Chapter 18
Xavier is outfitted with a tracker, a thin metal band that Teriq snaps around his wrist with great glee and more force than necessary.
It can’t be released without a security code that only the Authority knows.
I guess they don’t trust me enough to not free my new buddy.
Actually, make that my new roommate, because—against my very vocal protests—I am now sharing a room with Xavier Ford.
I insisted that I’m perfectly capable of keeping a watchful eye on him even if he’s next door, but I suspect this is the Authority’s way of punishing me for fighting for him.
They don’t think a Command lieutenant deserves my loyalty, and they’ve chosen to drive that point home by removing the small love seat across from my bed and replacing it with a bed for Xavier.
“Is this really necessary?” he complains, holding up his wrist.
“Trust me, I’m not thrilled about sharing a lavatory with you, either.”
“I was talking about this fucking tracker. But you’re right. The lav bit is equally preposterous. What if I want to jerk off in the shower?”
“I can stand there and watch,” I say helpfully. “Cheer you on.”
Xavier doubles over. “Oh, hellfuck, that would be amazing.”
Chuckling to myself, I pull the bedsheet over his mattress and secure it in place. Xavier watches me make his bed, his laughter dissolving into a ragged breath.
“You’re an idiot,” he informs me. “You shouldn’t have advocated for me.”
“Would you prefer to be in a cell?”
“What’s the difference?” He waves his wrist. “I’m still a prisoner.”
“Yeah, but now you’re a prisoner who gets to hang out with me all the time.”
“Gee, can’t wait.”
“You’re all set,” I say, fluffing his pillow before I walk to my own bed and flop down.
“Are you sure we can speak openly?” He looks around the room as if someone might materialize out of the walls at any second.
“It’s fine. I jam the signal whenever I’m in here.”
His eyes meet mine. “Have you spoken to Cross?”
“Not since last night. We rendezvoused in the city.” I pause. “At Haven.”
“Wow, Darlington. I’ve been crying myself to sleep in a cell every night and you’re off banging my best friend in brothels?”
“You have not been crying.”
“I notice you didn’t deny the banging part.”
My cheeks grow hot. “We can skip over everything except for the fact that he lied to me. He was covered in bruises. They beat him a lot worse than he let on.”
“Travis?”
“Roe. They were punishing him for his stupidity. You know, because of the evil Aberrant woman he unknowingly allowed into Elite.”
“But they don’t know that he’s…?” Xavier trails off.
I’ll never say it out loud, either, so I just shake my head no. “They stripped him of his command,” I reveal.
“Fuck off. They didn’t.”
“Yep. Radek is running Silver Elite now. At least until Cross can regain Travis’s trust.”
“Cross must be fucking pissed.”
Uneasiness washes over me. “That’s the thing. He isn’t. He seems…resigned.”
“Resigned to what?”
“I don’t know. But he’s talking like shit is hopeless. Like society is doomed and trying to fix it is futile.”
“Maybe it is,” Xavier says glumly. He examines his surroundings again. The gray walls and sparse furniture. “So, what? This is our life now?”
“For now,” I say.
“I don’t trust these people.”
“So you trust the Command, the people who issued a red threat for you? You trust Travis?”
“No. I don’t trust any of them, either.”
“Since when?”
“Since always. The only person I’ve ever trusted is Cross, even over my own family.
And if I’m being honest, any trust I might’ve had for Travis or my other superiors went out the window after the Jubilee.
When Travis asked us to round up all the silverbloods, including the ones who’d been loyal to the Company for decades.
I’m not keen with killing innocent people. ”
“What about guilty ones?”
He contemplates that for a second. “Killing isn’t something I enjoy regardless of who it is.”
“Why did you join the Command, then?”
“Because Cross did. What else was I going to do? I’m not good at anything, Darlington,” he says with a chuckle. “I like to fight. I like to get dirty. I like to shoot guns and blow shit up. Where else would I get to do that?”
“You could do it here,” I point out. “If you prove your loyalty.”
“I told you, I’m not loyal to them. I’m loyal to you. I’m loyal to myself. And I’m loyal to him.”
His impassioned response gives me pause. For a moment, I can’t help but wonder if he has feelings for Cross.
And for someone who’s not a Mod, he sure is good at reading my mind.
“It’s not like that,” Xavier says, rolling his eyes.
“No?” I arch a brow.
“No. We’ve known each other since lower school. I don’t want to fuck him.”
“I do,” I say, and he snickers.
“Okay, great. You go ahead and do that, and I’ll be over here making sure you don’t get yourself killed. Seriously, though. What’s our plan? Are you going to work with them?”
“Yes. I am. The Company needs to be taken down. I’ll never be safe on this Continent unless there’s new leadership. People like me need the Uprising.”
“Yeah, and what are their plans for people like me?” he counters.
“According to Adrienne and Kallister, they want everyone to live as equals in society, but with Mods in positions of leadership.”
“Bullshit. Nobody wants an equal. They want a subordinate.”
I rub my temples, feeling a headache coming on. I hate politics. I hate this shit. All I want to do is live my life without the fear that someone will try to kill me for being psychic. I honestly don’t think that’s asking for too much.
A voice suddenly echoes out of the overhead system. “Mess hall is open for dinner service.”
I glance at Xavier. “Feel like making your debut?”
I want to give Xavier a quick tour of the Dagger before dinner, but we soon make a discovery: His prints only grant him access to the Personnel floor.
Not a single elevator opens for him unless I scan it myself, and when I try to take him beyond the air lock, the tracker on his wrist flashes red, no doubt alerting the security booth.
He might not be in a cell anymore, but he’s still a prisoner. That much is clear.
Walking into the mess hall, we attract every pair of eyes. The tension is sky-high as we move through the food line. Xavier keeps his head down, but I know he’s aware of everything around him.
I touch his arm. “Relax. It’ll be fine.”
“Will it?”
“Maybe?”
He snickers.
Nobody asks us to join them. Even Mako doesn’t smile or wave at me, and I see all the progress I’ve made slipping through my fingers like grains of sand.
But I don’t regret fighting for Xavier. He left his entire life behind for me.
For Cross. The least I can do is return that favor with friendship.
We find an empty table and sit down. I see Hawkins eating alone nearby, but I don’t invite him to sit with us. I’m still traumatized by the one time I mistook him for a friend.
We eat our dinner, keeping to ourselves. The chatter in the room picks up again, though I’m sure most people are talking about us. The inciter and the Silver Block lieutenant. We’re the opening act tonight.
I can’t hide my surprise when Gray strides up to us and settles in the chair beside mine. “Hey.” His gaze shifts to Xavier. “Ford,” he says carefully.
“Fuck you.”
“Xavier.” I stifle a sigh.
Xavier glowers at me. “He killed Tyler.”
“What about you?” Gray counters. “How many of my people have you killed?”
That shuts Xavier up. Meanwhile, the whispers all around us don’t let up. I also see plenty of silver veins as some people opt to plot our deaths via telepathy.
“You should probably eat with the others,” I warn Gray, nodding toward the table where his friends are eyeing him with displeasure. “You’re not doing yourself any favors right now.”
“Nah, I think it’s probably safer for everyone if I sit here today.”
“Did the Authority ask you to?”
“No, it’s common sense.”
“Gray,” a tight voice says, and then Karra stands over him, her black hair hanging off one shoulder and her eyes shooting daggers at him. “Don’t be an idiot.”
He arches a brow at her, but he looks more amused than offended at being called an idiot. “Don’t make it a thing, KC.”
Her angry gaze flicks in my direction before refocusing on him. “What, did she incite you again?”
My shoulders snap into a straight line. I’m about to demand what the hell she means by that, but she’s already stalking off. Xavier makes no effort to hide that he’s checking out her ass.
“You banging that girl, Sutler?” he asks Gray.
“Blake,” I correct absently. My uneasy gaze finds Gray’s. “What did she mean by that?”
There’s a quick flash of…something in his eyes. Regret, maybe. “Evlynne thinks you incited the Authority to release Ford.”
Unhappiness constricts my chest. “I didn’t do that.”
“I know you didn’t. You weren’t even in the room when we voted. But…” He shrugs. “You know how rumors are.”
Tears burn my eyes, and I lower my gaze to my dinner plate, refusing to reveal how much that hurts.
“Well,” Xavier remarks. “This is fun.”
Later, Xavier snores in his bed, a soft, steady rumble, and I lie in mine, staring at the ceiling.
The snoring isn’t what keeps me up. I’m thinking about Cross, and all the times I longed for him to be here with me.
But today I saw how hated Xavier is on this base.
How much they resent his presence. I can’t even imagine what kind of reception the son of General Merrick Redden would receive.
Or how I’d be received if they found out I’m in love with him.
Even if they knew he was a Mod?
I want to banish the thought, but it lingers.
If they knew…That would go a long way in earning their trust and building some goodwill with the Uprising.
They might accuse him of being a loyalist Mod, but better that than a Company Prime.
Cross could tell them all the ways he tried to protect Mods while he served in Silver Block, all the lives he’d managed to save when his father wanted them snuffed out.