Chapter 4
ZILL
Breaking News! Empress's alien harem is actually her new protective detail, according to a statement made by her agent. Would we be surprised if they were both?
Okay, so this is going poorly already. What am I supposed to do? Reese is sobbing, her tears wetting the fabric of my shirt. And whether or not I want to admit it to myself, I'm enjoying being the one she's reaching to for comfort.
When she first burst into tears, I had the gut reaction to pull her close to me. So that's how she is now, practically sitting in my lap with my arms banded around her as she cries.
Usually, if this were happening, I'd at least be able to read the person's thoughts to figure out what they need, but Sombrans have a wonderful little quirk where they can't read their soulbond's mind until they complete their bond to one another.
Our shadows, in all their unhelpfulness, think we could sway our soulbond's opinion, force them to be with us even if it's not reciprocated.
So they protect their minds just as most Sombrans are taught to guard their own.
My shadows have a vise-like grip around Reese's mind, and there's not a soul in the world who could make them relent in protecting her from me, even if they're doing me the disservice of not knowing what to do in this situation.
They might be the ones keeping me from being in her mind, but they're also screeching at me to make it better, to make our soulbond no longer sad.
They don't seem to grasp that I could do that if they would just let me into her thoughts.
I ask for them to drop the protective shield, and they scream about guarding her from me messing with her mind, as if I'm going to do that. It's just one of their quirks. As much as I hate it in this moment, I can't blame them when they're doing what they think is right to keep Reese safe.
"Sorry," Reese says, her words muffled against my chest.
I haven't known what to do with my hands, so they've been awkwardly pressed against her back, rigid and unmoving.
She pushes away from me, and I let my arms fall heavy at my sides, not wanting to make her feel trapped against me.
I've already taken far too many liberties, considering we barely know one another.
It was clear on her face that she was as aware of my mother's plans as I was.
The fact that I want to bond with her has no bearing on how she feels about the whole situation.
If I'm going to do as my mother said, which I am because I'll be damned if I let anyone else watch over Reese, I'm going to have to pretend as though I'm not interested in Reese any more than any other Sombran would be.
The fact that I'm wondering for the first time in my life how soft a woman's skin might feel against mine, how she might look if I were above her, between her legs, will only cause issues for me that I will deal with when I have a moment alone with myself.
Reese doesn't need to know about my affections, as new as they are, until she wishes to know of them.
I won't force her into a relationship with me, not when my mother is already doing that.
Nothing but me being sent back to the ship and sending Kolos in my place will come from me admitting now that I wish for her in real ways instead of the false feelings Mauve wants us to pretend to have for one another.
"You're fine," I say as Reese finally lifts away from my chest.
She sniffles softly, wiping away the last of her tears. As much as my shadows and I hate her crying, she is still the most beautiful woman we've ever seen. Granted, we've never appreciated anyone's appearance in the way we appreciate Reese's, but that's neither here nor there.
I lift my hand, my shadows racing up and dripping from my fingertips, to brush her cheek. I stop myself since it isn't a gesture her bodyguard would make. I never attempt to touch any of my clients unless necessary, and yet here's Reese, sitting in my lap while I comfort her.
My shadows kept themselves from touching her while she was crying, unsure what the protocol was in that regard.
Now that she looks more like she's okay, they want to wrap themselves tightly around her, cover her in them until she is every bit theirs as I want her to be mine.
And if I'm going to do my job and remain professional, they aren't going to touch her.
I force them to the floor, where they grumble in my mind but relent.
"I've just been going through a lot, and normally I wait until I'm in my room alone to cry. I guess you're in my head, though, so it felt safer to do it now since you probably knew it was going to happen anyway."
Reese lets out a self-deprecating laugh and pats my chest. Her eyes go wide as she looks from her hand up to my face, her somewhat happier expression morphing into one of horror as she scrambles out of my lap, almost as though she was unaware she was there until just that moment.
"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have–"
"Reese," I stand and step toward her, hoping to stop her pacing before she gets herself all worked up over nothing.
"You were crying. I had no problems being the one you leaned on for support.
" And then to cover just how true those words are, and not because I was hired to help her, I add.
"I wouldn't be a very good bodyguard if you didn't feel safe around me, now would I? "
I leave off the part where comforting someone as they cry is nowhere even remotely close to being in my wheelhouse, and I've never once had a client sit in my lap and cling to me for comfort. As far as Reese needs to know, this is all still perfectly normal.
"You're right," she says with a sigh, her shoulders slumping momentarily before she straightens, nods to herself, and then holds out her hand for me to shake. "Can we start again? Without me crying this time, maybe?"
I fight the smile that wants to tug at my lips. I'm attempting to remain professional about all of this, but it's a sight to behold the woman going from timid and scared to sure of herself in the blink of an eye.
"Of course." I grab her hand, forcing my shadows to fall back down to the floor as they attempted to snake upward to link us together even more. "I'm ZillHerman, your Sombran bodyguard for the next few months."
"Reese Martin," she says, not hiding her smile, and it's so infectious I can't force mine down much longer. "Is Herman a normal Sombran name?"
I snort, releasing Reese's hand as I move to sit back in my chair, hoping to keep the same lighthearted conversation going until we have to move on to the more serious matters.
"Herman was Mauve's last name. In Sombran culture, we don't have family names in the same way you do, but it was important to my mother that she kept her name and that her offspring shared it with her. "
"And your father?" Reese asks. She's back in her seat, leaning closer to me as if she's genuinely interested in my family.
I'm curious how much Mauve's told her over the years. Reese seemed surprised to find out I was Mauve's son, but that could be because she didn't know of my existence at all or because she didn't know I was half human, half Sombran.
"My father would do anything for her," I answer easily.
"A soulbond is a special thing for Sombrans.
There isn't anything we won't do for ours once we've found them.
" I clear my throat, not wanting to go down the path of soulbonds right now, especially when mine is looking at me with wide, intrigued eyes.
"But a name is an easy thing. My mother got her way, and it kept them from having to come up with a paired name for my siblings and me. "
"A paired name?" Reese asks, and since it isn't about soulbonds, I'm more than happy to explain it.
"The second half of our name. It's shared between siblings. I'm ZillHerman, and my brothers are YryffHerman and WynHerman. Though we all just go by the first half."
"What about last names?" Reese asks with clear interest and not just feigning it for small talk. It makes me want to tell her everything about anything she wants to know.
"Don't have them, though if you inserted a space between my first names, I'm sure they would work the same." I shrug.
"What's a more common Sombran name?" Reese asks, and then seems to think I might take offense to it, "Not that Herman isn't Sombran enough or something. I mean, I don't know about all of this and…" Her voice trails off as I smile, shaking my head gently.
"The others I work with all have more common Sombran names. IshaNara and SkiaNara have both Sombran parentage, and KolosOthros has a human father, but his parents went with a Sombran name."
"Interesting," Reese says in a breathy way before something outside the conference room catches her attention. She sits straighter and clears her throat. "We should talk about this arrangement Mauve is all but forcing us into."
My stomach twists, and my shadows begin to panic. "If you feel forced into this at all, we don't have to do it."
"No, no, it's fine. Mauve has always looked out for me. I doubt this time is any different. Plus, you already know I find you attractive, so it's not like I'm going to embarrass myself any more than that."
My cheeks flame at the same time my shadows wrap around my body, swirling and twirling around as they all begin to celebrate that our soulbond finds us attractive.
As much as I'd love to remind them she called me attractive, not them, I'm more concerned with the realization dawning on Reese's features as she figures out I had no idea she found me attractive.
Her face brightens as red as mine feels as her eyes widen into saucers, and one of her hands moves up to cover her face as if she could disappear just from the action. "Please tell me you already knew that. You're supposed to already know that."
"I, well." I stop talking, trying to take my time to come up with a good excuse. One that doesn't make her feel uncomfortable.