Chapter 27
Sawyer
She won’t even answer my stupid text checking to see if she made it home safely.
What the hell is this?
How can she be so fucking tender, touching me…caressing me…
But she acts like I don’t exist for the rest of the week?
Am I back in high school?
Maybe I need to ask the only person I really know will be honest with me?
I manage to catch him in the barn, saddling his horse. “Hey, Ford? Got a minute?”
He pauses, turning his gray eyes on me over his shoulder. “Is it an emergency? I’m on my way to the north pasture for a fence run.”
Is it?
I kick at a clump of hay twine near the corner. “I dunno,” I mumble.
But he stops what he’s doing and tilts up his dark broad-brimmed hat. “Okay, kid. What’s up?”
How should I word it?
I’m not even sure—
“Sawyer,” he growls. “Either ask, or I’m heading out. Spill it.”
“Why is Val afraid of a relationship?” I blurt out.
And immediately regret it when I watch his jaw clench and lips thin.
He takes a step closer and his finger comes up to jab me in the chest. “Why in the fuck are you asking about her? Her past is her business.”
In the past, I’d back away.
I need to know.
“Because I care about her,” I admit quietly. “She’s keeping me at arm’s length and I don’t know why.”
All I’ve heard are vague mutterings, and Ford is usually mentioned too.
“Were you guys—” I swallow hard, hating the image that springs into my head. “—a thing?”
When he shakes his head, relief floods through me.
And confusion.
“Then why—”
Pain tightens the crow’s feet around his eyes. “Sawyer, I have a kid now. I’m trying not to live in the past.”
I guess I’m all in on this conversation. “But she’s my future.” I’m sure of it. “I want to know how to help her.”
His mouth and cheek curl as he squints at me. “You can’t be serious? You and her are like oil and fucking water, boy.”
He moves back to his horse, pulling the belly strap for the saddle under and cinching it tightly.
“Have your fun, but don’t expect white picket fences. Val’s had a shitty run, too,” he says against his gelding’s flanks. “I know you were young when Sarah—” He chokes on the name. “—died. But that night changed a lot of us.”
I know enough about it.
Sarah was Ford’s girlfriend. Her brutal murder was whispered about for years in school.
“I get why you’re upset. What does it have to do with Val?” There’s this gnawing need in my gut to find the answer.
I’d do anything to have her let me in.
“Sawyer,” he grits through his teeth. “Leave it.”
He sounds like he’s telling his dog to drop a bone.
I’m more determined.
My voice climbs in a mix of anger and frustration. “Please? How in the hell can I help her if—”
Ford spins so quickly he’s almost a blur. “Sarah was her best friend. Chris was her husband. And he was part of the group of fucking monsters who killed Sarah!” His seething tirade finishes with him inches from me.
All of the pieces snap into place.
Holy shit.
“Where is he?” I barely squeak out.
Ford takes a shaky breath and runs his palm over his face, backing slowly away. “Chris? He’s gone.”
The finality in his tone keeps me from asking further.
Maybe I don’t want to know how he’s so firm with his answer?
He tightens up the last strap on his saddle, then pulls the reins so he can bunch them in his fist. “You want my advice? Ease the hell up and earn her trust. It took me a long time to learn there’s no fast track through it.
But the love of a steady person works wonders.
” For the first time, his features soften.
“Then it’ll be the best thing you’ve ever had. ”
Tipping his hat in a short nod, he leads his horse out of the barn.
That’s great and all. But how do I let her build up trust if she doesn’t let me in at all?
I guess I need to just chill out.
We’ve only been sleeping together for two weeks. I shouldn’t be in such a hurry, right?
Except every day that passes has me wanting her more.
With a sigh that clouds the air in front of me, I follow Ford out into the snowy yard.