37. Cin
Cin
The last two days have been filled with getting to know Talon, although he still refuses to talk about his mother. I haven’t brought the topic up since the other night, but I feel confident that he’ll tell me about her one day.
We’re all gathered in the living room at Creed’s request.
He and Mack are standing in front of the mounted TV, and the rest of us are sitting on the sectional that I’ve grown pretty accustomed to sitting on. I’m finishing up some essays and readying the rest of my final paperwork.
I haven’t texted Cody back yet, and I’m not sure if it’s because of Talon or a perverse sense of protecting Cody’s feelings.
“We’ve taken some precautions at Ravard,” Mack starts, “Finnighan is the only person on the campus who knows about your situation, Cin.”
I swallow and nod, I knew we would have to have this conversation, and a part of me hoped it would never come. But the rational part of me knew it was necessary.
“You’ll be staying in the boys’ dorm,” Mom says, and I shake my head and look at the boys; they won’t look at me except Talon, and I know in my gut they already knew.
“You knew?” I ask them, and Talon nods.
“We think your room may already be compromised,” Mack begins again, “and to be fair, the boys already have two rooms with an adjoining door. They will all stay in one room while you stay in the other.”
“And you think this is a good idea, with Talon and I being… whatever we are?”
I’m aware they know he sneaks into my room after they leave, and I also realize they’ve somehow learned that we haven’t had sex. So maybe they feel safe in this decision because of that, but… why would my mother okay this plan?
“We’ve all spoken about this at length,” Nile says, “Talon is aware of his boundaries.” He says this with an emphatic look in Talon’s direction. No doubt meant to convey his hands-off meaning.
I’ve only spoken to Talon’s father a few times, but each time, I get the sense that he’s almost grateful for me to be giving Talon a chance.
I can admit I’ve seen him bite his tongue many times in situations that he normally wouldn’t, but I don’t think that has anything to do with what I’ve done.
“And plus, you have three extra roommates that will be present the entire time,” Luca says, and I want to refute the statement with a question but decide not to piss off my new roomies.
“It’s the safest option, and Talon was…upset when I proposed that Griffin stay with you in your room,” Mama chimes in.
My eyes slide his way, and yet he’s unbothered by the statement.
“Okay, so I’m rooming with the boys,” I recap, “anything else?”
“Griffin will accompany you to classes,” Mama says, and my eyes bug out of my head. I know I said I was scared to go back, and I am, but Griffin doesn’t exactly blend in, “how am I going to explain Griffin to the other kids?”
“You don’t have to,” Talon quips, and I roll my eyes at him.
“People are going to talk.”
“Since when have you cared about that?” Banks laughs, and the rest of them nod their heads in agreement.
“I have to agree with the boys on this one,” Diego speaks for the first time, and I throw my hands up in defeat.
“I’m just saying, with everything Tal–” I cringe because, whoops, I didn’t mean to point fingers, “everything he’s done this year… people are going to talk. I’m assuming we don’t want that, right?”
He raises a brow at me, and I give him a tight smile. I meant it when I said I forgave him. I did, but he put in a lot of work to make me look a certain way before we left. Now I’ll be living in their dorm?
“We can’t take the risk that someone’s compromised your phone and gotten access to your room,” Mama says.
“And we still haven’t found my phone, right?” I not so subtly remind Mama again that I’ll need a new one.
“Your new one is with Griff right now,” Mack says, “he’s on campus already, doing what needs to be done.”
“That’s not ominous at all,” I counter, “why do I feel like everyone here knows more than I do?”
“Because we do,” Talon says matter of factly.
It’s his turn to smile, and I want to smack it off his face.
“So what? I’m just this damsel in distress now?”
The boys snort, and Talon quips, “hardly.”
“When we think there’s something to tell you, we will, okay?” Mama reaches for me, and I let her. Knowing she has to go back to Zach’s father and play pretend some more. That has to be hard on her since seeing Mack again, well, seeing Mack. I’ve seen her slipping out of his room more times this week than I’d like to count–either way, you go, girl.
She seems happier too, except when someone brings up my father. That’s a sore subject, and I can’t say I blame her.
“Okay, so there’s more, but you aren’t willing to tell me what it is because, according to you, ‘it’s not important’?” I emphasize the ridiculousness of that statement by using my fingers in air quotes. “Forgive me, but has everyone forgotten that I was the one kidnapped because of my father’s past that I. Didn’t. Know?”
Mama looks back at Mack, and I shake my head, “Mama, I don’t expect you to tell me everything, especially since I’ve never asked too many questions before, but if it’s about my father, I think it’s important for me to know.”
Mack and Creed share a look, and I close my eyes. I know I won’t get those answers tonight, but I absolutely will be grilling the boys later.
“So when you leave tomorrow, tell me what you’re going to do,” Creed demands.
I lay it all out for him and wait for his nod of approval.
Back in the bedroom, I demand that Talon go get his brothers. He laughs the whole way, and soon, all of them are crowding into the room.
“How are any of you okay giving up your space for the rest of the year?” I start because that’s the most pressing question in my brain at the moment.
They all look at each other with equally amused expressions, and I growl in frustration.
“I don’t want y’all to think I’m ungrateful, but have you thought about how it will impact you ?” I focus on Banks and Henry. “I mean, aren’t y’all together? Now there won’t be any more hookups because you’re sharing space with two other people.”
Henry blushes, and Banks looks ready to rage.
Talon looks me in the eyes, shakes his head and coughs. I realize now that he knows something I don’t.
“We aren’t–” Banks says through gritted teeth.
“We just–” Henry says over top of him and stops. They look at each other, and I sense that I may have accidentally walked into something that wasn’t publicly known.
“Fucking hell, I didn’t know it was a secret,” I mutter. Looking between Banks and Henry, I stutter out, “I’m– guys, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize–”
Banks shuts the conversation down. “Enough. We aren’t concerned about ourselves at the moment.”
I nod, feeling like an asshole for outing them, even though I’m fairly confident Toby and Talon already knew.
“Toby is usually with Gemma anyway, and I’ll stay with you anytime you like,” Talon says, blessedly shifting the conversation back on track. “We want you to be safe; that’s what matters. To all of us.”
Campus is alive with people coming back from vacations in exotic places with stories to tell and friends to squabble over. I take a deep breath and wait for Griffin to appear before I exit my car.
Step one, done.
I try my best not to look at Talon, because this morning, before we left, he kissed me. In front of everyone, my mother included, and I didn’t care.
Griffin takes my bag and walks beside me up to my room, where I finally take a deep breath. He eyes me as if I’ll try to take flight and run away. But I won’t. I have him and four others looking out for any signs of… well, anything, I guess.
Henry and Banks left earlier than us so they could check out the cafe and our rooms. When I’m in my old room, my new phone buzzes.
I didn’t bother checking my own. Griff did that, and I know he found the cameras Talon set up and removed them.
“The camera’s…” he says as if he read my mind, “Talon?”
I nod, knowing Griffin isn’t Talon’s biggest fan. To be honest, I shouldn’t be either, but the fucker has grown on me, and I can’t seem to shake him.
My phone chirps with another text. Speak of the devil…
Time for step two.
“Griff,” I start before Cody knocks on my door, “don’t judge me for whatever happens here, okay?”
He knows the plan, and although I said I was okay with it, I feel a little guilty about fooling around with Talon while Cody and I are still whatever we are.
A soft knock comes at the door again, and I have to take a deep breath before I can open it. Cody hasn’t seen me, though he heard about my disappearance.
That made the news.
Unlocking the door, I pull it open, and Cody’s eyes grow then narrow. The bruises on my neck have faded to an ugly yellow, but they cover almost all of it still. My left eye is still a little bloodshot, and the cut on my temple is scabbed over.
His hands shoot up as if to cradle my face and I flinch, even though I’ve been trying to get better about it. I have to remind myself that I’m not scared of Cody, and Griffin is watching my back, literally.
Cody makes a noise between frustration and anguish. His eyes scan what he can see of my body, and his hands twitch.
“Cinny-Mae,” he chokes, and the action makes my stomach sink. Pity, the one thing I didn’t want or need.
“I’m fine,” I stand taller and make sure my voice doesn’t waver, “and you can’t come here anymore.”
“What?” He steps closer to me and Griffin moves, catching Cody’s eyes, “you can’t be serious.”
“I won’t be allowed visitors anymore,” I tell him, exactly how I’m supposed to. Cody was the only one, besides Gemma, who came to see me. Since I would no longer be living here, I needed him to stay away.
“Who is he?” Cody asks, nodding to Griff.
“He’s my…” I panic, almost calling him my father, “bodyguard.”
“I can tell whatever happened was serious, Cinny, but a bodyguard on a locked campus?” He scoffs and runs a hand through his shaggy mane. “What about us ?”
I wasn’t prepared for this question so soon. Mama and I didn’t prepare anything for that. Because what were we before spring break?
“I’m not sure what you mean,” I look past him into the hall, hoping Gemma will come save me.
“Bullshit, you don’t know what I mean,” his voice starts to take on an edge, “we’re together, always have been.”
I shake my head and hold up my hands, giving him my palms, “we never had a conversation about that, Cody.”
“I didn’t think we had to, all the times we were together,” he lets loose a frustrated breath, and my heart beats against my ribs as his eyes turn glassy. “I thought we were falling in love.”
“Cody,” I close my eyes and blink slowly, “I don’t want to continue this anymore.”
A tear escapes his eye and trails down his cheek as if I’m breaking his heart. But I can’t be. I just… can’t. We were never serious, just friends, reconnecting and kissing occasionally.
Nothing like how I feel when I’m with Talon.
“Wait,” he says, as Griff starts toward him, “I won’t come here, not until you ask me back, but we’re still friends, right?”
“Yeah, we’re friends,” I tell him, “I’m not saying I don’t want to be friends, Cody. I just don’t think it's right for me to continue hooking up with you when you clearly feel more for me than I do for you. It’s not fair of me.”
“Okay,” he says in a small voice, turning to leave, he gives me a sad smile, “I’m glad you’re okay, Cinny-Mae.”
Griffin shuts the door and gestures for me to wait.
Step Two, done.
Now, the hardest step, getting me into the boys’ dorm without anyone seeing.