Chapter 30 The Phoenix
Chapter thirty
The Phoenix
Being home was bittersweet. I cried when I held Riley, barely able to get my arms around him as he wiggled about, whining at me the moment he heard me come in the door.
Daxton hadn’t stayed after dropping me off.
I wanted a few hours alone before Michelle got off work, though he made me promise to charge my phone and check in.
The chances of Craig doing something stupid in the middle of the day were ridiculous to me.
A fact Daxton didn’t hesitate to remind me about was that it happened to be daytime when those photos were taken.
I buried my blurry eyes in Riley's soft fur; the comfort of being able to see my dog meant more to me than being able to see most people. Riley was my rock, the one who got me through all the hard times. Without him, I doubted I would be alive. If he hadn’t been a nuisance to Craig as he tried to kill me, there’s no telling how it would have played out.
I knew in my heart that my dog saved my life that night.
Michelle had kept my house spotless, like she always did when she stayed.
The scent of pumpkin and waffles filled my house from the wax warmers I had in various places, making me happy to be home.
Fall was always my favorite season, and it was comforting to know my house was already prepared for me in such small ways that made my heart happy.
I missed my routines, down to even being annoyed with Riley when he would follow me everywhere in the house. Without bothering to unpack my bags, I placed my phone on its charger in the bedroom and grabbed a pair of flannel pajamas before taking a shower.
Even though I knew I’d kick myself when I got the water bill, I couldn’t help but stay under the hot stream until the spray started to turn cold.
It took longer than normal to shave my legs; they were used to being taken care of every evening, not going several weeks without seeing a razor.
The candles that I had lit before starting my self-care routine still flickered in front of the mirror while Riley slept on the bathroom rug.
The dim light was just enough to see by since I didn’t want to turn on any of the overhead lights.
Processing being back home was going to take a while, and I wasn’t going to rush myself.
Riley didn’t bother lifting his head off the rug until I was dry and out of the tub; he knew better than to rush me.
I blew out the candles, casting us in complete darkness for a few moments before I opened the door.
Steam billowed out of the open space in wafts of clouds, escaping their confined space in the bathroom.
Wrapped in nothing but my towel with my hair still damp and dripping gently down my back, I made my way into my room.
The dark green walls with cream and white accents felt foreign after so long away.
My bookcases were untouched, every book exactly where I left it, along with all my little knick-knacks that lined my shelves.
Very few photos hung on my walls, most of the art was honestly discounted Halloween decor I collected after the holiday had passed, and stores put everything on clearance.
A black and white canvas of two skeletons embracing hung above the headboard, a giant gothic version of The Lovers tarot card, complete with faded edges that made it look well-loved.
Riley’s professionally done portrait hung above my desk, taken last year on Christmas, when I ordered matching festive pajamas for the two of us.
Lastly was a photo of my parents, tucked behind a stack of books on my nightstand.
I didn’t like looking at it often, yet I couldn’t bring myself to put it away where I would never see it.
My fingers trailed along the bookcase next to my closet door, not a speck of dust in sight from where my sister probably stress-cleaned my entire house multiple times while I was away.
Carefully, as if they were made of glass and not durable cardstock, I picked up a deck of tarot cards that lay on the top shelf next to a few special editions I owned.
I didn’t know how to read them; my parents weren’t exactly the religious type by any means.
My grandmother did her best to try and give my sister and me the type of upbringing she thought we deserved, but nothing ever stuck long enough when my mother had her way.
The tarot deck had been a gift of sorts from one of my friend's parents, a few months after we had to bury her in her final resting place.
Brooke had taken her own life when we were just freshmen in high school.
The set had been hers when she had been alive.
She had been obsessed with learning the art and knew more about astrology than anyone else I had known at that age.
I had been her only friend since middle school; our peers thought it was better to mock her for her different beliefs than to accept her.
Though I cherished the deck her parents had given me, she was also immobilized in my skin amongst the flowers.
I didn’t have to believe in her way of thinking to value her as a person; I just wished it had been enough.
My homage to her was carried with me daily, making sure she would never be forgotten.
I set the deck back in its proper place before I could become too emotional by thinking about Brooke.
If only she could see what a life awaited after high school.
Josh had been her final straw. A boy she had believed truly cared about her, only to turn around and betray her trust. As an adult, I know it wasn’t just about Josh, that there were so many layers when it came to making that choice.
The child in me just wished to go back and hug my friend one last time and tell her about Daxton.
Prove to her that there were real men who protected girls like her.
“Come here, bud,” I patted the bed, prompting Riley to jump up and lie down while I changed into my favorite pair of pajamas, refusing to get sucked down the rabbit hole of the past.
The sounds of rain and thunder filled the room as I turned on my sound machine. White noise was a must-have for when I was trying to sleep. All I wanted to do right now was lie down with my dog and give my body and mind a good reset before my sister got off work later.
Grabbing a fleece blanket from an old steamer trunk at the foot of my bed, I didn’t bother pulling down the covers before settling into the nest of pillows.
Riley didn’t need to wait for an invitation before joining me, lying down with his back against me as I wrapped my arm around him.
Nothing was more comforting than lying down with him.
He was the complete definition of a security blanket for me, and before long I was drifting off to sleep.
Barking woke me up with a start, Riley's excited barking and whining were audible even over my still playing sound machine. He was no longer with me in bed. From the sounds of him, he was most likely downstairs. Rolling over, I glanced at my bedside clock, groaning as I realized I had slept the entire morning and afternoon away. It was just past six in the evening, so I’d bet my sister was the cause of his sudden excitement.
Even though I slept for almost seven hours in the middle of the day, I felt more refreshed than I had during most of my stay at the clinic.
Turning off my sound machine, I quickly made my way downstairs just as the front door started to unlock.
Riley was bouncing around between looking out the front window and coming to the door until she finally got it open.
“Hey, boy!” She greeted Riley enthusiastically as she deposited her bags on the rustic table sitting beside my door. “Hey, Rae,” she said a little more somberly as she kicked the door shut with her foot and pulled me into a rib-breaking hug.
“It’s good to be home,” I told her as I let her squeeze the life out of me. Riley circled around us impatiently waiting for his turn at all the attention. The German Shepherd didn’t bond with many people; those he did let into his limited inner circle, he expected constant attention from.
Riley wedged his head between our bodies, causing us to laugh at his antics. Once we were separated, he sat between us, glancing at each of us expectantly until Michelle finally bent over to give him a big hug, to which he licked half her face in greeting.
“I’ve seen you every day, boy, you’re being ridiculous,” she chided half heartedly.
“If you want to feed this monster, I have Chinese takeout in the car I picked up to celebrate.” She stood, tucking the loose strands of her dark hair behind her ears and looking better than the last time I had seen her, the stress no longer weighing her down.
“Sounds good to me. Come on, Riley. Dinner.” He didn’t need any more encouragement after hearing food was coming and followed me happily to the kitchen.
After scooping out his kibble and placing it into his personalized bowl, I gave him the command to sit before giving him his meal. Riley was always eager to learn and even more eager to please. Food was his main motivation for listening ever since he was a puppy.
The sound of the door shutting again was the only noise other than Riley’s loud chewing. Usually, I would have the television or radio on as some sort of background noise. Tonight was different; I wanted to focus all of my attention on my sister.
She placed the bags onto the counter and started pulling containers out of each one.
Black pepper chicken and fried rice for me, general tso's chicken with white rice for her, and a shit ton of egg rolls for us to split.
Neither of us bothered to grab plates or silverware, both preferring to use the cheap chopsticks that came with the food.
Neither of us enjoyed doing the dishes either, so the less mess to clean up after a meal, the better.