Chapter 33
Enough! That was the word that made me decide after grieving the thread of hope still left in me, the one ripped away by his harsh words and the ring.
I looked at the envelope in my hand while I waited to be called in the waiting room at the MacCarrick & Co. law office. Just one more blow to my heart. It had been left on my bed while I was in the shower. Inside were documents and a car key.
How could we hate someone so much, suffer so much because of them, and still love them?
“Miss Vicenti? Mr. MacCarrick will see you now.”
I shoved the yellow envelope into my purse and followed the secretary.
“Good afternoon, Miss Vicenti. It’s a pleasure to meet you,” the tall, middle-aged man said as soon as I hurried into his office. “I’m Henry MacCarrick.”
Nervous, I accepted the hand of the best family-law attorney in the Los Angeles area, according to what Gamble had said on the phone when she referred me to him.
“Likewise, Mr. MacCarrick.”
He gestured to the chair. “Please, sit.” I sat, leaving my purse on my lap. “Would you like water, coffee, a…”
“Thank you, I’m fine,” I murmured quickly, too restless to wait for him to finish. “I’m sorry, can we get straight to the point?”
“Tell me, miss, how can I help you?”
“My son. I need you to help me get custody of him.”
“All right. I’m listening.”
I began my ordeal, bringing him up to speed on every detail.
I answered his professional questions, my hopeful heart pounding with every word. When I finished, I waited in insane distress for his words, praying to heaven there was a safe way out.
They weren’t exactly encouraging. I wasn’t exactly an ideal example of stability, with no job, no home, and almost no dignity.
He would try to annul the agreement, since I had been vulnerable and incapable of making such a crucial and permanent decision. He would also use parental alienation in our favor. MacCarrick warned me about the damage this action could cause to my relationship with Heithor. I couldn’t care less.
My chances, if I was honest, weren’t very good.
However, I was clinging to even the smallest possibility of reversing this scenario. I needed to believe in something, to be positive.
MacCarrick told me everything I needed to know, what to expect from the process I would face, and, of course, the costs of the case. And in that moment, the money I had once spent without worrying about tomorrow became something vital.
I stood, and he did the same. I held out my hand.
“Thank you. Thank you very much. I’ll bring the money today.”
“You don’t need to worry about that now. You can…”
“I prefer it this way.”
“All right. Have a good day, Miss Vicenti.” He walked me to the door. “You can make the payment with my secretary. I’ll leave the amount with her.”
Flustered because of the late hour, I left his office and rushed to the bank, a little more relieved than when I had left the mansion.
I knew the fight wouldn’t be easy, but I felt reenergized. In the worst-case scenario, I would at least have the right to have moments with my baby, even under supervision, weekly, biweekly, it didn’t matter… For now.
At the bank, the manager saw me.
“Miss Vicenti, what can I do for you?”
There, in front of the manager, I regretted having returned to Gio the money she had sent me when Rocco cut off my monthly allowance.
And once again, I found myself praying to heaven that what I had would be enough.
There was also the account I had opened at Heithor’s insistence when I let myself be deluded by his words, by that feeling I knew I shouldn’t trust. I had been stupid, ignoring my promise not to depend on anyone but myself.
But as God was in heaven, I would not touch a single miserable cent of what was his.
“Hello, Mr. Ronald. I need to know how much I have available in my account, and I also need you to make a cashier’s check for this amount.” I handed him the paper.
He frowned at the scribbled amount and then looked at me, concerned. “Is there a problem? If you’d like, we can speak in a private room…”
“There’s no problem, Mr. Ronald. I know the amount is a little startling and that I don’t usually withdraw such high sums, but it’s a family emergency. I’m in a bit of a hurry, if you don’t mind.”
“Of course. Give me a minute, please.”
I handed him my documents.
“What is it?” I asked a moment later. “Is there a problem?”
Dio, no, please.
“Are you aware that a very large amount was deposited into your account?”
“What?”
He turned the monitor and pointed at the screen. My eyes widened in shock and disbelief when I saw the absurdly obscene amount.
“As you can see, the amount is very high.”
“I-I… I… When was it deposited?”
“Three days before Christmas, and it’s available for use. We have good profitable investment options. We could look at some if you’d like…”
Stunned, I just looked at him, incapable of speaking. My head, already running at a thousand miles a second, derailed from the tracks of reason and self-control. My heart suddenly felt too small, beating hard and aching. I began to hyperventilate.
“I’m going to make the check. Just a moment, please.”
I didn’t wait for him to return. I grabbed my purse and left.
I needed air, a moment to breathe…
The wind, icy and rebellious from a storm that had formed unexpectedly at the end of that afternoon, hit my face and tangled my hair when I reached the sidewalk.
I took a few steps without looking where I was going and leaned against the building wall, needing that support. I tried to breathe deeply, uselessly.
No tears. No crying. Nothing.
It was as if every part of my body, every sense, every cell had entered a state of total numbness, and I didn’t have the strength to fight it.
How could it hurt so much without killing me?
The first raindrops hit me, hard and freezing, when I began walking aimlessly again, with the vague perception in some distant part of my head of nightfall descending in slow motion, pedestrians running around me, trying to protect themselves from the rain.
The noise of cars and thunder. An unimportant chaos.
I wrapped my arms around myself, protecting myself, but not from the cold or the trembling shaking my body from head to toe. From the excruciating pain I felt when my pieces began to collapse and shatter into thousands of smaller pieces.
A hand touched my shoulder. I stopped.
“Antonella?”