Chapter 16
CHAPTER 16
C ole
I pull my truck into the yard and park it up. There are lights showing in my apartment windows. Despite being weary, I feel a flutter in my chest. Does that mean Johan is still there?
I run lightly up the stairs and burst through the door. It’s warm and light, and there’s a delicious smell.
Vin crashes into me excitedly, Roffe jumping round him. Johan is sitting on a stool at the breakfast bar reading, and looks up with a smile.
Putting down his book he stands. “I hope you don’t mind. I wanted to make sure the dogs were okay, and I thought you might be hungry. As I didn’t know what time you’d be back, I made a casserole so it would keep…” He trails off.
I am aware I’m just staring at him.
“If you want I can go.”
That galvanises my body into action, one I’m powerless to stop. I cross the room to him. Taking his face in my hands I press my lips to his. A kiss I’ve been thinking of all day, so it’s no surprise my subconscious mind takes over.
“Please stay.” I croak out as I pull away.
My stomach rumbles.
“Have you eaten?” Johan looks concerned and grips my shoulders, watching me intently.
I shake my head.
“Not even lunch?”
“I didn’t have time.”
“Did you hydrate?”
“Yeah, I’m drowning in coffee.” Home calls always mean lots of coffee; it’s usually how I manage to get through the day.
“Well, sit down. I’ll get you something to eat.”
“Can I shower first?” I feel dusty and dirty. I’ve knelt in stables and dirt and cleaned all sorts of wounds, and am probably covered in all sorts of bodily fluids.
“Of course.” He releases me and I stagger off to the bathroom.
The shower goes some way to reviving me, but I don’t linger as my stomach rumbles again. I dry quickly and dress in sweatpants and a t-shirt. When I enter the main room I see that Johan has set the table—a large dish sits in the centre as well as some freshly steamed vegetables. I sink down into one of the chairs and he puts a beer in front of me.
“This smells amazing.” I can hardly keep from salivating as he ladles some onto my plate. I reach for the vegetables.
“It’s my dad’s speciality,” he answers, “He always made it for us if we were feeling a bit run down. I thought it would suit if you were out all day.”
I take a mouthful, and then another and another. I don’t stop until I have finished my plate.
“I guess it meets your approval.” He chuckles as I finally sit back and wash it down with a beer.
He starts to clear the dishes away. I follow him to the kitchen area and lean against the counter while he starts to wash up.
“Why don’t you sit down and relax.” He calls over his shoulder, arms deep in the washing-up bowl.
“I don’t want to relax.” I edge closer to him and he casts a look at me.
“What do you want to do?” I hand him a towel as he turns round and leans back against the sink.
“Can we?” I take a breath. “Can we do what we did last night?”
“I would like that,” Johan says quietly, “But can I suggest some modifications?”
“Modifications?” I’m not sure I understand.
He comes closer. Placing a finger under my jaw he tilts my head up and brushes a kiss across my lips. As soon as his touch is gone, I lick my lips, trying to taste him.
“As much as I appreciate the loan of your underwear, my arse is several sizes bigger than yours and I’d rather not feel like my ballsack is being cut in half every time I bend over. So I suggest we have fewer clothes this time.”
He smiles at me. It isn’t a look I’ve seen before but I like it. Feeling emboldened, I take his hand and lead him towards the bedroom. As soon as I shut the door my confidence drains away and I start pacing. He stands near the door, waiting, for what I’m not sure. Probably for me to explain myself. I come to a stop in front of him, running a hand through my hair and down to rub my neck.
“I’ve never done this before. I’ve never done anything before, with anyone.” I start pacing again. “Last night was the first time.”
“Would you like me to go?” he says quietly, not moving.
“No! Please stop saying that.” I snap and throw myself down on the bed, my head in my hands.
I feel his hands on mine as he gently eases them away from my face.
“Cole.” He waits until I eventually look at him and then sits down next to me on the bed. “I don’t want to go, but I am aware that you find some situations very difficult. I never want you to feel that way because of me. I never want to be the cause of your distress.”
“You make me feel things. I’ve never felt like that before. I want to feel like this more, but I, I don’t want to be bad at it. I don’t have any experience. I don’t want you to not want to do things with me because I don’t know how.”
“Oh, baby,” he croons, running a hand down my face. “Experience doesn’t matter to me. You’ve captivated me since I first saw you. We’ll do whatever you are comfortable with. We’ll go at your speed, always.”
He takes one of my hands and lifts it to his mouth. As he places a kiss on each fingertip, I shiver despite myself.
“I want you to understand.” He places a kiss to my palm and my hand tingles. “That at any time you want to stop, you can say so.” He kisses my wrist and the tingle runs down my arm. “If you want to say no, it will be fine with me.” He gazes at me. “Do you understand?”
I nod, but he still watches me, so I whisper, “Yes.”
He smiles slightly and drops his head to lick my wrist. It feels like a current is running through my body and I gasp.
“Do you like music?”
I nod. “If it’s not too loud and jangly.”
“Can I put some on?”
Another nod, because I don’t think I can form words right now.
He stands up, and as he turns away from me, he pulls his t-shirt off and I get a good view of his back. His tattoos ripple as he pulls out his phone. I have the overwhelming urge to touch him, to trace every one of the beautiful patterns adorning his torso.
He places his phone on the dresser and faces me. The soft notes of a song start playing. I don’t know it but it sounds old, soulful.
Tonight, you’re mine completely,
You give your love so sweetly,
My breath catches in my throat at the words, but I don’t hear the rest as he holds out a hand and beckons me to him. As I take his hand he lifts mine up to place it round his neck and he softly wraps his arms round my waist, pulling me close. He bends down to kiss me; it’s gentle and I feel my churned insides settle a little. I reach up with my other hand and release the band holding his hair, and it tumbles down to his shoulders. It feels soft and I tangle my fingers in it. His hands move to my hips as he starts swaying his in time to the music. As I catch the rhythm of the song, I lock my hips with his and he pulls me closer. I can feel his dick pressing into me and my own cock hardens with the added friction.
He pushes my shirt up and I lift my arms so he can pull it over my head. I hold the back of his neck and reach my head up to kiss him, but after one light touch he drops his mouth to my shoulder. His hands smooth over my chest as he starts to move round me, his lips trailing across the back of my shoulder and to my neck. He stands behind me and with one hand flat on my stomach he runs the other down over my waistband and brushes his fingers down the bulge in my sweatpants.
My breath hitches and I hear a satisfied grunt as he cups my erection with his hand and pushes his own hardness against my arse. I don’t think I can remember my own name with the feeling of being sandwiched between the pressure, and when he squeezes his hand round my cock, I whimper. He emits a low chuckle, his warm breath on my neck. I shudder. I’m going to come soon. I don’t want to, not in my boxer briefs again. I wriggle a little trying to ease the pressure. Johan drops to his knees and the sudden loss of contact from his hand and dick causes me to groan. He guides me to turn round to face him and he looks up at me with a smile. He quickly slides my sweatpants and boxer briefs down my legs, freeing my aching erection. I step out of my clothes and kick them aside. Johan runs his thumb over my end, wiping off the precum leaking from it and I twitch at his touch. He licks his thumb and hums.
“Fuck, Cole, I knew you’d taste good.”
Before I can process that, his mouth is on me, his hands on my ass. A lick up my shaft has me following his tongue when he takes it away, only to have it replaced with his mouth. I inhale sharply and grasp his shoulders to stop my knees buckling. He takes it all in and the encompassing pressure I feel is almost too much. He draws back, his tongue swirling round the head before he pushes back to take it whole again. He does it again and I dig my nails into his shoulders, my orgasm ripping out of me. He keeps his mouth in place, taking every drop, holding me until I stop shaking.
As the exquisite feeling subsides, another takes over; it’s unwelcome but I cannot stop it.
“Oh no!” Disappointment floods through me. “It was over too soon, I wasn’t good enough.” Tears of frustration well up and I feel ridiculous standing naked, holding onto Johan, with him on his knees. Even the music is grating on me now. I release him, turning away, and wanting to hide, but he’s up in an instant, enveloping me in his arms.
“Ssssh, baby,” he whispers into my hair, his hand rubbing up and down my back, “What’s wrong? Talk to me.”
His touch is soothing and it takes a minute before I can speak.
“I feel stupid that I couldn’t last more than five seconds.”
“Oh Cole,” he gives me a squeeze. “You lasted a lot longer than my first time. I didn’t even get as far as that. One touch of his lips and I shot my load all over his face. It takes practice, and we can do plenty of that.”
His words make me feel a bit better but I’m sad that it has ended.
“I just don’t want it to be over.”
“Over?” he places his fingers under my jaw and tilts down to kiss me. “I’m just getting started.”
He kisses me again, and whispers, “Come here,” before leading me to the bed.
“Lie down.” I comply but I still feel a bit unsettled, despite Johan’s words. I try and relax, keeping my breathing even, desperately hoping that it doesn’t turn into a panic attack. But that nearly goes out the window when Johan undresses. Johan is a big guy, six-four to my five-eleven, but I guess I didn’t think he would be so much larger in all ways.
“Johan!” I blurt out as he clambers out of his jeans. His brow furrows as he looks at me.
“I can see where the expression hung like a horse comes from!”
He glances down at himself and then shrugs, the corners of his mouth lifting.
My breath is starting to race and I’m almost going to lose it again.
“I… I mean… I know the mechanics of all this but I’m not sure that I… It’s so big!” I gesture wildly to his enormous cock.
He lies down next to me and cups my face with one hand.
“Cole, you’re overthinking this. Just look at me and breathe.”
I force my breathing to slow but I still can’t fully quell the constricting feeling across my chest.
Johan brushes a thumb gently across my lips. “I meant it when I said we will never do anything that you’re not one hundred percent happy with.”
“But what if I never…”
“Shhh, love.” He plants a kiss on my forehead. “Let’s just go one step at a time. I know it’s hard for that amazing brain of yours to slow down enough to do that, but can you try?”
I nod. I’m not sure I can do it but I can try. That seems to satisfy him as he smiles. “Now, I believe there are parts of you I haven’t kissed yet.”
He feathers kisses across my jaw and down my neck. I try and concentrate on the feel of them as he runs a hand down my ribs and rests it on my hip. I melt into his touch.
His lips find my nipple, and my stomach flutters. As his tongue flicks across my nub, I lose myself to the sensation. My back arches seeking more pressure, and he obliges, drawing out a groan from me. A split second of awareness registers surprise, and then I’m lost again as he trails across my chest to my other nipple. All too soon he kisses down my stomach and across to my ribs.
“Turn over,” he whispers, and I shift until I’m lying face down. I feel him sit astride me, but not resting his full weight on me. His large, warm hands travel up my spine and then he leans forward until his mouth is close to my ear.
“Do you understand how truly beautiful you are?”
I hope he doesn’t want an answer. I can’t speak right now as I feel his cock resting on my arse. Despite my concern over the size of it, the weight of it resting along my crease is arousing. I move slightly to accommodate my own increasing stiffness.
I almost cry out as the heaviness of it is removed, and I hear a low chuckle as Johan lowers himself to kiss there instead. His mouth traces across my butt cheek and then he slowly licks up my crease. My arse lifts, wanting more, demanding more. He spreads my cheeks and I feel the warm wetness of his tongue around my hole. He teases across it, gaining in pressure and then he dips inside, pushing his tongue in and out with a steady rhythm that makes my now hard cock ache to be touched. He runs a stiffened tongue up my taint and I twitch violently, nearly coming there and then.
“Fuck.” I shout, which earns me another pressured lick. I reach for my cock, desperate to relieve the almost painful ache, but Johan pulls my hand away with a breathy “not yet.”
He holds my wrist to stop me trying again, and returns his attention to my pucker with slightly less intensity, helping bring me back down. My panting subsides and I’m almost breathing normally again when he stops with his tongue, kisses each of my arse cheeks and lifts off me. I’m still hard but the need to deal with it has diminished.
I twist around to see where he’s gone, and he is kneeling next to me grinning.
“I knew you could do it, that was fantastic.”
I smile back at him, happy with his praise, but glance at his very obvious erection. He catches my look and raises an eyebrow at me.
“Want to help me with that?”
“Please.” I mumble.
I lay on my back and he sits astride me again. He’s leaking precum and I run my fingers over the head, distributing it. That earns me a hiss and I stop, concerned I’ve done something wrong.
“Don’t stop, baby,” Johan says through gritted teeth. Was the hiss a good noise? I carry on and he relaxes slightly, letting out a sigh.
“Hold out your hand,” he instructs, while he reaches for a tube of lube that had been lying on the bed. I don’t know when he put it there but I like that he’s prepared. He places his hand underneath mine while he squirts some lube into my palm, then he guides my hand to his length. At first he sets the pace, but after a while he removes his hand and I carry on.
He closes his eyes and tips his head back slightly, “Mmmm baby, that’s so good.” My own cock, which had been softening slightly, grows hard again and I reach for it. Johan opens his eyes and looks down at my hand. He reaches for the lube again, and squirts some down my shaft as my hand rubs up and down. Throwing the lube down he places his hands over mine, and shifting slightly, pushes my hands so our cocks are touching.
The pressure of my cock against his, with my hands sandwiched between his hands, is more than I can stand, but he doesn’t let me remove my hands, and keeps up with the relentless rhythm.
“Jo… I… Can’t… ”
“It’s alright baby, come for me.” he gasps. “Come for me now.”
I jerk and come all over my chest. His hands move mine a couple more times and then his release joins mine.
He moves to one side and lies down next to me, breathing heavily. I turn onto my side to look at him. He smooths the hair back from my face.
“Thank you baby, that was incredible.” He gets up and disappears into the bathroom for a moment, coming back with a washcloth. He cleans up the mess and then, lying down again, he draws me close and I tuck my head into his shoulder. I marvel in a detached way at how quiet my head is, how all the thoughts that usually tumble over themselves have gone away for now. The stillness is blissfully euphoric, and I want it to last forever. However, I know my brain will reboot and start processing all this soon, but right now I just want to be held by him.