Chapter 21 Aspen
Aspen
Nothing.
Not a single word or explanation.
In fact, Brooks Calloway is acting like he didn’t completely take my breath away with that kiss last night.
I had planned to talk to him this morning when I dropped his coffee off, but he wasn’t there.
When he finally showed up in his worn-in jeans and dirt-covered cowboy boots, he smiled at me, tipped his hat, said good morning, and walked straight to his office.
I started to follow him back, but I saw Harper following him, so I stayed put.
The last thing I want is for people to find out I crossed a line with my boss.
By the time lunch rolls around, there’s still nothing from Brooks. No text, no email, no note. It’s almost as if I dreamed that kiss, but I know I didn’t. I’d never be able to dream something that good.
Jazz comes stomping up toward the desk with an eyebrow raised. “Ma’am. I did not receive a post-date text from you. I’m very upset about this.”
Shoot. I did forget to text her because I was so consumed with Brooks and that kiss. “I’m so sorry. The night just got away from me.”
Her scowl turns to a smile really fast. “That good, huh? I knew he’d be good in bed!”
My eyes widen. “What, no. We didn’t sleep together. We had dinner and ice cream, and he was a perfect gentleman.”
“Well, that’s disappointing,” she says. “Did he at least kiss you at the end of the night?”
He did kiss me, actually. It wasn’t anything like the kiss I had with Brooks. It was a quick peck on the lips before I got into my car. I feel terrible because I was so preoccupied with thinking about Brooks that I don’t think I gave Dawson a fair chance.
“He did.”
“And?”
“It was nice,” I say noncommittally.
“Aw, damn. I had high hopes for him, but nice? Nah, that’s not gonna work.”
I laugh. “No. Nice is good. We had a great time, and he’s already texted me today to say he’d like to see me again.”
“Ok, well, that’s something, I guess. Are you going to see him again?”
I’ve been thinking about this question all day. I was hoping to ask Brooks what that kiss meant, but if he’s avoiding me, I can’t do that. I refuse to be seen as a mistake, and that’s how Brooks is making me feel right now.
“Yeah, I think so,” I admit, even though it feels wrong. Deep down, I know I’m hoping it will make Brooks jealous.
“Why don’t you seem excited?” she asks, and I instantly feel bad that I’m not. Dawson is such a nice guy. He’s sweet, funny, and we had a good time together. He should be perfect for me. But all I can think about is Brooks.
“What? I am excited. Works just been stressful today. Got a lot going on.”
I’m not sure if she believes me, but she lets it go. “Yeah. We got a lot of people here this weekend.”
“Excuse me.” A man is standing behind Jazz with a vase full of flowers. “Do you know where I can find an Aspen Fallon?”
“Oh, um, that’s me.” I just know my face instantly turns red.
“Ok, then. Here you go.” The man hands me the vase.
“Who are these from?” Jazz asks.
I shrug, and the man says, “Dunno. There’s a card in there, though. Have a good day.”
Once he’s gone, I set the vase on the desk and rummage through the flowers to find the card.
“Do you think it’s from Dawson?” Jazz asks excitedly.
I suppose it could be, but I’m really not sure. I open the small envelope and pull out the card. My shoulders immediately slump, and instead of being excited, I’m now irritated.
“Fucking Zach.”
“Oh my god!” Jazz groans. “Why can’t that man take a hint?”
“I have no clue.”
At that moment, Harper and Brooks reemerge from the back hallway.
“Aw, did someone get flowers?” Harper asks.
“Yep. Ms. Hot Stuff right here has boys chasing her all over town,” Jazz says.
“That’s not true,” I quickly add. “These are from Zach. He still hasn’t gotten the message…”
Harper gives me a sympathetic look, and when I glance at Brooks, I can tell he’s doing his best to look at anything but me.
“I don’t want them, though. Can we put them in a cabin for one of the guests?”
“I don’t see why not,” Harper says. “But are you sure you don’t want them? They’re really pretty. Accepting the flowers doesn’t mean you’re accepting his apology.”
I shake my head. “No, I don’t want them.”
“Alright. Well, Jazz just pick a cabin and put them on one of the tables.”
Jazz picks up the vase. “You got it, boss.” She heads off toward the cabin while Harper heads to the front door. Brooks stays frozen by the desk. His eyes finally meet mine, and my heart rate starts to pick up. How can one look affect me like this?
He opens his mouth as if he’s finally going to say something, but then his phone rings. He looks at the screen and quickly answers it as he walks off.
I exhale the breath I was holding, and my shoulders fall. I guess we won’t be talking today.
I’m standing in the middle of my cabin after work, just staring at the walls.
I’ve really come to love this place. It’s small and exactly what I need.
But it was never meant to be permanent, and if Brooks is going to keep actively avoiding me, then it’s probably time I try to find another place to live.
I sit down on the couch and start searching for apartments nearby. As expected, not much comes up, but there are a few rooms for rent.
I’m looking through one of the listings when there’s a knock on my door. I’m very surprised when I open it to see Brooks standing there.
His hands are in his pockets, and he looks like he might be a little nervous. “Hey, uh, I made Philly cheesesteaks. You want one?”
“Um, what?” That’s really the first thing he’s going to say to me?
“I made food. Are you hungry?”
“Brooks, you cannot be serious.”
“What do you mean? We’ve eaten together loads of times.”
“Yeah, but that was before you kissed the life out of me and then acted like I didn’t exist all day,” I say. Did he think I was truly just going to overlook that?
“Look, ok, I know. Come over and eat with me, and we’ll talk.”
I cross my arms across my chest. “Maybe I already made dinner.”
“No, you didn’t,” he says confidently.
“How do you know? It could be getting cold right now.”
“I know you well enough by now, Aspen. You don’t like to cook. Best case, you made yourself a sandwich, which I can assure you, mine is better. So come eat, and we’ll talk.”
Dammit. He’s got me there, and I am hungry.
“Fine.”
I follow him over to his house. He’s got our food already plated up at the counter as if he knew I’d say yes. I hate being predictable.
I take a seat on my normal barstool because I’ve been here enough times by now that I have a usual seat.
I take a bite of the sandwich. I know he’s not going to talk unless he knows I’m eating. Then I ask, “So, wanna tell me why you were avoiding me all day?”
“I-I didn’t mean to avoid you, Aspen. Really. I was just freaked out. Put yourself in my shoes. I kissed my son’s girlfriend.”
“Ex-girlfriend,” I clarify.
“Yes, but a woman he obviously still cares about. How do you think he would react if he found out I’m developing feelings for you?”
My brain freezes. Whoa. Feelings and kissing are two different things. I know how I’ve been feeling, but hearing that he might be feeling the same thing changes things. It wasn’t just a kiss for either of us.
“I don’t imagine he would like that,” I admit slowly. “But he made his bed. He’s the one who pushed me away. I don’t think he should have any sort of say about what we do.”
“In any other situation, I would agree with you, but he’s my son. My blood, Aspen. I’ve finally got him to talk to me again. This would only make everything worse again.”
He’s choosing Zach over me. I understand it, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck.
When I first came to Blue Haven, I would’ve been over the moon to know that Brooks and Zach are talking more.
But with the circumstances as they are, I selfishly wish that Zach were still holding onto whatever grudge he had before.
“I’m sorry I kissed you, Aspen.” Ouch. Not what I was hoping to hear. “It was irresponsible and selfish of me. I let my emotions take control, and I-I was jealous seeing you with someone else.”
He was jealous. I like the way that feels more than I should, but I hate that he feels like our kiss was a mistake. “Ok.”
“Ok?” he repeats.
I shrug, trying my hardest to be calm and collected about all this, even though I feel completely crushed on the inside. “Yeah, ok. I mean, it’s not what I was hoping you’d say, but it is what it is. I’ve started looking at potential rooms for rent, so I should be out of your hair shortly.”
“What? No. Aspen, you don’t have to leave.”
“It feels like I should.”
“No. Don’t feel like that. I want you to stay. The cabin is yours. For however long. Forever if you want it. It’s nice having someone there.”
“You sure it won’t complicate things?” I ask.
“No. I won’t let it.”
“Alright. Well, thank you.”
I finish the rest of my food as quickly as I can.
As much as I normally love being around Brooks, tonight has been a lot for me, and I’d like to be by myself to process this.
After he kissed me, I thought… Well, I certainly didn’t think he was going to regret it.
So this almost feels like another breakup to me.
“Thank you for dinner. I should go.” I stand to go wash my plate, but he stops me by grabbing my wrist. We both look to where his fingers are wrapped as if touching me is going to make us both combust.
He pulls his hand back. “I’ve got the plate. Don’t worry about it.”
“Alright. See you tomorrow?”
He gives me a small smile. “See you tomorrow.”
Once I’m back in my cabin with the door locked, I finally let all of my pent-up emotions out. I can’t believe I’m crying over another Calloway man. What has my life become?