Chapter 12 Hawk
TWELVE
hawk
Christmas dinner was the first one in a long time that my grandmother relaxed. Grandpa tried multiple times to get information about the team from me, but I reminded him that his role was as a fan from here on out.
“Yes, Hawk. Keep reminding him and don’t even think about discussing the Winter Meetings. This is my first Christmas where I don’t have to listen to any of that shit.”
Yep, Nonna had grown up in South Boston, and while her neighborhood today was now one of the best neighborhoods to raise a family, it was rough back then.
She had a mouth on her, and I loved it. I loved it more when she ragged on my father for letting the world happen to him and his general lack of ambition.
“I’m not letting him back in, promise.”
She kissed my cheek and handed me a cheese and cracker platter. “Go bring this out to the Great Room, and check on Colby. She’s keeping a secret, I think.”
“She only thinks she’s keeping a secret,” I said.
Nonna nodded. “Does she know how much money we donate to support LGBTQ causes? Why won’t she come out to us?”
“I think it’s less about coming out and more about her inability to settle down with anyone. But she says this is the one—” Um, also, remember her last girlfriend when you all assumed it was platonic? Maybe you got that wrong.
“And what about you, Hawk? Are you still buried in work? Is there anyone special?”
“Sorry, Nonna, the cheese is starting to turn—”
“To be continued, my boy.”
I had no doubt about that. Nonna was like a dog with a bone, and my evasive answer would have done nothing but pique her curiosity. I should have just said no, but I had thought about Kendra at least once an hour since the moment I met her.
How was the wedding going? She had tried to explain why they chose Christmas, and while the off-season for our players is short, I didn’t see why it was important to plan their day around her son’s father.
I checked my phone and saw that Kendra had sent a couple of photos from the ceremony.
Flicking through them, I finally found the one I wanted.
Why hadn’t she led with this? All three sisters bore a strong resemblance to each other.
Their red hair had been handed down from their mother; their athletic builds were part genetics and part hard work.
At first glance, Kendra seemed aloof. But the more I learned about her, the more I understood that her brain was constantly in motion, whether she was in a social situation, on a horrendous date, or attempting to relax with her family—not that weddings were ever relaxing.
I quickly added a heart emoji to the photo of her and followed up with a similar response to the one with her and her sisters.
“What are you looking at?” Colby asked.
I handed her my phone, and she thumbed through the photos of the wedding.
“This is her, huh?” She halted at the photo of Kendra and searched my face for a reaction.
“Kendra. Yes.”
“She’s stunning, Hawk. Let me know if you’re not making a move, and I will.”
“I thought you’d found the one?”
Colby looked around to make sure no one could hear her. “I did too. But turns out she couldn’t wait a little longer for me to introduce her to the family. She gave me an ultimatum, and you know what happens when I feel cornered.”
This wasn’t the first time one of Colby’s partners had given her an ultimatum, but it was the only time it might have worked in their favor.
“Nonna knows.” My statement didn’t seem to surprise Colby at all.
“Everybody knows. It’s the worst-kept secret at this point.”
“Then why bother?”
She sighed. “It’s me, alright? Sometimes I think I’m in love with falling in love.
It’s always great at the beginning of a relationship.
They love my spontaneity. Fuck, they all love the trips we take around the world, the ones I pay for, but then we try to settle down and be normal. And I get bored.”
“No, Colby. You get scared.”
“Shut up.”
Her response wasn’t a denial; I had hit the nail on the head, and her only response was to hide from it.
“Do you love her?” I asked.
Her eyes watered, and she nodded.
“What’s the worst that can happen here?”
“I could get hurt.”
“Aren’t you hurt right now?”
“But I can control this hurt, Hawk. Do you know what would happen if I threw everything into this relationship and she realized that my only personality trait is ‘rich girl’?”
On the surface, Colby had a point. But I understood far more about my sister than even she understood about herself.
“Colby, stop hiding behind that persona. Let someone see who you are; take a risk.”
“She told me I needed to grow up.”
“Do you agree with her?”
“I should probably get a job.”
Colby had a degree in marketing and interned with the team years ago.
She impressed the team, but once, she walked up behind other interns, talking about how everything was just handed to her because she was born into the family.
And while I heard the same comments and fought to prove myself, Colby heard it and decided she wouldn’t be able to prove herself.
Years later, she used her marketing knowledge to build her influencer platform. What I wouldn’t give to have her on our social media team.
“You should invite her for dessert at least. And meet me at the office next week. I’m ready to hire you.”
She brushed a tear from her cheek. “Do you think I can do it?”
“Colby, I would never lie to you. You have talent. It’s latent because you’re afraid to take something you haven’t earned. Call your girl, grovel, get her over here, and stop being so fucking afraid of failure. If you don’t try, you’ve already failed.”
“Hawk?”
“What?”
“Why are you quoting my motivational posts?”
I laughed before turning serious. “Because you’re great at giving the world advice, but you suck at taking it.”
“What time should I be there next week?”
“8:30 AM on the 2nd.”
“How about 9:00 AM?”
When I didn’t respond, she recanted. “Okay, okay. I’ll be there.”
About an hour later, Colby answered the door and led Haley into the great room. I waited while they made their way around the room. No one in the room seemed surprised.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and the e-mail I had been waiting for had arrived. Three major contracts would be finalized tomorrow, and by the end of the week, our infield would be mostly decided. We just needed to come to terms with Avery before we lost him and were down a catcher.
I questioned my motivation for texting Kendra the update for only a second. But I wanted her to know, not as an employee, but because I was proud of the team we were building this year. Even more proud of the changes I had put through.
“And here’s Hawk. Some people call him JJ, but he swears he outgrew that nickname.”
I took Haley’s hand and studied her. Yes, she was beautiful. That was a given with Colby; she had always been drawn to beautiful people. But together, they both glowed.
We made small talk, and Haley beamed with pride when Colby told her she had decided to take a job with the team. She was a corporate attorney, and I could see how her drive and success might have intimidated my sister—not that Colby wasn’t capable of earning success.
I continued checking my phone throughout the night, but Kendra didn’t respond, so I checked my outgoing texts again.
Me: Milligan is as good as done. Check your e-mail.
The read receipt showed that she had seen my text. Four hours later, however, she still hadn’t responded to me.