Chapter 19
She slept like the dead.
In all the years we’d known each other and during all the stolen moments I’d watched over her at night, Mari had never once slept peacefully. When she was younger, it was the fear of the unknown that kept her awake until she crawled into bed with Antoni and me. Only when we were a virtual puppy pile of elbows and knees would she finally drift into fitful dreams. As she grew older and more isolated, it was the responsibility of holding lives in her hands that made her toss and turn. I wasn’t sure she’d ever known peace, awake or not.
There were no sounds that night. No shivers and shakes, no tossing and turning. She fell into sleep like a stone into water and stayed there, unmoving, for hours. It was such a beautifully strange sight that I couldn’t close my eyes. I didn’t want to miss a second.
I traced my fingers idly through her hair, twirling and petting the strands while sunrise crept through where I’d forgotten to pull the blinds. It was hard to reconcile that the woman with her cheek against my chest was Mari. There had never been a point in my life when I thought for sure that I’d get what I wanted. People like me didn’t get miracles; those were reserved for saints and kindergarten teachers. They weren’t reserved for third-generation gangsters in love with their boss and best friend.
Yet, there I was with the only thing I’d ever wanted in my arms, and I was willing to pray to every deity and demon to keep her there.
Even stuck in thought of the sacrifices I’d offer, it was impossible to miss the moment she woke. Deep breaths changed to quick ones, and the hand on my chest tensed. Curling our fingers together, I pressed a kiss to her hair like I’d always done. Like I’d missed doing.
Please don’t let her pull away. I’d handle it, but it would break something in me to lose this closeness again. To be cast out of heaven after only one night.
“Good morning. How did you sleep?” I cursed the roughness in my voice until she shivered. Pressing a smile into her hair, I kept her tight against me. I had a million things I wanted to do and say, but I didn’t.
Mari was the best person I knew; she was also a runner. If I pushed her about last night before she was ready, she’d panic and bolt, and we didn’t have time for that. We had things we needed to discuss.
Keep it casual,I reminded myself as she twisted in my hold.
She peered up at me, sleepy eyes roaming my face like she was searching for something. When she didn’t find it, she relaxed back into my chest with a sigh.
“So good. I don’t think I’ve slept like that in ages.”
Or ever.
“I’m glad.”
Silence flowed between us, but I didn’t fill it. The tension that was gone while she dreamed crept its way between Mari’s shoulders. She was nervous about something. Why wouldn’t she be? We weren’t at war yet, but we could see it on the horizon, and there was so much to do. Something about the way she kept herself at the smallest distance from me told me it was something else.
“What’s bothering you?”
“What are we?”
I reared back in surprise. Of all the things she had going on, I hadn’t expected her first thought to be about us. “You need a label, mi reina?”
She snorted at the downright preening in my voice, but I couldn’t help it. The only woman I’d ever wanted was asking for a label when I’d expected her to run. I was preening. Sue me.
“Maybe,” she teased. “Should I call you my consort? Boyfriend seems too trivial, but husband feels like a reach since we’ve been together for two seconds.”
We laughed lightly until my finger caught her chin, tipping her face so she could see how serious I was. “You can call me whatever you want, Mari. As long as you call me yours.”
Watching her melt for me was worth all the years of waiting. Everything about her softened. Her eyes, her body, her voice. Even her smile was soft and sweet as she twisted to press us chest to chest. “You’ve missed your calling. I bet you would’ve made a fortune as a poet.”
“Pretty words don’t mean anything unless I say them to you.” She rolled her eyes, and I grinned, leaning down to sweep a kiss over her cheek.
“Make no mistake, I would marry you in a heartbeat if you let me.”
“If things were different, I’d let you.” There was no shortage of smugness in my smile, and she smacked me playfully across the chest. “So, partners?”
“Partners,” I agreed, fingers tightening in her hair to move her exactly where I wanted her. Our kiss was electric, with every drag of our lips together sending sparks of pleasure through me. “You’re mine, Marianna Elizabette Marcosa. Now and forever, in this life and the next.”
If I died tomorrow, I’d do so happily, knowing I was the one to put that smile on her face. The one that said she loved me and knew I loved her back.
“What’re we going to do about the Irish’s offer?”
That sent her guard up. I rubbed the length of her back to soothe her. I’d spent the hours she’d slept thinking over it all and coming to the same conclusion—we were fucked no matter what we did. “I’m not mad you didn’t tell me. O’Bannon’s an asshole of the highest order, and saying no to him right now isn’t a good idea. I don’t like it, but I understand.”
Her flinty gaze speared me to the spot. “I’m not marrying you off, Grey.”
“I know you aren’t.” She never would. Despite their similarities, Mari wasn’t her father. Mario would’ve signed the contract the second it was introduced without giving anyone’s free will a second thought. “But we’ll need to discuss navigating everything.”
Dominic would likely be the best person to discuss it with. Not just as underboss, but because he was better with people than I was. Mari was also better, but she was also compromised. Since we both knew that we’d need to bring him into the equation, I didn’t say anything. Knowing we’d likely be sharing her in the future meant I wanted to keep her to myself as much as I could. I wasn’t going to invite Dominic into our bed, even in name.
Mari was silent, deep in her own thoughts. I could almost see her jump from solution to solution, discounting and discrediting them as they came. Her fingers tapped a staccato beat on my chest the whole time. “We need to neutralize O’Bannon’s rage.”
Absently rubbing her hip with my thumb, I gave her the solution I’d come up with while she’d slept. “We won’t give him what he wants, so we give him what he needs. Money.”
It was no secret that O’Bannon held the second-largest territory in Seattle, but it was a secret that he’d been hemorrhaging money for years to maintain it. He was a brute with the face of a businessman, and while Aislynn had always been smart with her money, she’d learned it from watching her father misuse his.
Mari’s tapping paused. “You want to clear his debts.”
“Even forgiving what he owes us would be enough to make him reconsider the marriage.” She bit her lip, and I tried to push down the desire to bite them for her.
“In terms of money, yes, but O’Bannon wants babies. Heirs.” Mari shook her head, wild post-sex hair flying everywhere. “No amount of money can wipe away his desire for a dynasty.”
The thought of having kids with anyone but Mari made my stomach roll. Even knowing she wasn’t keen on having kids because of our lifestyle didn’t change my mind. I’d rather have a vasectomy tomorrow and never have a child than have it with someone else. Fuck that, and fuck O’Bannon for trying to make that choice for me. Although, I still could’ve had the vasectomy without his knowing. “I’m not a horse for him to stud out to fill his home with grandbabies, and neither is Aislynn.”
Except she sort of was. Daughters of dons rarely got to choose who they married, and they nearly always had to produce an heir. Their duty was to provide a legacy. My chest tightened at the reminder of what Mari had almost had to do. Even if it made me a shitty person and friend, in that moment, I was glad Antoni had died. Losing him gave Mari the freedom to choose a different life for herself. He’d saved her, again.
“What if we give him an alternative?” Mari mused, stroking down my side. “Cameron’s been talking about settling down for a few years, and he’s a direct relation. Even if his computer skills aren’t as good as yours, he’s technically a more beneficial match—with the added bonus that I wouldn’t have to worry about her safety anymore. She’d be family in every way.”
I thought it through, checking for any loopholes the Irishman could use to get his way, but I could find none. “Refusing a better-suited match would all but nullify O’Bannon’s advantage in a marriage contract. Instead of us insulting him by declining, he’d insult us.”
It was an option. The only one we had, really.
Mari hummed her agreement, and a bit of that weight she carried slid off. “I’ve got a meeting with Ash later. I’ll bring Cameron and talk to them then. Hopefully they’ll agree.”
I had no doubt in my mind they would. Cameron would do it for Mari, and Aislynn would do it to get out from under her father’s thumb. Even if the marriage was in name only, it would be better than any arrangement Sean came up with.
She settled back into my chest, fiddling with my fingers. “I should get you a ring. That’ll really piss Sean off.”
It was another joke meant to lighten the mood, but the kernel of truth in it made it impossible to state anything but the facts. “I’d wear one, though I’d prefer you got it because you love me. For now, let’s stick with what we’ve got. We have enough going on to have the Irishman gunning for us too.”
Mari sighed. “Do you ever wish you were born as someone else? Someone who didn’t have to worry about wars and treaties. You could do whatever you wanted, damn the consequences.”
No, because then I wouldn’t have met her. “When I was younger, yes, but I wouldn’t trade anything for the years I’ve had with you and Antoni.”
Antoni had been the closest thing to a brother I’d ever had, and even though we were the same age, he’d shaped me into the man I was today. There was no other life I’d choose without him—and his sister—in it.
Mari fell silent again, and this time, there was something else to the quiet. She adjusted herself, adding that distance back again. I could see her walling herself off from me, and I hated it.
“What is it, Mari?”
“Are you sure about this? I know this is different because of things with Dominic and?—”
She cut herself off when I rolled on top of her. There was no hesitation in the way I lifted her thigh to my hip and slid inside her. Her gasp cut through me as I struggled to breathe. Every part of fucking Mari felt like I was meant to be there. Like I could live and die at her mercy, sustained on her alone. Was this obsession or an all-encompassing devotion? I wasn’t sure, and I didn’t think I cared either.
“I don’t consider myself a jealous man, reina, but don’t talk about your other man while I’m in your bed.” I pulled out, pushing back in so slowly that I felt every inch of her tighten around my cock. It was the best kind of torture.“Or when I’m inside you.”
“He’s not my man,” she argued, but I knew better.
“Not yet, but even when he is, his place isn’t in this bed with us. Not unless I say so.” Her pussy clenched around me, and I laughed and groaned at the same time. “Dirty girl. You like that, don’t you? You like the thought of us fucking you together.”
She didn’t answer, even going as far as to bite her lip to keep quiet, but I knew the truth.
“Don’t hide from me, Mari. Tell me the truth. You want us to have you together, don’t you? Maybe I should let him take your mouth first so every time I thrust into this incredible pussy, it shoves you farther on his cock. Would you like that?”
With a hand under her, I kept us as close as I could. Lips, chest, and hips grazing with every movement between her thighs. Unfocused, her eyes a little glassy, she nodded.
“Words, Mari.”
“Yes,” she gasped.
“Good girl.” A harder thrust and a nip at her throat made her back arch, pressing us even tighter together. I wanted to surround her until all she could smell, see, taste, and feel was me. My pace was slow and even, but every deep snap of my hips would’ve sent her farther up the bed without my weight holding her down. It was heaven.
“Grey,” she gasped. Her fingers dug into my ass, and her breaths changed to desperate little pants. “I’m going to come.”
“Then do it. Come for me and show me you’re mine.”
Her eyes closed, and she threw her head back, exposing that long neck to me. I didn’t even think; I lunged. My teeth fit perfectly at the base of her neck, so I held her pulse between them. Mari screamed, her pussy contracting in waves around me until it nearly pulled an orgasm from me too. Thumb circling her clit to make the pleasure last longer, I let myself fuck Mari faster until every part of me was tingling with the need to come and she was crying out again. Only when she came down the last time did I allow myself to unravel, letting her swallow my moans as we kissed through my orgasm.
Keeping her pinned under me, I ran my hands over every part of her I could reach, massaging tense muscles until she was pliant and relaxed again. Not until our breathing slowed did I pull out, but even then, I didn’t go far. The sight of a well-fucked Mari with my come leaking out of her was enough to make me half hard again. A little dazed, I ran soft fingers up her inner thigh until I could push it back in again.
“What are you doing?”
“Keeping me in you for a little longer.” I slipped my fingers out of her warmth and held them in front of her mouth. “Taste.”
She did not hesitate as she obediently took them in her mouth, swirling her tongue until I was clean. I swooped down to kiss her, and the taste of us mixed together made me desperate for more. Mari nipped and sucked until she got me by the lip and chomped down.
“Motherfuck.” I pulled back, trying to frown, even while I was laughing. I could taste the blood already. “You bit me.”
“You bit me first.”
“I marked you,” I corrected. “Are you mad?”
Hopefully not. I ran my finger over the already-purple indent from my teeth. It was hot, and I wasn’t going to apologize for it when I was already desperate to see what else I could mark her with.
The way she glared up at me, all laughing frustration, told me she wasn’t. “I’m not a piece of property to claim, Greyson.”
“No, but you are mine. My woman. My heart. My partner. Ideally, I’d like people to know that.” She tried to keep her face stern, but I could read her. She loved it; she just didn’t know whether it would affect her leadership. Hard to manhandle a bunch of dudes with someone’s teeth on your neck. I got it.
“I’ll keep my teeth in non-visible places from now on, okay?” I promised.
At least until I find another way to lay my claim. The idea of jewelry returned, and I had an idea of something that would make us both happy.
Her lips twitched. “You better.”
Tipping myself to the side, I lifted an arm and waited. Sated and sleepy, Mari wrapped herself around me the way I’d always hoped she would. She’d nearly drifted off again when I spoke against her temple. “Don’t keep me out again, Mari. I couldn’t take it.”
“I won’t. We’re better together.”
We were, and that was how we’d remain. Together.