19. Blake #8
“You’re right, you know.” A smile plays on his lips. “This is going to work out.”
“What makes you say that?” Since I’m usually the one trying to convince him of that, I’m curious where this optimism is coming from.
“He’s falling in love with us.” Blake’s fingers trace the outline of my pec from underneath my palm.
“How can you tell?”
“His eyes. The way they focus on us when we’re together. ”
As the guy who makes a living watching people through a lens, I’m used to spotting these things myself, and I hadn’t noticed.
“You mean while we’re having sex?”
He shakes his head slightly. “That’s not the only time, but that’s how I noticed it. He looks at you the same way you look at me. The same way I’m pretty sure I look at both of you…” he trails off.
“What are you saying?” I squeeze his hand.
“I’m in. I mean out. No more secrets or half-truths. I want a life with you. Both of you. I want to tell him I love you. And I love him.”
“You aren’t afraid he isn’t ready to hear that?”
“After last night…” Blake shakes his head firmly. “No.”
“You’re good with all of it, then? Not just admitting you’re gay but telling people you’re dating two men. Are you ready for that?”
“Are you?” he asks defensively.
“I didn’t grow up here. I don’t have roots here. You do.” I brush a wayward lock of hair away from his face. “You know I’m all in, but people here don’t know me from anyone. It won’t bother me if they don’t approve of my lifestyle.”
“Sorry.” Blake exhales heavily. “I didn’t mean to get defensive. It’s just that I am ready. And yeah, I know it’s possible that some people will take issue with it, and of course that’ll hurt. But not as much as missing out on a life with you and Kane. I love you.”
Up until the other day, no one had said that to me before. Now that I’ve heard it, I'm not sure I’ll ever get tired of it.
“I love you, too.”
Leaning forward, I press my lips to Blake’s, a soft, gentle confirmation that my life is bound to his from here forward. It’s not enough.
We’ve only been together, alone, a handful of times since Kane came into the picture, and while I wouldn’t trade our time with him for anything, the truth is I’m holding back a little when Kane is around.
I know the goal is to love each other freely and do what feels right in the moment—hell that was my idea—and I think once everything is out in the open that will happen.
But since it’s not, I’ve been conscious of not focusing too much on Blake, and I can’t deny that I’ve missed being able to taste himfreely.
Tilting my head to the side I coax his lips apart, straining to get our mouths as close as possible.
“More,” he groans into me.
Scooting closer, I press our dicks together and wrap my hand around them, stroking rhythmically as our tongues wrestle for dominance. It’s not rough, though not gentle either. His morning shadow scrapes across my skin as his needy lips devour mine, which sets my body on fire.
Breaking away, I rub my jaw against his. “I love the way your stubble feels on my skin.”
“I love the way your cock feels next to mine,” he growls.
“Me, too.” I contract my hand as I slide it over us. “Need you, Blake. I need to be inside you.”
He rolls away and retrieves the lube from the nightstand, tossing it to me as he positions himself on his hands and knees.
“Condom,” I grunt as my slippery fingers play with his hole.
“We used them all last night.” He looks at me over his shoulder. “And I want you bare.”
The air gets sucked out of my lungs as my hand stills against his opening, the magnitude of his words seeping into my soul.
“On your back,” I say softly, pulling away to give him room to flip over. “I want to see you while I’m inside you.”
Our eyes meet and lock, an unspoken promise passing between us. Then he shifts so he’s lying on his back, pulling his knees to his chest as he opens himself to me .
Though we’ve done this before—not just sex but sex in this position—there’s something symbolic about it today.
He’s opening himself to me completely, physically and emotionally, which makes this moment more meaningful than any of the other times we’ve come together.
This is the start of a new chapter for both of us.
One he’s willingly embracing after years of hesitation and uncertainty, and I love him for it.
Coating my dick with the lube I press gently forward, holding my breath until I’m fully seated. When we’re joined completely, I find Blake’s eyes and exhale as I start to thrust, holding his gaze in mine.
The slide of his skin on mine, the pressure of his walls contracting around me is the most delicious friction, begging me to move faster. Harder. But I want to savor this. Savor him.
Leaning forward I pin his arms to the bed above him, linking our fingers together. Face to face, lips mere inches apart, I plead. “Tell me again.”
“I love you.”
“Again.” I thrust, slow and deep.
“I love you.”
A loud gasp has both our heads turning toward the door to find Kane, mouth hanging open, wide eyes glued to our naked bodies. Our joined naked bodies.
I never understood the expression ‘time stands still’ until this moment, where it does in fact seem to freeze as we all process what we’re seeing. Then Kane’s jaw starts to move, his voice only coming out after several false starts.
“My… I forgot my…” He blinks and spins around, disappearing from sight.
Searing hot pain ripples through my chest and settles in my gut, like a knife ripping out my soul and leaving me just a hollow shel l.
Fuck ! Without taking a moment to question my actions I pull out of Blake and race after him.
“Wait,” I cry. “Kane, wait.”
“Sorry. I’m sorry.” He races toward the door. “I shouldn’t have come in without knocking.”
Catching him by the arm I spin him around to face me. “You belong here. You don’t have to knock.”
He gives me a once over, gesturing to my still hard cock. “Clearly, that’s not true.”
Blake comes running into the room clad only in his boxers, holding a pair out to me. Instead of taking them, I wrap both hands around Kane’s arms. Pulse throbbing in my chest, I strain to keep my voice level. “It is true, sweetheart. You belong right here. With us.”
He lifts his arm at the elbow, trying to point to Blake. “He just said he loves you. That’s a pretty clear sign that I... Oh wow.” He blinks rapidly, eyes darting between us. “How did I not see this before?”
“See what?” Blake’s sun-kissed skin looks pasty, his body so still I almost wonder if he’s breathing.
“You live together. We never go into Jace’s room because…” He gapes at me. “I just thought… Oh God, it’s yours. Both of yours. You two are together, and I’m just…” He spins away from my grasp and throws open the front door.
“That’s not what this is,” I call after him.
Blake snaps out of his stupor, barreling outside behind him with me hot on his heels. “You don’t understand, let us explain.”
“Please, Kane,” I plead. “You’ve got the wrong idea. Come back inside.”
“What did I get wrong?” He spins to face us so fast I crash into Blake when he stops short. “Are you two not together?”
Blake’s eyes dart to mine. “We are, but… ”
A shrill cry cuts him off, and the three of us look to the street to find an older couple walking their dog, staring at us with jaws hanging open.
“Hi Jim. Hey Teri.” Blake waves awkwardly. Stunned, I start to mimic him, but a piercing pain in my side stops me from lifting my arm. I cut a glare toward Blake, whose lips are set in a firm line as he jerks his head to the front door.
“What?” I hiss.
His eyes drop down, and when I follow his gaze realization hits.
I’m still naked, my half-hard dick pointing lamely toward Kane from where I stand on the front lawn.
Given the scandalized look on his neighbors’ faces, I should probably go back inside or at least make some effort to cover my junk.
I doubt that would save any of us from being the talk of the town at this point though.
Screw it. These two are more important than my dignity.
“Kane, please.” I try again as the couple staggers away, darting glances over their shoulders as they go. “You don’t know the whole story. Come inside so we can explain.”
He gives a subtle but firm shake of his head as a lone tear slides down his face, and my heart fractures inside my chest. “I know I’m the third wheel, that’s all the explanation I need.
I’m late.” He stalks to his car and locks himself inside, backing out in a rush as Blake and I watch in pained silence.
Please let this be a bad dream.
As Kane’s car disappears around the corner, my hope plummets. Deflated, I head inside and grab the boxers from where Blake dropped them on the floor. By the time he joins me on the couch, I’m decent, but nowhere near okay.
“Go ahead, say it,” I tell him as he collapses against the cushions.
“Say what?”
“This is my fault. It was my idea to downplay what we have so Kane wouldn’t feel like an outsider, and now that’s exactly how he sees himself.”
“It may have been your idea, but I went along with it.” Blake’s eyes fall shut as he sighs heavily.
“You didn’t want to though. You only did it because I insisted it would make him feel more comfortable in the long run.”
“Doesn’t matter.” Blake’s head rolls from side to side without ever lifting it off the cushion. “I still agreed to it so I’m just as much at fault. Besides, I know your intentions were good, and there’s no way we could’ve predicted what just happened.”
“I don’t think my intentions matter at this point.”
“It’s futile to think maybe he’ll come back, isn’t it?” Blake asks softly.
“I don’t know.” I rub my hand over my face, as if that might hold my head together. “Kane seems determined to believe he’s some sort of side piece. Fuck !” I pound my fist against the cushion. “That couldn’t have gone any worse.”
“Actually—“ he exhales heavily “—it can get worse. It probably already is.”
“What? How?”