Chapter 39 Lorenzo
“ W here the hell have you been?” Ivy asks as a way of greeting me as soon as I step into Vortex’s main bar on the first floor, where she typically works as a bartender.
“Well, hello to you, too.” I smirk, taking a seat at the bar.
Without a word, she grabs a glass of whiskey, but before she pours it, I say, “No. Just water, please.”
Her eyes bulge, but she doesn’t say anything and serves me a cup of water instead. Ever since I’ve been hanging around Sophia, the craving to drink my usual whiskey has been less and less. The thought is unsettling. I’m self-aware and know the only reason I used to drink so much was because I wanted to numb those crawly feelings that would eat me alive. Sophia, though, has given me more than enough reasons to be in the moment and…feel.
Yup. There’s no denying anymore that what I feel for Sophia is more than a simple attraction. I’m way over my head, and I need help. My mind is a mumbling mess about this whole situation, so I have no other option than to talk to the people who know me best. And despite them loving to fuck with me, I know they can tread this situation carefully and help me figure out what the hell is happening to me.
“Hello, sweetheart,” Matteo says to Ivy as he takes a seat next to me. He’s such a shameless flirt, you’d never guess he’s pining for a certain ray of— not —sunshine.
“Well, hello there. Aren’t you all smiles today?” Ivy raises an eyebrow.
He shrugs. “You know me.”
Damian grunts, taking the other seat next to me. “I don’t know how you always manage to be shitting rainbows and rays of sunshine. You exhaust me.”
Ivy rolls her lips, holding back a laugh. “Always lovely to see you, Damian.”
He nods without saying a word. Most people think Damian hates everyone, but the guy can be decent when he wants to.
I silently take in their exchange, until Damian’s eyes find mine. “You’ve been so cryptic about why you wanted to meet with us. What the hell is wrong? Are you in trouble?” he asks gruffly.
Matteo tilts his head, squinting his eyes at me as well. “You look different.”
Ivy nods. “I agree.”
I roll my eyes. “The fuck does that mean?”
“You look more relaxed,” Matteo points out, his eyes dancing with mischief. “Have any fun in Panamá?”
“Forget about that,” Damian says dryly. “I’m more interested to know why you were in Kentucky with Sophia. I thought we had a very insightful conversation not that long ago.” He shoots me a withering glare. “Or did you forget already?”
Ivy lets out a small gasp. “You’ve been hanging out with Sophia? ”
“Oh, yeah. Didn’t he tell you? She has been working on an article about him, and they’ve been spending some time together,” Matteo quips.
“Damn, you’ve been keeping this from me.” Ivy hits my shoulder. “That’s rude.”
“How do you know when you’re in love?” I blurt, interrupting them. Might as well get it out of the way.
They snap their heads my way, gaping at me, all of them at a loss for words.
“We have to backtrack here, because I’m confused,” Ivy says, dropping her elbows on the bar and resting her chin on the palm of her hands. “And very intrigued.”
I fist my hair in frustration. “Okay, long story short. Me and Sophia have grown rather close this summer. She suggested we make a deal, a friends-with-benefits thing. I accepted because, to be honest, I couldn’t get her out of my head. I thought this was the perfect way for us to have fun this summer while working closely together. Except now, I have all these feelings I can’t explain.”
Matteo snickers, and I glare at him. “I’m getting real sick and tired of you always laughing at my problems.”
Damian hits the back of my head, and I hiss, “Motherf?—”
He interrupts. “Qual è il problema con te?? 1 ”
“Well, right now I'm in pain thanks to you,” I hiss, rubbing the back of my head.
“I told you to not play games with her. I could kill you right now,” Damian snaps, nostrils flaring.
Ivy cuts in, her voice soft. “Hey, hey, guys. Let’s calm down now. Let’s hear him out first.”
Damian thins his lips, giving me a clipped nod to continue.
I let out a long sigh, mulling over my words. “Everything changed…somehow. The more I understood her, the more I wanted to be there for her—to protect her, to be the shoulder she could lean on.” I shake my head, feeling more out of my comfort zone than ever before. “When she walks into a room, my heart aches for her. When someone hurts her? I want to burn the whole fucking world. Not being near her at all times kills me. I miss her so much right now, it hurts to fucking breathe. It’s hard to explain,” I finish, exasperated and looking at everything except them. This was a mistake. What the hell was I thinking?
This crawly feeling is not getting better as time passes. If anything, it keeps getting worse. We’ve been back from Kentucky for almost two weeks, and we haven’t seen each other much due to our busy schedules. I ended up having some electrical issues with the restaurant in Panamá, so I had to set everything back. Sophia has been slammed with work, which is nothing new. I don’t understand how she does it all. The article, at this point, is in the back of our minds. I don’t know what she has planned, and I’m afraid to find out.
“Wow,” Ivy begins. “When did everything change?”
“When I dropped everything for her and flew with her to Kentucky to take care of her mom,” I reply without a second thought. “But if I’m being honest, since the day I laid my eyes on her again. There was something about her that called to me, guys. As if the universe was telling me this is your sign, take it .”
“Do you love her?” Matteo asks.
I run my fingers through my hair, shrugging half-heartedly. “I don’t know. ”
Ivy nods, her fingers tapping against the table. “When is this deal of yours supposed to end?”
“Tomorrow.” I look at Damian, finding his face enigmatic. Not an emotion in sight. “We agreed we would end this before going to Las Vegas.”
“And will you be okay with just walking away and letting her, I don’t know, meet someone else and fall in love?” Matteo asks, his tone probing.
“She will be in your life forever. I’m marrying her best friend,” Damian chimes in, tone deadly serious. “Will you ever be okay seeing her with another man?”
My heart beats erratically at the thought. Jealousy claws at my heart, refusing to let go. “Fuck no,” I spit, gripping the glass of water so hard, my knuckles are going white.
“Then what are you going to do about it?” Matteo presses.
“I don’t deserve her,” I whisper more to myself than them. “How can I love such a wonderful woman, when I don’t even know?—”
“Cut the bullshit, Lorenzo,” Ivy interrupts, her voice serious. She grabs my hand and squeezes it. “I’m so sick of hearing this I don’t know how to love speech. You’re a wonderful man with a great heart. Or did you forget everything you’ve done for me?” She gives me a pointed look.
“You’re one of my best friends, it was the right thing to do,” I reply easily.
“You are unselfish and kind, always caring about others. You do know how to love, and you do deserve to be loved. It doesn’t matter how your upbringing was. That doesn’t define you,” Ivy urges. “It doesn’t matter that you didn’t grow up with a mom or that your dad was a manipulative asshole. Because despite all of that, you’ve become someone you should be proud of. ”
I scoff at that. How can I be proud of myself? I feel like every day of my life I’m being drowned by the expectations my father left me. But no one knows that. No one except Sophia. That’s how much trust I have for her.
“I agree with her, man,” Matteo adds. “We’ve barely seen you this summer, but you look different. There’s a different light in you, and I think it has everything to do with the woman you’re trying to deny you love.”
They both look at Damian. Ivy bulges her eyes and tilts her head my way, as if saying, Aren’t you going to say something?
Damian lets out a long sigh, his hand reaching out and gripping my shoulder. “I know how you feel. When Aria walked into my life, I never thought I would end up here. You know more than everyone what I went through, and how unattached I became when it came to…feelings.”
He’s right. I witnessed firsthand how much of an asshole his father was. I never liked the man. I never understood what my aunt ever saw in that man. I witnessed how Damian changed after being belittled by his father. But I was also thankful to be a witness to how Aria changed him for the better. How love changed him for the better.
Maybe, just maybe, it could change me, too.
“And I believe you,” Damian whispers roughly. “The way you talk about her, I see it in your eyes. You love her, Enzo. The way you feel? The overprotectiveness that is taking over you? That’s exactly how I realized I fell in love with Aria. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for that woman. You punched the fuck out of her shitty ex, for God’s sake. Which”—he snorts a laugh—“I’m proud of you for that. It was long overdue.”
My eye twitches involuntarily at the mention of that fucker. It’s hard for me to believe such a wonderful, strong, and confident woman like Sophia was ever with that sorry ass of a man.
“How do you know about that?” I frown.
He rolls his eyes. “You forget Sophia and Aria are practically sisters. She told her all about it.”
“Did she say anything else?” My tone is hopeful. I know I sound like a pathetic fool, but the curiosity is killing me.
He thins his lips, shaking his head. “I already said too much.”
I simply nod, because he’s right. Anything Aria has told him was in confidence. The last thing I want to do is cause issues between them.
“You’re in love, Enzo. This is good .” Ivy pats my hand twice.
I shake my head. “You guys don’t understand. Even if I did, I don’t know how to show her. She…” I sigh, mulling over my words. Wondering how much I want to share. All the time I’ve spent with Sophia has given me an idea of how she works. “She’s a closed book. Doesn’t open up. I don’t know how to show her we could be more.”
“It’s simple. You need to show her with actions, not words,” Ivy replies. “You need to show her why you’re the man for her and why you’re perfect for each other.”
“And you need to be honest,” Damian adds. “Do not be like me. I lied my way through so much, I almost lost Aria for good.”
I nod, remembering how Damian almost took the blame for something he didn’t do. He was willing to lose everything for the woman he loves. He just went the wrong way about it. Instead of being honest, he tried to shoulder all the responsibility.
Matteo speaks now, his voice is soft, eyes lost in thought. “If she’s important to you, you need to be there for her. Fight for her. You will regret it if you don’t.” He shakes his head, his eyes focusing on me. “That much I can promise you.”
“What if I scare her off?” I ask. Her walking away from me is my biggest fear. I think that’s why I’ve been putting off telling her how I feel. But I can’t keep pretending I don’t want more.
Ivy shrugs. “If she feels the same way, she may be scared, sure. But she’ll open herself to it.”
I don’t know if my heart can take her not feeling the same way. The logical part of me is telling me she does feel the same. This is not one-sided. But what if, despite how she feels, she refuses to give us a chance?
“Damn, Ivy. When did you become a love coach?” Matteo asks.
“You idiots wouldn’t know what love is even if it hit you in the face. Someone has to step in and be the voice of reason.”
“Care to help me?” Matteo begs, clasping his hands together.
She laughs. “Of course. Lay it on me.”
Me and Damian snort at that.
“Good luck with that ,” I say.
“The girl he’s pining for couldn’t hate him more—it’s humanly impossible ,” Damian adds.
Matteo glares at both of us, hissing, “ Shut up .”
“People do say there’s a fine line between love and hate,” Ivy pipes up.
“Does that mean I have a chance with you?” Julian says, appearing out of nowhere.
“Where the fuck did you come from?” I frown.
“He’s always here when I work.” Ivy rolls her eyes.
“Dude.” Matteo barks a laugh. “That’s borderline creepy. ”
Damian shrugs. “I think it’s endearing.”
“Says the guy who stalked his now fiancée,” I mutter, shaking my head in disbelief.
Julian shoots Matteo an annoyed glare. “Can’t I hang out with my favorite girl?”
If I didn’t know any better, I would think Ivy’s cheeks are blushing. “You’re an idiot, Julian. Déjame en paz? 2 .”
“I’ll wear you down one day,” he replies confidently, winking at her.
“In your dreams, pretty boy. I don’t date Puerto Ricans.”
Matteo tilts his head, confused. “Aren’t you Puerto Rican, though?”
Ivy gives Matteo an exasperated look. “Exactly.”
“You wound me,” Julian says with an exaggerated sigh, rubbing his chest in circles.
“I have a feeling after you find your flavor of the night you’ll be just fine.” She makes a shooing motion. “Now, leave me alone.”
He thins his lips and shakes his head, walking away.
“That guy has it bad for you,” Matteo points out.
She shakes her head. “He just wants what he can’t have.”
I nod. “I agree. I consider him a friend, but that guy is a mess. Don’t fall for it, Ivy.”
Matteo gives me an incredulous look. “If you could change, why can’t he?”
“Enzo has always been a good man. Julian is an overgrown child, end of story,” Ivy snaps, her tone serious.
We all share a look as Ivy busies herself cleaning some whiskey glasses. Ivy tells me everything, but there’s something I must be missing here. It’s rare to see her losing her cool.
“What are you going to do about Sophia?” Matteo asks.
I scrub my face with my left hand, pondering. “I just need to keep showing up for her.”
Damian gives me an approving nod. Knowing him, that’s the most I’m going to get out of him.
“Attaboy,” Ivy squeaks. “You got this.”
I’m a determined motherfucker, and I’m ready to make the ultimate play—make Sophia Evans, the girl of my dreams, give us a chance.
1 ? What is the matter with you?
2 ? Leave me alone.