Chapter 22
Holden
“ S o… You’re still Daddy, huh?”
Breaking the silence left behind by the girls shutting the door behind them, Ice cocked a brow in Holden’s direction. All of the other Doms shifted to face him as well, clearly waiting for an answer.
“Yes. It’s what she needs.”
“Oh for fuck’s sake!” Popping off the couch, Cordelia tossed her hands in the air, aggravation pumping off her in waves. “I thought we talked about this. What about what you need?”
“This is what I need, Cordelia.” Years of training, both in the military and out, helped him keep his own temper in check in the face of her anger. “I’m a Daddy. I can’t just turn that part of me off, not when the woman I love is hurting.”
At that, Cordelia stopped pacing, her arms falling by her side and her eyes narrowing. “You love her.”
“I do. And I’ve told her that. I’m just waiting for her to realize she loves me, too.”
“And while you wait, you’re breaking your own damn heart over and over. Why are you so determined to be a fucking martyr here, Holden?”
“I’m not. We put some boundaries in place. Right now our relationship is strictly platonic and mostly discipline based. Because she needs me, and I need to be there for her.”
Sighing, Cordelia scrubbed a hand over her face. “I guess I get that. Even when Ivy and I were just friends, I wouldn't have been able to turn her away if she’d needed me like that. I just worry about you, GSFD.”
Now it was his turn to narrow his eyes. “GSFD?”
“Oh, you haven’t heard that one before?” Cordelia grinned, baring her teeth, and if Holden had even an ounce of submissive in him, he was sure he would have shivered at the sight. “Giant Silver Fox Daddy. Silver’s nickname for you.”
Beside him, Ice dissolved into laughter. “Goddamn my girl is clever.” When Holden turned to glare at him, Ice rolled his eyes. “Come on, you can’t deny it fits you.”
Maybe he couldn’t, but it didn’t mean he was a fan. “I swear if I hear any of you referring to me that way…”
Cordelia just raised a brow. “Keep threatening me and I’ll make sure the nickname catches on with all the submissives at the club.”
“I’ve heard it said Doms are the biggest brats but I never believed it until I met you,” he grumbled, shooting her a good-natured glare. Despite her misgivings about the Frankie situation, it felt good to be on solid ground again with Cordelia, at least for now. He was under no delusions that she would keep her opinions to herself if any further issues arose.
“Now that we’ve all had a good laugh,” Braden drawled from his corner of the living room. “Are you sure you’re good with this setup you have with Frankie? It’s not going to be easy, living with the woman you love and keeping things… platonic. ”
“No, it’s not,” he admitted with a shrug. “But as Cordelia so helpfully pointed out the other night, I need to know she’s with me because she wants to be, not just because I was the best option available to her when she hit rock-bottom. She needs to know that’s why she’s with me. And to do that, I need to give her some space. The rules we have are strictly for her protection and safety.”
“How’s she feeling about the change?” Beckett asked.
“So far, she’s taken it in stride. I’ve told her pretty much the same things I’ve told all of you and she seems to understand I need to put this distance between us, at least for now.”
“Does this mean you’re going to let her play with other Doms at the club now?”
Beckett’s question was like a punch in the gut, one Holden had to breathe through before he could answer. “If she wants to, yes.”
That answer earned him another round of raised eyebrows, along with a low whistle from Ice.
“You’re a better man than me. I lost my shit when Silver put herself in that auction. No way could I handle seeing anyone else touch what’s mine.” The corner of his mouth kicked up in a smirk as he shared a look with Beckett. “Well. Unless I gave them permission to play with my toy, of course.”
“I’m not expecting it to be easy. But if she’s going to know for sure that she wants me and not just the protection and comfort I provide her, then I need to give her space to explore. And if that means letting her finally experience what it’s like with another Daddy, well, I guess that’s what I’ll do.”
Before any of the others could voice their concerns, the back door opened again and the submissive half of their group stepped inside. Lottie had her arm looped around Frankie’s waist, and even from a distance he could see the red rim around his babygirl’s eyes.
Not caring that the others were watching, judging, he jumped off the couch, blocking her from everyone’s sight with his body.
Being the Giant Silver Fox Daddy had some benefits.
“What’s wrong, little siren?”
“Nothing. Everything,” she amended with a shaky laugh. “But I don’t really want to talk about it right now. Is that okay?”
It killed him to see her hurting but he wasn’t going to push the issue. Not here, in front of everyone. “Of course.”
“Thanks. I promise I’ll talk to you when I’m feeling a bit steadier.” The corners of her lips twitched. “And when we don't have quite such a large audience.”
“Fair enough,” he said with a low chuckle. “Our friends are a nosy bunch.”
“The nosiest. But they mean well.”
“Uh-huh. Do you want to come sit, or do you need a few minutes?”
“No, I’m good.”
He wasn’t quite sure he believed that, but again he didn’t want to push her too hard with everyone watching. So he nodded and turned to head back to the couch. Everything in him longed to pull her down onto his lap, but he forced himself not to reach for her as she settled on the floor beside him.
“So… how about those Yankees?” Ice said, breaking the silent tension that had settled over the room as everyone burst into laughter. The heaviness around the room lifted, and the conversation finally moved on to lighter, happier topics.
But when Lottie began regaling the room with a story about a disastrous meeting she'd had with a potential wedding cake baker earlier that afternoon, Holden frowned.
“Wait. I thought you took Frankie to her therapy appointment.”
“What?” Lottie’s brows drew together in confusion, but only for a moment before she waved a hand and let out a breezy laugh. “Oh, yeah, I did. This was before that. I only have one day off from the club this week because we have a couple people out sick so I had to cram a lot into my day.”
Behind her, Braden narrowed his eyes but didn’t say anything, and the hairs on the back of Holden’s neck stood up.
Something was up. But before he could press Lottie on her whereabouts, the conversation shifted again.
“Speaking of the club, are we going to do anything about those weirdos out front?” Ruby made a show of shivering, and Beckett pulled her closer, rubbing his hands down her arms as he pressed a kiss to her hair. “Last night when I was walking in with Tara, they started yelling stuff at me. It's starting to really freak me out.”
“You should use the service entrance,” Ivy said, glancing up at Cordelia who was perched on the arm of the chair Ivy had sunk into. “That’s what Dee and I do. We never even see them because it’s on the other side of the building and there’s some street parking available there so it’s not even much of a walk.”
“Ugh, I know, but the door sticks and it’s such a pain in the ass to get from that entrance to where we clock in.”
“Ruby Red, are you telling me you knew there was another entrance you could have been using this whole time and you’ve been avoiding it because it’s slightly inconvenient ?”
There was no mistaking the ripple of anger beneath Beckett’s words. And judging by the way Ruby’s cheeks paled, she didn’t miss it, either. “I’ve been using the buddy system at night like Braden told us to. You can’t punish me for following directions.”
“I have no intention of punishing you, baby.” A wolfish smile curved Beckett’s lips. “But you and I are going to have a very long talk tonight about being more proactive with your safety. And from now on, you will be using the service entrance when you aren’t with me. Am I understood?”
“Yes, Daddy,” Ruby mumbled, her cheeks blazing with embarrassment.
“If they’re getting bolder, then I think it’s a good idea for all of the staff to be using that entrance.” Mouth turned down in a fierce frown, Braden tapped his fingers rapid-fire against his thigh. “I’ll send an email in the morning letting everyone know and I’ll move the computer the staff uses for clocking in so it’s more convenient. Not sure why I didn’t think of that before.”
Cordelia rolled her eyes. “Big bad Daddy B didn’t think of everything ? What is the world coming to?”
“Hush, Cordelia.”
“Aw, but it’s so much fun to tease you.” She raised her glass as if toasting him before taking a long pull of the dark wine.
“Dommes really are the biggest brats,” Braden grumbled, shaking his head before his gaze zeroed in on Holden. “What about you? Any news on our… fan club?”
“Actually, yes. We’ve got an operative working his way into the group. He’s been talking to one of the girls and he managed to get a name out of her.”
Everyone seemed to sit up straighter at that. “What kind of name?” Braden asked, his voice snapping with authority.
“The Prophets of the Sacred Truth. Far as I can tell, they’re?—”
His explanation was cut off by the sound of shattering glass. Jerking his head around, he watched, seemingly in slow motion as every ounce of color drained from Cordelia’s cheeks.
Without even thinking, he was up out of his seat, reaching for her as she swayed dangerously. Cordelia jerked away, eyes wild as she stumbled backward.
“Don’t touch me!”
What the fuck was happening?
“Dee?” Worry rang out in Ivy’s tone as she rose slowly to her feet. “Dee, what’s wrong?”
“Ivy.” Her name was something between a gasp and a sob as Cordelia reached for her girl. “Ivy.”
“I’m right here. I’m right here, Dee. Baby. Breathe for me. Can you do that? One deep breath in, that’s all I need.” Ivy’s voice was calm, far steadier than Holden felt.
“Can’t.” Gripping Ivy’s arms, Cordelia shook her head, wild, jerky movements that sent her blonde ponytail flying. “Can’t breathe. Ivy.”
“Hey. Hey. I’m right here.” Placing one hand on Cordelia’s chest, Ivy grabbed one of Cordelia’s hands and placed it on her own, dragging in a deep breath as she kept her eyes locked on her woman’s. “Breathe with me, baby. In through your nose, like this.”
This time, Cordelia did as she was told, dragging in air, timing her breaths with Ivy’s while the rest of them watched on in stunned helplessness.
“Perfect. Okay, hold that breath, four, three, two, one. Now exhale, four, three, two, one.”
They went through four more breaths just like that, locked together with Ivy counting, before the color crept back into Cordelia’s cheeks. When her breathing finally evened out, losing that ragged, desperate quality, she turned to Holden. And he knew as long as he lived he’d never forget that haunted, hunted look in her eyes.
“You can’t let them find me, Holden. Whatever you fucking do, you can’t let them find me.”