Chapter 18 #2
But that would require him to leave the city. Abandon his mother. Make a real choice. And he’s unwilling to do that.
I ignore the sensation in my throat, the growing lump, because it feels a lot like resentment, and I don’t want to resent Cross.
I love him. I can’t blame him for not wanting to side with the Uprising, and even if his Mod status could help his case, Cross doesn’t want anyone to know, and I’d never betray his confidence.
Eventually, I give up on sleep. I pull on a pair of leggings and a thick wool cardigan that I suspect belonged to Gray, because it still holds a faint hint of citrus.
The lights on the base are controlled by a timer, so only a faint white strip along the floor guides my path.
I still haven’t been out to the Ledge—I forgot all about it until now—and although it’s late, I decide to scope it out.
I follow the hallway that Gray pointed out during his tour. It takes me to a set of steel doors.
Since I don’t have full clearance, I never know which doors will part for me and which ones will remain shut. I’m in luck. This set opens. I find myself in another air lock, the doors closing behind me with a hiss as the air pressure equalizes.
Fresh air fills my nostrils. It’s winter, but according to the history books, the Continent hasn’t had a real winter in over a century. I’ve never experienced the kind of frigid chill you read about, never even seen snow other than in photographs.
I read a book once about a famous mountain in the Lost Continents, one of the tallest peaks in the old world, but when I tried searching for it again years later, the book was gone.
The Communication Board pulls that shit all the time, banning books out of nowhere for no rhyme or reason.
Titles disappear from the Company’s digital catalog all the time, especially subject matter that involves the Old Era; Cross’s father despised the Old Era.
But I swear that book existed, the one about the majestic snowy mountain and the grueling journey so many people embarked on to summit the famous peak. I would have liked to see it.
Tonight the air carries a cool bite, causing me to wrap my cardigan tighter around me. There’s no railing on the Ledge, and I’m reminded of what Gray said about Hawkins’s girlfriend tumbling to her death. Is this where she fell?
I walk along the ledge, which narrows and curves before opening onto a large natural patio. I approach the edge and peer over it to see a thirty-foot drop onto what appears to be a footpath.
I’d like to explore this mountain, these trails. Now that Xavier is free, maybe he’ll be allowed to come with me. It could give us something to do until the Uprising deems us more useful.
I slide to the ground and dangle my feet over the Ledge, gazing out at the treetops and dark sky. The sprinkling of stars reminds me of the force fields around the Command base.
As I’m admiring the view, I feel Kallister trying to link with me.
“I don’t want to startle you, but I’m coming outside.”
I hear the air lock open, then close with a suction-like whoosh. Footsteps echo around the corner before Kallister appears with a rueful smile.
“People get jumpy on the Ledge,” he says out loud. “Figured I should give you a warning. Do you mind if I join you?”
“Sure.”
Rather than sit, he stands a few feet away, hands slung in the pockets of his black trousers.
“How did you know I was out here?” I ask him.
“Security booth alert. We don’t get a lot of people opening the air lock this late.”
“Would they alert you if anyone was here, or just me?”
“Anyone.” He chuckles. “Unfortunately, you are not special, Wren. We had an incident out here once, so the booth keeps a close watch.”
His response only supports my suspicions. This must have been where Hawkins’s girlfriend died.
“Can’t sleep?” he says.
“No.”
“I know it’s been hard for you to acclimate.
We live in a world that breeds distrust, but the people here…
they’re mostly good. You’re always going to encounter people like Evlynne, or Fiona, who will fear your abilities.
But all anyone wants—even those two—is for themselves, their families, their friends, to be able to live in peace.
Once they realize you’re not a threat to that, the trust will build. ”
I twist my gaze back to the dark landscape. “I miss Jim. He was the only family I had.”
I love you as if you were my own daughter.
My heart aches at the memory of his letter. Those unexpected words he’d penned to me.
I don’t remember my father. He died when I was barely four years old. Jim Darlington is the only father I’ve ever known. I think of him as Uncle Jim, but I realize now how unfair that moniker is. He wasn’t an uncle. He was my father in every way that counted.
Kallister’s voice becomes gruff. “Julian and I were orphaned at a young age, and we didn’t have any relatives other than our parents, so after they died, we were all alone. He was my only family, too.”
“Do you have a wife? Girlfriend?” I ask curiously.
“No. Not for a long time.”
“But you were married?”
“Nearly. She left me after she discovered I was a Mod.”
My breath hitches. “Did you tell her, or did she discover it on her own?”
“She found out. I was in the Point at the time, working in Communications. We lived in separate quarters for most of our relationship, but she insisted we apply for a joint living assignment. I knew it was a bad idea. Hell, it’s a bad idea to get involved with a Prime to begin with.
But I loved her. We got approved for cohabitation, and everything was perfect for almost a year.
And then one night, when she was asleep, I used telepathy to check in with my Uprising handler. ”
“But she wasn’t asleep.”
“No. She saw my veins and that was that. She decided I was a monster and left.”
“Did she report you?”
“I didn’t give her the chance. I was compromised, so the network extracted me and I moved to the Dagger. I was twenty-five.”
“What happened to her?”
“She married someone else.” He gives a knowing smile. “And before you ask, yes, I’ve kept tabs on her, and yes, it’s probably not healthy.”
“No judgment. I would do the same. Especially if I really loved the person.”
“I loved her very much.” His voice is laced with regret.
After a short silence, I wearily get to my feet. “I should probably try to get some sleep. I’m working at the range tomorrow.”
Before I can reach the air lock, Kallister stops me, touching my arm.
“Come to my quarters in the morning. I have something you might like to see.”
I fall into a restless slumber. The sheets are a tangled mess by the time I wake up, and I don’t feel well rested in the slightest. Only more exhausted.
“Are we going to the range?” Xavier asks in a groggy voice. Bare-chested, he stretches and yawns as he sits up.
“Yes, but I need to check in with Kallister first.”
“Ah, our new master.”
I sigh.
Kallister’s quarters are in the same block as Adrienne’s. He welcomes me inside and offers me a coffee, which I gratefully accept, the hot liquid warming my throat and firing up my brain.
He gets right to it, saying, “What I’m going to show you can never leave this room.”
His quarters consist of several rooms, and curiosity sparks in my gut as he leads me into an office. It’s small, containing nothing more than a desk, a plush chair, a holoscreen, and a locked vault cabinet built into the wall.
Kallister approaches the cabinet and scans his retinas, triggering a flash of green light and the mechanical whir of a lock releasing. The metal door pops open, and as he reaches inside, I glimpse what looks like stacks of tablets. He grabs one and gestures to the desk chair.
“Have a seat.”
I sit, watching as he unlocks the tablet. I can’t see the screen yet, but when he finally walks over and hands it to me, I’m filled with shock.
It’s a digital file.
Subject: Marina Serrano
And judging by the index page, the dossier is a treasure trove of information. Excitement tickles my belly as I scan the various headings.
Biographies. Mission records. Interrogation transcripts. There are Serrano and Hess family trees. Marriage certificates. Death certificates. There’s even an entire directory for Valterra Ridge and the Sun Post bombing, including links to books and documents on the subjects.
“Most of our intel is freely shared at the Dagger,” Kallister explains. “We don’t usually keep secrets from our operatives. But some data is too sensitive for public consumption and isn’t available on the general database.”
I lift my gaze from the screen. “Who has access to this file?”
“Only the Authority. And now you. But I can only allow you to read it in here. The tablet doesn’t leave my quarters.”
My pulse speeds up. “Why are you doing this?”
“You said you don’t have any family, but…good or bad…you do.” His gaze softens. “I thought you’d like to get to know them.”