Chapter 27Asher
Asher
The sun roasted the four of us as we relaxed on a large cream-colored blanket laid out in the grass behind Sue’s cabin. There was complete silence except for the lulling current of the lake. Every once in a while, I’d almost doze off, only to be awakened by the creaking of the dock.
It was pure bliss.
“Asher! Theo!”
I shot up on the blanket and turned toward the direction the voice came from. Quincy approached in a rainbow tank top, a bright blue bathing suit, and a pair of flip flops, holding a cooler.
I’d originally just wanted to call Quincy to let him know we were alright, but Cody and Rafael suggested we invite him to the cabin for a little visit, which led to him insisting that I tell Theo he was gay.
Theo’s reaction was priceless. “Thank God I’m starting now. Seeing you two play together without me would have made me burst a blood vessel.”
I was so happy to see Quincy. It had only been a couple of days since we arrived at the cabin, yet the distance and remoteness of the place made everything feel forgotten. Seeing Quincy reminded me that I did actually play hockey and that not everyone who plays the sport hates me.
“Hey!” I ran over to him and gave him a hug. “It’s so good to see you. Was the drive okay?”
“Perfect!” Quincy still had his radiant smile, and it warmed my heart to see his happy face again.
Theo walked over and hugged Quincy while saying, “You’re the sweetest for checking in on us, man. Sorry, we didn’t respond. We’ve been ignoring our phones.”
“That is definitely a wise decision,” Quincy replied.
I couldn’t help but notice his tone when he said it. There was a gravity to the statement, and it made me wonder just how insane things really were online.
We introduced Rafael and Cody to Quincy. The three of them shared typical hockey pleasantries, discussing PCSHL, college hockey, past traveling leagues, and so on, before we all fell to the blanket.
“I brought some sodas and seltzers,” Quincy said as he pulled off his tank, then opened the lid of the cooler. He’d offered to bring booze, but I told him not to since Rafael was sober.
“I’ll take one,” Cody replied.
“Same. Thanks,” Rafael added.
“Think fast, queers!” Quincy started tossing cans to all of us in rapid fire before grabbing a seltzer, quickly shaking it, then squirting Theo and me. “To the most infamous couple in the NCAA,” he screamed as he drenched us.
Theo rose to his feet and started chasing him, “I’m gonna get you, Quincy! ”
The two of them ran about the yard, Quincy cackling as he dodged Theo’s attempts to catch him. Theo finally grabbed him and pulled him into a headlock for noogies, “Ow! No! No noogies!”
My laughter echoed off the trees surrounding us. Theo and Quincy were hilarious together. It was like an ogre with his almost mini-me. Quincy had dark hair and a tan complexion, similar to Theo, but Theo was massive compared to Quincy. They were like an old vaudeville comedy act.
Rafael and Cody were dying, too. Eventually, Theo released Quincy, and the two of them made their way back to the blanket.
“Sorry, boys,” Quincy said. “ I haven’t seen you two since it all went down. I wanted to ease the tension.”
“I think it worked,” Rafael replied.
“How’d the game go?” I was afraid to ask, but I couldn’t help it. I had to know what was going on with the team.
Quincy released a devilish smirk. “That’s why I was so happy you called me when you did.
I get to tell you how badly Mason bombed during our last game.
” Theo and I had already missed a game, and I assumed Mason would be taking my place.
I’m sure that was the goal of snapping the picture of us, after all.
“Coach actually benched him after the second period. He’s solidly second string, and once you get back, Asher,” Quincy tsked while shaking his head, “he’ll barely touch ice.
Not to mention our defense is in dire need of Theo.
We lost the game 2-0. It was honestly the worst we’ve ever played, and it made me so happy.
” Quincy held up his hands in a placating manner.
“I know that’s fucked up to say, but after what happened to you both, our team needs to get knocked down a peg or two.
If they thought they could win the championship without you guys, they were very much mistaken. ”
I felt like a total tool, but my whole chest puffed up when Quincy said that.
It’s not that I wanted the Warriors to do poorly—well, I wanted Mason to do poorly, but that’s besides the point.
It was just nice to know that our absence was felt.
It gave me hope that maybe the team could look past whatever hangups they had about Theo and me.
Quincy continued, “I overheard Mason talking about how scouts won’t touch you with a ten-foot pole now that the scandal is public, but I think he’s wrong. You guys are phenomenal on the ice, and I really doubt they’ll be talking to him at all if he keeps playing like that.”
“Asher and Theo will be fine,” Rafael interjected, “All it takes is a killer rest of the season, and you boys are solid. Teams want talent, and you’ve got the goods.”
I wanted to believe Rafael, but I just couldn’t. “I don’t know about that. It feels like we’re damaged goods. Who would want to deal with the firestorm that I’m sure is happening online right now?”
Cody sat up and rested his arm on my shoulder. “It’s not all bad. Once they released your pictures, some people got really excited. It seems the idea of you two being together is very intriguing to a lot of hockey fans.” He waggled his brows when he said it.
I know Cody meant well, but both Theo and I shuddered when he said it. The fact that everyone knew what our faces looked like only added salt to the wound.
Theo took a sip from his drink before asking, “But a lot of it’s bad, right?”
The three of them paused for a moment, making it clear that nobody wanted to confirm the worst .
Finally, Quincy spoke. “Some of it is really hateful. You know how some people are.”
Boy, do I ever.
Theo took hold of my hand and asked, “Is it just the locker room thing? The gay thing?” Then, he turned to me and said, “I’m sorry.
We don’t have to talk about this. I guess I’m just trying to brace myself for what I might see when I turn my phone back on, or even what we might hear when we’re back on the ice.
” He tried to chuckle, but it came out forced.
Theo looked worried, and it broke my heart.
He shouldn’t have to deal with this crap.
“No, let’s hear it,” I said. “This way, we can get ahead of it, or at least brace ourselves for it. Like you said.”
The other three all looked at each other, silently debating if it was a good idea or not.
“There have been the typical evil Christians who can’t wait to sink their teeth into something like this.
Some run-of-the-mill homophobia as well.
But there’s another rumor going around that’s picking up momentum…
” Cody stopped speaking after that, and my heart began pounding.
What he already mentioned sounded bad enough, so how could it get worse?
“There are rumblings online that you propositioned other guys—that this was something you two did routinely and wanted other guys on the team to participate in. Those rumors have spiraled into stories that you touched other guys.”
“But, we know you didn’t do that, and nobody on the team has confirmed that rumor either,” Quincy added. “It’s just trolls in the comments making things up.”
I can’t really describe what was going through my mind at that moment. It was like the world stopped spinning for a second as I tried to comprehend those words.
They’re saying we propositioned other guys? Touched them?
They were making us out to be sex-crazed perverts—predators even. I literally felt like my system was in overdrive, and my body started shaking.
“Those mother fuckers,” Theo whispered.
“Yeah. Don’t let them get to you guys,” Quincy added. “They’re bigots and are looking for a reason to bash you.”
All I ever wanted was to play hockey. I’d kept my head down for so many years, masking everything I felt inside so I could appease the outside world. I finally found someone who made me feel loved, and the world took it upon itself to destroy me for it. I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed to move.
I got up and stumbled toward the dock. My legs buckled for a moment, but then I righted my stance and continued.
My mind knew the others were calling me, but I couldn’t hear what they were saying.
I didn’t know why I was walking to the lake, but it felt correct.
Maybe I needed to cool down? It was one of those moments when, if you don’t get up and move around, you might never get up again.
I just couldn’t handle hearing those words, and I needed to escape.
I’ve been beaten for being me my whole life, but I’m the perpetrator? I’m the predator?
The wooden dock burned the bottom of my feet, but I didn’t care because I wasn’t going to be on it very long. I needed to cleanse myself of those disgusting lies, and I couldn’t think of any other way than jumping in the lake.
So, I did—the cold temperature shocked my system. The garbled scream I released sounded almost comical beneath the lake, but I didn’t stop. I screamed at everything. All of it.
When is it going to stop? When can I be me ?
Splash.
Splash.
Splash.
Arms reached out and pulled me up.
Theo, Quincy, and Cody were in the water. Theo wrapped his arms around me and kicked to shore, where Rafael stood waiting to help pull me out.
Rafael grabbed my legs while Theo lifted me from beneath my arms, walking me over the rocky beach to the soft grass.
I wasn’t drowning. I don’t really know what was happening. My mind was no longer in sync with my body. Once again, it felt like I was watching the scene unfold from afar.
“What the fuck! Don’t ever do that again, Asher. Ever!”