Chapter Fourteen
Tessa and Rachel walked side by side along the boardwalk that wound beside the river.
Early sunlight shimmered on the water, and the air carried the mingled sounds of joggers' footfalls, children's laughter, and the whir of bike wheels.
Dog walkers tugged leashes, roller skaters glided past, oblivious to the broken pieces of Tessa's world.
They chatted about kids, school, the upcoming holiday season.
After a moment, Rachel glanced over at her with a smile. "You seem better today. Calmer. There's a little more color in your cheeks, and you don't look quite so weighed down."
Tessa returned the smile. "I do feel a little better. Honestly, I don't think I could have gotten through these last few weeks without your support," she gave her friend's shoulders a squeeze.
"And the women in our group have been wonderful.
I've been trying to take some time every morning to pray and read my devotions and it helps me start the day a little calmer.
For a while it felt like I was living on a perpetual emotional roller coaster, so it's nice to have leveled out a little.
She paused, then added, "And getting past the first trimester has helped too. "
Rachel's expression warmed, "I'm so glad you're feeling better and the little one is cooperating. I bet your mom is really looking forward to her fourth grandchild."
Tessa's parents lived about an hour away on a quiet acreage.
Her dad taught chemistry at the university, and her mom—retired from elementary teaching—now filled her days gardening, crafting, and volunteering at a local women's shelter.
Together they had raised Tessa and her younger brother, Adam, in a loving, faith-rooted home.
They were disappointed the day Tessa and Mark stood in their living room and announced they had already married at the courthouse and that a baby was on the way.
Their dreams for their bright daughter—to experience college, cultivate her passion for design—would have to be set aside for now.
Even so, they supported the young couple, respecting how seriously Mark, though barely out of his teens, took his role as husband and father.
He had never shied away from hard work, putting in long hours at his father's construction business before finishing school and building a successful career.
Most of all, he was attentive and devoted to their daughter.
They cherished being grandparents—welcoming the kids to the acreage to roam the woods, splash in the creek, build forts with Grandpa, and bake cookies with Grandma.
When Tessa finally admitted to her parents that she and Mark were struggling in their marriage, they were naturally worried and upset, but her mom didn't press—she simply assured Tessa that they were there for her whenever she needed them, and that they were praying for them both.
Of course, she still hadn't told her parents everything. For most of their marriage, Mark had been a good husband and father, and she couldn't bring herself to shatter their image of him—or force herself to relive all the painful details.
Tessa slowed her steps and let out a breath.
"Mark told me he found the note I'd written—the one I meant to slip into his briefcase, telling him about the baby.
I wrote it the very morning he came home from work to announce that he had feelings for Kate, that he didn't know if he still loved me.
" She let out a humorless laugh. "I guess the note got mixed in with his papers. "
Rachel's eyes widened. "So, what happened when he read it?"
"I didn't expect it, but his reaction was... strong. I think that's when it really hit him—how badly he'd betrayed me. He seemed shaken, regretful. He begged for a second chance."
Rachel gave her a thoughtful look. "And how did that sit with you?"
"Part of me was gratified," Tessa admitted. "Finally, he seemed to realize what he'd done. Before, it was always excuses, justifications—how hard his life had been, how confused he felt, how he had missed out."
Rachel smirked. "Poor baby."
"I know, right?" Tessa gave a short laugh, then her expression sobered.
"But the other part of me was furious. Distrustful.
I didn't want to hear promises or that he loves me, when what he did to me was anything but loving.
And how do I know he wouldn't do it again?
And the image of him kissing Kate----" Tessa couldn't go on, the sudden pain closing her throat.
Rachel shuddered. "I don't even want to think about what I'd do if David ever..." Her voice trailed off.
They walked in silence for a while. "I told Mark I'd seen a lawyer," Tessa said quietly. " I did see one, but only to see what my options were."
Rachel's brows knit. "Did you tell him you hadn't actually filed?"
"I let him think I had." Tessa's voice dropped even lower. "The look on his face—he was terrified. That's when I think he finally realized how serious this is. He asked me to wait until after the baby is born before doing anything final."
"What do you want to do?"
"I don't know. He says Kate is out of the picture, that it's over. But how can I know for sure? How can I believe he understands the depth of what he's done?"
Rachel squeezed her arm. "Only time will tell, Tess. And you're not under any obligation to make things easier for him right now."
"I still love him," she whispered, her throat tight. "And I remember the man he used to be. That makes it even harder."
Rachel gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "I know. And for what it's worth, I always thought he seemed devoted to you, before all this. It didn't seem like him."
Tessa nodded slowly. "That's just it. He wasn't always like this.
For nine years, even through some pretty hard times, he was attentive, caring.
He never gave me reason to be jealous, never flirted with anyone else.
I really do believe this was the first time he strayed.
And even then—before he took the final step with her—he came to me first, as disastrous and awful as that was. "
Rachel hesitated. "I don't want to sow doubt, but how do you know for sure they didn't... go all the way?"
"I don't," Tessa admitted. "But that day in the kitchen, when he told me, it almost felt like he wanted me to stop him. Like he was dangling on the edge and hoping I'd talk him back. It's messed up, but that's the only way it makes sense in my head."
Rachel didn't press, just kept pace beside her.
Tessa's eyes stayed on the water, her voice softer now.
"After the shock wore off, I kept replaying everything.
Wondering when it started—when he shifted from attentive and engaged to distant, unsettled, like he was looking right through me.
And I realized it wasn't when Kate came to the firm.
Not even the big project that took all his time. It started before that."
"When?" Rachel asked.
I got to thinking, it was after his ten-year class reunion--he went on his own because the kids had a school carnival that evening and I stayed back. He came back different—more distracted, more irritable, less present. That's when something changed."
Rachel glanced at her. "So, you think something happened there?"
"I don't know. Maybe."
Rachel nodded. "Well, you've got a lot to think about. And whatever you decide—or don't decide for a long time—you know I'm here."