17. Devon
17
DEVON
I heard the words he said. Took them in. But it was my fault. I put that station on the radio. No, I didn’t realize it would trigger him, but I still felt horrible about what I caused him to go through.
“I’m sorry you lost your friend.” He wouldn’t want me to apologize for putting on the radio.
I’d never known anyone personally who went through what he had. He was opening himself up to me. I knew telling me what he had wasn’t easy for him. He’d gone through something horrible. Something I couldn’t even fathom.
Lincoln was so different than me. It made me realize how lucky I was in life. I got to do what I loved for a living because there were others out there fighting for our freedom. I was out on the ice, playing my heart out, enjoying it like crazy. Sure, it wasn’t always easy or without pain. Injuries happened. But that was absolutely nothing compared to what Lincoln experienced. The danger he constantly faced while he was deployed. The PTSD he lived through at home.
I didn’t suffer with panic attacks. The occasional anxiety, of course. Never to the level he had though. I hadn’t been in his shoes, but I felt for him.
Taking his other hand in mine, I held them both while I looked into his light green eyes. Fuck, there was so much swimming in there. So much emotion, hurt, fear, and a little longing. For me, maybe? Did he worry I’d turn him away after he admitted this to me? I would never do that.
“Next time, tell me?” I offered a small smile. I couldn’t push him about his PTSD. I realized he had to be the one who brought it up, and the last thing I wanted was to upset him in any way.
He nodded then gave a short chuckle as if trying to dissolve the seriousness in the room. “Can we talk about something else?”
“I thought you were done with me, so I’m just happy to sit here holding on to you.” I clamped my lips shut and stared toward the front windows, wondering if I revealed too much. I didn’t like being insecure, yet I was with Lincoln.
Squeezing my hands briefly, he said my name firmly but not harshly. “Devon.”
I was helpless not to pull my gaze to his.
“My problems aren’t for the faint of heart and I wasn’t sure it was fair to lay that at someone else’s feet.” He released my hand to run his through his hair. The lighting caught the subtle shade variations in his light brown locks. He chuckled again, this time I could see the humor on his face while he did so. “We’re quite a pair.”
I took the chance and slid closer until I had one leg bent on the couch, my other knee touching his, and asked the question I was itching to know the answer to. “Are we? A couple?”
He lifted his hand to cup my cheek. “You know, I love watching you on TV as you play. Your confidence, the way you move, you’re in your element and it’s sexy as hell. But I think I like this version of you better. The one I have before me now. The man who is worried about me and is willing to accept things I can’t even fully explain to him yet.”
I parted my lips to speak, but his thumb skated over my skin until it brushed my bottom lip.
“You’re going to say you’re ready to listen. And you might be, but I’m not sure I’m ready to talk about it. There are so many things I’ve only spoken about with my therapist and some of those stories have only left my lips once. Someday, I hope to be strong enough to tell you it all. I know one thing for certain. I want you, Devon. I want to be with you. I can’t say it’s always going to be easy. In fact, I know it won’t be. But I’d like to try. If you want to, that is.” Fuck, did I ever.
“I do. I also want you to feel comfortable to lean on me if you need to. I’m not here to judge you. I want to support and help you if you’d like me to. When you’re ready.” I had to close my mouth, or I’d keep rambling.
Leaning forward, Lincoln’s lips came within a breath from mine. “Thank you,” he whispered.
I held my breath, realizing something big shifted between us. I could feel it deep inside. And while I wanted to scream with how happy I was that this beautiful man wasn’t walking away from me, I tamped it down because I had a feeling what was about to happen was going to tilt my world on its axis.
The kiss was tentative at first, like he was trying to be gentle with me. I didn’t want him to though. I wanted him to devour me.
I used my hands and gently pushed his shoulders back, breaking our kiss for a second. When Lincoln was sitting on the couch, with his back pressed to the cushions behind him, I slid over and straddled this lap. It wasn’t easy while wearing dress slacks. The fucking things could tear for all I cared.
In this position, I was taller than him and had to peer down to look into his gorgeous eyes. “Is this okay? I’m not hurting your leg, am I?”
His hands found my hips and he tugged me closer. A gasp left my lips as I pressed tightly to him. “I’m good, Dev.”
My hands went from his shoulders down his strong chest until they hit the hem of his shirt. I teased my fingers beneath the fabric to get to his bare skin. I wasn’t sure how far we were going to take this, but I wanted to go slow to memorize every touch, caress, kiss, and more.
“Tell me to stop and I’ll immediately do so.”
He leaned forward, nipping along my jaw. I was glad I was meticulous about being clean shaven. I hated scruff on me, but I loved it on Lincoln. Loved the way it brushed roughly against my skin. “Don’t stop,” he said as he continued his journey, kissing down my neck. “I want this.”
Lincoln hesitated when I reached for his shirt but then we both got rid of our own. He seemed a little shy all of a sudden and I wasn’t sure why. The sight before me, Lincoln bare from the waist up, had me licking my lips, unsure of what part to taste first.
Just like that, all my shyness melted away. I wouldn’t let it get in the way of what we were experiencing with one another. The more time I spent with Lincoln, the easier it was for me to be myself.
On his right pec was a tattoo of an anchor with rope coming from it. That was where I went first, gliding my lips over it then down to his nipple. The second I gave it a little tug with my teeth, Lincoln moaned. His hands found my waist again. And this time when he pulled me close, I felt how hard he was for me. Fuck. Yes.
I went from one nipple to the other, showing them equal attention. There was a beautiful eagle on his shoulder that went down his arm and curved onto his back. I was going to kiss that next. Before I could get to it, I was pulled away.
“You don’t get to have all the fun,” he said, his voice rough with desire.
There wasn’t time for me to speak before I was turned and laid down on the couch with Lincoln over me. He kissed me hard, his tongue sweeping into my mouth. It felt like everything that had been holding him back was finally gone and he was giving into me, into this.
He ground his dick down against mine. I cried out into his mouth at the contact. How could our dicks both be covered, and this still feel so good?
Lincoln made a path down my chest to my stomach. I wasn’t someone who was vain. I worked out and was in great shape thanks to it. I had muscles I worked hard to maintain. And I used that strength when I was playing. When Lincoln leaned back and stared down at my body, I was especially grateful for the time I put in to look the way I did.
“Damn, Devon.” His hand glided ever so slightly down my stomach, causing the muscles to jump under his fingers. “Look at you.” I wanted to look at him.
Reaching up, I started to undo his jeans. The second I found the zipper and was pulling it down; Lincoln was there doing the same to me. When my slacks were open and my boxer briefs pushed down just enough, my aching dick was finally released to the warm air of the room. I sighed in relief. Then I fisted Lincoln and pulled him out as well.
He wasn’t overly long, just the right length that I knew would fuck me good. And he was thick as hell. It would take some work, but he’d fit. When he did, I would be one happy man.
It’d been a long time since I’d had someone fuck me. It was usually me doing it and I didn’t mind at all. But I missed that connection of someone being inside me. And something about Lincoln called to this primal side of me where I wanted him to claim me. To push deep inside and let him have his way.
Lincoln stood quickly to shed himself of his clothes then pulled mine off with ease. When he laid gently over top of me on the couch again, the moment felt so tender.
“Hi,” he whispered as he gazed at me.
I traced over the lines of the eagle on his shoulder. There was no missing the change in his skin as I moved over it. To think of the scars he had inside and out, it made him all the more beautiful to me. I hoped he’d eventually share more with me. If he didn’t, that was fine too. Whatever he was comfortable with.
“God, you’re gorgeous,” I marveled as I continued to gaze at his tattoo.
“Like a man with ink?”
I lifted my eyes to meet his. “I like you. The ink is part of you, which makes me appreciate it even more.”
“What do you want, Dev?”
“You, however much you’re willing to give me.”
He gave me that slightly crooked smile that had me melting into the couch. “I meant right now.”
Reaching down, I gripped his dick, which was lying next to mine against me, and put them both in my hand. “Fuck, you’re big.”
Lincoln moved so we were both on the couch on our sides, facing one another. He took us in his hand. “I want to feel you too.”
“We need lube.” It would feel so much better with it.
“Go get some.” He released me and I all but fell off the couch in my haste to get to my bedroom and grab a tube. Lincoln’s laugh followed me up the hall.
When I got back to the living room, he was exactly how I left him, although from this vantage point, I could see the full length of his glorious body. I settled back beside him and leaned in to nip at his ear. “One day I’m going to lick you from head to toe.”
It was so much better feeling comfortable with him. Not worried about everything I said or having trouble forcing words out. The shift that occurred between us a little while ago, it was monumental. Not just for our relationship but also for me and how I felt around him.
His response was to take the lube from my hand and put a generous amount in his. He gripped us again and, oh holy hell, it was amazing. My eyes tried to roll to the back of my head.
“Your hand, Dev,” he reminded me. How did he expect me to think when I felt this good?
With my hand joining his, we both put pressure on us and started moving. It wasn’t anything adventurous or overly intimate, but it was perfect.
Our lips met again as our hands brought us both close to the edge. It wouldn’t take long for me. I hadn’t been with anyone since before the season started.
“You feel so good,” I said between kisses.
“I’m close.”
“Me too. I want you to come all over me, Linc. All over my chest.”
He let out a low moan then rolled us over so he was above me again. He straddled my waist, my dick nestled beneath him, pressed to my body. I’d get my release after him. I wanted him to get off first.
Lincoln started stroking himself, but I batted his hand away to take over. It easily glided over his length as I watched every movement his body made. He was glorious, so on display for me. So vulnerable. I loved watching him.
A loud yell left his lips as he started coming in ropes. The first one hit my chest and neck. The second got my arm and stomach. I kept working him until there was nothing left. I’d never seen anything so hot and, damn, did I feel claimed coated in him.
When he came back down, he didn’t wait to take me in his hand and pump me fast. His face hovered near my dick, his tongue out as I was about to let go. The sight of him there did me in. I came so hard. After my cum hit his tongue, my eyes slammed shut and my back arched off the couch. Waves of pleasure coursed through me. Lincoln stroked me through it until I couldn’t take it anymore and stilled his hand.
He sank back on the couch, our legs touching as we both caught our breath.
“You’re home for a few days, right?” he asked.
“Yeah, then I have to leave again for one game, but I’ll be back after that.”
“Perfect, because this is only the beginning.”