count in their eyes.
“Actually, yes. There’s a group of guys here that seem pretty nice, and they like biking. Or they’re willing to try, anyway.”
“Sounds like you found your people.” I hear the joy in Liz’s voice, and I have to swallow down the lump it makes in my throat.
Only Liz knows the extent of my loneliness in Utah, and how I struggled to find people there.
I clung to Brian pretty hard after our parents died in a car wreck, and my friendships suffered because of it.
It didn’t help that I buried myself in work, establishing myself as the person Jackson could rely on.
It was amazing for my career but the kiss of death for my social life.
By the time I picked my head up from the bike trail and realized Brian was cheating on me, most of my friends had moved away or moved on.
So, I did what was familiar. More work .
Looking back, I can’t say I regret anything. Those choices paved the way for this job, and I’m grateful to have it. But I’ve also learned that no matter how much I love my job I have to balance living with working, and finding people I can relate to is a great start.
“It’s early still, but yeah. I can see myself being happy here.”
“So, you’ve met some guys. Any that might be boyfriend material?” The silence tells me she’s holding her breath, waiting for my response.
I should’ve been expecting this question. Liz has been wanting me to get back out there for months, not because she thinks I need a man but because she doesn’t want me to be afraid of them. I sort of figured she’d give me more time to get settled before bringing guys up, though.
Guys . It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell her yes, I’ve met some. But I can’t get the words out.
“You have met someone.” I hear the sly smile in her voice.
“I didn’t say that.”
“Your silence says it all.”
“Hardly,” I mutter under my breath as my mind wanders to two sexy faces.
“What was that?” I swear the woman has bionic ears. “You know I’ll drive to Katah Vista so you can tell me in person if you don’t tell me now. Who is he?”
I puff out my cheeks and exhale slowly, stalling to brace for her reaction. “Remember how I hooked up with a guy right before I got this job offer?”
“Omigosh. The sandy-haired one that was super-hot without any ego?”
“That’s the one. Blake.” At least she recalled the lack of ego detail. It’ll make him sound better when she hears the full story.
“You hooked up with him again?” Her voice rises several octaves as her excitement mounts .
“Turns out he lives here. And works at the mountain. He was in Utah to meet with Jackson, and I missed that meeting since I was on my way back from visiting you. I just happened to run into him that night and, well, the rest you know.”
“Holy wow! So, you reconnected? That’s amazing. I remember you telling me what a good guy he is, sort of like that one you met right after you broke up with Brian. What was his name? Jason? Josh? Something with a J.”
“Jace. Yeah. So, funny story. Jace lives here, too.” My palms are suddenly sweaty, and I trap the phone between my ear and my shoulder so I can wipe them on my shorts.
“Get out! I thought he traveled for his job or something.”
“He does. Or did. Now, he lives here. With Blake. They’re roommates.” I swear my heart is about to beat out of my chest. I’ve never felt so anxious in my life. Not even the first time I slept with both the guys. That was a breeze compared to this.
“Oh crap.” Liz sucks in a breath. “What are the odds the only two men you’ve had an interest in since Brian are roommates? Do they know you hooked up with both of them?”
“Yeah… They know.”
“Is that awkward?” Her voice is tinged with concern.
“Not as awkward as you’d think.”
“So, wait. Which one did you reconnect with?”
I wring my hands together, gathering courage. “Both,” I squeak.
The line goes dead silent.
“Oh honey, oh no. You can’t do that. They live together, it’s going to come out that you’ve been with them both. Again. You don’t want to be stuck in the middle of two friends.”
“I’m not going behind anyone’s back. ”