27. Devon
27
DEVON
Somehow, I had found my groove again. At least on the ice. Not off it. I wasn’t that fortunate. It was like once the game was over and I was alone, I reverted back to being sad. I had two sides: professional and personal. The personal one had the broken heart. No matter how much I tried to mend it, nothing held the cracks closed.
But I couldn’t think about that now. I had a game to play.
Minutes ticked by and I was back in the game. We were over the border in Pennsylvania playing Bethlehem again. They were damn strong this season and I knew we had to do our best to beat them.
The score was tied at one. We were in the second period. King and Hayes were on fire. I was grateful I played just as well as them. That wasn’t me being cocky. It was me thanking whoever that I lived up to their caliber tonight.
King passed me the puck, I found an open lane to Hayes, and he went in for the shot. It didn’t hit the net though. It bounced off the crossbar where Bethlehem took possession of it again. Fuck!
We followed them down the ice as they headed toward Leslie, who had been mean as hell tonight guarding the goal but in the best way. He’d blocked so many shots. The one he let in he beat himself up over between periods.
Their center took aim, the stick connected with the puck, it sailed down the ice, but Leslie was able to block it yet again. King was there to take it back.
This went on for the entire period and into the third. Lines were switched out. Pucks bounced off goalies’ chests or against their legs. We all played hard, knowing we were paving the path to The Cup. Jansen and Noah were our best D-men of the night, and I was glad they were there with us on the ice.
When the puck slid my way, I knew I needed to score. I didn’t want to go into overtime. But damn, the Bethlehem guys were everywhere I tried to go. I worked my stick, skated my ass off, tried to shoot but was blocked so I skated back behind the net. Their guys were on me, shoving me, fighting for what we both wanted.
With a little help, I got out of there still in possession. I went around the net and without thinking twice, slapped the puck the short distance toward the net. I held my breath for the split second it took to reach its destination—right in the back, over the goal line.
Hell. Fucking. Yes.
King and Hayes were on me before I could blink, hugging me, slapping my back, as the Jetties’ fans in the stands cheered. It was the goal we needed to take the lead. Now to hope we held onto it, which was easier said than done.
The rest of the period played out with one decent fight, penalties, coaches screaming at us. But in the end, we won. One step closer to the playoffs.
Once we were dressed and stepping out into the crisp night air, we wore matching smiles. I knew when I was back home that everything from my personal life would weigh on me again, but out here, I was letting the satisfaction of winning the game hold me up for a little while longer.
Someone slapped me on the back. Jansen stepped up beside me. “We kicked ass tonight, D.”
“We sure fucking did.”
Big arms wrapped around me from behind and before I knew it, I was being lifted off the ground in a bear hug that could only come from one person. The air was effectively squeezed from my lungs, so I couldn’t yell at Leslie to put me down. Instead, I smacked his arms hard enough to get my point across.
He placed me on the ground where I sucked in as much air as I could.
“Don’t crush him to death, Knox,” Jansen said and slung his arm over my shoulders. “We need him to keep playing like this.”
Leslie grinned. “Awww, I love seeing you protect him.” He pinched Jansen’s cheek. “You two bonded that night, didn’t you? You’re besties now. I dare say you’re going to make King jealous.”
“Who’s making me what?” King asked, coming up alongside Leslie.
“Kenna and D are getting best friend forever necklaces. Each one will have half a heart.”
“Fuck’s sake,” I muttered. “How do you even know about them? Wasn’t that in the nineties?”
Shrugging, Leslie said, “I saw it in an ad on my phone one night while I was scrolling.”
“I didn’t know porn had those kinds of ads,” King stated.
Leslie elbowed him in the ribs. “Fucker.”
“So, you don’t deny the porn?” King’s grin was so big.
“We all watch porn. What do you care? Have some good ones you’d like to share?”
“Don’t!” Hayes yelled as he came over to where we stood. “Don’t ever ask him to show you what he watches. He won’t actually share the real links. Instead, you’ll get wild shit you didn’t even know was a kink.”
“You loved that armpit fuck, Hayes. Admit it was hot.”
My eyebrows shot up. “Wait, people fuck armpits?”
Hayes shrugged. “I wouldn’t know. I stopped opening the links he sent me a long time ago. I’m not stupid enough to click them twice.”
“I got you once though.” King was obviously proud of himself.
“What was the first link you opened?” Leslie asked.
Hayes sighed as if he knew he’d eventually have to say what it was. “Sex with ghosts.”
I put my hands up. “I’m not judging anyone, but this conversation has gone on long enough.”
“Wait, did I hear Kenna is moving in on my bestie?” King interjected.
Leslie turned toward him. “We’ve had a whole other conversation since I said that.”
Hayes patted King on the arm. “He took a hit to the head tonight. Go easy on him.”
King shoved him off. “That was a graze. He barely got me.”
“Whatever.” Hayes rolled his eyes.
Hours later I was back in Espen and driving home. I was tired. Needed a good night’s rest but wondered if I’d actually get one. They were hard to come by, even when I exhausted myself working out or playing.
I was pulling into my driveway when my phone chimed with a text. My heart started beating rapidly in my chest, but I knew better than to think it was Lincoln. He hadn’t reached out to me since we split. Why would he now?
No, it was probably my mom congratulating me on the win. My dad did earlier and told me Mom had gone out with a friend tonight and that she’d text me later. She always did.
I used my willpower and didn’t check my phone until I was showered and in comfortable clothes. With the phone in hand, I opened the fridge and searched for something to snack on before I crawled into bed. Nothing caught my interest. Well, except the phone.
Shutting the door, I finally gave in and looked to see who texted me. It wasn’t a number I recognized. I opened the message, ready to block it, thinking it was probably spam when one word stood out among the others—Lincoln.
Unknown: Hi, Devon. My name is Madison. I know we’ve never spoken before, but you know my brother, Lincoln. I was wondering if you have some time to talk. It doesn’t have to be tonight. I saw you had a game. Whenever you get a chance, can you message me?
I couldn’t type out a reply fast enough.
Me: I’m here. I can talk if you’re still up.
I waited, hoping those three little dots would appear. When they didn’t right away, I put my phone down and internally chastised myself for not responding to her text as soon as I could.
What if something was wrong with Lincoln? What if he was hurt? No matter what happened between us, I’d never want anything to happen to him.
My phone chimed. I scooped it up and unlocked the screen.
Madison: Sorry, I had to make sure Lincoln was asleep before I replied.
Me: That’s okay. Do you want to call me or talk through text?
Madison: I think over the phone would be easier.
My heart beat faster than it did the first time the text came through. I braced one hand on the counter to hold myself up, hoping with everything in me that Lincoln was all right.
The phone rang and for a second, I stared at the screen.
I snapped out of it and answered, “Hello?”
“Hi, Devon. Thanks for taking my call. You sound like you do on TV.”
I blushed. Not that she could see me. I was interviewed after tonight’s game, as were some of the others. “I’m not fond of the attention.”
She laughed quietly. “You always come across as humble. Kingston Walker on the other hand…”
“He’s a whore for the attention.” I chuckled. Madison was Lincoln’s sister. I knew I could trust her.
“It’s really great to talk to you, and in other circumstances, I’d love to chat about hockey, but I wanted to talk to you about Lincoln before he wakes up. If you’re okay with that?” Once Lincoln’s name was said, hockey became a distant thought. I pushed everything else aside.
“More than. How’s he doing?” My voice shook slightly, my nerves getting the better of me.
“Okay. Not great, but not bad either. He’s working through some things. I’m sure you’ve figured out that Lincoln isn’t as tough as he’d like everyone to believe. He has some deep scars. Not all of them can be seen. Demons he fights on a daily basis. I just… I don’t want you to give up on him. He’s trying, Devon. He really is.”
Emotion rose up in me strong enough to cut off the words I was about to say. I finally swallowed it down so I could talk. “I couldn’t ever give up on him. I love him so damn much. But he made it clear he didn’t want me there.”
“Deep down I hope you know that’s not true. He was pushing you away so you wouldn’t see just how damaged he thinks he is. Thinks being the key word. He doesn’t want to drag you into this hell with him.”
I shook my head. “There’s no place I wouldn’t want to be with him. I wish he’d let me in. I want to be there.”
“It’s not easy for him. He’s stayed single for so long for a reason. Then you came along and started breaking down those barriers he built. He loves you too, you know. And he’s seeing his doctor more often. He wants to get better. To be the right man for you. I’m just not sure how long it will take him.”
If only I could be there by Lincoln’s side. To hold him and give him whatever he needed.
When I didn’t reply, she continued, “He doesn’t want to be a burden to anyone, especially you. My brother likes to keep everything to himself as much as possible.”
“He told you what happened.” I didn’t mean for it to sound so defensive or jealous. Lincoln and Madison were twins. Of course, they were close. I still wished he would have turned to me in addition to her.
She sighed, a note of sadness in her voice. “Yeah, after you were gone, and he finally knew he couldn’t do it alone. It’s not easy for him to be vulnerable around me and we shared a damn womb. It’s going to be even tougher to do it in front of you. If you can be patient, I have a feeling he’ll come around. If you give him the time to that is.”
“Always. However much he needs.” It was the truth. I’d wait for Lincoln.
Maybe some would see it as pathetic, but I knew what we had was real. It wasn’t a crush or pure lust. It was everything and I was willing to hang on to it for as long as it took.
Hopefully, he would eventually work his way back to me. Until then, I had a little hope thanks to Madison. And I was going to grip it with everything in me.