Chapter 37 Sophia
Powerpuff Girls Chat
Aria
Isabella, do you think Sophia is alive? She’s disappeared on us once again. You’re being a terrible friend, Soph. I’m heartbroken.
Isabella
Don’t count on it.
Isabella
And what is up with the name of this ridiculous chat? I still don’t get it.
Aria
We’ve been abandoned. And I still can’t believe you don’t get it.
Isabella
It’s terrible. I hate it.
Me
You sound exactly like Buttercup. The only thing you’re missing is the black hair. And that’s the reason behind this wonderful name.
Isabella
You sound ridiculous. Matter of fact, you sound just like Bubbles.
Me
Exactly. And I’m only missing the blonde hair. Duh!
Aria
Hello!? You’re not going to give us any explanations as to where you’ve been?
Me
Crazy couple of weeks. Long story short, I’m in Kentucky. But I’ll be back tomorrow.
Aria
Yes. I heard, which reminds me: I’m pissed at you for not telling me. But care to tell me why Damian told me Lorenzo is there too?
Me
Because he came with me.
Isabella
*throws book across the room* This is more interesting than my book. Care to tell us why?
Me
Too long to explain via text.
Isabella
Code for: they’re fucking.
Aria
You really think so?
Me
I have to go guys, but I promise we will meet when I get back. Have some quality girls’ time and all of that.
Aria
You owe us!
Isabella
I cannot wait to be proven right.
“ I wish I didn’t have to leave,” I tell Mom, hugging her tightly. Her hugs have always been the best.
She kisses the top of my head. “I’ll be fine. I have Bailey with me, she keeps me company.”
I purse my lips, nodding. I had a serious conversation with Bailey. She, of course, kept apologizing profusely. Ultimately, I let her stay because Mom needs routine more than anything. But she knows not to lie to me again. We like her a lot, but when it comes to Mom, I have to protect her and won’t let anyone get in the way of that.
This is our last day here, and I’ve been hanging out with Mom, keeping work and everything that has been happening with Lorenzo in the back of my mind. Max has been flooding my email inbox, nagging me about the work he keeps throwing my way like I’m his personal dog, at his beck and call when he wants it. I haven’t had time to think much, but something has to change. I can’t keep living like this.
I woke up today to the sound of the lawn mower, and when I looked out the window, it was Lorenzo taking care of the overgrown lawn I’ve been putting off since it’s hard to find someone cheap. I’m ashamed to admit it brought tears to my eyes when I walked into the bathroom to get ready for the day. He’s just so…sweet. And does everything without being asked. He’s such a protector and a giver. He shows the way he cares through actions, not words. This doesn’t help my fragile heart, which already feels too much for the man. It’s going to be so much harder to let him go when the time comes. The logical thing to do is break it off now, but I selfishly want to keep this going until we go to Las Vegas, like we agreed. I’m all too aware this is going to destroy my heart, but I want to embrace him and everything he has to offer for a little while longer. Let myself live in a fairytale for once.
The screen door of the entrance opens, and Lorenzo walks in with his face flushed and hair sticking to his forehead, his tank top hugging every hard muscle that’s dripping with sweat. He brushes his hair away from his face, the movement flexing his bicep, and I have to do everything in my power to not lick my lips eagerly at the sight of him. He’s all man and muscle. Something you would never think possible, since he’s always in suits and meetings. The man puts Adonis to shame; that’s the only way to describe how perfectly sculpted he is.
A boyish smile plays on his lips. “The lawn is all ready, Charlotte.”
Mom strides over and gives his cheek a couple of light pats. “You’re a keeper. My daughter is very lucky.”
“Mom,” I warn, heat rising on my cheeks.
“I’m going to get you guys some lemonade,” Mom quips, completely ignoring me, which wins her a glare from me and a laugh from Lorenzo.
When she’s out of earshot, I close the distance between us and hug him even though he’s all sweaty. I honestly couldn’t care less. “You didn’t have to do this. Thank you.”
He hugs me back, kissing the top of my head. “No need to thank me. I already reached out to a lawn company and scheduled them to come weekly.”
My shoulders tense, and I take a step back, shaking my head. “I can’t afford that, Lorenzo.”
He rolls his eyes. “Good thing you’re not paying for it, then.”
I gape at him in disbelief. “Lorenzo, no. Are you crazy?”
His knuckles brush my jawline, a trace of goosebumps taking over at the simple touch. “I want to help in any way I can. And I’m not asking you, I’m telling you this is what I’m going to do.” He winks before dropping a quick kiss on my lips.
God, this man. What did I do to deserve to be treated like this? This has me holding back another set of tears.
Mom walks out of the kitchen with some cups and a pitcher of her famous homemade lemonade. “I hope you guys are thirsty.”
“For your lemonade? Always,” I reply, pushing once again all the emotions that want to find their way out of me and grab a cup instead, serving some of the delicious, citrusy juice and handing it to Lorenzo. “Get ready to try the best lemonade you will ever have.”
Lorenzo smirks, taking the cup from my hand and taking a sip. His eyebrows rise in surprise. “Wow, yeah. This is amazing. Charlotte, I need the recipe for the restaurant I’m opening in Panamá. This would go so well with the menu.”
Mom smiles, her eyes shining with excitement. “Anything for you, dear.”
Even though they only met a few days ago, their relationship has quickly flourished. Mom is infatuated with Lorenzo. They love to talk about food, cook together, and gang up on me every chance they get. Surprisingly, Lorenzo has been in his element. He looks…happy. Rested. Like he belongs here with us. These past few days, I’ve been living in a daydream where Lorenzo and I make it work and end up together, and Mom lives close to us and we go have dinner with her on Sundays, and they cook together, always talking about food and joking. Maybe even have the rest of the group join us. And eventually, when we start having kids, we can make it a whole thing. Of course, I know these are silly wishes. But it’s nice to dream sometimes, it feeds the soul.
“I’m going to take a shower, because the last thing I want to do is stink up the place,” he says, dropping the cup on the coffee table and then kissing me on the cheek before walking to the room.
Mom sighs. “I love him.”
I purse my lips. “Yeah, well, don’t get used to it.”
She looks at me for a moment, her eyes studying me. “We need to talk.”
Oh, boy .
“About what?” I ask casually, grabbing a cup of lemonade for myself and sitting back on the couch.
“I need you to tell me what happened with Miles. Because whatever happened with him has you in this sort of funk I don’t understand. I need you to stop hiding the truth from me,” she says sternly, using the authoritative voice she used to use when I was a kid.
“Nothing much to say. We didn’t work out,” I mumble.
“Sophia Annette Evans,” she chastises, popping her hip and resting a hand on it. “Then why did he show up here all drunk, begging for Amelia to take him back?” She raises an eyebrow. “I need you to stop treating me like a baby. I understand you’re overprotective and want to make sure I’m okay, but I am your mother. I deserve to know what’s happening in your life.”
I laugh humorlessly, shaking my head and avoiding her gaze. “Drop it, Mom.”
“Why are Miles and Amelia dating?” she presses. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
I place the lemonade cup on the coffee table with a loud thud . “Because I don’t particularly want to relive the fact that my boyfriend of four years was cheating on me with my own sister the whole time and I was too stupid to notice,” I confess, devoid of emotion, my eyes finding her.
Mom gasps, her eyes bulging as she sits on the couch and grabs my hand. “Amelia did that?”
“Mom.” I sigh, rubbing my temple. “Amelia is…a lot. You know? After Dad died, you were so checked out, and I don’t blame you. You were grieving. But I dealt with her the best I could. She grew angry. Rebellious. I guess that never went away.”
“I don’t understand why she would do that.” Mom gapes, shaking her head in disbelief .
“Because Amelia thrives in destruction. Just like Dad did,” I say softly. I feel so guilty for putting this all on her. For shining light on the reality of the situation. Here’s to hoping it doesn’t bite me in the ass.
Tears start to fill her eyes, threatening to spill over. “I’m sorry, honey. I’m sorry you’ve been dealing with so much and you felt like you couldn’t come to me. I feel like a burden when I should be supporting you, giving you advice.”
I sit closer to her, bringing her into a side hug. “Mom, you are not a burden. I will always take care of you. You haven’t had an easy life, and all I want you to do is be happy. You never have to worry about me.”
“You haven’t had an easy life either. Because of me. Because I never left your father. I—” She stops, breathing in and out slowly, trying to calm herself.
“We don’t have to talk about this. The last thing I want is for you to end up in the hospital again,” I say softly.
“No,” she replies, her tone sharp. “We need to talk about this.”
I start rubbing her back with soft circles and nod. I know her psychologist has told her she needs to face her past to keep moving on. Maybe it’s time. Maybe she’s finally ready. Part of me is hopeful. Part of me wants to believe this will be a distant memory, and all the abuse, the berating, and the hate will be so distant it won’t affect her— us —anymore.
“I met your father when we were just kids. And we truly loved each other at some point. But everything just…changed. Your father was sick, Sophia. Alcoholism is a sickness. I’ve come to accept this. It destroyed him and us. I will never, and I mean never, forgive him for everything he put us through. But some part of me wanted to believe he was going to change.” Her tears start to come out rapidly, but her voice remains controlled. So much different than before. I’ve never felt so proud. “And because I was clinging to a life that was long gone, I affected the two most important people. The only two people who mattered—my daughters. When your father died, I felt like a part of me died, too. But another part of me was also relieved he was gone, and I’ve felt so guilty over the years for that.”
“You have no reason to feel guilty, because if we’re being completely honest right now, I also felt relieved when he passed away. It was like a huge burden was lifted. Even though I had to step in and take care of you and Amelia, I did it happily, because at least he wasn’t here to harm us anymore,” I confess, my voice barely above a whisper as I try my best to push down all of those emotions. While I’m proud of her for speaking up, I can’t be showing those types of emotions in front of her. I need to be strong for her.
“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry you had to carry this burden for so long. But I will keep working on it, going to the doctor, and taking my medication. And eventually, maybe I can even work,” she says hopefully.
I shake my head. “I will always take care of you. I never want you to worry.”
“I want to, eventually. I want to leave this place,” she says, barely above a whisper. “Living in this place, filled with so many bad memories, I want to let them go. Have a fresh start.”
“God.” I groan, leaning against the couch. “I never thought about that. I am such an idiot. I will find you a new place, okay?”
“No. You’ve done enough.”
“Mom, you need to understand I will always do everything in my power to see you happy. I want to see you live . Because…” I inhale, holding back my tears. “When Dad was al ive, you weren’t living. You were surviving. We all were. So I need you to live now. For me, okay?” I whisper shakily.
After a beat of silence, she nods. “Okay.”
We hug each other tightly, and as I’m letting go, she asks, “Can we talk about that boy now?”
I chuckle. “You really want to get it all out there today, huh?”
“Stop avoiding.” She hits my shoulder playfully. “Do you love him?”
I start playing with my cuticles, avoiding her gaze. “Even if I did, I can’t, Mom.”
“But why? I’ve seen the way you look at him. I’ve never seen you smile like that. And the way he looks at you.” She sighs, a wide smile playing on her lips. “That boy adores the ground you walk on. He loves you. I know it. Even if you guys are too blind to notice.”
How do I explain to her that even if that were the case, it still wouldn’t matter? I don’t do love. I can’t. I was supposed to be loved by my father, but we all know how that turned out. All my life I’ve sought validation, which is how I found Miles. I let him treat me like I didn’t matter, but I never saw it clearly because I wanted the companionship. I wanted to be seen. I wanted the attention I never got from my father. I see it now, as clear as day, Miles wasn’t good for me. He took advantage of my weaknesses.
Yes. But Lorenzo is not Miles, and he has proven that.
He’s a protector. Fierce. Funny. Humble. True to himself. He doesn’t make me feel like my weaknesses are a burden. If anything, he makes me feel like I’m capable of anything. In a self-destructive kind of way, I don’t think I’m worthy of that. I’m stubborn. Can’t process emotions correctly. And an overall complete mess. That’s not what he needs. He deserves a woman who’s the complete opposite. A woman who can love him wholeheartedly.
In a world full of boys, Lorenzo is a gentleman. The kind of man who seems almost fictional. The prince charming every children’s book talks about. He’s the guy who listens and makes you feel like you’re the only person in the room. He’s the guy who remembers small details. The kind of person who puts on your seatbelt to make sure you’re secured. The kind of guy who remembers your dream and makes it a reality because he wants you to forget about your problems and live in the moment. He’s the kind of guy who, when he smiles, it’s warm and genuine. His actions speak louder than words, and when you’re around him you feel…safe.
Lorenzo is the man you don’t believe exists until you meet him.
“He’s a wonderful man. Perfect, even. I just don’t think—” I take a deep breath, gulping down the ball of emotion that’s finding its way up. “It doesn’t matter, Mom, okay? Please drop it.”
She pulls me into an embrace, kissing the top of my head. “You deserve all he can offer you and more, honey. You deserve to be loved. Promise me you’ll open yourself to it.”
“I can’t?—”
She interrupts. “ Promise me , Sophia.”
I let out a long, tired sigh. “I promise,” I murmur.
But I don’t mean it.
For our last day, Lorenzo decided to barbecue some steaks on the back patio. We even invited Bailey, per Mom’s request. I’m glad to know she has someone she can rely on when I’m not here. It gives me peace to know I made the right decision to give her another chance.
“We forgot the sour cream for the mashed potatoes!” Mom exclaims, walking out on the patio.
As Lorenzo is flipping the steaks, he looks over his shoulder. “I can go get it when I’m done here.”
Mom waves her hand dismissively. “Bailey can take me. You two love birds can stay here. Right, Bailey?” she asks, looking over her shoulder.
Bailey nods. “Of course.”
“Mom, you don’t have to. I can go.”
She rolls her eyes, exasperated. “No. I enjoy going to the grocery store. We’ll be back.” She turns around with Bailey following after her before I can voice my complaints.
I approach Lorenzo and wrap my arms around him from behind. With him, I always crave his touch. It comes naturally to me. A million butterflies always take charge when I hug him and touch him, and I love every second of it.
He turns around, wrapping his arms around my waist and dropping a soft kiss on my lips. “Hi, Blue .”
I smile brightly, lifting my chin so I can look at him. “Hi, Ace .”
My eyes find his, and I get lost in those beautiful light-brown irises that are looking at me with so much adoration. And while it should make me happy, it only breaks my heart instead. We’re more than halfway through the summer, and I’m still not ready to let go.
The sound of tires against gravel in front of the house catches my attention, taking me out of my trance. No way they’re already back .
“Didn’t they just leave?” Lorenzo asks, pulling the thought out of my brain.
I frown. “Yeah, let me go check. Maybe they forgot something.”
I open the back door of the house and leave it open then walk to the front porch. My blood boils when I see who it is.
Amelia. And following her like a lost puppy is Miles.
I stride toward them furiously. “What the hell are you doing here?”
Amelia rolls her eyes like she has every right to be annoyed. “I’m really getting sick and tired of you acting like you own the world.”
I laugh humorlessly. “Are you describing yourself? Take a look in the mirror. I think you’ve done enough, and I need you to leave before Mom returns.”
“I’m not leaving. I have every right to talk to my mother.” She squares her shoulders. “I need help, and you’ve made it crystal clear you’re not willing to give it.”
Oh, for the love of fucking God.
“You have no right to shit!” I yell, the emotions I’ve been bottling for years bubbling up. There’s no taming this beast any longer. I’ve done it for long enough. “All you do is take and destroy, just like Dad!”
“Oh, and you’re so much better with your big city job and your big billionaire city boyfriend ?” she retorts, crossing her arms. “You’re a nobody , Sophia. An unloved, attention whore that loves to control others. He’ll get tired of you in no time. You’re incapable of being loved, I think we’ve proven that already.”
For the first time in my life, I see red. My pulse pounds in my ears, every beat sending a rush of heat straight to my head. My hand moves on instinct before my mind can catch up, and the next thing I know, my palm connects with her cheek with a sharp, unforgiving slap. The sting radiates through my fingers, and the sound of it echoes in the tense air between us. A suffocating silence follows, but the throb in my hand keeps pulsing. I ball my fist as tightly as I can, trying to stop the shaking that’s overtaking my body.
I’ve never lost my cool with Amelia like that. But I’m so fucking frustrated. Hearing her say those things, the same thoughts I think about myself more often than not. I am unlovable. My scars are too many to count. My heart refuses to be beaten again, and that’s what, at the end of the day, makes me incapable of being loved. But she should be the last one to look down on me and judge.
Miles gets between us, pushing me. “What the fuck, Sophia!?” he yells, getting in my face.
“I suggest you take a step back,” Lorenzo’s icy and sharp deep voice cuts through Miles’s yelling.
And even in the warm summer daylight, it feels as if my surroundings drop a few degrees. Shivers run down my spine as Lorenzo eats the distance between us with menacing strides. The air is charged with a strange, dangerous electricity as Lorenzo’s hands find my waist, gripping my hips possessively as he gently pushes me behind him.
“Control your bitch, because she hit my girlfriend!” Miles spits, getting in Lorenzo’s face.
Before Miles can utter another word, Lorenzo’s fist flies hard and fast, connecting with his jaw. Mile’s head jerks back with the impact as blood starts rushing out of his mouth.
Before he can recover, Lorenzo grabs him by the collar of his shirt, shaking him like a rag doll. “You really need to learn when to shut the fuck up,” he says through gritted teeth, his fist meeting his face again. “But don’t worry, I’m more than happy to give you a lesson.”
I reach for his shoulder, trying to ease the tension. “Lorenzo, forget it. It’s not worth it.”
His eyes snap to mine, wild and unforgiving, with a simmering anger that rattles every bone on my body. “Stay back,” he orders gruffly. After a beat, his eyes soften, scanning my whole face. “Please.”
I raise my hands in surrender and nod, taking a step back. My stubborn self, who loves to be proud and prove to the world she doesn’t need anyone to take care of her, is nowhere to be found. For once, I want to rely on someone, and there’s no one better than him.
He snaps his head back to Miles, his tone unwavering. “This is for calling her a bitch.” His fist connects with his stomach. “This is for not knowing your place.” His knee connects with his groin. “And this is for cheating on the most wonderful woman in the world and making her feel like she’s worth nothing when we both know the only piece of shit here is you .” He finishes, his fist connecting with his face one last time, right on the nose, landing with a loud crack. He pushes Miles, letting him fall to the ground.
Miles lets out a pained groan, blood dripping down his nose as he tries to control it with his ragged shirt. I can hear Amelia yelling at the top of her lungs, but I’m in a trance. Having an out-of-body experience as everything unfolds before me.
“You’re going to pay for this, mark my fucking words!” Amelia yells, trying to push Lorenzo, but his towering build makes it impossible for her to do any sort of damage.
I step closer to her, ready to unleash my frustration all over again, but more than anything, I want to settle this before Mom returns. “You need to leave, Amelia. I don’t want you to show your face ever again. Consider me and Mom dead. I’m done cleaning up your messes. I’m done doing favors for you when all you’ve done is take advantage of my kindness.” My tears of anger start to come out, and even though I hate every second of it, I can’t make them stop. “I will always love you because you’re my sister, but you’ve done enough damage. Go live your life, and we’ll live ours. Please,” I say through a resigned sigh.
She gapes at me, fury flashing in her eyes. Funny . I thought she was incapable of feeling anything. “You think you’re so much better than me, don’t you?” she spits, her nostrils flaring. “You and I come from the same fucked up background, Sophia, so wake the fuck up.” She flashes me a smile that is straight up diabolical . “Before you keep looking down at me, get off your high horse and realize that this”—she points between me and Lorenzo—“will be over in no time. He’ll get tired of you, because no one wants to love someone like you.” She sneers, that diabolical grin still playing on her lips as her words gut me, knifing my already beaten heart. “Good luck with your miserable life, sister, because you’re going to need it.” She grabs Miles’s hand and drags him to their car and they both finally leave.
As soon as their car is out of view, I drop to my knees, my chest tightening as I struggle to breathe through my tears. Lorenzo drops next to me and brings me in for a hug.
He kisses my forehead and brushes my hair with his strong, big hands over and over again in a soothing motion. “You’re okay, baby. You’re okay. I’m here.” His voice is soft and reassuring.
When I finally calm down, I whisper, “Lorenzo, you can’t tell Mom what happened.”
“Sophia,” he says through a pained groan. “You can’t keep pretending everything is fine. ”
My gaze snaps to his. “ Promise me .” It’s all I manage to say. I need him to understand how important this is. I want him to understand where I’m coming from, but the words just get stuck, refusing to come out.
He rubs the back of his neck, his lips twitching in doubt. “If that’s what you want.”
I rise from the ground, brushing the dust from my knees. “Thank you,” is all I say before turning around and walking back inside the house.
The rest of the night goes like normal. I put on my fakest smile and I laugh like everything is perfectly fine, even though the cracks of my heart are barely hanging on. And I take in every moment I can with my mom before I have to get back to reality and deal with the rest of my shitty life.