Chapter 34
Aspen
I can tell my eyes are swollen before even looking at them. I spent most of the night crying, which is annoying because I promised myself I wouldn’t cry over a man ever again, but here we are.
Jazz let me stay at her place last night, and by ‘let’ I mean she practically forced me to. She followed me to Brooks’s house, helped me get my things, and made me come straight to her house.
My original plan was to leave Blue Haven immediately. I let myself get too comfortable and think that this was finally going to be the place I call home. I should’ve known it was too good to be true.
When Zach screamed at me in the lobby of Moonlight Ranch, it was a harsh reminder that I don’t belong here.
This is his town. Not mine. Yes, he uprooted my life and then fucked me over, but he has the history here.
People are always going to be on his side.
Besides the few friends I’ve made, I’m by myself.
I’m always by myself. I need to stop thinking that that will ever change.
Maybe this is the universe’s way of telling me I don’t deserve happiness.
My heart feels so heavy. I feel so alone.
“There she is,” Jazz says as she walks into her room with a coffee cup. “I was worried you were gonna sleep all day.”
She hands me the cup, and I take a sip.
“What time is it?” My voice sounds so groggy.
“Almost eleven.”
Oh my god. I never sleep that long. I guess I needed it after last night.
“How are you feeling this morning?” She sits next to me on her bed.
“Like shit,” I admit.
“Are you still thinking about leaving?”
“I feel like I have to, Jazz.”
“You don’t. You can’t leave me!” she whines, which makes me smile. I hate that I’ve finally made a friend and now I’m going to have to leave her. But she’ll be fine. Everyone is always fine when I leave. I’m always the one who isn’t fine.
“I don’t belong here. All I’m doing is pissing off Zach and ruining Brooks’s life.”
“First of all, fuck Zach. He deserves to be pissed off. Everything that is happening to him is his own damn fault. Second of all, I highly doubt that Brooks thinks you’re ruining his life.
The man has been calling and texting me all morning.
And third of all, stay for me. We can grow old together.
Get lots of cats and yell at kids for running through our yard. ”
I can’t help but laugh at that because I can totally picture it. The two of us in rocking chairs on a front porch, gossiping about everyone in town. That would certainly be fun. But knowing I was so close to Brooks… I don’t think I could do it.
“Why don’t you come with me?” I ask her even though I have no idea where I’m going. Maybe I’ll go back to Florida, or maybe I’ll find a new place. Start over all on my own. I’ve done it before. I’m sure I can do it again.
She gives me a pointed look. “You don’t even know where you’re going. And I like it here in Blue Haven. My family is here. You’re my family too now, so you belong here.”
I sigh. “I don’t know…”
“Listen. Don’t be mad, but Brooks is in the living room.”
“What!”
“He really wants to talk to you, and I think you should hear him out.”
“Jazz, I told you, I can’t hurt him any more than I already have.”
“And you think leaving him without any explanation won’t hurt him?” I hang my head. She’s right. Of course, she’s right. “That’s what I thought. So hear him out. If you still want to leave after you talk to him, then I’ll help you pack.”
My friend, who is always happy, looks so sad right now. I hate that it’s because of me.
“Alright,” I respond softly. It’s not that I don’t want to see Brooks, but seeing him again—seeing the hurt in his eyes—is going to make it so much harder to leave.
“Here. Let’s just…” She starts patting down my hair, and I realize I must look like I just rolled out of bed because I did. “Ok, that’s a little better. Gotta make sure you still look hot. I’ve got a stake in this game.”
I laugh as she leaves the room. My heart feels like it’s going to beat through my chest as I listen to Brooks’s heavy footsteps come down the hall toward Jazz’s room.
He knocks gently before slowly pushing the door open.
I stay seated on the bed, but I can’t take my eyes off him.
Even with dark circles under his eyes, he’s still the most handsome man I’ve ever seen.
He’s in a dark henley and my favorite pair of jeans.
Instead of his cowboy boots, he’s opted for his work boots.
The ones he always leaves by his front door in case he has to leave quickly.
The fact that he’s wearing them today makes me wonder if he ran out of his house the second Jazz told him where I was, but I shake the thought from my head.
I have to be strong. I can’t ruin this man’s life any more than I already have.
“Hey.” He stays on the other side of the bedroom, which I appreciate since this is already going to be hard enough. Being close to him would be too much, but my fingers twitch with the need to touch him.
“Hi.”
He swallows like he’s nervous. “You wanna tell me what’s going on?”
My eyes sting from the threat of tears. He sounds so defeated. “I-I can’t do this, Brooks. I can’t ruin your life. You don’t deserve that. I have to leave Blue Haven.”
“Darlin’, the only thing that’s gonna ruin my life is if you don’t come home with me.”
Home. I thought I finally had one…
“I don’t have a home. I thought maybe… but all I’ve done is cause trouble.
Zach is never going to forgive us. This whole town is going to hate me.
” I hate the way my voice shakes, but there’s no sense in hiding how upset I am.
“So, I’m going to go. That will be easier for everyone.
It’ll be easier for you to repair your relationship with Zach if I’m not here. You can just tell him I was a mistake.”
Brooks crosses the room and kneels down in front of me. “Aspen, those words would never come out of my mouth. You are not a mistake, and you never will be. Yeah, Zach is pissed. He has every right to be. But that’s not your fault. It’s mine. I made this choice because I wanted it. I want you.
“Of course, I’m going to try to earn his forgiveness, but at the end of the day, our relationship was strained before I ever knew you.
He’s never wanted me in his life, and this gives him the perfect excuse to cut me out.
It hurts like hell, but it always felt like fighting a losing battle with him. ”
God, I hate that Zach has made him feel like this. In the short time that I’ve known Brooks, all he’s wanted was a relationship with his son. I know he’d be such a good dad if he were just given a chance.
“You make me so happy, Aspen. You’ve done nothing but bring absolute joy to my life, and I refuse to let you walk away without a fight. I love you, Aspen. I want it all with you: the ranch, the house, the marriage, the babies. You are my future. Please don’t leave.”
I can barely see him through the tears in my eyes. This man loves me? He’s choosing a future with me? It’s like he saw inside my soul and knew exactly what my biggest wish was and is doing everything he can to make it come true.
“No one has ever chosen me before,” I murmur.
He grabs one of my hands and interlaces our fingers. He’s shaking, which makes me cry even harder.
“I do. I choose you, Aspen. Every single day, I choose you.”
“Are you sure?” I manage to ask between sobs.
He smiles and nods. “I’ve never been so sure.
When I got home last night and all your stuff was gone, it felt like the wind got knocked out of me.
I always thought it was silly when people would say they found their other half, but that’s what this feels like to me.
You complete me. You make me whole. You make me excited about life again. I don’t want to do this without you.”
“Me either,” I admit.
“Then stay, Aspen. Let’s build our life together. Please.”
He squeezes my hand tighter while I think of what to say. I want to stay. I want it more than anything, but it feels impossible. “Everyone is going to hate me.”
“That’s not true!” Jazz shouts from the hallway. Should’ve known she’d be eavesdropping.
“It’s not true,” Brooks echoes her. “And who gives a fuck what anyone thinks? I don’t. Not anymore. Please stay, Aspen. Stay with me. Let me love you like you deserve to be loved.”
My heart and my brain are fighting. I want to stay so badly, but I’m terrified of getting hurt again. It’s a big risk to stay here with Brooks. But is it a risk I’m willing to take?
My head starts nodding before I even decide what to say, and I manage to choke out, “Ok.”
I’m in his arms in a split second. He lifts me up, and I wrap my legs around him. He kisses my tear-stained lips and keeps saying he loves me over and over again. I barely get a chance to tell him I love him too in between kisses.
“Alright, alright. Let’s simmer down,” Jazz calls out as she walks in with her eyes covered. “I love you both, but I do not need this to go any further in my bedroom.”
Brooks chuckles and gently lowers me to the ground. “Let’s get you home.”
I wipe my eyes and start to gather my things.
“Well, I’m glad this all worked out. At least between the two of you,” Jazz says while she helps me grab my stuff. I didn’t do much unpacking. Just my toothbrush, toothpaste. The basics. “And Aspen, I can promise you that more people will be on your side than Zach’s. No offense, Brooks.”
“None taken.”
“But he’s lived here his entire life. He grew up with these people. I’m an outsider.”
“Yeah, but I can assure you that Zach hasn’t always been the most upstanding citizen, and I know for a fact that a lot of people are mad that he didn’t want to continue on with Moonlight.
In my humble, and usually correct, opinion, I think most people will be happy to see Brooks get a second chance.
Especially if y’all are serious about those babies you mentioned a few minutes ago. ”
My cheeks heat as I glance over at Brooks, who is watching me as he leans against the doorframe, his hands tucked into his jeans and looking absolutely delicious. Yeah, I think I’d definitely be interested in having his babies. And by the look in Brooks’s eyes? I’d say he’s interested, too.
“Alright. Enough with the googly eyes. And when people find out about what Zach said to you yesterday? They are not gonna be happy.”
I’ve been trying not to think about the awful things Zach screamed at me as he stomped out of Brooks’s office.
I’d never felt more embarrassed in my life.
Everyone in the lobby and the restaurant turned to look at me.
Harper and Jazz quickly got me out of there, but I couldn’t stop hearing the words replaying over and over again in my head.
Slut.
Whore.
Fucking bitch.
You name it, Zach yelled it.
It hurt more than I care to admit. Up until that point, I was hoping he’d handle it better than that.
I should’ve known that was wishful thinking.
Obviously, I knew he’d be mad. I even understand his anger.
But shouting at me in my place of work in front of people I don’t even know? That was unexpected.
At least it’s out there now. He knows, which means everyone else will know soon enough.
Brooks grabs my bags. “Come on. Let’s get you home.”
I hug Jazz and thank her for letting me stay the night. She waves me off and tells me I’m welcome anytime.
As we’re walking out of the house, Brooks tells me, “We’ll talk about what Zach said to you later.” He takes my bags and throws them in his truck.
“I’ll follow you,” I say, pointing to my car parked on the curb.
“No, ma’am. I’m not letting you out of my sight today. You’ll ride with me, and we’ll come get your car later on.”
He opens the door, and I don’t hesitate to climb in and let him take me home.