Chapter 42
FINLEY
Never in my life have I seen so many different samples of fabric, paint, wood varnish, and every other finish you can imagine. I’m certain that when I walk back into Elijah’s apartment, I’m going to see it in a completely new light than when I left this morning.
“I have some more coming next week for the summer collections. It’s going to be mostly fabrics, and I have a couple new suppliers that work with some popular European brands.
There’s an Italian one that has this whole fresh lemony yellows and vibrant blues collection I’m dying to get my hands on.
” Summer pauses, her nose wrinkling while I look at her completely awed by her passion.
When I arrived this morning, I was bleary eyed and exhausted from tossing and turning all night. Overthinking Jayden’s kiss and Elijah’s openness with us yesterday.
Something’s shifted with him, and I can’t put my finger on it. Since his migraine episode, he’s lowered his walls a tad.
Still, I can’t help going back to our conversation before Thanksgiving when he told me that Jayden is the better man.
I agree that he is an amazing man, but for all his brilliant qualities, I do not think that he is better than Elijah.
Not one bit.
“I know this is a lot to take in... Probably doesn’t help that I haven’t stopped to take a breath...” Summer drops into her desk chair, hugging her cute bump. “It’s so nice having another person here. It’s usually just me and Dex.”
At the mention of his name, her dog meanders over with a yawn. Placing his head in her lap, he noses her belly. It might be the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.
“He’s as bad as his daddy with the bump fussing,” she groans, but her tone and facial expression are amused rather than annoyed. While she continues stroking Dex’s head, she asks, “How's Eli doing? Christina said you couldn’t make it to taco night because he’s still recovering.”
“I’m sorry, I couldn’t bring myself to leave him. Jayden was away with the team, and it was the first game he missed... I couldn’t leave him on his own.”
Not to mention that the last thing he needed was the stress of me being out in LA with all the weird stalkery crap that’s going on. The thought of it has me reaching into my jeans’ pocket for the Air Tag I slipped in there before I left the apartment.
It’s weird how something so small gave me the ease I needed to leave home on my own and feel relatively safe.
“It sounds weird, I know, but I’ve started watching the hockey with Parker lately. I don’t know how you survive watching your man getting hit and—uuuugh,” she says with a shudder.
“It’s what they train for,” I say. “And they have pads…”
Not that it stops them from getting hurt. That bruise Jayden brought home the other night was bad. And I know that he was putting on all his macho bravado when I was taking care of him, but even so, I could feel him bunch up under my touch.
“You’re a braver woman than I am,” Summer croons as the bell above the door rings.
I all but jump out of my skin at the sound, until Christina waltzes in with a drink tray in hand.
“Afternoon, ladies!” Pausing, she puts the drinks down on the desk Summer assigned me, followed by her large, heavy-looking purse. “Why is it so quiet in here?”
“It was until you walked in,” Summer teases as Dex jumps Christina.
“It’s cause I’m fun. Yes, I am,” she coos at the dog. “And I brought your fave puppucino. Vanilla with doggy pumpkin spice. Yummy-yum...”
“You spoil him,” Summer chuckles while Christina feeds Dex the whipped cream with dehydrated pumpkin pieces on top.
“Don’t get jealous, I got you an orange and ginger juice and Goldfish crackers.” Looking at me, she beams, “I got us something to celebrate when we go back to your place.”
Checking the time, Summer sighs. “I need to leave to meet with a new client. They just bought a beach house in Malibu, right on the water.”
Opening up the portfolio with the samples, she shows us the photos of the space.
“Wow, that’s so pretty and airy...”
“Right?”
“How the other half live...” Christina hums. “I might trade my soul to wake up to that view every morning.”
“It is special,” Summer says. “And they’re an older couple, widowers.
.. get this, they grew up in the same town, but then his family moved away and they lost contact.
She ended up marrying his best friend and he married another woman.
They had kids, and her son and his daughter met in college.
.. they reconnected, and by then his wife had passed, her husband was terminally sick—”
“Sounds...” Christina starts.
“Don’t be mean. I think it’s cute and so wonderful that they found their way back to each other.”
“After their spouses died.”
“It’s not like they killed them.”
“Ooo... that would make the best true crime story.”
“There’s something seriously wrong with you,” Summer tells her, packing up the portfolio along with her laptop into her purse. “So anyway, forty years after they lost contact, they got married and now they’re settling down together. I think it’s romantic.”
“It is,” I agree, ignoring the yucky face Christina pulls.
Once I’ve booked an Uber and gathered my things, Christina and I head out.
I can tell there’s something up when we get in the car and she’s silent. Silence and Christina don’t go together. Unless there’s something bothering her. I’m about to ask when my phone vibrates with a message.
Jayden
Let me know when you’re home. X
I can’t stop myself from smiling at the kiss. A warm buzz tingles across my lips at the memory of it. The same way it does when I remember Elijah’s kisses.
And as though my thoughts are connected to him, my phone vibrates with his name lighting up my screen above the photo I took of him sleeping on the couch recently.
“Hey you,” I answer.
“Hey, sweet girl,” he replies, his voice tender. I haven’t seen him since he went to bed last night, and I was worried he’d be awkward today. He’s not. Or at least he doesn’t sound it. “How was your first day?”
“It was good and full-on at times. I mean, I don’t know anything about interior design, so...”
“You enjoyed it. That’s what matters.”
“Yeah, I guess.” Silence stretches for a beat as I wait for him to say something, when he doesn’t, I ask, “How was the biofeedback session?”
Elijah doesn’t reply, he continues silent, and my blood pressure is going through the roof.
Today is important for him. It’s the first day of him teaching his body new ways of dealing with stress.
I swear I’m getting dizzier by the second, and if I keep holding my breath waiting for him to talk, I’m going to pass out.
“You left early,” I say.
“I wanted to drop by Dr. Armstrong’s office before my training session.” The quiet tone of his voice is morose, and it instantly sets off alarm bells in my head.
What if last night was too much for him? What if I’ve made him worse... triggered another episode?
Oh my God.
“You had to see the doctor? Why? Is your head hurting?”
“Relax, Fin. Dr. Armstrong’s the team’s psychologist.”
“Oh…”
“Coach asked me to set up a meeting with her after—” He drags in a deep breath. “—the fight with Presley.”
My insides lurch at the mention of my brother.
“I thought that...” When Christina shuffles beside me, I pause. Lowering my voice, I add, “Last night might have been too much. Triggered something...”
“Finley-James, last night was not the problem,” he states with a rough sigh.
“Really? You’re not even a little bit mad?”
“No, I’m not mad.”
“Oh.”
“Do you want me to be mad?”
“No.” That would mean he’d be at odds with Jayden, and I don’t want that. I don’t want to come between them. Ever.
“I lost my shit yesterday when you and JJ were just looking out for me. It can’t happen again. You deserve better. Both of you.”
“Elijah…”
“I really am sorry about yesterday.”
I don’t know where my sudden bravery comes from, but I ask, “Which part?”
The line is silent barring his shallow breaths crackling for a second or two, before he tells me, “The part where I yelled at you.”
“And the rest?” I croak out the words.
“The rest...”
“I know you said you’re not mad, but are you sorry for it?”
“You mean do I regret it?”
“Yes.”
It feels like my entire life is hanging in the balance until he tells me, “No. I don’t want you to regret it either.”
“Okay.”
“Okay...” Elijah’s chuckles. “I told you before. I’ll give you anything you want and need.” There’s a pause before he says, “And you need JJ.”
“Elijah—”
“Don’t feel guilty, Fin. You deserve to be happy... he deserves to be happy. And last night, watching the two of you together, it felt good. Like I could breathe again. It’s been a while since I’ve really been able to do that.”
“Oh,” is all I can say as my emotions clog my throat.
He’s telling me he needs to compartmentalize his emotions but from what he’s told me just now, he’s been doing it for too long. And I didn’t even know. How could I not know that’s how he felt? Like he couldn’t breathe?
I’m sure he’s about to end the call when he asks, “Do you want to come to the game tonight? You can bring Christina...”
His voice has a hopeful pitch to it that makes me smile.
Before I can reply, he adds, “I think Jayden would like to have you there. You know, with you being his lucky charm and all…”
Oh my gosh, I can hear his eyes rolling through the line.
“What about you? Do you want me there?”
“I’m not playing, but yeah, I want you to come, and then we can go to Matheo’s birthday party. It’s being hosted at the arena’s VIP lounge, and all the guys are going with their wives and girlfriends.”
“That would be nice.”
“Good,” he replies quickly. “It’s a date then.”
“It’s a date,” I echo in a whisper, more to myself because I’m surprised as heck right now.
When I woke up this morning, I was anxious at the thought that yesterday complicated things more than they already were. That I was getting between him and Jayden. Worse, that I was hurting the man who taught me to love against all odds.