sixteen
"say something Thea..."
Athena was silent. What did you expect her to say after Paige just told her she had feelings for her. Those same feelings driving them to not speaking for 3 years. She had no idea what to say, or how to feel. This felt like something she had been waiting for, for her whole life, the girl she loved with her whole heart, at the time, felt the same.
"what do you want me to say Paige?" Athena finally spoke after some time.
"i don't know, just the silence is killing me"
"what do you expect from me...you want me to fully forgive you because your feelings got hurt? Well guess what, my feelings were hurt too but i didn't go around making fun of your family problems because of it!" Athena exclaimed, standing up from her seat on the couch.
"No, wait i wa-...i wasn't making fun of you. I was jus-" Paige was cut off.
"You called me weird for having a dead mother!" Athena's voice was now increasing in volume, almost screaming at Paige.
"Athena I didn't mean it, I didn't mean any of it, i promise. I was scared." Paige stood up from her seat, taking a step closer to Athena, only for the brunette to take a step back. "i thought that if ignored you, didn't spend any more time with you, i would get over you."
"Well what about-" Athena started, only to be shushed by Paige.
"just let me talk, ok? I'll tell you everything, just please stop yelling at me." Paige could take it when it was anybody else yelling but hearing Athena used the tone of voice she rarely heard, hurt her in a different way.
Athena nodded and took a seat back on the couch. Paige tried to sit next to her, Athena shoving her away and towards the other end of the couch. "Talk."
"fuck uhm...ok, do you remember my 18th birthday party? because i sure do, i haven't stopped thinking about it for years. Anyways, when we went to bed, you went straight to sleep, but me? I stayed up for hours...thinking about you. About how we made out on the rooftop, about how my hands felt on your skin, about what would've happened if we weren't interrupted..." Paige paused for a moment, licking her lips, "that was the first night i started to think about you as more then a friend...it confused the hell out of me but i couldn't stop. I wanted that to happen all the time. Anyways, i spent the rest of the year and most of January trying to sort out my feelings towards you. Then, that night when i suggested we be each other's first time, and you agreed, and we hooked up. I knew i was a goner...not because of the sex, well yes because of the sex but also because it was fucking amazing, but it was afterwards when we were laying together in my bed. You had put my shirt on, and it looked way too big on you, then you laid your head on my chest and put you arm around my waist...then you smiled at me, you looked up and smiled...thatis when i knew i felt something more for you, something extremely terrifying."
Paige looked down at her lap, sniffling quietly. She was pinching her fingers, it was the only way she would be able to say all this without crying.
"Uhm- yeah...by the last week of January i accepted that i wanted to be more then just your friend. Then in February is when it started to hit me...that i never could be more to you then just a friend. I didn't know how my parents felt about girls liking other girls, except for a few out of pocket comments, most of them not great. I still wanted to be around you all the time though...even if every time i saw you i wanted to drag you to the nearest empty room and have you all to myself."
"Paige."
"Sorry...getting off track...uh- basically i thought it would be better to get over you by getting with someone else, hence Jalen. He was persistant in asking me out, i finally said yes on Valentine's day because he was the complete opposite of you. I thought it would help...having him as a boyfriend and you still in my life, but if anything it just made it worse. I couldn't be around you...it didn't make sense, i was the one dating someone and yet i was jealous that i couldn't be with you. Then i started to cut you off, spending less time with you and more time with other people. It helped distract my mind for a little, but as soon as i was alone, all i thought about was you."
Paige sniffled again, adjusting her self in her seat, slightly moving closer to Athena.
"I know you probably won't believe me, but it was hurting me just as much as it was hurting you. I just- got in my own head, and let everyone get in my head too. Listening to my friends bet on couples if they would make it more or less then 4 weeks out of high school, my parents subtle comments, my feelings for you still not fading, and the fact we would be 2,435 miles from each other on opposite coasts...it scared me. I thought we needed a clean break, a way to get away from each other and not go through the pain of fizzling out, because i don't know what i'd do if one day i woke up to a text from you telling me this wouldn't work anymore."
Paige adjusted again, this time moving obviously closer to Athena and reaching out to grab the hand she was staring at in her lap. Athena let her, cautiously.
"I will never forgive myself for what i said...what i did...it was stupid, iwas stupid and i'm so sorry...Thea, i'm so sorry. Please let me try to fix it."
Paige stopped holding back, now letting the tears she was desperately trying to hold back flow freely down her cheeks. Athena still hadn't said anything since Paige cut her off. This is what she had been waiting for, the real explanation. It definitely wasn't what she was expecting.
Athena wanted to scream at the blonde, punch her, slap her across the face, re tear her acl, anything. But she couldn't, not after she was so vulnerable with her. She just wished Paige talked to her, this whole thing could have been avoided, hell, maybe they would be 3 years into a healthy relationship by now, but she didn't. She pushed her away, and made her believe she had wasted 7 years of her life on a weirdo girl with no mom.
"Why didn't you just talk to me...we could've figured something out." Athena spoke softly, looking up from their connected hands into the blue eyes she loved as a kid.
"I know...i should've, but i felt like if i did, i would have to tell you the real reason i was scared...then you would've thought i was weird for lov- liking you then never speak to me again." Paige said, staring back into her favorite green eyes.
"you were scared of me not speaking to you again, but then turn around and do the same thing to me?" Paige pursed her lips to one side of her mouth, "...i wouldn't have rejected you." The blonde's eyes widened, her face falling into a shocked/panicked expression. "Actually i would've told you i felt the same...maybe then we would've gotten into an actual relationship and your fears would be for nothing because there was no way in hell i was letting you go, even if we were thousands of miles apart."
"Can we start over? Please? I won't mess it up this time, i swear on my life...i swear on my basketball career." Paige squeezed the hand that was in hers, reaching her other one over to grasp the free one.
"I'd like that, yeah." Athena broke into a small smile while looking into Paige's eyes.
Paige smiled back, bigger, then let go of the girls hands. She reached one out in front of her, in a handshake before saying, "Hi, I'm Paige. I think we could be best friends."
Athena softly chuckled before accepting Paige's handshake, "Nice to meet you Paige, I'm Athena. I too think we could be good friends."
Paige held her hand for a moment then bringing it up to her lips to give it a kiss, maintaining eye contact the whole time, "You're very beautiful Athena."
"I see you're still the flirt you were in high school Bueckers"
"Part of my charm...seemed to work on you."
"Whatever."
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The two spent another hour just talking, mainly about what they've been up to, and joking together. It was like they had a fresh start, like were just now meeting and getting to know each other.
Paige couldn't lie and say she hadn't noticed the little things about Athena that changed or stayed the same. Athena took off the hoodie Paige gave her, now showing off the little tattoos scattered on her arms. She always had talked about getting them, ever since she was 15 she couldn't wait until she was old enough to get them. For her 18th birthday, Paige took Athena to the tattoo shop and let her squeeze the life out of her hand the whole time. That was the only one she got while they were still talking, Athena later getting the others in her college years once she had the money. Paige never asked about them, thinking that was more of a second or third hang out conversation.
They were still sitting on the couch but much closer then before, Paige only letting go of her hands when Athena pulled them away to grab the blanket behind her. It wasn't until Athena got a notification on her phone that she realized the time, 3:30am. "holy shit it's almost 4am...shouldn't you go home?"
"I mean i could...i don't really want to though, i kinda want to stay here with you." Paige said.
"Do you really think that's a good idea? Considering our history."
"I don't know what your talking about...we just met today? Come on pleaseeee, i can stay on the couch...or in your bed..."
"Paige."
"Sorry....just- it's dark and scary out there and i don't want to drive home right now, i'm tired. If you make me, i will crash into a tree and die and it'll be all your fault. The whole world will hate you for killing the Paige Bueckers."
Athena sighed in defeat and closed her eyes before saying, "fine, you can sleep on the couch."
Paige pumped her fist in celebration, "Yes! Thank youuuu"
Athena mumbled a "yeah" then got up to get the blonde a pillow and blanket for the night. Paige watched her the whole time, planning how in the middle of the night she would sneak into Athena's more comfortable bed. Athena threw the pillow and blanket at Paige, said goodnight and went into her room. Paige shouted a goodnight back and got settled in for the night.
Paige could fall asleep for about an hour, then woke up and tried to adjust herself into a more comfortable position. It was around 5 am when she gave up and ditched the couch. She walked over to Athena's cracked door, slowly opened it, trying to be as quiet as possible, then snuck into bed right next to her. This isnotwhat she should be doing, especially after technically just meeting Athena a few hours ago but she couldn't help it. They had history, a very long history, but in that history, every night they spent together, they spent sleeping in the same bed.
Paige knew it was wrong, sneaking into her bed, but she also knew Athena would be mad at her for a total of five minutes, then she would break out the puppy eyes and offer to get her breakfast and the brunette would forget all about her anger.
Athena was still sound asleep when Paige laid down next to her, being extremely tired from her game the night before. She didn't feel the bed dip, or when Paige got comfortable under the covers, she was completely knocked out. Paige always took advantage of Athena being a verydeep sleeper, wiggling around to get herself just right then relaxing. Paige was respectful, keeping to her side of the bed and placing a pillow in between them....eventually, after debating for a minute or two.
Paige's favorite thing to do in high school was listen to Athena's soft snores as she feel asleep, she always thought it was so adorable, and now to hear she still did them even as a grown up, Paige fell asleep within minutes.
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Athena woke up around 10, immediately feeling an arm around her waist. She turned around to see Paige, asleep with her mouth open, and uncomfortably laying on top of a pillow she assumed to be a barrier.
She smiled and rolled her eyes, yes, she knew Paige would last about an hour on the couch before sneaking into her bed. She just didn't want to be awake for that, because she would constantly tell Paige no, then fold when the puppy eyes came out. Athena did have to act annoyed though, it was the only way she was getting a free breakfast, so she aggressively shoved Paige's arm off her, sending the girl to face the opposite way, and got out of bed.
She walked into her kitchen to start making coffee for the two. Once she had the pot set up and brewing, she went back into her room to grab her phone, not leaving again until she took pictures of Paige sleeping.
She was leaning against the counter, reading something on her phone with her glasses on, when Paige walked into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes. "Good morning sunshine!" Athena cheerfully said.
"mornin'" Paige groaned, still not fully awake.
"You're in trouble." Athena stated in a much less cheery tone.
Paige couldn't process what she was saying, still being half asleep on her feet," hm?" She groaned out.
"You were supposed to be on the couch, not in my bed. I still haven't fully forgiven you, that was supposed to be your punishment. It was going to be making you do the 'walk of shame' back to your dorm at 4am but after you guilted me into second handedly committing murder, the couch was the next best option."
"'m sorry..." Paige said, now opening her eyes and looking at the brunette, "how about i buy breakfast to make it up to you?"
"I don't know....i'm pretty mad." Athena was milking this as much as she could without breaking, keeping a stern expression on her face.
"how bout...breakfast for the rest of the week?"
"the month."
"fine, the month." Paige agreed as she rolled her eyes. She was just faking it though, internally she was ecstatic she would be spending every morning with Athena for the next month. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard to win her back.
Athena smiled, finally, and grabbed the coffee pot, pouring it into her snoopy mug. She also had another mug out for Paige, filling that up too and handing it to her, earning a 'thank you' and a smile from the blonde.
This felt domestic...too domestic, they literally just'met' less then 12 hours ago and yet they were standing in Athena's kitchen, smiling at each other, having coffee, and about to go out for breakfast. It felt fast, but no matter how hard they tried they could never forget about the other, never wipe the memories they had together. It was like they just forgot about the bad, going straight back into the good.
Paige was about to take a step closer, and she did but was stopped by Athena's voice, "First Watch closes at 2, better get a move on."
"It's 10:30."
"7, 10:37, we don't have that much time before the lunch rush, come on superstar i want my free breakfast."
Paige could only smile, she really reallymissed her, so bad.
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Breakfast was good, it was great. They sat across from each other and talked most of the time, the rest of it they, Paige, were staring at each other, smiling. A few people recognized the two, wanting a few pictures but they didn't mind, they both loved interacting with fans. Paige was pleasantly surprised at how good Athena was with them, not because she isn't the sweetest person on the planet, but because she was terrified of talking to people, always choosing the 'stay at home' option rather then the 'go out and get drunk' option. Athena was unsurprised by Paige, she had always been a people person, and it showed. She would strike up conversations with everyone, make meeting her an even better experience than what your imagination could.
The two left the breakfast place, then Paige getting the idea to get Athena coffee, even if they just had it. She wanted to spend more time with her, she was making up for lost time. Paige bought the pair coffee, and headed back to her dorm, where they agreed to hang out with the rest of the basketball team. It was a free day for everyone, so naturally they wanted to spend it together.
Paige let Athena go first, holding the door for her, which was a mistake because as soon as Athena was spotted, she was tackled by 4 different people. The force of the first person, KK, being so aggressive, it pushed Paige back out the doorway into the hall. Athena laughed as Paige chewed KK out for indirectly shoving her, the brunette then defending KK, making Paige immediately back off and pout as she walked farther into the room.
Once KK let go it was Azzi's turn, bringing the soccer player into a much softer hug, along with Nika. Paige was jealous, "hey! Why do they get hugs but i had to bribe you with free breakfasts for a month and still not get one."
"Because they are my wives and i love them. They also didn't secretly sneak into my bed in the middle of the night when specifically told to stay out." The last sentence making the other people in the room look at each other, confused but not surprised.
Paige pouted again, walking down the hall to her room. Athena rolled her eyes, and started talking to everyone in the room. The blonde later came out in fresh sweats, taking her reserved seat next to Athena. The two were much more comfortable being in each others presence, Paige laying her head on Athena's shoulder as she talked, the other girl not caring and continuing her conversation.
They made plans for the evening, all wanting to go to the mall and roam around for a bit, then get dinner at a place nearby. They had made, yet another, group chat of just the girls going, planning to meet back in the common room at 4 to leave.
Paige was just going to stay in the same sweats she had on, maybe throw on a t-shirt under. Athena, however, was very unsatisfied with the clothing she was wearing, it still being the clothes she slept in. She was still wearing Paige's hoodie and a pair of sweat pants she's pretty sure were Paige's back in high school but never gave them back to her.
Athena was going to leave around 2:30 to go back to her apartment to get ready, Paige automatically offering to drive her since she drove her here. Athena agreed and let Paige drive her back, not expecting the blonde to get out of the car with her and enter Athena's apartment. "You're so clingy."
"Don't act like you aren't just as clingy as me, maybe even more so. You crave physical touch."
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Athena spent an hour getting ready, making sure she looked presentable to the people she wouldn't know but they would know her that she saw when out. She didn't do her full face often, saving it for moments like this when they would spend multiple hours out. Athena was sat on her floor in front of her mirror, applying her makeup, Paige sitting on the bed next to her, admiring. "Stop staring, it's creepy."
"Sorry, i can't help it. You're just really pretty." Paige moved off the edge of the bed, sitting down on the floor next to Athena and facing her.
Athena blushed, "you can't say that."
"why not? it's the truth."
"because that is what gets you in trouble Bueckers."
"well...maybe i like trouble, you always did call me a troublemaker....hat trick." Paige scooted closer, her knee now touching Athena's, and leaning forward a little bit.
Athena inhaled, then in a more serious tone she said, "Paige."
Paige, noticing the shift in her tone, leaned back, "sorry..." She still stared at Athena's side profile, occasionally looking in the mirror to see the front of her face. "it is true though...you are really pretty, i mean you always were but just- you still are...even more so now...sorry, i'll stop..." She said in a more sincere voice, like it's nothing but the truth.
"thanks superstar." Paige smiled at her, then letting the brunette finish what she was doing, uninterrupted.
The two then sat in silence, only the noise of videos from Paige's phone fulling it. She occasionally made Athena look away from the mirror to watch either a funny video or an edit of one, or both of them. Ever since they were spotted together at breakfast, people have been going crazy, saying they are the most powerful duo ever, whatever that means. Paige couldn't lie and say she hated her tiktok for you page now becoming purely videos about Athena or the occasional basketball video, because she did. She loved that her feed was now adding to her resurfacing obsession with the brunette.
Athena finally finished, 30 minutes before they were supposed to meet back at the basketball dorms. Paige was now laying down on the floor next to her, still scrolling on her phone. She shot up when Athena stood up, following her towards the door like a dog on a leash. No words were spoken until they got the car, and that was only a 'thank you' when Paige opened the passenger side door for Athena. They didn't speak but they sure did sing, screaming the lyrics to every song on the radio with the windows down the whole 10 minute drive.
As soon as they got back, Paige went straight to her room much to Athena's confusion. After Athena spent so long getting ready, she thought she would wear something a little bit more nice then sweats. She came back out in a crop top with a button up over it, still showing off her very toned stomach and some cargo pants. Athena had to take a second look, not used to seeing Paige in that type of clothing. She shamefully checked the blonde out, sneaky enough for her not to notice.
Once they were all ready to go, at 4 on the dot, they walked out the door to their cars. It was a big group so they had to split up, but in Paige's car it was the same line up as it was before, Paige driving, Athena in passenger seat, Azzi behind her, Nika to her left, and KK and Ice stuck in the back. Each row was in their own conversation, Paige and Athena singing the lyrics of the radio to each other, Azzi and Nika being the more calm duo, and KK and Ice pushing and shoving each other in the back. It was a very chaotic 20 minute drive, Athena was surprised they didn't get pulled over with how much the car was shaking.
Arriving at the mall, Paige was the first one out of the car, rushing over to open Athena's door for her. The other girls complaining about how they didn't get the same treatment, the blonde ignoring them and keeping her focus on the girl in front of her.
The group roamed around the mall for a while, Paige, who was just there for the food, getting dragged into every. single. store. It got to a point when Athena was walking backwards, holding both sides of her open button up, talking about what she needs from said store and dragging her into it. Paige tried, but she couldn't be annoyed when Athena got excited over the little things, like if she saw something even remotely cute, she would about rip her arm off.
It was close to 7 when everyone got hungry, the group now sitting at a table in the foodcourt to decide where to go to eat. Athena left the table to go to the bathroom, and the rest of the girls took the opportunity to interrogate Paige.
"So..." Nika started.
"So...?" Paige questioned.
"What's going on with you and Thena?" KK interrupted.
"Uhm nothing? We're friends?"
"Yeah right. Paige i've been your best friend for years now and not once have you ever opened my door for me. And within 3 weeks of reuniting, you haven't let the girl touch a door handle." Azzi stated.
"Reuniting? Whatchu mean?" Ice said, joining in on the conversation.
"Thought you said y'all weren't good friends in high school?" KK recalled.
"What? No they knew each other very well. A little too well." Azzi answered for Paige.
"Azzi shut the fu-" Paige started only to get cut off.
"YOU GUYS DATED?!?" KK, Ice, Caroline, Nika, and Aubrey all said together.
"NO! No. We didn't date." Paige defended.
"But she wished they did." Azzi added, Paige giving her a glare.
"Shut up. Ok, no we didn't date....but...she's not wrong." Paige explained, looking over her shoulder to make sure Athena hasn't come back before continuing. "Look back in high school we were best friends, like best of best friends, spending every second together. Then i realized that i was in love with her and basically cut her off. The end."
"You cut Athena fucking Booker off? What is wrong with you?!" KK punched Paige in the side of the arm, "Why would you ever do that?! She's like...a goddess!"
"It felt like the best idea at the time, i was confused and 18 years old. I'm much more mature now, and i severely apologized to her and now we're good again."
"Ok, ok...so are like...your feelings back?" KK questioned.
"KK, it's been almost 4 weeks. No, and they aren't going to. Even if they did, i doubt she would ever want to go out with me."
"Who doesn't want to go out with you?" Athena spoke, spooking the entire group.
"Athena! Oh uh, no one." Paige quickly spoke, standing up out of her chair to face the girl.
"Does the superstar have a crush?!" Athena said, wiggling her eyebrows in a suggestive manner.
"Yes!-"
"-No. No, i don't."
Athena eyed her skeptically, but ultimately agreeing to leave it alone. While she was in the bathroom, everyone decided to go to a small mexican restaurant that was in the mall. As they were walking there, Athena was at the front of the group, walking with Caroline and Nika, and Paige was at the back, walking next to Azzi but barely paying any attention to her.
"Yeah so then we got married and had 5 kids together." Azzi said, noticing Paige wasn't listening.
"That's amazing."
"Paige." Azzi called, grabbing at Paige's arm.
"Hm? What? Sorry, what were you saying?" Paige turned her head for the first time to look at Azzi.
"You're going to burn holes into her head if you stare any longer." Azzi looked forward, back at Athena, who was now laughing at something Nika said. She looked back and saw a smile on Paige's face. "Paige answer me honestly...are your feelings back?"
"No, no....yes? Maybe...i- i don't know. I know i keep staring at her and stuff, but i feel like if i look away for even a second she'll disappear again. I'm just really happy to have her back, and i don't want to mess that up. And i know it hasn't been that long, but- i don't know."
"well...from what you told me you two were never great at moving slowly, i mean after your first kiss together, y'all made out like daily, even lost some clothing. Anyways you never really did move on, just thought you did. Maybe being around each other after so long of not dealing with those feelings and just shoving them deep down, is making them rise back up. Paige you were in love with the girl, you can't just get under someone else and expect that to go away."
"I know...I know. I just don't want a repeat of high school. If i truly was still in love with her, and i'm not saying i am, i want her to be mine. I want to treat her like the way she deserves, and not just get scared and run off again. But i feel like she would always have this doubt, a doubt that i would run away as soon as things got serious. I never was great at commitment outside of basketball."
"Paige, you look at that girl like she is holding your heart in her hands. There couldn't possibly be a thing in the world that would drive you away from her, not again. It won't be a repeat of high school, both of you have grown up. I'm not saying go run up to her and kiss her right now, but give it a few months, then think about this again and try to win her over."
"But that's so far away..." The blonde whined. She didn't even want to think about playing the long game, she already did that.
"Well you fucked up pretty bad P, so...welcome to the chase."
Paige tried to listen to Azzi's words to think about this in a few months, but as soon as the curly haired girl sped up to catch up with some of the group, Paige was thinking about it. She admitting to herself that over these last few weeks, her feelings, little by litt- nah fuck that, they were fucking flooding back like a tsunami.
She wanted to take it slow, go with the flow, maybe ask her out on an actual date soon but that all required Athena's full trust. Trust that she had to earn back...by playing the long game.
And praying someone better deserving didn't steal her away.