Chapter 23
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
R onan
After Eleanor and I talk about what I’d like her to make for lunch on Monday, I sit alone in the kitchen wishing today was the day Kate was coming over. I should probably tell her how I feel, but every time I think about that, I dismiss it. I’m not the same person I was when we were together before. I want to be with her, but I’m just not sure she wants to be with me.
Lost in thought, I don’t see Marius walk in until he sits down across from me at the kitchen table. He’s smiling like some damn Cheshire cat, which can either mean he’s happy or he plans to bust my balls about something.
“What’s made you so happy this morning? I thought you’d be sleeping in today since I heard you come in pretty late last night.”
My comment on the time he came home surprises him. “Staying up because you’re worried about me, little brother? I can take care of myself.”
“Not worried. Just happened to hear you come in.”
Leaning back in his chair, he chuckles. “And what were you doing up at three a.m., may I ask?”
As if I have a thrilling night life.
“I don’t sleep a lot anymore, so I’m always up at that time,” I answer, likely disappointing him with my boring life.
“Not hanging out with the new nanny?” he asks in that sing-song voice he uses when he’s busting chops.
I shake my head, confused why he’d even ask that. “No. We aren’t like that. She’s usually busy with the boys.”
My brother sets the chair back on the floor and leans forward toward me. “So you do know her schedule, though?”
I hate when Marius gets like this. I sense the teasing is coming soon, and although I have no idea why he insists on bringing Sabrina into it, I’m not biting.
“No, I don’t know anything about her schedule. She lives here like I do and you do, for the time being. Other than that, I don’t know what she does. Why the hell are you interested in if I know her schedule? Are you into her?”
That would explain his questions. And the way he was acting the other day.
Maybe I misread his mood today. Maybe he’s not eager to bust my balls about something stupid. Maybe he’s just into the new nanny.
But he quickly dispels that theory when he shakes his head and answers, “She’s not my type. I get a bad vibe off that one.”
“Then why are you interested in if I know her schedule or not?”
Of course, he doesn’t answer my question. Instead, he jumps up from his chair and walks over to the refrigerator to get a drink.
“Guess who I saw when I went to The Library last night?” he asks, again using that sing-song voice.
“No idea. The nanny?”
He pokes his head out from behind the refrigerator door and laughs. “I don’t think she’s old enough to get into bars, is she?”
“Fine. One of your exes? Let me guess. She threw a glass of something in your face, and then you charmed her into realizing she really wants you, and the two of you went back to her apartment and you showed her why she should miss you.”
That gets me another laugh as he closes the refrigerator door and walks back to the table with a can of soda. Sitting down across from me again, he says, “I like the way you think, but no. Take another guess.”
Already tired of this, I say, “I don’t know. Someone you knew from high school?”
“No. Katie Abbott.”
I’m surprised by his answer and blurt out, “My Kate?”
He grins like what I call her is amusing. “The very same. She was there looking as sweet and innocent as always. Seriously, bro, you need to get going with her, or some guy is going to steal her away.”
My jealousy rises with each word until I snap, “Someone like you, I presume?”
The look he gives me makes it seem like that’s either the last thing he could ever imagine or the worst. Either way, I don’t like it.
“Don’t act like she’s not beautiful and smart and everything you could ever want, Marius. I may not have both my hands anymore, but I have both of my eyes. Kate’s the entire package.”
My brother tips the soda can back against his lips and takes a drink before saying, “First of all, she’s not my type. I like my women a bit more on the wild side. Second of all, if she’s such a catch, why are you letting her be out on a Saturday night and not with you?”
As I plan on explaining to him that I don’t feel the need to control Kate’s every move, he adds, “And third of all, that girl you’re crazy about is sure you’re banging the nanny.”
Thank God I’m not drinking the soda or I would have choked on it when he said that. “What? That’s insane. I barely know Sabrina.”
He points at my face and smirks. “You let her shave you. That’s usually the prelude to fucking, man. In fact, I don’t think there’s ever been an occasion that a woman shaved me and then I didn’t end up in bed with her. It’s no wonder Katie is sure you’re up to no good with the nanny.”
Jesus, he needs to stop calling her that. It sounds so much worse when he doesn’t use her name.
I stand up, already tired of him and this entire conversation. “I don’t know what you’re up to, Marius, but I’m not biting. I don’t know what sick pleasure you get from busting my chops like this, but fucking drop it.”
“Fine, but you’re going to lose your chance with her if you keep going like this.”
As much as I want to get away from him, I can’t stop myself from asking, “Like what? What the hell am I doing?”
He looks around the kitchen like the answer is somewhere here and I should know it already before leveling his gaze on me. “It’s what you’re not doing, Ronan. She’s clearly crazy about you. Always has been. Jesus, we all knew you two were madly in love, and that’s before either of you likely knew what love was. The way she looks at you is the same as when you were together before. It’s like the sun rises and sets with you, buddy, and meanwhile, you’re planning lunches and not doing a thing to make her see you’re crazy about her too.”
God, I hate this brother sometimes. Everything is physical with him. He has no idea two adults can be around one another and not have sex.
“Kate likes those kinds of things. That’s why I do them. I want her to see I care about her. Not everything has to be wham, bam, thank you ma’am, you know.”
But he’s not hearing anything I’m saying. “And all the while, there’s a sweet, young thing living in this same house with you who’s made it perfectly clear she’d jump you the moment she got a chance.”
“I think you have a problem, Marius. Things aren’t always about sex.”
Sure I don’t want her or Ava hearing this conversation, I look around for any sign of them. Thankfully, they don’t seem to be nearby.
“Sabrina no more wants me than she wants you.”
My brother leans back in his chair and sets his heels on the chair next to him. “Trust me, she’d take either of us. Hell, she’d probably take Matthias, if he ever gave her a whiff of opportunity. That one is nothing less than a gold digger there.”
Even though I think he’s so off the mark it’s ridiculous, I can’t help but be curious since it’s obvious he knows something or heard something I haven’t. I can’t say she’s ever obviously hit on me, but then again, I have no interest in her, so maybe I didn’t pick up on it.
Taking a step back into the kitchen, I ask, “What makes you think that?”
He shrugs, like after bringing up the juiciest piece of gossip that’s been heard in this house in ages now it’s no big deal. I swear this brother lives to just get on people’s nerves.
“It’s the way she talks about staying around forever and loving being a part of this family. Dude, she’s angling to have one of us, and my guess is she’s set her sights on you because I’m too difficult to fool.”
There it is. I knew this had something to do with him insulting me.
“And why would I be an easier target than you?” I ask, eager to hear what he really thinks of me. “Because you’re basically a fucking horndog twenty-four seven, so from where I’m standing, you look like a much easier prize to get than me. So regale me with your expertise on why she’d think I’m easier to get.”
Marius hesitates for a moment or two and then points at my right arm. “That right there, brother.”
“Fuck you!”
Before I can get away from him, he continues with his nonsense. “Riddle me this, Ronan. When in the history of men and women has a woman ever offered to shave a man’s face without wanting more? Seriously. It’s like you’re blind. I’d bet a hundred bucks she made sure to stick those pretty tits in your face while she was doing it, and all the while, you didn’t even notice, did you?”
“Seriously, fuck you, Marius. To someone with a hammer, everything is a nail. To someone like you who only thinks of women as sexual playthings, of course the only reason Sabrina would want to help me is because she wants to get into my pants. Has it occurred to you that women are more than what’s between their legs?”
For some reason I can’t begin to fathom, that offends him. “You have no idea what I think about when it comes to women, but I for damn sure know when one wants to jump my bones. Maybe if you weren’t so stuck in woe is me mode, you’d see it too.”
I don’t know why since Marius is always a fucking pain in the ass like this, but I lunge at him, swinging wildly with my left hand since that’s all I have now. I haven’t sparred with any of my brothers since my accident, so my control is next to nothing, but I land a punch or two before he starts fighting back.
He gets me good a couple times, but I shake it off because it feels so damn fantastic to take my anger out on someone other than myself. Enjoying myself far too much, I get him in a chokehold and take him down to the floor. I didn’t think I could hold my own anymore since I’m missing one of the most important parts of fighting for me, but Marius isn’t able to one-up me this time.
“Still got some fight in you, huh?” he says before I hit him hard in the jaw.
His eyes get big as the pain sets in, but I don’t get to revel in it before he comes at me with a right hook that slams into my cheekbone. This brother has always been far more self-indulgent than the others, so I’m surprised he’s still so good at landing a punch.
“What the hell is going on?” Matthias barks behind us.
I turn to look at him and let him know exactly why I’m beating the hell out of our brother, but Marius slams his fist into my right cheek, making talking next to impossible. Beneath me, he says, “Leave us alone, Matthias. We’re busy.”
“Doing what? Tearing up the kitchen? What the hell are you thinking, Marius?”
“He fucking jumped on me,” he answers before I slam my fist into his nose.
Blood squirts everywhere, and a second later, Matthias pulls me by the back of my shirt off him. “Unless you want me to get involved in this, cut it out. Now!”
Marius jumps to his feet and marches over to the counter to get some paper towels so he can stop his nose from bleeding. I stand up and brush myself off, happy with how my first fight with only one hand went.
“You didn’t do too bad, little brother,” he says with a chuckle before tipping his head back and covering his face with paper towels.
I didn’t do too bad?
“Who’s the one who’s bleeding, big brother?” I say with a laugh, taunting him.
If he wants to go for round two, I’m up for it. I haven’t felt this strong since the accident. Fuck, this feels great!
Beside me, Matthias gives me a stern look. “What’s wrong with you two? I come in here to get a drink to take back to my office, and I find you two brawling on the kitchen floor?”
What he means is what’s wrong with me since Marius has always been a fighter. I’ve rarely enjoyed fighting as much as any of my brothers but especially since I lost my hand. That’s all changed now, though, that I know I can still hold my own.
“He pissed me off,” I answer with a smile. “So I decked him.”
Matthias seems confused, like he doesn’t know how to handle this new me. Turning to look across the room at Marius who’s stopped the blood from pouring out of his nose, he shakes his head.
“And you? What the hell were you thinking?”
Marius lifts his hands and shows off the blood-soaked paper towel. “What? He came at me, so I defended myself. It wasn’t anything big, so don’t get all bunched up about it. Just two brothers working out their differences. You should know that. You and Theo used to beat the hell out of each other all the time when we were kids. You and I have gone a few rounds more than once. And you better get used to seeing this because you have two sons barely a year apart.”
My oldest brother looks at me and blows the airs out of his lungs. “Well, I guess it’s good to know you can still handle yourself?”
“Damn straight,” I say with a big smile.
“Sure can,” Marius says as he walks over to pat me on the back. “Ronan’s back. It just took him getting pissed off to happen. Next time, though, could you stay away from my nose? This thing is going to be swollen all day now.”
Now it’s my turn to be confused. “I thought you’d be pissed.”
“Nah. I meant everything I said. Your girlfriend is worried about Sabrina and you, and I think you’re going to blow it if you don’t get moving with her, but you’re my baby brother, Ronan. I couldn’t be angry with you for long.”
Now I feel even better. “Even though I only have one hand and still kicked your ass?”
He rolls his eyes at that claim. “I let you get a few of those shots in, but you handled yourself.”
Beside us, Matthias says, “Good. Wait, what is going on with Sabrina? Are we talking about the girl Ava has helping her with the boys?”
Marius starts dancing and undulating his body as he says, “Boom chicka wow wow, a wow wow. Better watch out, Matthias. Don’t want this to become a boss and nanny thing.”
My oldest brother shakes his head at him. “You watch too much porn, dude. Nobody is going to be doing anything with my kids’ nanny.” Then he looks at me and says, “You aren’t doing anything with her, are you? I thought you and Kate were together again.”
I’m starting to get a headache from my family. “No, I’m not. This one over here thinks she likes me and says that he saw Kate last night, and she all but came right out and told him she’s worried about me and Sabrina. Since there isn’t any me and Sabrina, Marius is full of shit.”
Matthias pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. “I don’t know what’s going on in my own house. I wonder if this is how Dad felt. If the two of you are done playing WWE, I’m going to get a drink and go back to work.”
Marius and I nod and then look at him before saying in unison, “We’re done.”
Walking to the refrigerator, Matthias points at a spot on the floor. “If that’s blood, you need to clean that up, Marius. Eleanor shouldn’t have to deal with that.”
He leaves, and I watch as my other brother grabs another handful of paper towels to clean the floor. Was he really serious about what he said about Sabrina being a gold digger?
“Hey, did you mean it when you said she wanted me?”
“Which one?”
I smile at that question. I can’t remember the last time I had the possibility of two women wanting me.
“Sabrina.”
Marius stands up and tosses the dirty towels in the garbage near the sink. “Yeah. Dude, you yourself said I’m a horndog. Well, listen to me then because I’m seeing something you clearly aren’t. She’s into you. The problem is I don’t think it’s because you have a sparkling personality and you’re a fun guy.”
Since he never lets up with busting my ass, I drop the bombshell about who Sabrina is related to. “You know, she’s Eden’s cousin.”
His eyes grow big at that little piece of news. “Eden? Ava’s friend?”
“Yep.”
Shaking his head, he groans. “Oh, no. Not happening. There is no way she can be part of my family. Nope.”
I laugh at his reaction to my news. “I don’t plan on hooking up with her, so unless you are, I don’t think we need to worry. I just thought you should know since you seem to be interested in Eden, or at least you were the last time I saw you two in the same room together at that party last year.”
For some reason, this entire topic seems to upset my brother. “I’m not interested in Eden. Now she’s definitely interested in me, but it isn’t happening. No way. I need to go get cleaned up. I have things to do today.”
He hurries out of the room, which strikes me as odd. “Okay. Nice talk and brawl. Let’s do that again real soon.”
While I don’t really want to fight any of my brothers anytime in the near future, it feels fantastic to know I still can. When I was a kid, I could never win against them because they were so much bigger than I was. Then when I had that growth spurt in seventh grade and gained six inches in a year, suddenly I could hold my own with every one of them.
That all changed with my accident. I thought for sure I couldn’t even defend myself against any of my brothers, much less win a fight. Now that I know I can, I feel like the old me again.
But as good as that feels, I need to figure out how to make Kate see I’m back to being the person she used to know.
And love.