Chapter 29 The Phoenix
Chapter twenty-nine
The Phoenix
Release day couldn’t come fast enough. It was both exciting and daunting thinking about being back out in the real world.
Here, safely tucked away in the clinic, real-world problems couldn’t reach you.
Even after the photographs Craig had sent, I haven't received anything else from him.
I was safe within the walls of the hospital's behavioral wing.
The only monster that walked those halls was one I trusted with my life.
Daxton may have been a monster in his own right, but he was my monster, though, the exterior embodiment of my inner demons.
He brought them to the surface and basked in their shadows like a moth to a flame.
The past week, he had filled most of my waking hours as well as the moments I spent in the depths of my subconscious when I was fast asleep.
He had also filled me in ways that would have lost him his job if anyone at the clinic had found out our sessions were more hands-on than strictly just talk therapy.
Kendi was the only person who knew about my newfound obsession with my therapist, and I trusted her as much as I trusted my own sister. A goodbye with her was bittersweet. As far as she’s come in her own program, she still had a few days before she would be discharged.
She currently lay on my perfectly made bed as I packed what little belongings Michelle had brought me during my stay.
“I’m going to miss you,” she said weakly. Kendi had such a soft heart, yet she was one of the strongest people I had met in my lifetime.
“You’re going to see me in a few days, and possibly more after that if Dr. Faris can hire you on. You’ll see me so much you’ll get sick of me,” I teased as I tossed a scrunchie at her. She caught it before it smacked her in the chest and smiled.
“I could never get sick of you. You’re unlike anyone I’ve ever met.
I guess I’ll have to get used to sharing your attention on the outside, though.
” One thing I had learned about Kendi over the past few weeks was that she didn’t make close friends easily.
She was friendly—a lot of people loved being around her, basking in her sunny disposition—but close friends that she could truly open up with, those were harder for her to come by.
“I promise my sister is going to love you, she’s excited to meet you, and everyone at the vet’s office will love you too. They may be a small group, but they’ve been a huge staple in my life for the longest time. I know you’ll be the perfect fit to work with us.”
“Is she still going to be staying with you when you get home?”
“Until the police at least locate my psycho ex.”
“He’s still missing?”
“The last Daxton heard from his cop friend, they still didn’t have any new leads on his whereabouts.
” Kendi knew every detail, other than Daxton technically being a serial un-aliver.
I would trust her with the secret, it just wasn’t mine to tell, and I wasn’t about to break his trust. Other than that small detail, she knew everything, and it felt good being able to confide in someone that you just knew wasn’t going to betray you.
“Are they any closer to believing you didn’t try to kill yourself?”
I shook my head, putting the last of my clothes in the bag and zipping it closed. In hindsight, I probably shouldn’t have spent so much time folding and organizing my bag when security was just going to search it again on my way out. It was too late to change that now.
“No, I think Officer Johnson believes me, but they can’t open an investigation into it. They weren’t even able to get anything off the photos he sent, just that it was probably dropped in a mailbox and not an actual post office.”
“Do you think he’ll try something when you leave?” Concern laced her words, outside these walls, we were all vulnerable, not just to harm from people like Craig, but triggers that could cause us to end up at rock bottom again.
“Honestly, I don’t know. I wouldn’t put anything past him at this point.” I wanted to tell her I didn’t think he would do anything, that he was all bark and no bite, but I just couldn’t bring myself to say those words when I didn’t believe them.
“I worry about you,” she admitted, sitting up and placing the scrunchie on top of my bag sitting at the foot of the bed.
“I’ll be fine, Kendi, I promise. I’ll have my sister, and my dog hates him, so if he comes into my house, I won't be unprotected. Riley’s already got a taste of his blood. I'm sure he’s itching to get more.” I sat on the bed beside her and let her hug me.
“You’re still eating breakfast with us, right?” She pulled back with a single tear sliding down her flawless dark skin.
“Of course, they’re not discharging me for a few more hours.”
“Okay, I’m going to let you get dressed. I’ll see you in the hall.” She plucked a tissue out of the box provided by the hospital that sat on my nightstand, dabbing at her eyes as she closed my door upon her exit.
I stripped off my pajamas and headed into the bathroom.
It was a blessing they didn’t do body checks on a patient's discharge, as they did when they were being admitted. The bruises peppering my flesh would probably raise too many questions that I wouldn’t be able to answer.
Daxton’s grip was almost permanently imprinted on my hips, dark purple spots where his fingers had dug into me as he had fucked me into oblivion.
I couldn’t get over that in a few short weeks.
I looked healthier than I had in almost two years.
Life had finally returned to the features in my face, and my eyes were no longer dull and fading.
My stitches came out a few days ago, and my pale skin now has multiple thick purple scars puckered up against my flesh.
I wasn’t going to let that bother me from now on.
I had fought for my life, and I had won.
I may have been detoured by coming to the hospital, but I lived when someone had tried their damndest to kill me, and I wouldn’t take that victory lightly.
When getting dressed to face the chilly mountain air, I made sure to pick warm enough clothes.
Jeans and a dark green sweater made up my outfit, with my winter coat lying on my bed next to my bed.
Unfortunately, I didn’t have any of my fall boots from home, so I slipped on my flats again.
I braided my hair back in a long plait down my back, barely containing my excitement that tonight I’d be showering in my own bathroom, able to use my own products, and finally be able to shave my legs.
That was the worst part about being here, silly as it was, I hated the fine hair that had slowly been growing since patients weren’t allowed to have access to razor blades.
While waiting outside my door for my last meal with my hallmates, I was nearly bouncing on my feet with excitement.
Andrew had been discharged earlier this week, so it was just the four of us left now.
Cindy hadn’t returned to work since she discovered Brandon's body.
Shemar and Collins alternated the day shift with us while they took on more hours.
Security now does additional walk-throughs in the middle of the night.
The rumor had spread amongst the patients that Darrell had been caught sleeping on the job.
Food had never tasted as good as it did this morning; everything had so much more flavor as I devoured it.
I laughed with Kendi and Thelma throughout the meal.
Even Tyson joined our small table to participate in the conversation.
Everyone had been doing so well in their own programs and was all looking forward to being discharged in the near future.
Our little band of misfits was finally being set free into the real world one by one.
After breakfast, I went back to the lounge with everyone while they waited for their group therapy to start.
Michelle wouldn’t be able to be the one to pick me up to take me home, when she called last night, the school where she worked was short on substitute teachers, so she couldn’t take the time off.
Even though I tried my best to reassure her that I would have someone else drive me home, her guilt was still evident.
Forever taking care of me, I doubted it would ever change with her.
I promised her once I was home, I’d text her, all of my personal belongings that I wasn’t allowed to have while admitted to the clinic, including my cell phone, would be given back as I left.
Daxton had stepped up to be able to drive me home since my house wasn’t far from downtown, where he both lived and worked.
He wasn’t on duty at the clinic today, so that made it easier.
Every time we talked, he made sure to remind me that this wasn’t some fling that was going to stay behind the walls of the behavioral clinic: this was real.
And every time I listened to him, I took a leap of faith in believing that he meant what he said.
As nine o’clock rolled around, Shemar appeared in the doorway with someone I had never met before. An older woman, short even compared to me, stood beside him with a name tag that didn’t label her as medical staff.
“Miss Devlin,” he called, and I inwardly cringed.
I had asked him over and over to call me by my first name, but he was too by-the-book to deviate from addressing all the patients with the same show of respect.
“This is Brenda Farley, she’s in charge of going over everyone’s discharge papers.
If you could come with us, please.” The older woman smiled in greeting as I hugged everyone goodbye.
Kendi’s tears hurt my heart even though I knew our goodbye was only temporary, and I promised to call her tonight after I got settled back in at home.