11. Devon
11
DEVON
I wasn’t sure what was worse. The nerves I had from Lincoln coming over for dinner tonight or the anger I felt to hear that Leslie almost got into another fight last night. King called to tell me, bright and early this morning, before he crawled into bed from another long night out. But the difference between Leslie and King was that King was a happy drinker. He was always having fun. And he never got shit-faced to the point he didn’t know where he was. He drank casually to take the edge off and relax.
Last night, we had a home game against New York. The rivalry was strong there. And in the state of New Jersey, not every hockey fan rooted for the Jetties. Just like not all of the baseball fans rooted for the Emperors.
Apparently, some of the New York hockey fans found their way to the same bar as Leslie, King, and Noah after the game. They said the right things to rile up our goalie, and only King and Noah kept someone from getting hit. It took both of them to drag Leslie out of there.
Around two this afternoon, after sleeping off whatever he drank, Leslie stopped by my house on his way home from crashing on King’s couch. I wasn’t as nice this time and I didn’t want to hear his excuses. There was only so much I could do to protect him. His reputation was of a fighter now and every rival fan knew it. I told him he had to stay out of the bars. We needed him in the crease if we were going to get to the playoffs again.
Leslie left with his head hung low. Maybe that was what it was going to take for him to get where he was focused on his career. Or maybe he needed more intervention than I could provide.
What really got me was he was so good while we were on the road. He didn’t go out one night. He hung out with me in my room, and we just relaxed, or we’d go to a quiet dinner. No drinking. No fighting. It was nice and reminded me how great of a guy he was. But then to come home and have him pull this shit? I was starting to think Leslie needed a babysitter. I’d hoped his ex would eventually make his way back to him but if it hadn’t happened yet, I wondered if it ever would.
Today of all days, I didn’t need this. And now I was a mess of a person trying to get everything ready for dinner with Lincoln. My first date with him. One I’d been hoping for.
My hands shook as I meticulously laid out what I needed for homemade ravioli. It was my mom’s recipe and not an easy one. I figured making the pasta from scratch would keep me busy and my mind occupied. I was wrong.
I was about to get started when the doorbell rang. If this was Leslie again, I was sending him home. Wiping my hands, I walked toward the door. Through the living room window, I spotted King’s BMW in my driveway. Great, just what I needed. He’d only make me more nervous with his high energy personality.
Swinging the door open, I revealed Hayes, not King, dressed in a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. It was February but Hayes was from Canada and liked to remind me our version of cold in Espen was nothing compared to the cold where he came from.
“Hey, man,” I greeted, opening the door for him to come in. “I’m in the middle of making dinner but if you’d like to hang out while I do so, you’re more than welcome. If you came here to drag me out tonight, you know your way back outside.”
Hayes smiled. Deep brown eyes glinted in the light. He had this whole boy next door kind of look to him. His wavy brown hair that hung down to his ears was ruffled from the wind. He was a few inches taller than me and had more muscle than I did. Not that I was small, but he was bigger than both me and King.
“I think you’ve mistaken me for my roommate. I’m not here to take you anywhere.”
I started the walk back to the kitchen. My house was a modern ranch style I had built to my specifications. Three bedrooms with three and a half baths, it was more than enough space for me. There was chocolate brown hardwood throughout, and an open floor plan for the living room, dining room, and kitchen. The kitchen had white cabinets with a black quartz top and stainless-steel appliances. There was a center island where I had my ingredients laid out.
Hayes pulled up one of the stools on the side of it and sat down. “I’m not sure what you’re making, but I’d love to try it.”
The second I responded, Hayes would know more than I wanted him to. I didn’t want anyone to know about Lincoln yet. Not because I was ashamed of him. Far from it. I’d proudly go out anywhere with him. But because I didn’t know what we were, if anything at all. I wanted to stay quiet.
“I have plans.” That earned me an even bigger grin as I washed my hands. “Don’t.” I pointed at him.
Hayes held up his hands. “I’m not doing anything, though it makes sense why Knox said you were off.”
“Leslie should have been listening to what I was saying rather than looking at me. He needs to focus.”
“I know, but we’re not talking about him.”
“You’re the one who brought him up.”
“Only to ask about your weirdness.”
“Hayes, I’m weird every day. Awkward. Not normal. You name it.”
“Not always.”
I waved him off and started working on the ravioli. “Whatever.”
Propping his elbows on the counter, he rested his chin on his hands. “So…”
“You’re not going to stop until I tell you, are you?”
“What do you think? King specifically sent me over to check on you. And before you say you don’t need that; I know you don’t. But for as much as King likes to joke around, he worries about his friends.” That was probably one of the reasons King stayed close to Leslie last night.
“Why didn’t he come himself then?”
“He thought you’d tell me more.” That grin of his was still firmly in place.
“I have a date, okay?”
“Okay? Are you serious? I’m fucking thrilled!” Hayes got off the stool and came over to wrap his arms around my waist from behind. “Our boy is becoming a man.”
I elbowed him and tried to shake him off. “Get away from me, you lunatic.”
Hayes chuckled and pulled back. “Seriously, Dev, we’re happy for you.” I’d gotten long used to him referring to himself and King as we. Only, they weren’t a couple. Just best friends. Hayes was straighter than an arrow.
“Why don’t we stop talking about me and start talking about your relationships?”
“Oh, you mean my nonexistent love life? Sure, it’s fascinating.” He rolled his eyes.
“You date.”
“I go on one date and decide the woman isn’t for me and that’s the end of it.”
“You’re too picky.”
“I have every right to be.”
I sighed. I was being a dick. “You do. You shouldn’t have to settle.”
“Enough about me. Tell me about your guest.”
I shrugged. “There’s not much to say yet. This is the first time we’re getting together. You know how I get. I doubt he’ll want a second date with me.”
“Devon.” The firm tone of my name had my gaze lifting from the island to him. “You’re a great man. Obviously, he saw something in you to want to go out with you. Or is he someone just after your status?”
“No.” I shook my head. Sure, there were a lot of people out there who would love to date a professional athlete, but Lincoln wasn’t one of them. “He’s not like that. I had to pursue him.”
Hayes whistled loudly. “How’d that go?”
“As bad as you can imagine.” I would like to hope I wouldn’t be the nervous, fumbling, unsure of what to say person tonight, but I doubted it.
“He must see beyond the faults you think you have.”
“Do have.”
“You sell yourself short.”
I shrugged again.
Hayes was quiet for a moment then clapped his hands together so loudly I jumped. “Tell me what to do.” He went over to the sink and washed his hands. He wanted to help me cook.
After that, I directed him through making ravioli from scratch. He said he’d never done it before and seemed to enjoy it. There was a lot about Hayes the world didn’t get to see. Only the ones who knew him well did. He held a lot close to his chest. And for all the times I’d seen him smile and be happy, I saw the moments he let it slip. Let other emotions play out on his face, no matter how quickly they appeared and were gone. He felt things deeply, even if he didn’t try to show it.
Once everything was made and ready to put in the pot, I saw Hayes out and jumped into the shower. I wanted to look my best for Lincoln. No, he didn’t seem like the kind of guy who thought looks mattered most, but I wanted to make a good impression. I had no doubt my awkwardness would come out full steam. At least if I looked good, I’d have that going for me.
If only I could talk to him as easily as I did to Hayes earlier. Granted, I didn’t tell him much, but I also didn’t blush or fumble over my words in his presence. Hopefully, I’d be able to relax tonight and be a normal person. Enjoy the evening with a man I was grateful accepted my dinner invitation. I had to be on top of my game if I wanted this date to lead to another and another after that. I wasn’t sure if Lincoln was the one, but I’d never know if I didn’t try.
I spent time to get my hair perfect and made sure my black slacks and light blue button-down were wrinkle free. I had the sleeves rolled up as I cooked the pasta and the sauce I also made, careful not to let any splatter on me. I was probably overdressed. Would that turn him off? Would he think I was too into my appearance? I really wanted to impress him.
Maybe if I was lucky tonight, I could convince him to ice-skate out back with me. After my house was built, I had to leave for the road. When I came back, the rink was there. My parents had it installed for me. There were tall lights around it that I sometimes used. Others, I liked to be in the dark, knowing where the edges of the rink were like the back of my hand. It had a refrigeration system to keep it cold, even if the temperature outside wasn’t below freezing. I didn’t want to know what they spent on it.
There were nets at either end. I had sticks and pucks. And I kept extra pairs of skates in various sizes in case I had company, which wasn’t often. If the guys came over, they brought their own gear. But mostly it was just me using it, clearing my mind, loving the silence with nothing more than the sounds of my blades cutting through the ice.
Would he want to do that? Skate with me? It would help me be more in my element. Maybe get me to be more myself and let him see me.
The doorbell rang for the third time today. This was the person I was looking forward to. No getting angry with Leslie. No Hayes digging into my personal life. This was Lincoln and I couldn’t wait to spend time with him.
My hands shook as I reached the front door. With one last quick pep talk in my mind, I opened the door and hoped like hell I didn’t fuck this up.