Chapter 21
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
K ate
My phone vibrates across the table as I sit reading over my new job policies for the third time, so I reach for it and see it’s Ronan. Excited to hear from him, even though it’s only been a day since our lunch together, I hurriedly answer.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“I was wondering if you’d like to do lunch again. How about Monday?” he asks, and I swear I hear a tiny hint of fear in his voice.
Hoping to let him know he doesn’t have to worry, I quickly answer, “Sure!”
Normally, I’d ask where, but I get the sense Ronan isn’t ready to leave Matthias and Ava’s house yet. That’s okay with me. I’m not exactly slumming it by going to lunch at the King estate.
“Okay. Say noon?”
My heart fluttering, I answer, “Okay. Noon sounds great.”
“I want to tell you about something Sabrina told me about. I didn’t buy into it at first, but it turned out to be true. It’s going to sound completely crazy.”
Just the mention of her name makes me uncomfortable. I can’t put my finger on why, but I don’t like her. Yes, it may be simple jealousy, but it feels like something more. Something darker. I wish I could figure it out.
“Oh?” I say, trying to sound interested when all I want to ask is, “What did she tell you, and was she wearing that black bikini at the time?”
“Yeah. I’ll save it for when we have lunch because it feels like something I want to tell you in person, but it’s cool.”
“Oh, okay. I guess I’ll see you Monday at noon,” I say, wishing I didn’t have to wait two days to see him again.
He remains silent for a few seconds before saying, “I’m happy you’re coming over again, Kate.”
And just like that, I forget about the babysitter and focus on the fact that Ronan, the only man I’ve ever loved, just said he’s happy he’s going to get to see me again. It reminds me of how he was after our first date.
“Me too. Do you want me to bring anything?”
“No. Just you is all that’s needed.”
I giggle, remembering the first time he said that to me. “I love that you haven’t changed. You said that when we were going on our first picnic and I asked you if you needed me to bring anything. I remember it like it was yesterday. You said, ‘Kate, all you need to bring is you.’ Remember?”
He doesn’t answer immediately, but after a second or two he says, “That’s right. Then we went to that park and had a real picnic complete with checkered tablecloth I laid out on the ground.”
“And ants!” I add, laughing at the memory of the two of us trying to get rid of what seemed like an entire colony of ants that decided to invade our date.
“Oh, that’s right. There were a lot of ants that day. I can still feel them crawling up my legs. That was the last time I ever tried to eat on the ground. It’s been tables and chairs ever since.”
I love hearing him so willing to talk about our shared past. We had so many wonderful times back then. I think we can have them again too. I know I just have to be patient this time.
Unsure if I should mention how talking like this makes me feel, I take a chance that he won’t be chased off by me sharing my feelings. “You know, I like talking about what we used to do. We had fun together back then.”
I hear the smile in his voice when he says, “We did. I never think about those times with you without smiling.”
“I’m glad. You deserve that. We both do.”
God, I want to say so much more, but I’m afraid. Ava told me all he’s been through, and all I want is to let him know I don’t care if he ever leaves the estate or doesn’t have a right hand. None of that means anything to me if I can have him in my life again.
I don’t say anything, though, because she also mentioned how withdrawn he’s been. If I push too hard, he might shy away from us doing anything more together, and that would break my heart.
It’s okay. I can be patient. I just hope he ends up with me and not that Sabrina girl.
“Is something wrong, Kate?” he asks, tearing me out of my thoughts.
“No. Why?”
“You just said we both deserve to smile. It sounded like you’re having a hard time, so I thought I’d ask.”
Ava warned me that Ronan hasn’t been able to focus on anyone outside himself since his accident, so his asking me that question gives me hope that the old Ronan is somewhere inside waiting for him to let him out.
“Just my nerves about school. I was looking over its policies when you called. I hope I can do a good job. That’s all.”
“Kate, you’re going to be the best teacher there. Nobody is sweeter than you are, and that’s what little kids need. They’re going to love you. I know it.”
“God, I hope so. From your lips to God’s ears, you know?”
He hums for a moment and says, “You got this, and you have people who care about you cheering you on. You’re going to be great. I’m already thinking we need one of those signs for your desk that says teacher of the year or world’s greatest teacher.”
Ronan always could make me laugh even while he was being supportive. “Nothing like putting the cart before the horse, right?”
“Maybe, but I have a good feeling about this for you. Your dream is coming true. I’m happy for you.”
Gone is the smile in his voice by the time he reaches the word dream, and every word after that sounds like it’s being pulled from his throat. I know it has nothing to do with me finally becoming a teacher. He’s happy for me. I think it just brings into focus how he was so close to achieving his dream when it all ended that night.
“Thank you, Ronan. It means so much to me that you’re in my corner. I always knew I was safe when you were by my side.”
My voice shakes as I say that, sure I’ve pushed too much. He doesn’t say anything immediately after, making me sure I’ve gone too far.
But then he says in that sexy way I always loved, “I’ll always be by your side, Kate. You don’t have to worry.”
Relief washes over me. I don’t know if this is progress or not, but it’s only been a week since I first saw him after all those years and he told me to go away, so I’m counting this as a huge step forward.
“So I’ll see you Monday for lunch?”
“I’ll be there. See you then!”
The call ends, and I’m so happy I can’t wipe the smile from my face. Maybe on Monday we’ll take the next step. Just thinking about kissing Ronan again makes every inch of me feel more alive than I’ve felt in a long time.
“What’s that face for?” my father asks as he walks into the dining room.
“I was just talking to Ronan. We’re having lunch on Monday.”
My father’s eyebrows slowly rise into his forehead as he sits down across the table from me. “Ronan again? I heard he had a tough time recently. How is he doing?”
“He’s doing great,” I answer, sort of lying.
I don’t want to tell my father the absolute truth about Ronan, or he’ll question whether or not I should continue seeing him. Fathers can be so protective, even about their daughters in their mid-twenties.
Pointing at his right arm, he asks, “Is what your mother told me right? Did he have to have his hand amputated because of a car accident?”
I nod, not wanting to talk about this. “He did, but he’s dealing with it really well. It just takes a while to get used to, I’m sure.”
My father presses his lips together, as if he wants to stop himself from saying something, but then he smiles. “It can be very hard for amputees, Kate. They have to get used to a whole new life that includes learning to do everything without the limb they lost. He wanted to be a baseball player, if I remember correctly, didn’t he?”
“He got signed to the minor league team for Washington,” I say proudly. “But you don’t have to worry, Dad. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking he’s in bad shape, but he’s okay, and he’s going to be even better from now on.”
Again, my father’s eyebrows show his surprise. Or maybe it’s disbelief.
“Because you two are back together?”
Before he can start in on some lecture about how only Ronan himself can make a better life for himself and I shouldn’t expect things to go smoothly just because I want them to, I stop him. “Because he has people who love him all around wanting the best for him.”
I stand up because I don’t want to continue this conversation, but my father continues. “Kate, I think it’s great Ronan has so many people rooting for him. Just keep in mind that he’s got to want to be okay for himself. Trust me. I know something about this. I may only be a plastic surgeon, but I see patients every day who think happiness comes from changing things on the outside. That isn’t how things work.” Tapping his chest above his heart, he adds, “Happiness comes from in here.”
My father means well, but he tends to worry too much about me. I know what I’m doing. Ronan needs me now, so I plan to be there for him. He’d do the same for me if I needed it.
“I know, Dad. Remember, you and Mom didn’t raise a fool.”
That makes him smile even as he shakes his head. “Oh, to be young and in love again. Well, I said my piece. Take from it what you will.”
“I love you, Dad. Don’t worry. I’ll be fine.”
I will be. Just as long as Ronan and I get a second chance at what we lost before.
Why we come to Charley’s is beyond me, but I swear Jessie loves this place. It’s a restaurant that wants more to be a bar, so they installed TVs everywhere throughout the building. As a result, any time any sport has something going on, every TV in the place is on and showing it while music blares.
Leaning across the table so I can hear her, my friend asks loudly, “What are you thinking of getting?”
I hate yelling what I have to say every time we come here. Maybe we should learn some sign language so we can have an actual conversation over dinner. Or I guess we could sit on our phones and text what we have to say to one another.
Instead of straining my voice, I simply shake my head. I refuse to yell in a restaurant. Even this one.
Jessie sits back and huffs her disgust. I’m not sure what she’s unhappy about, but I can’t imagine it’s this place. She says they have the best spinach dip in the world. That’s a dubious achievement, it seems, but it keeps bringing her back time after time.
I return to looking at the menu, unsure what I want to get. The decibel level in here makes thinking next to impossible. No wonder the only people who seem to come here anymore other than Jessie and me are young college guys. Clearly, they don’t care about their hearing. Come find me in forty years, dude. Then you’ll care.
As I decide between the turkey club and some hamburger with a kind of cheese I’ve never heard of, Jessie pulls my menu down so I’m looking at her. Instead of saying anything, she motions toward the door before standing up.
Okay, I guess we’re leaving. That’s fine with me.
I follow her out to the host desk where she tells them we decided not to stay, and a very busty redhead in a tank top nods and waves goodbye to us in the perkiest fashion I’ve ever seen. Thankful for the break on my ears, I’m happy when we get outside. At least the noise of the street isn’t deafening.
“Seriously, Jess. I know you love that dip they have, but ever since they chose to become some sports bar and grill thing, that place is awful. I think I have ringing in my ears, and we were only there for less than a half an hour. I can only imagine how the people who work there feel after their shift.”
My friend levels her gaze on me and shakes her head. “What are you? Eighty? Jeez, Kate. Did you see all those guys in the bar? It was like a hot guy smorgasbord in there!”
Now I see why she likes Charley’s so much. I should have guessed.
“I didn’t see them. My back was facing the bar. Anyway, I don’t care about those guys.”
Rolling her eyes, she sighs like I’m a hopeless cause she puts up with. “I forgot. Ronan. And what exactly is happening with that? He’s where on a Saturday night?”
I start walking toward her car parked down the street. “Leave him alone. There’s nothing wrong with someone who doesn’t like hanging out in bars on the weekends.”
Behind me, she says, “Yeah, but he doesn’t go anywhere, Kate. There’s a big difference between not loving the bar scene and being a shut-in.”
Furious she had the nerve to say that, I spin around and snap, “Don’t talk about him like that. So he doesn’t feel comfortable enough leaving his house yet? Big deal. It’s the twenty-first century. He can order food to be delivered from nearly every restaurant there is. He can have groceries delivered. He can buy anything he wants online and have it on his doorstep in days, if not hours. I’m not sure why anyone leaves their house at all nowadays.”
She stops walking and gives me a strange look. “Hey, I wasn’t being mean. What’s up with you? You seem ultra-sensitive about him.”
As much as I don’t want to admit it, she’s right. I am sensitive about Ronan. He’s hurting, and I’m worried I’m not going to be able to break through that pain so we can be together. Meanwhile, he seems to have a grand old time with that babysitter or nanny or whatever she is who Ava has helping her with the kids.
And on top of all of that, my family and my best friend don’t seem very enthusiastic about my being back with the only guy I’ve ever loved.
Looking away, I avoid her gaze and answer, “I know. I didn’t mean to get bitchy there. I’m just worried about him.”
Jessie steps toward me and wraps her arm around my shoulders. “I get it, but I’m more worried about you. No nastiness here, but honestly, Kate, do you think he’s even capable of having a relationship in the state he’s in? From what you’ve told me, he’s having a hard time dealing with what happened to him. Maybe now’s not the best time to expect anything from him.”
All this talk about Ronan and how he may not be the man I want him to be anymore makes me sad, and I hang my head while I try not to let it get to me. I know everyone is just looking out for my best interests, but I don’t need to be reminded of how hard it might get for us to be back together. Why can’t everyone just be supportive?
“I haven’t told you everything. He’s going to be fine. I know. We went for a long walk the last time I was at the house, and we talked about all sorts of things. He’s trying so hard, Jess. I know you and my family weren’t there, but I was, and I know he’s going to be okay.”
“Well, let’s find ourselves a restaurant that doesn’t require us to scream at the top of our lungs so every person within ten feet can hear all our business. I’m starving, and I want to know what you mean about this everything you haven’t told me, okay?”
I smile and nod my agreement, even though I’m not sure I want to tell her everything. I’m not in high school anymore, but to be honest, even back then I didn’t tell my friends every detail about my time with Ronan. From the first time we went out on a date, I wanted to keep him to myself. Yes, he was popular and rich and every girl around wanted him, but I didn’t think of him that way.
To me, he was just the guy who liked me enough to sit around and watch me study or help quiz me for tests because he knew how important my grades were. He was all those other things in public, but in private, Ronan was a thoughtful person who never made me wonder if he cared about me. I didn’t want to share that with the entire world.
I follow Jess toward a much quieter place closer to where she parked her car. The Library, an aptly named restaurant, may not have her favorite spinach dip, but at least we’ll be able to talk. Plus, they have a bar, so if she wants to scope out the next love of her life, she can do that too.
Not that she’d ever call anyone that. Jessie McIntyre has no need for love, according to her. At our age, all we should want is a good time. At least that’s what she likes to believe.
Personally, I’ve always preferred being serious about someone. I’m a one-man woman at heart, something she never fails to poke fun at because she simply can’t understand it.