29. Devon
29
DEVON
I wasn’t sure how this day had drained me and lifted me up at the same time. I came home from the first round of the Eastern Conference knowing I should have felt much better than I did. We won, moved on to the second round. Yet, the moment I was alone, all I thought about was Lincoln. Then to come home and find him in my driveway… It felt like a mirage. But it wasn’t. He was there with his arms open and there was no place in the world I’d rather have been.
Going to see Dr. Dawkins and telling me of his past wasn’t easy on Lincoln. I didn’t need him to say the words for me to understand how hard it was to pour his soul out to me like he did. He lost someone he loved in a horrible way. One he lived over and over in his mind.
After talking to Dr. Dawkins, I had ways to help Lincoln through the times when it got hard. When the panic overtook him, and the real world fell away. When he was back in that horrific day.
Lincoln’s arm came around my waist as we walked through the garage. I smiled at him, realizing for the first time in a while, my smile was genuine. Not forced or put on for show. I was truly happy because I had the man I loved back in my life.
I let us inside, sure to turn off the alarm. We hung up our coats and then Lincoln’s arms were around me again and his mouth was crushing mine. Fuck, it felt good to have him back. But it felt even better to have his body pressed to mine as his lips and tongue reclaimed what was his. I moaned into his mouth, taking everything he had to give me and returning it just as passionately. I wanted him on a primal level.
I was about to go for his pants when he leaned away enough to break our kiss. His eyes met mine. “Thank you.”
I tilted my head slightly. “You don’t have anything to thank me for.”
“I do. You came with me to see Dr. Dawkins today. You were patient and listened to everything. You didn’t judge me for what happened in the past.”
“I meant it when I said I’m here forever. You’re it for me, Linc. No one has ever held my heart before you, and I don’t want anyone else to ever have the chance to. I only want you. And I will always be here for you. Even if I’m traveling, I’m only a phone call away.”
He rested his forehead against mine. “It means more to me than you know.”
“And you mean everything to me.”
“Dev…” He sucked in a breath.
“Whatever it is, you can tell me. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I want you to make love to me.”
I raked my fingers through his hair. “Always.”
“No, I mean I want to bottom.”
“Oh.” My eyes widened. When we’d had sex before, it was Lincoln fucking me. “Are you sure?”
He nodded. “I want this with you.”
Very lightly, I let my hand slide from his hair, down his neck, and along his spine. He shivered slightly. I’d never seen his back. After what Dr. Dawkins said about his scars, I knew he was just as beautiful there as everywhere else. “We don’t have to.”
“We do. I want to give myself to you and this is my last secret. The last part of me you haven’t seen. I want you to see me—the real me—scars and all.”
I cupped his cheeks, loving the way his stubble was rough on my palms. “I’ve seen the real you from the start. I might not have seen it all, but I’ve always known who you are, how big your heart is, and how lucky I am to call you mine.”
“I don’t deserve you,” he whispered.
“It’s the other way around. Have you bottomed before?”
“Yeah, before my injuries when I was with…” He stopped short of the last word. The name of the man he loved and lost hung in the air.
“Thank you for wanting to do this with me.”
Lincoln gripped the back of my neck. “No more talking.”
“Yes, sir,” I quipped with a quirk of my lips.
With slow, steady steps, Lincoln began backing me down the hall to my bedroom. I didn’t need to look where I was going, not only because it was my house, but because I knew Lincoln would never lead me in the wrong direction. He’d never let me fall.
When we finally reached my bedroom, he kept backing me up until my legs bumped into the bed, then he started taking his clothes off. His shoes left his body first, followed by his pants, boxer briefs, and socks. Then it was his shirt. He hesitated. Not long enough for either of us to say anything, but I noticed.
It wasn’t the first time I was seeing him without a shirt on, but it was going to be the first time I got to see his back. Before I did, I wanted to even the playing field and stripped my clothes off in record time.
Lincoln chuckled. “In a hurry?”
“I haven’t had my hands on you in more than a month. Fuck yes, I’m in a hurry. And just so you know, one time won’t be enough. I hope you’ve been getting your rest, Mr. Newland, because tonight is about making up for lost time.”
“Don’t you have to be at the arena tomorrow?”
“Yup, and I’m going to go there exhausted and happy.”
He smiled and pressed a kiss to my lips as his hand skated down my side until it rested on my hip. His other hand gripped my length which was already hard. He gave it a few tugs. “My ass is going to be sore tomorrow.”
“No, you’re going to feel good. The last thing I want to do is hurt you in any way. Now, stop stroking me or I’m going to come all over you. I don’t want to go down like that for our first time.”
“I’m pretty sure we already had a first time, Dev.”
“Mmm, we did but that was then. This is a new us. One where our only path is forward.”
Lincoln had a lot of demons in his past. I wanted to be the light in his future. The reason for his happiness and the smiles that graced his gorgeous face. I wanted to be the person he could rely on no matter what. And that started now. I had his trust and I’d never give him a reason to doubt giving it to me.
I took a step to his side, keeping watch of his face. He smiled but there was a twitch to it. A nervous one. This wasn’t easy for him. Me seeing his scars was a huge deal. I was going to cherish every inch of his body.
“Trust me,” I whispered.
“With my life.”
My hand stayed on his skin as I pressed a kiss to the top of his shoulder. I placed another one to his shoulder blade as I stepped behind him. I kissed down one side of his back as my other hand gently touched his scarred skin. Lincoln flinched ever so slightly. If I wasn’t so in tune with him, I might have missed it.
“I’ve got you,” I told him softly.
I kept exploring his skin with my lips, tongue, and hands, never putting too much pressure on it, not sure how sensitive the skin was. I had enough scars on my body from being hurt playing to know not all of them felt good when touched.
But I needed Lincoln to know that his scars would never deter me from wanting him. Not the mental or physical ones. Everything he’d been through had brought us to this moment. While I wished none of it ever happened to him, I couldn’t forget it did. Because if it didn’t, we probably wouldn’t be where we were.
Pulling back, I let my eyes roam over his body while my fingers continued their trail over his skin. When I got to his ass, a look and touch weren’t enough. I dropped to my knees behind him and gripped the perfect, muscled globes. Had anyone’s ass ever gotten my attention like this?
“Dev, what are you—”
His words were cut off by me spreading him and licking a stripe down his crease until I got to his hole. Every one of my senses came alive as I continued licking him until he leaned forward and rested his arms on the bed to hold himself up.
“Fuck, you’re good at that,” he said, his voice rough with need.
I finally worked him enough that I was able to slip my tongue inside. He let out a cry and his knees buckled. I quickly gripped his hips to hold him steady. I didn’t want to keep him like this long, not wanting to put too much strain on his leg, but I needed another minute or two of his taste.
I lapped at him, speared him with my tongue, until he reached around and gripped my hair to pull me away.
“Enough,” he growled. “I want you to fuck me with your dick, not your tongue.”
Standing, I leaned forward, blanketing his back with my chest. “Does that mean you don’t want my tongue in your ass again?”
“I didn’t say that.”
I laughed and gave him a light tap on his ass. “Get into bed. I need to work you open some more.”
He crawled onto the comforter on his hands and knees until he was in the middle of it. Turning, he looked over his shoulder with an expression that was nervousness and love. He was on display for me. Not just his scars, but all of him.
I coasted my hand over his hip and down his leg. “You’re gorgeous like this, but I want you on your back. I want to see your face when I slip inside you.”
Lincoln moaned, then did as I asked and laid his head on the pillow and got himself comfortable on his back. His scent would be on my pillows and sheets. One I missed surrounding me.
Reaching into my nightstand drawer, I pulled out lube and a condom. I dropped the condom onto the bed and squirted some lube onto my fingers before rubbing them together to warm it a little.
He wasn’t the only one with nerves. I was going to fuck Lincoln for the first time. Correction, I was going to make love to him. I was going to be inside of him.
My dick bobbed in front of me as a bead of precum formed on the tip. I wasn’t going to last long once I was inside him. This was too good. Too right. The sight of him naked on my bed, I didn’t think it was ever going to happen again. I was beyond grateful Lincoln gave me another chance.
I didn’t know if Lincoln could bring his legs up high, given his injuries. “Can you bring your legs up?”
“One but not really the other.”
“One is enough.”
With his leg bent close to his chest, I leaned forward and kissed him while my finger found his entrance. I swirled it around, coating the outside with lube. As his tongue pushed into my mouth, I breached him with my finger. He was already slightly loose from me tonguing him. I needed him more though. I wanted this to be as comfortable for him as possible.
I took my time and eventually worked three fingers into him. He was writhing on the bed and when I pegged that spot inside, his back arched every time.
“Dev, please. Fuck me already.”
I couldn’t say no. I was about to come just watching him. I grabbed the condom, rolled it on, and spread more lube down my dick. When I lined up, I made sure to look him in the eyes. I wanted to remember this moment forever. The moment I got the man I loved back in my bed. The one who owned me: body, mind, and soul.
Very slowly, I began to push in, watching his face while I did so to make sure I wasn’t hurting him.
“I’m not made of glass,” he ground out, clearly frustrated at my slow speed.
“I won’t hurt you.”
“No, you won’t.”
He hooked his leg over my hip and used it to pull me closer, burying me deep inside in one smooth push.
“Fuck, that’s good,” I said as a full body shudder went through me.
“Goddamn, you feel amazing in me. Now move.” I’d call him on being bossy, but I loved it, so I wasn’t saying shit.
I began thrusting into him in a steady rhythm. Every single time I slid back in it took every ounce of my willpower not to come. Never in my life had I felt this good fucking someone.
And maybe that was the difference. I was making him feel good and showing him how much I loved him. And he did it right back to me with every stroke of his hands over my skin. His lips possessing mine when we kissed.
Lincoln’s hand reached between us to find his dick. I tried to push him away so I could take over, but he wasn’t letting me. So, I decided to lean back on my legs, grip his thigh, and pound into him. He’d proven that he could take me. Now I wanted to drive us both to climax.
The sound of our skin slapping together echoed throughout the room along with our panted breaths, and the occasional moans of pure bliss. We kept going. I tried multiple angles. When I found the one that hit him just right, I stayed there until he was calling out my name as his cum covered his hand, stomach, and chest. It was all I needed to push me right to the edge.
I slammed into him a few more times before my body tensed, his name fell from my lips, and I spilled inside the condom that I really wished wasn’t there. Maybe one day we could go bare once we both got tested.
I relaxed my arms, letting his leg drop, then leaned over him to taste his lips some more. “I fucking love you, Lincoln. So damn much.”
“I love you too.”
He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight for a few moments until I had to ease out of him and dispose of the condom. I cleaned us both up then climbed back into bed so I could hold him. I didn’t know what time it was, and I frankly didn’t give a shit. I was going to hold him for as long as he let me. Hopefully, for the rest of our lives.