Chapter 7
Bobby attempted to put the letter out of her head as she joined her friends. Perhaps it had been a mistake. It was an easy thing to muddle one piece of waste paper with another. Perhaps Charlie had even concealed it on purpose so he could surprise her. There were a hundred innocent explanations.
What a fine thing it would be for him, though – the DFC!
He would be invited to Buckingham Palace, and be decorated by the king himself.
They would be able to show the medal to Marmaduke one day, and he would be proud to know what a brave man his father was.
It might even help Charlie find work. The award was widely respected in the civilian as well as the military world.
‘Birdy, you look a million miles away.’ Topsy patted the settee in Bobby’s small, neat parlour. ‘Sit by me.’
Jolka had claimed the armchair, and was engaged in pouring them each a cup of tea. Bobby sat down by Topsy, smiling.
She could understand why Charlie resented this intrusion.
After spending much of their early married life apart, he jealously guarded their precious Saturday afternoons.
Bobby, too, looked forward to those contented, peaceful hours in his arms, when the world and its wars could be shut out for a while.
Still, it was a treat to spend time with her female friends during what Charlie called their ‘mothers’ meetings’.
‘It is a shame we do not have Lilian,’ Jolka observed. Lil usually made up the fourth in their group of young wives. ‘It was on the edge of the moment that we decided to pay a visit. Topsy is bursting with news for you, Bobby.’
‘What is this news?’ Bobby asked. Topsy did seem to be bouncing in her seat, filled with girlish glee at having a secret.
‘Well, darling, it’s actually a whole lot of news, and all of it jolly exciting,’ Topsy said. ‘But I shall save the part that concerns you for last, because I know how you like to tease Charlie out of his glum moods with a little healthy jealousy.’
Jolka handed Bobby a cup of tea. ‘How does he do?’
Jolka and Topsy had airmen husbands of their own, both of whom had suffered dramatic experiences in the sky, so Bobby felt no bashfulness confiding in them. They knew what it was to live with a man damaged by war.
‘Better, I think,’ she said. ‘He still sleeps restlessly, but the neurasthenia attacks aren’t so frequent. Still, I suppose it will be a long time before his brain understands he isn’t in danger any more.’
‘If it ever does,’ Topsy said soberly. As a nurse at the airmen’s hospital at Sumner House, and with a burnt and disabled husband at home, she had encountered more horrors than most.
‘His moods are improved, I’m sure,’ Bobby said. ‘The hardest thing for him is not having any paid work. I know he feels like he’s failing as a husband, keeping house while I’m supporting us.’
Jolka nodded. ‘Men can be sensitive about playing what they see as the woman’s part. Yet it is not Charlie’s fault that the war has made it impossible to do the work he is trained for.’
‘It’s still humiliating for him, feeling he isn’t doing his duty as head of the house.’ She sighed. ‘I know it’s wrong to look back, but I do miss my days in the WAAF sometimes. Not only the important work I was doing, but the way it allowed me to live.’
‘I suppose it is not unusual for ex-servicewomen to feel this way,’ Jolka said, sipping her tea. ‘Many will not have experienced independent living before.’
‘It isn’t only that. It’s the way we all sort of…
mucked in, you know?’ A smile flickered on Bobby’s lips as she thought back to her brief but happy career in the WAAF.
‘Some of the women could be toffee-nosed, but mostly everyone was happy to do their share. We all took our turn on fatigues, and we divided up chores in our billets equally. I’ve been keeping a home since I was fourteen but I’d never experienced that sort of communal living.
It does make it harder to accept the housewife’s lot when the military drops you back on Civvy Street. ’
‘For too many wives, a home can be a prison,’ Jolka said soberly.
‘Always for women, the world would try to make us be what we are at the expense of who we are. Still, I do not fear for you, Bobby. You are strong, and your husband loves and respects you.’ She leaned forward to press Bobby’s hand.
‘But for as long as you are able, earn your own money. Always find a way to do this, no matter how little. It is an absence of financial independence that traps women in the home. Even to happy wives, I would say this.’
‘That’s good advice,’ Bobby said, thinking of the letter she had posted earlier. ‘But tell me all your news. Is Piotr still at Ryland Moor?’
Jolka’s husband Piotr, formerly an air gunner with a Polish bomber squadron, was one of the lucky few who had managed to survive a full tour of operations. Having completed the required thirty missions, he had been transferred to an instructor position ten miles away.
Jolka smiled. ‘He is. Tommy is delighted to see his father so often.’
‘Will he apply for a second tour?’
‘He talked of it, but I believe something I told him recently may have changed his mind.’
‘What was that?’
Jolka didn’t answer. She only smiled, and rested one hand on her stomach.
‘Oh. Oh!’ Bobby jumped up to give her friend a hug. ‘That’s wonderful news! I’m thrilled for you, Jolka.’
‘I told you we were brimming with exciting news, didn’t I?’ Topsy said triumphantly. ‘Jolka let it slip when she brought over some tablecloths she borrowed. Of course we simply had to rush into the village and tell you. We’ll call on Lilian on the way home, then everyone in our little gang knows.’
‘You were very sly not to have told me right away, letting me chatter on about myself.’ Bobby held Jolka back to look at her beaming face. ‘When is the baby due?’
‘In five months. I did not wish to make it public until the most dangerous time had passed.’
Five months! That meant Jolka’s baby and Marmaduke would arrive at nearly the same time. Bobby longed to tell her friends that she, too, had news to share, but she would have to hold on to her secret just a little longer.
‘Well, I think this calls for something sweet to celebrate,’ she said. ‘I’ve got a little fruit cake I’ve been saving for a special occasion. I can’t think of any more special than this.’
‘Oh no, please,’ Jolka said. ‘We would not take your precious cake.’
‘Nonsense, I insist.’
Bobby went to fetch the cake tin and served them each a small slice.
There was silence as each woman sank her teeth into the treat. You learned to savour sweet things in wartime.
‘However will you manage your painting with two young children, Jolka?’ Topsy asked when she had swallowed her morsel of cake.
Jolka shrugged. It was clear that the idea of combining work with motherhood didn’t worry her the way it did Bobby.
‘There may be a little expense, if I find I cannot manage the house alone and need to pay for some outside help, but we are able to afford it,’ she said. ‘Still, it is difficult when Piotr must be away from us. I may have to be more selective about the commissions I take.’
‘You wouldn’t give up work for a while?’
‘Oh, no. I would go mad if I did not have my painting.’
‘I know how you feel,’ Bobby said. ‘I couldn’t bear not to have something to do with my brain. I hope I’ll never be in a position where I have to give up writing entirely.’
‘Things go well at your work?’
‘I’m to be promoted actually,’ Bobby told them with some pride. ‘Reg is taking a step back and making me deputy editress.’
Jolka raised an eyebrow. ‘Indeed? And your brother-in-law, he will work under you?’
‘Yes. That’s the part that’s worrying me,’ Bobby said, pulling a face. ‘Tony’s never been good at taking orders, and when it’s a woman giving them… I just hope he can learn to accept the situation.’
‘You must make him accept it,’ Jolka said firmly. ‘No doubt he will attempt to undermine you, but ultimately he must accept that you are in charge or seek another position.’
‘He’s my brother-in-law, Jolka. I wouldn’t want him to lose his job, for my sister and niece’s sake.’
‘Yes, this is a consideration. Just make sure that when he challenges you, he is challenged right back. Be alert for little things that undermine your authority.’
It was sensible advice. But how far should she push back against Tony, given that she would have to leave her position soon? She didn’t want to push him so hard that he resigned.
Bobby nodded to the last morsel of Jolka’s fruit cake. ‘Don’t forget your celebration cake. I’m sure it’s supposed to bring luck to the baby or something.’
Jolka smiled as she popped it into her mouth. ‘These days, I like to make the sweet things last.’
Topsy arched an eyebrow at Bobby. ‘I must say, Birdy, I think it’s high time you and Charlie started making beautiful, clever babies as well. You can’t leave it all to Piotr and Jolka.’
Jolka laughed. ‘Perhaps they might, Topsy, if their friends were not so rude as to turn up when they are… ahem. Recovering from headaches.’
Bobby could feel her cheeks pinkening and hastily shifted the focus of the conversation.
‘What about you, Topsy?’ she said. ‘Have you and Teddy gone any further with plans to adopt a child?’
Topsy tossed back her tea gloomily. ‘What point is there, when we can barely fit ourselves into that tiny cottage? Already I feel horrendously guilty that poor Maimie is sleeping in such a small room.’ Maimie Hobbes was Topsy’s former nanny, who in retirement lived with her one-time charge as a companion.
‘I’m glad the big house is helping those boys get better but it is frustrating, to be lady of the manor and all that rot while I’m having to live like a… a shepherdess or something.’
Bobby laughed. ‘More like the little goose girl, with Norman and his family filling the place up.’
‘What of the other house you own – Woodside Nook?’ Jolka asked. ‘That is bigger, is it not?’
‘Yes, but it’s ever so draughty, and hardly in the healthiest environment in the middle of a damp wood,’ Topsy said. ‘It wouldn’t do Teddy any good, and it would be dreadful for Maimie’s arthritis.’ She sighed. ‘Poor old Maimie. I really ought to take better care of her now she’s getting older.’
‘She isn’t so very old, is she?’ Bobby asked.
‘She’s not fifty yet. Still, she gets a lot of aches and pains, and I feel guilty about every one of them. I wish this bally war would just end, then I can have my house back, Maimie can be comfortable and we can start filling the place with children as Teddy and I long to.’
‘How strange it will be when the war is over,’ Jolka said, rather dreamily. ‘I have only known this house of yours as a hospital, Topsy. It feels odd to imagine it without men and nurses.’
‘It will be strange,’ Bobby agreed. ‘And happy too, of course. Still, I’ve got used to seeing uniforms in the village, and hearing London accents whenever I pass the playground. There’ll be an empty feeling when our wartime guests go away.’
‘This is true, yet I would not wish another day of war. I would so desire my children to grow up in peace, and be taken to see our country free once more.’
‘I hope it’s soon,’ Topsy said fervently. ‘It’s what Teddy wants more than anything: to go back to Warsaw, and find his parents and siblings.’
There was a moment’s silence as a thought too grim to be spoken hovered between them – that when Teddy Nowak was able to return to his native country, there may be no loved ones there for him to find.
His family were Slavs, and of some Jewish descent.
If they had been taken to one of Hitler’s monstrous camps…
but it was too bleak even to think such a thing, let alone voice it.
‘I miss our pantomime this year,’ Jolka said after a moment, obviously deciding a jollier subject was needed. ‘How do rehearsals for Dick Whittington go, Topsy?’
At this time last year, all three women had been involved in the pantomime Topsy had organised for the village children. Bobby had played Cinderella and Jolka had been her Prince Charming, while Topsy had been producer, director, financier and generally in charge. It seemed a lifetime ago.
Neither Bobby nor Jolka were involved in this year’s production.
Bobby would have loved to be in the cast, but rehearsals had already been well advanced when she returned from the WAAF.
Besides, she had always been prone to stage fright, and she wasn’t certain that was going to mix well with pregnancy nausea.
Jolka had told Topsy she was too busy with work, but now they knew her secret, Bobby wondered if the same thought had been troubling her.
‘Well I don’t think it’s a patch on last year, when we had the pair of you contributing your talents,’ Topsy said, somewhat accusingly. ‘We’re desperately short of men this time too. Still, it’s looking good in spite of having to make do.’
‘I hope I can be part of it if we put on another next year,’ Bobby said wistfully. ‘No doubt you’re going to be very smug reminding me how you had to twist my arm to do it, Topsy, but I loved being Cinderella.’
‘I shall have to bow out again, I suppose,’ Jolka said. ‘It is a shame, but with a new baby I will struggle to find time.’
Bobby stifled a sigh as she thought that she, too, would be in that position. How different her world would look by then!
‘You don’t know how close you both came to being drafted in this year,’ Topsy said, putting down her teacup.
‘I was badly let down by the airman playing Idle Jack, who rudely allowed himself to be discharged from the hospital two weeks ago. I know it’s usually a male role, but I’d gladly have taken anyone who could learn the part. ’
‘You managed to find someone then?’ Bobby asked.
‘I did.’
‘Is it another airman?’
‘Yes, but not one of those in the hospital.’ Topsy grinned. ‘That was the news I brought especially for you, Bobby. You’ll never guess who’s back in his old billet.’
Bobby felt a stab of worry. She asked the question she knew Topsy was longing her to ask, even though she suspected she already knew the answer.
‘Who?’
‘Who do you think? It’s Ernie King, of course.’