Chapter 23
ELI
Standing in a straight line, shoulder to shoulder with my three brothers, with Nathan on my left, Max and Cole on my right, I tilt my chin up, pulling the collar of my shirt away from my skin.
I’m tense all over, and maybe I need a full-body massage and a gong bath that Sapphire suggested, whatever the hell a gong bath is.
Today I should be focusing on Nathan’s big day, but all I can think about is Sapphire and how she looks in the dress she’s wearing; it makes her look like something out of an ethereal painting.
Her hair is freshly dyed this morning, fading from pale pink at the roots into lilac at the ends to match her dress.
She looks like the girl in the Endee Desree painting at the art gallery.
The one she said was her favorite. Mine too.
It’s ridiculous how many times I’ve thought about her not wearing a bra under that figure-hugging dress because of the almost indecently low back that sits just above the dimples at the bottom of her spine; I’ve pictured it many times already.
I’ve also imagined what color her pebbled nipples might be again. I’m mad at her for wearing pasties to cover her nipples I wish I could see outlined through the delicate ombré fabric.
Fuck. I have to stop this before I get yet another erection. This is fast becoming a serious problem, one I may need to talk to my therapist about.
Something else to add to the list.
Fuck my life.
On the way here, Sapphire talked the entire time, awe-struck with the driver I hired to take us to the wedding in a limousine, informing me I’d made her feel like a princess for the day.
Impressed with everything, she drank the champagne, enjoyed the massage seats, and played with every button she could find.
The women I’ve dated before always downplayed my lifestyle, acting unimpressed and too cool to ask me to turn on the TV, unlike Sapphire.
What impressed her even more and earned me extra points was the time and effort I put into hiring an electric limousine.
I kept the fact that I recently bought it and didn’t rent it to myself.
However, she might have figured it out when I addressed my driver by his first name and told him to take the rest of the day off, which was always the plan.
Instead we’re hopping on one of the executive wedding coaches Arianna and Nathan arranged to take guests not staying over in the ranch treehouses back to the city after the wedding.
If Sapphire did notice that Clark was an employee, she didn’t say anything.
On Arianna’s insistence, the wedding ceremony is being held in the recreation room at Dad’s care home, ensuring our dad is part of the most important day of their lives.
So that’s where we are right now, in the care home, just waiting for her to arrive with my dad, who is giving her away because we’re the only family she has.
What she doesn’t realize is how much we love her and will treat her like one of us because she’s not just Nathan’s wife to us; after today she’ll be a Hart through and through.
“You brought Paige Bradshaw as your date?” Cole asks my brother Max in a low voice, sounding taken aback.
To be honest, so am I. I thought they hated each other’s guts.
“Yeah,” he answers sheepishly, because he knows what’s coming next; teasing and goading.
Cole tuts, then says, “But I didn’t bring a plus-one because you and Eli said you weren’t.”
Max replies quickly, “It was a last-minute decision.”
I don’t want them questioning me bringing Sapphire, so I try to deflect. “Shut the fuck up, will you?” I snap, keeping my voice low, my exasperation evident.
“You brought Rainbow Bright?” Max asks.
I grit out from between my teeth, “How many times do I have to tell you? It’s Sapphire.
” I roll my neck again, feeling uncomfortable with this line of questioning.
I would hate for them to see how much I like her.
I still can’t believe we exchanged words by text last night, and I told her she was just the right amount of everything.
Then, in a moment of weakness, I told her to buy herself another pair of cowboy boots.
Fuck.
Next, I’ll confess to her that I’ve imagined her bent over my bedroom balcony, her pretty dress pushed up to her waist as I fuck her from behind while she’s wearing those fuck-me boots.
I need to get a handle on this fire inside of me that’s burning wildly before it gets completely out of control and I can’t contain it, making me do something I’ll regret, like kiss her again.
She’s too good for me. Too sweet.
I inform my brothers, “And she just invited herself, something about how she wants to immerse herself in our family values or something equally as stupid that has fuck all to do with work. I mean, how will her being here today help the staff conference? And look.” I angrily pull out a clear stone from my top pocket.
“She even put a crystal in my jacket pocket because it will make me feel calm and align my chakras, which is a pile of shit. How the fuck will a crystal calm me today when all she does is wind me up? She’s annoying,” I lie.
She doesn’t wind me up. She turns me on, which is so much worse.
She’s right there, under my skin, in all the best and worst possible ways.
And the crystals? I’ll try whatever she suggests, even if I don’t understand or believe in what she does.
Cole and Max burst out laughing like naughty schoolboys, and I roll my eyes at their childish behavior. Sapphire isn’t annoying; they are.
“You need another dozen of those crystals to calm you down, that one isn’t working,” Cole teases, screwing with me.
“Will you three knuckleheads keep your voices down?” Nathan interjects, making us stand to attention. “You’re like fucking children.”
I smirk to myself as Max and Cole laugh out loud again.
I might be uptight, but I’m not as highly strung as Nathan has been for weeks.
If I were him, I would be too. He’s been juggling organizing a wedding, preparing the house to welcome the arrival of his baby, and he’s still working around the clock because he’s the top personal injury attorney in the state.
Max leans forward and asks Nathan, “How are you feeling?”
“Fine.” He juts his chin out with confidence, straightening his bow tie, but we all know he’s hiding his nerves. Like me, he craves control, thrives on it and hates losing it.
“You’ve nothing to worry about.” Max reaches past me and pats Nathan on his forearm. The one he uses to beat us almost every weekend at tennis.
This seems to soothe Nathan, and he drops his shoulders, his features softening when he shoots Max a smile. “Thanks.” He blows out a breath before looking at Max. “So, you and Paige?”
I dip in and out of my brothers’ idle chitchat as Max informs us Paige was the woman from his date in the dark he had months ago at a sex club.
I shudder at the thought. That’s the opposite of fun in my opinion.
Not that it counts for much, but I like sanitary conditions where I know who has been where with whom.
The desire to ask Max whether the case he and Paige were working on was jeopardized gnaws at my curiosity.
Like always, the need to do the right thing pulls at my inner conscience.
Not only is it well known that we do not allow sexual relationships between opposing counsels, but it’s also written into everyone’s employment contract.
I save that line of questioning for another day.
However, at the risk of sounding like a jerk, he had better not have risked the firm’s stellar reputation.
I cast a glance over my shoulder and smile at how easily Sapphire has made friends with half the guests, complimenting their outfits and asking them about themselves and how they know the bride or groom.
She’s so naturally relaxed and fits right in. Nothing fazes her.
Even when I picked her up, her cat, Ghost, ran out the door, then proceeded to do a figure-eight between my legs, covering the bottom half of my black pants in white cat hair, and she ran back into the house to fetch a lint roller to remove it.
Unflappable. That’s the only word for her.
While I was seething inside, I tried my best not to burst a blood vessel, my perfect suit no longer perfect.
Well, it is, but it isn’t. Maybe slightly imperfect is a better way to describe it. To everyone else it looks fine, but to me, it’s not. It’s difficult for me to explain my just-right OCD, and what makes and what no longer makes sense to me anymore.
Sapphire surprised me further by not mentioning what happened in the fitting room or our text conversation, instead choosing to talk about other things.
She asked me if I could help her restructure her business, analyze every inch of it and create a new partnership agreement to bring Mistee, her best friend, on as a partner.
When I agreed but let her know that there were huge financial assessments that would also need to be undertaken, as well as valuation assessments, tax implications, state filings and a multitude of policies to be written to prepare and action, she didn’t flinch, not once, simply agreeing to it all and asking when we could start.
See… she’s unflappable.
An enigma.
I tune back in to my brothers’ conversation as Cole questions how serious Max is about Paige. I’m just glad they’ve stopped poking fun at me about Sapphire.
“Wow, it must be serious. You’re all closed off and shit.” Cole addresses Max, sounding shocked.
“Yeah, well, she’s…” Max starts, stopping mid-sentence to peer over his shoulder to where Paige is sitting behind us, before he finishes, “…everything.”
Man, has he got it bad.
The last time I felt like that… Well, I don’t want to think about her right now because she shattered my fucking heart into pieces without a care in the world.
“She’s it,” Max says, sounding like a love-struck fool as Cole pats him on the shoulder.
I only catch the end of Cole’s sentence. “She must be something special.”
“She is,” Max replies with ease, surprising us all.
Hell, this coming from the guy who maintained he would never commit to anyone has blindsided us all.
When I dropped off his things at her house the other day when Paige was sick and he offered to look after her, I didn’t ask any questions, because quite frankly it was none of my business, but the awe in his voice makes me crave something deeper with someone.
Specifically, someone who goes by the name of Sapphire Feelgood.
Nathan, Cole, and I all stare at our notoriously unavailable brother and grin at him, happy that he’s finally emotionally matured.
Looking behind me, I’m hit with a wave of warmth in my chest as Sapphire puts two thumbs in the air, wishing me well just as the wedding celebrant instructs everyone to stand, and my heart does the tugging thing again, as if it’s pulling me toward Sapphire.
My heart now has a compass, my true north only pointing to her.
God, what is happening to me?
I pull at the cuffs of my suit jacket and inhale a deep breath before turning to Nathan and saying, “Here we go.” I grip Nathan’s forearm. “We love you, brother.”
His grin grows wide, flicking his attention to Max, Cole, then back to me.
“Oh, stop or you’ll make me cry. Look at my beautiful babies.” Our mom appears out of nowhere, having helped the caregivers wheel my dad into the room in his fancy wheelchair, which now assists him.
Synchronized, the four of us watch Arianna, who is seven months pregnant, stroll down the aisle, looking like the happiest woman in the world, her hand on my dad’s arm as he slowly steers himself toward us with his other hand using the electronic joystick controller.
And my heart pulls in a different direction, the way it does every time I visit my dad. The daily reminder that he’s fading away one day at a time. The strong man who raised me is now a figment of my imagination. His body is a vessel for the diseases he has just waiting to steal him from us.
A lump forms in my throat, and I swallow it down.
Life can be so cruel at times, with that familiar feeling of dread taking over me, until I glance over to where Sapphire is sitting.
There she is… soft curves I want to explore, a kaleidoscope of colors, and someone who brightens my day without even trying. Her radiance pushes back the darkness once more and I instantly feel better.
I now believe she’s magic.
She shines brightly, like luminous stars across a midnight sky. While she might survive without me in her life, I now can’t imagine what life would be like without her in mine.
I just need to figure out a way to keep her.
That might mean I have to tell her how I feel.
How do you tell someone that you’ve only kissed the neck of that you’ve dreamed about them every night, and find yourself imagining what a house full of kids with them would look like?
I’m such an idiot.
It’s all so overwhelming.
I hate myself for acting like I hated her or for making her feel too much, but really, it’s the other way around.
Max might be all in with Paige, but it seems like I might be heading that way myself. And if Sapphire can handle anything thrown her way, can she handle my too-muchness?