Chapter 30
Jake and Kathleen’s wedding was a quiet affair: just the bride and groom, with Bobby and Charlie as witnesses.
The groom was in the same crumpled battledress he had been wearing since he arrived, and Kathleen wore a loaned twinset and skirt: the outfit Bobby had adjusted for Mabs Jessop’s wedding when she had been at a similar point in her pregnancy.
Celebrations could follow another time, when it would feel more appropriate.
And yet, rushed though the whole thing was, it was as moving a wedding as Bobby had ever been to.
She didn’t often cry at weddings but she cried at this one, even though the ceremony barely lasted ten minutes.
The young couple’s eyes were so filled with love as they said their vows that she couldn’t help letting slip a tear.
Charlie smiled at her as they waited for Jake and Kathleen to sign the register.
‘They grow up so fast, eh?’ he whispered.
‘I’m just glad it’s done with,’ Bobby whispered back. ‘Nothing says true love like a race against the clock to legitimise your baby.’
‘Don’t pretend to be cynical. I saw you having a little weep.’
‘You looked rather damp around the eyes yourself, come to that,’ Bobby said with a smile.
‘Well. They’re sweet, aren’t they?’ Charlie’s gaze drifted to the young couple. ‘They ought to be happy together.’
‘Yes, it’s worked out as well as it could given the circumstances.’ Bobby glanced at him. ‘Thanks, Charlie.’
‘For what?’
‘For being so helpful with my family crisis, getting the wedding arranged. You’ve been a real pillar of strength.’
‘Well, your family’s my family. I’m sure you’d have done the same for my brother if he’d turned up with a pregnant girlfriend and the Redcaps on his tail.’
She laughed. ‘What, Reg?’
‘All right, if I had another brother.’
Bobby looked up into his face. ‘Are you OK, love? You were a little quiet on the bus.’
‘I’m OK. Just in a thoughtful sort of mood.’
‘What are you thinking about?’
The newlyweds had done their bit now, and the registrar was beckoning Bobby and Charlie over.
‘We’ll talk about it later,’ Charlie said, taking her arm. ‘Let’s get your brother on a train first, then I can have you to myself again.’
Bobby felt nervous as the four of them made their way to her dad’s cottage afterwards.
She couldn’t help thinking about the awful row she’d had with her father the day she’d broken the news that Lilian was not only married to Tony Scott but also several months pregnant with his baby.
Yes, Lilian was a girl and her father naturally more protective.
Yes, Tony had seemed a poor choice for a son-in-law at the time.
But weighed against that was Rob’s affection for Lilian, which Bobby had been confident would ultimately overcome his disappointment.
He had never been as close to Jake, for exactly the reasons she and her brother had discussed last night.
Her dad was there to greet them when they knocked on the door of the cottage by the beck that was his new home.
Maimie was beside him with Norman in her arms, and Lilian, who had gone over earlier to smooth the way, was next to her: cradling Annie in much the same way as her stepmother was cradling her pet goose.
If Bobby hadn’t been so anxious, she wouldn’t have been able to avoid laughing at the scene.
But her anxiety was alleviated when her dad stepped forward and shook Jake vigorously by the hand.
‘Good to see you, son,’ he said in his heartiest voice. ‘Why don’t you write, eh? But never mind that now. Your sister tells me congratulations are in order.’
Jake looked dazed by his father’s enthusiastic greeting. ‘Um, well, I got married this morning.’ Kathleen was gripping his hand, and he gave her a little nudge. ‘This is Kathleen Brady, my— no, that’s not right, is it? Kathleen Bancroft, now. My, um, my wife.’
‘Welcome to the family, love.’ Rob pressed her hand warmly.
‘It’s very nice to meet you,’ Kathleen said. ‘Jake told me he had a lovely family. I thought he must be exaggerating, but he wasn’t a bit.’
‘Here, come and meet another Mrs Bancroft. That’s my missus.’ Rob guided Kathleen proudly to Mrs-Hobbes-as-was, who smiled and nodded with utmost affability. Marriage seemed to agree with her almost as well as it did with her new husband.
‘Is that the Sunday dinner?’ Jake asked, nodding to Norman in her arms.
‘Nay, young man, that’s your new stepbrother,’ Maimie told him. ‘Say hello, Norman.’
Norman honked in disgust, making Bobby laugh. He was the only resident of Silverdale who never changed. Jake laughed too, and consented to be brought forward by his father for an introduction to his stepmother. Bobby exchanged a smile with Lilian as she followed the others into the house.
‘Well, lad, I think we’ve time for a smoke before we eat,’ Rob said to Jake, putting an arm around his son’s shoulders. ‘We’ll leave young Charlie to squire the women while me and thee have a little talk, father to son.’
‘I’d like that. Ta, Dad.’ Jake smiled gratefully at him. ‘I mean, really, thanks for everything.’
Lilian nudged her sister as they watched the two men disappear into their dad’s study.
‘Straight to bed, I think,’ Charlie said when he and Bobby arrived home. ‘I don’t care if it’s barely five o’clock. I’ve never felt more in need of an early night.’
They had seen Jake and his new wife safely on board the bus into Skipton after dinner, the envelope containing Jake’s share of the money from the house sale now stashed in Kathleen’s purse.
The girl couldn’t have looked happier if she’d married into the royal family, with this unexpected windfall, the warm welcome she had received from the Bancroft clan and of course her long-desired new surname.
‘All right but don’t get any ideas,’ Bobby warned her husband. ‘I’m so exhausted I think my knees have stopped working.’
‘What I had in mind wouldn’t have involved your knees.’
She smiled. ‘I can manage a cuddle. That’s all I’m good for today, I’m afraid.’
Charlie massaged his forehead. ‘I think it might be all I’m good for as well, sadly.’
‘I ought to make tea first,’ Bobby murmured. She felt like she barely had energy to open her lips after all the drama of the last few days.
‘Why, are you hungry?’
‘Not really. I ate plenty at dinner.’
‘Then rest first. I can make sandwiches later for a supper.’
Bobby glanced around the parlour. It felt strangely bare, now Jake had gone. As dramatic as it had been, she had rather relished having a little brother who needed her help. She had always thrived in a crisis, and it had given her something to focus on other than worry about having the baby.
‘It feels quiet without the children, doesn’t it?’ she said dreamily.
Charlie smiled. ‘I’m not sure how your brother and his wife would feel about being called “the children” at twenty-one.’
‘I can’t help it. Jake feels like such a boy still. I suppose mothers always do feel that way, even after their children are grown up.’
‘Go and lie down, darling. You look dead on your feet. I’ll bring you a cup of tea.’
‘Yes. Thank you.’ She could feel her eyes trying to close.
Bobby was asleep almost as soon as her head touched the pillow. She didn’t know how long she slept, but it was dark when she awoke. Charlie lay beside her, leaning on his elbow as he watched her sleep.
‘Oh Lord.’ She rubbed her eyes. ‘How long was I off for?’
‘Well your tea’s gone cold. Do you want another cup?’
‘Mmm. In a minute.’ She rolled on to her side. ‘I’d prefer a cuddle first.’
‘A request I’m always happy to grant.’ He wrapped her in his arms, or as best he could around her big belly.
‘It went well today, didn’t it?’ Bobby mumbled, fighting off the lingering stupor of sleep. ‘My dad and Jake, I mean. Jake and I had a heart-to-heart last night that I think did some good.’
‘I know,’ Charlie said quietly.
Bobby frowned. ‘What?’
‘Sorry, Bob. I couldn’t help overhearing. I woke up when I heard you talking.’
Bobby thought back to her conversation and grimaced.
‘I’m so sorry, Charlie,’ she said. ‘I know I shouldn’t have talked about your problems without discussing it with you. It’s just, Jake admires you. He knows what you did on that last op. I thought it might help him make his peace with everything if he knew our dad’s problems weren’t unique.’
‘I don’t mind. It just made me think, that’s all.’
He drifted into a reverie, rolling on to his back to stare at the ceiling. After a while, Bobby tried to reclaim his attention.
‘What did it make you think about, love?’ she asked.
‘About what you said to Jake. About your dad’s medal.
’ He turned over again to look into her face.
‘And it made me realise… you were right, darling. I ought to go to the palace. Have my picture taken for the papers and everything you wanted. Because it is complicated – heroism and cowardice and all those daft notions that are more storytelling than reality. And because it isn’t really about me, is it? It’s about Marmaduke.’
‘It took overhearing my conversation with Jake to make you realise that?’ Bobby said, shaking her head. ‘I’ve been telling you all that for ages.’
‘I know. Honestly, I thought you were just trying to make me feel better about myself.’
‘I did want you to feel better about yourself, but I still meant every word.’
‘It wasn’t only that, though.’ He ran a hand over the swell of Bobby’s stomach. ‘It was what your brother said. How he’d struggled to understand the way your dad was when he was a kid, and the difference it obviously made when you showed him that medal.’
‘Go on.’
‘When you’re a child, everything’s black and white, isn’t it?
There are heroes and cowards, goodies and baddies, and you play with toy soldiers and dream of the battlefield as if it isn’t something monstrous.
It made me think… I do want our child to admire me.
I’ve never believed I was a hero over and above any other man.
In the thick of things, it felt like I was operating on my instincts rather than any conscious idea of bravery.
’ He met her gaze earnestly. ‘But I always tried to do what was right, Bobby. I fought hard when I was in the RAF to make sure this damn war didn’t brutalise me the way I’ve seen it do to others.
And if that makes me weak or womanly, I’d rather be that kind of weak than the sort of brave that means not having compassion – even if that compassion extends to the enemy as well. ’
Bobby smiled. ‘Which is exactly why I love you.’
‘I hope, one day when Marmaduke’s a man – or a woman, if that’s the way it turns out – that he or she might be able to understand all this,’ Charlie went on.
‘But he won’t be able to understand it when he’s a kid.
He’ll just want to know what Daddy did to help beat the bad guys.
That stuff matters, when you’ve got a head full of stories and a child’s understanding of the world.
I couldn’t bear for him to see me shaking and have that come between us like it did for your dad and Jake.
I couldn’t bear for him not to have a proud story about his old man to tell his grandchildren after I’m gone.
’ His face took on a determined expression.
‘So I’m going to take that gong, and I’m going to have my photograph taken with the king, and one day I’m going to show it to my son.
I’m going to tell him I got it for saving lives, because that’s a damn sight more heroic than taking them.
Because it won’t matter if I felt like a hero sixty years from now when my kid’s an old man, but it’ll matter that I always tried to do what was right.
If he remembers me for anything, I want him to remember me for that. ’
‘Oh Charlie, I am glad.’ Bobby gave him a kiss. ‘I know it isn’t straightforward, when you’ve lost so many friends, but I do think it’s the right thing to do. And I’ll be bursting with pride on behalf of both Marmaduke and myself when I see you invested.’
‘I’m really not sure you should come, Bobby,’ Charlie said, running tender fingers over her stomach. ‘It’s a long way to London.’
‘I’ll check with the doctor first. Would that satisfy you?’
‘I suppose so, if Dick Minchin says it’s all right,’ Charlie said, although still a little doubtfully.
She nestled into his arms. ‘I’m glad you were able to make your peace with the DFC, but words matter too, Charlie. Help Marmaduke to understand when he’s old enough, won’t you? I want him to grow up to be exactly the sort of compassionate, sensitive man his father is.’
Charlie smiled. ‘You didn’t always describe me in such glowing terms. “Irresponsible” is a word I remember you using. “Flirt” is another.’
‘If he grows up to be a flirt then I suppose that’s only to be expected,’ Bobby said, smiling too. ‘But as long as he’s a good man, I can cope with him having an eye for a pretty girl.’
‘Or her having an eye for a handsome lad.’
She laughed. ‘If she does, she didn’t get it from her mother.’
‘I take great offence at that,’ Charlie said, flicking her ear. ‘I think there’s another Marmaduke-related worry you can put to bed now as well, after what I heard last night.’
‘What?’
Charlie brushed her hair back from her face. ‘Whether you’ll be a good mother,’ he said softly.
‘How do you mean?’
‘I heard how you were with your brother, Bob. That mix of tenderness and no-nonsense that was just what he needed. You reminded me of Mary.’
‘That might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.’
‘I mean it. He needed guidance and you said just what you ought to say to make sure he got it. You were perfect.’ He kissed her.
‘You’ve already had plenty of practice in the maternal arts, I can see that.
And I can tell that no amount of other things in your life would stop you putting your child first. So no more worrying about it, all right? ’
Bobby smiled. ‘Thanks, Charlie. You know, that was exactly what I needed to hear.’