21. Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-One
Katie
I eye my phone anxiously. It's been a few hours since Pax wrote me and I'm starting to get nervous, my eyes darting to the black screen on the table every few seconds. Do I need to fish his corpse out of a river? Dig him up in a forest? Or did it go well and they're hanging out?
Hystoria's reaction is such a wild card. Yes, Cole was worried and yes, he said the others were worried as well, but worry doesn't erase anger. If anything, it tends to fuel it. I would know.
"So." My head shoots up when I hear Phoebe's voice right next to my ear. She pulls back a chair and plops down on it, eyeing my phone as warily as I am. Then Harper joins the two of us as well, a plate with a cupcake in her hand.
"Pax is your roommate? And you're together? Like, couple-together?" Harper raises her eyebrow at me as she slides into the chair to my right, putting down her plate before leaning in with narrow eyes to watch me curiously.
Raising my hand to pick at the skin of my lip, I nod slowly.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Phoebe sounds disappointed and I avert my eyes.
"Because I didn't want you to have to lie," I admit softly. In my periphery I see Phoebe narrow her eyes at me. "I can't tell you much about what's been going on with him; you're going to have to ask him that yourself. But he didn't want the band to know where he was, because chances were high they'd end up paying him a visit if they'd known. So, I didn't tell you, Harper, so you won't have to keep it a secret from your boyfriend, and I didn't tell you, Phoebe, so you wouldn't have to watch your mouth around Harper."
"How dare you turn this into a martyr story," Phoebe sighs with an eye roll and leans back in her chair, exasperation leaving her body.
"We're still mad at you," Harper says and pokes my side, making me chuckle.
"I'm sorry." I shrug and shoot them a sheepish grin.
"So, tell us now." Phoebe props her elbow on the table and her head on her hands. "When did it start? How did it happen? Any drama?"
"Well, my crush came back almost immediately, so that was pretty annoying." I blow a strand of hair out of my face. "But, I mean, it was just a crush. But the tension, man… off the charts. It built up over time, I'd say. There were looks, feelings, heart flutter and then on his birthday it kind of came to a head." I grin at the double innuendo they won’t get.
"So, you've made the best of Luke's trip, am I right? Right?" Phoebe asks, wiggling her eyebrows at me suggestively. I think my chili red face is answer enough because she bursts into laughter.
I ignore her cackling and continue. "No drama so far. Unless I'll have to avenge his death after the guys are through with him."
"You won't," Harper assures me softly and shakes her head. "Si's going to be way too happy about having Hystoria back to let anything happen to Pax."
"You think?" I cock my head and stare at the ceiling as I try to picture it. I'm surprised she's here. I thought she'd go to New York with Si, just in case things went south. She must have a lot of faith in the guys working things out. "I guess he's tall, but could he take Jake and Cole if it came to it?"
"In theory, probably; in reality, Cole could have so much rage that he'd tear him apart," Phoebe contributes, chuckling darkly as she pictures it.
"Yep," Harper adds, popping the 'p' as she says it. "He was pretty pissed back then. Understandably, I might add. But maybe he's managed to cool off a bit in the past year." All three of us grimace as we remember the huge scandal that broke. Their faces were in all the tabloids, and even on the news. Fair to say, Windmeadows was in an uproar.
"Does he seem different?" Harper asks, cocking her head at me. "I'm not sure what was going on with him, but the guys never had a positive word about him in the past few years."
"I think so," I assure her and nod. "At least to me, he seemed different than when I last saw him. Granted, that was eight years ago, but I think he did a lot of reflection and growing in the past year."
"Well, maybe there's a chance, then," Harper sighs, her eyes landing on my phone. "We'll have to see how it goes.”
"Well, if you need a funeral cake, no matter for whom, you know where to find me," Phoebe adds, the following giggles a welcome distraction from the tension as we're waiting for a message from our guys.
Suddenly, we hear a phone vibrating, but it's not mine. Harper fumbles hers out of her pocket and reads the message on her screen.
"All alive. Going for beer now." She reads out loud and I can see the tension seep out of her shoulders. "Thank god." She puts her phone away again. "Si was so stressed about the whole thing. I've never seen him that nervous."
Funny. I could say the exact same thing about Pax.
He'd paced the living room for hours before he had to get a taxi to the airport. I don't think he's even slept, anxious and nervous about meeting the guys, but also excited about creating music with them again. I think he needs this. The longer he waited to get in touch with the guys, the worse his fear got, and the more time he had to come up with new worst-case scenarios in that pretty head of his. I hope none of them are taking place but considering he's not hanging heads-down from a bridge or tied to a concrete block at the bottom of the ocean, I dare say it seems like it went well.
Finally, my phone lights up as well with an incoming message.
"Having beers at Cole's." All of our eyes grow wide and we look at each other wordlessly. Then Harper bursts into laughter. It’s not entertained laughter, no, this is straight-up witch-level cackling.
"Oh, she's going to castrate him,” she presses out and I shake my head at her.
"You better get used to the feeling of silicone," Phoebe chuckles, hitting my shoulder jokingly.
"It's Eve, she's not doing this half-assed. We'll never find his body," I pout and bury my face in my hands. Then I unlock my phone to answer.
"Nice to have known you," Harper reads out over my shoulder. "Say 'Hi' to Eve from me and rest in peace. Love you."
"Awe!” Phoebe coos into my ear. “You’re at the ‘I love you’ stage!”
I try to hide my smile. “We haven’t really said it yet, but this could be my last message to him,” I scold her, making both of them giggle. “So let me be sappy.”
“You can be sappy all you want,” Phoebe assures me. “As long as you continue to look this happy.”
“I’ll try my best.” And that’s definitely true. I hide my grin behind my giant coffee mug.
Pax makes me happy. Not when he buys me an apartment or car, because turns out those moments made me more uncomfortable than happy if I’m being honest. He lost no time getting those two things settled after I gave in to him, then went even further and told me he’d have the flat renovated and furnished to my liking as well.
No, it’s the moments we spend tangled up with each other: watching TV, or each of us scrolling on our phones, when he drops a kiss on the top of my head and when I wake up with him wrapped all around me, or when he takes some of the mental load off me by going grocery shopping or vacuuming the flat.
I feel seen.
After so many years of putting someone else first, it’s a strange sensation to be put first. Slowly, I’m getting used to it. And he’s getting used to having someone contradict him from time to time. There are still times we fight because he thinks only he is right. There are times I just let him have it, others I’m setting the record straight.
We’re getting there, but for now, it’s a case of picking my battles. He’s worth each and every one of them.
It's later in the evening when, finally, my phone rings.
"Hello?" I answer without checking the caller ID, so sure it’s Pax, and surprised when Luke answers me.
"Hey, Sis. How are you doing?"
Ever since Pax told him about our deal, Luke’s been sounding a lot happier. I can hear the smile in his voice, and it makes one spread on my face as well as I begin to pace the living room.
“I’m so lonely,” I make my voice tremble in a fake sob. “This flat is so big and empty.” Luke laughs, looking right through my act. “Just kidding, I’m enjoying having my room to myself,” I can’t help but tease him. “How’s Europe? Where are you now?”
“We’ve arrived in France today,” he says proudly, and I whistle. “Paris.”
“I want a postcard.” I’ll likely never get to go there, so I guess that will have to suffice.
“You’re going to get one,” he promises, and I nod, satisfied with that answer.
“So how do you like it? ”
“I’m not sure yet,” he muses. “The food is amazing and everything I’ve seen is so beautiful. But I don’t understand a thing here. It’s trippy to be surrounded by a language you don’t understand.”
I laugh in response. “Good thing you’re there for vacation and not university, then.”
Luke bursts into laughter and I hold the phone away from my ear at the loudness. Just as the screen lights up, I see another incoming call. One that makes my heart flutter and makes my hands all clammy.
“Well, take a lot of pictures, remember that postcard, and have a lot of fun,” I tell him. “Love you, Luke.”
“Love you, too, Katie. Tell Pax I said 'hi.'"
"Will do!" I promise him and end the call, accidentally declining Pax's in the process. "Fuck," I curse, and my fingers fly over the screen to call him back.
He answers even before the first ring, starting his camera. Startled, I try to work out how to turn mine on as well. I'm not used to video calls, so I need a few moments to work it out. But it's worth it when I see his exhausted face break into a smile as soon as it turns on.
"Good. You're alive," I tease him and chuckle, sitting down on the couch. Now that he's called, the need to walk off nervous energy has evaporated and I feel calmer. "I was afraid I'd have to scour the closest forest to your location for remains. Unsuccessfully, I might add, since both of us know that if Eve was involved in a murder, she wouldn’t be caught."
"Luckily, they let me live," he winks, and I hear a deep, deep sigh escape him. He looks tired. Happy but tired.
"How did it go?"
"A lot better than I thought it would," he says ruefully, running his hand through his hair. "Hystoria is a tentative yes. We're taking it slow, recording another album and we'll see how it goes."
"That is amazing news, Pax!"
"I even talked to Eve." Pain flashes across his face and the smile falls off my face. Uh-oh. That doesn’t sound so happy.
"You're still breathing so I'm assuming it went okay?"
"It could have gone worse." His hand runs through his hair again. It's all tousled and my fingers are itching with the need to reach through the screen and straighten it out. "She hasn't forgiven me, and she probably won't anytime soon. But you know what? That's okay."
"Yeah?" I tilt my head and search his face. He seems content, even happy with how it went down.
"I apologized to her because she deserves a proper apology, not because I want or need her forgiveness if that makes sense," he explains, his eyes darting around nervously as the words leave his mouth.
"It makes sense,” I assure him. “I'm so proud of you."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." I nod to emphasize my point. "You're not apologizing because you're selfish enough to guilt trip her into forgiving you. You apologized because you hoped it would make her feel better. There’s a difference." His whole face lights up as the words slowly sink in. "I'm proud of you, that couldn’t have been easy. Are you okay?"
"Yeah," another deep sigh. "Yeah, I am. But I’ll be more okay once I’m back. I wish you were here." Be still, my heart. It tugs in my chest, wanting to cross the country to be with him, but alas, I kind of need it to live.
"Same." The smile on his face widens if that's even possible. "Are you coming back soon?" I ask instead, sounding hopeful.
"With the next flight," he assures me and rustles through something lying before him before he continues, “which is leaving in about three hours."
"Good," I whisper, smiling into the phone. "I'll be right here, waiting for you."