Chapter 33
Brooks
This is the week.
I’ve scheduled a lunch with Zach in a few days to tell him about my feelings for Aspen.
I can’t possibly put this off any longer.
He deserves to know the truth, and it’s unfair to Aspen to keep asking her to keep this between us.
She’s right, it makes it feel like we’re some dirty little secret. She deserves so much more than that.
I let her know this morning that Zach agreed to lunch on Wednesday and that I’ll be telling him then. She tried to hide her excitement, but I could tell she wanted to smile. It felt like a punch to the gut knowing how much this means to her. The bare minimum, and I’ve been putting it off.
I’m stuck in a lose-lose situation. I know Zach will never forgive me for this. And I also know that I’ll lose Aspen if I don’t tell him. Since I’ve already crossed a line with Aspen, there’s no going back at this point. I’ve made my bed, now I have to lie in it.
There’s a knock on my office door, and Aspen pokes her head in.
“You busy?” she asks.
“Never too busy for you.”
She smiles and walks in, closing the door behind her.
“Everything ok?” I ask as she walks toward me.
She’s in black leggings paired with a long-sleeve Moonlight Ranch shirt, since it’s starting to get cooler during the days.
Her curls are extra bouncy today, and she’s never looked more like mine.
Maybe because I know I’m in love with her, or maybe because I know we’re about to come out to everyone about our relationship, but she is mine, and I’m way too excited about it.
“Yeah, I just missed you,” she says, sitting down on the corner of my desk. She missed me even after I just saw her a few hours ago wrapped up in my sheets. How the fuck did I get so lucky?
“Come here.” I slide my chair back and gesture for her to sit on my lap.
She smiles and doesn’t hesitate to straddle me.
I grab onto her hips to get her as close to me as I can.
She leans down to kiss me. Not just any kiss.
She slides her tongue across my bottom lip, begging me to open for her.
I know what this kind of kiss means. My girl is horny, and I know exactly what she needs from me.
She rocks her hips against me as I trail my hands under her shirt and up her back. She lets out a tiny moan when she feels the friction from my jeans rubbing her through her thin leggings.
I pull her shirt off and toss it haphazardly to the side.
“God, your tits are amazing,” I tell her, trailing kisses across her chest. She giggles as my scruff rubs against her skin.
My hands reach around her to unhook her bra when the world stops. The door to my office opens, and my heart drops to my stomach when I hear, “Hey Dad, have you seen—” A pause while my son realizes what he walked in on. “Aspen?”
Aspen pulls away from me quickly and hops off my lap. In the blink of an eye, she’s grabbing her discarded shirt and pulling it back over her head.
“I, uh, hey Zach. What’re you doing here?” she asks. She cringes as she says it. I think we both hope he didn’t see anything, but there’s no way he didn’t see his ex-girlfriend straddling my lap, topless.
I know better than to be messing around with her in my office, especially without double-checking that the door was locked, but Aspen makes me lose my mind. I can never seem to think straight when I’m around her.
“What am I doing here? What are you doing in here?” It’s then that I realize he’s holding a bouquet, and I just know he was coming here to try to get back together with her… again.
“I work here,” Aspen answers.
“And your job description involves making out with my dad on his lap?”
The three of us stand there frozen for an uncomfortably long time before Zach shouts, “What the fuck?”
“Zach, I—” Aspen starts to explain, but I know this needs to come from me, not her.
“Aspen, honey, can you give us a minute?”
She looks over at me, and I give her a little nod to let her know that it’s going to be ok. She sighs and quickly walks out of my office, keeping her eyes on the ground. Zach’s eyes stay glued to her until the door is firmly shut behind her, and then I only see pure anger when he looks back at me.
“Zach, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about this.”
His eyebrows shoot up. “Oh? You’ve been meaning to tell me you’re fucking my girlfriend behind my back?”
“She’s not your girlfriend anymore.” It’s the wrong thing to say, and I know it the moment it leaves my mouth.
“You knew how I felt about her! You knew I wanted to get back together with her. You knew I still loved her. All this time I’ve been confiding in you, and you’ve been sleeping with her?”
“I haven’t been sleeping with her the whole time,” I clarify.
He rolls his eyes. “You’re really going to try to make that point right now? You’re doing it now, so does it really matter?”
“Yes, it matters because neither of us was planning on this happening. I was really trying to help her when you left her with no place to go. You’re the one who brought her to a town where she knew no one and then cheated on her.
I gave her a job because you asked me to.
I gave her a place to stay because she didn’t feel comfortable staying with you anymore. ”
“Oh, so it’s my fault she fell into your bed? How could you possibly go from helping her to sleeping with her? Huh? How does that work?”
“I tried to stay away from her, but…”
“You couldn’t? Yeah, that’s great. This is so fucking awesome.” He kicks the side of my desk with his boot. I’d tell him to calm down, but I’d rather have him take this out on me than her. If he needs to get his anger out, he can do it here.
“I was going to talk to you about it this week. That’s why I made lunch plans with you.”
“You thought telling me this in a public place would be a good idea? I mean, what were you expecting here? That I’d be ok with this? That we could all be one big happy family? After I told you how much I wanted her back, you took her right out from under me.”
“I didn’t take her, Zach. She doesn’t feel the same way about you anymore. She made a choice to move on.”
“Yeah, well, you made a choice too. I hope you’re fucking happy. Mom was right. You only care about yourself.”
He slams the bouquet into the trash can in the corner of my office and stomps out without a second look back at me. I knew he would be mad. I knew he wouldn’t understand. But I guess a small part of me hoped he would hear me out.
And of course, his mother has never said one good thing about me. I’m sure I’ll hear from her the moment he runs home and tells her what happened.
I lean back in my chair and drag my hands down my face. How did I get here? How did I let myself fall for Aspen when I knew it would rip me away from my son?
Fuck. I need to get out of here.
I spend the better part of the afternoon with my horse.
Beck asked no questions when I stormed into the stables and silently tacked her up and left.
I rode through my favorite trail on the ranch and spent some time by a small creek that I used to ride to when I was younger and needed a break from my parents.
I didn’t gain any more clarity, but I do feel more sure about my decision.
I love Zach. He’s my son, and that will never change. But I’ve given so much of myself to other people over the years, I think I forgot how it feels to be happy.
I worked hard at the ranch to continue on my family’s legacy in Blue Haven.
Despite what Zach and his mother think, I didn’t take over the ranch for myself.
Moonlight Ranch has been in my family for almost a century, and I’ll be damned if it goes under because of me.
My parents worked hard to keep this place going, and they trusted me to continue it. I take pride in that.
Also, despite what Zach and Lacey think, I did the best I could to be the dad I always hoped I would be. But Lacey made it extra difficult by whispering terrible things about me to Zach. I never had a chance to have the family I’ve always dreamed of.
I give everything I can to the ranch and Blue Haven. I fund every town event I can. I employ as many people from town as I possibly can. I’ve always put the people of Blue Haven before myself.
The one thing I want for myself is Aspen.
Every scenario I run through my head, she’s always my end game.
She’s only been in my life for a few months, but I already know that I can’t imagine a life without her.
I feel truly happy around her. She’s given me purpose again after I felt lost for so long.
Which is why I’m frustrated when I get home and don’t see her. I should’ve found her as soon as Zach left my office, but I needed a minute to digest everything that had happened. I didn’t want to take out my frustration on her, and I know I always think better outdoors.
I pull out my phone and don’t see any missed calls or texts from her. There are a few missed calls from Harper and a text from Lacey telling me what a scumbag I am. I’ll ignore that one for now. I’ve got bigger things to worry about.
I call Aspen, but it goes straight to voicemail. I walk back to my room to change out of riding clothes and notice all of her stuff is gone. Her phone charger is gone from by the bed, along with the vanilla lip balm that she puts on every night before she goes to sleep. Her Kindle is missing.
In the bathroom, her face wash, curl cream, and toothbrush: all gone.
What is going on?
My heart is racing at this point. Did she leave? After everything?
I call her again. Nothing.
I finally scroll to Harper’s contact and call her.
“Hey,” she answers quickly.
“Hey, have you seen Aspen by any chance?”
She sighs into the phone. That can’t be a good sign.
“What?” I ask.
“I’m guessing things didn’t go well?”
“That’s putting it lightly.”
“Listen, I was at the front desk with Aspen when Zach came out of your office. He said some pretty terrible things to her. She was very upset. And then she came to find you, and your office was empty.” Fuck. “I tried to reassure her, but she kept saying she needed to go.”
“Do you know where she is?”
“Not exactly, but I would check with Jazz. Are you ok, Brooks? It sounded pretty heated. I’ve never seen Zach so angry before.”
“I’m fine,” I lie. “But I’ve got to go. Thanks,” I say quickly and hang up before she can try to deep dive into all my issues. The only thing I need to do right now is to find Aspen.
I quickly find Jasmine’s contact in my phone and call. She takes so long to answer that I’m certain it’s going to go to voicemail. She finally picks up my call, but I can barely hear her.
“Hello?” she whispers.
“Jasmine. It’s Brooks.”
“Yeah, I know.” Right. I’m sure she has my contact info.
“Right. Uh, have you seen Aspen?”
“Yes.”
I pause and wait for her to provide more information, but she doesn’t.
“Can you tell me where she is?”
She sighs. I’m getting tired of people sighing at me tonight.
“She asked me not to.”
“Why? What is going on?”
There’s rustling through the phone, and I can hear Jasmine walking, which gives me a sneaking suspicion that Aspen might be hiding out wherever Jasmine is.
“Listen, I think she just needs a little bit of time. She’s upset about what Zach said, but she also feels terrible about coming between you two. She just needs to think.”
“No, she doesn’t. There’s nothing to think about. She belongs with me!”
“I know that and you know that, but our girl needs a minute to breathe, ok? I’ll keep an eye on her tonight and text you where she is in the morning.”
“Jasmine, no. I need to talk to her now.”
“I can’t let you do that.”
“Jasmine!”
“Talk to you in the morning, bossman.”
She hangs up, and I have the sudden urge to throw my stupid phone against the wall, but I stop myself because then I wouldn’t get the stupid text I have to wait for.
How am I supposed to get through tonight without her?