20. Sparrow
It’s been three days since the kids and I were run off the road and we’re still staying with King, as he’s insisted. Jack delivered the news that my car is totaled. Call me what you want, but I cried when I heard the news. I’ve been through everything with that car: King leaving me, living in it with the kids, the nights where I thought there was no way I could go on.
I currently have the house to myself, and I’ve taken to cleaning every common room. I’m not going into River or Ace’s spaces.
They can get their own significant others.
No surprise, Loch wanted to go with River to the studio. I’m shocked that River keeps letting her, but so far it seems like he loves having her there. He even went as far as to order her custom T-shirts. The two of them together is really cute. I’m amazed at how good River is with her.
Telle went with King to High Society to do inventory. King and I decided to not think of it as our young son is going to a bar; he is learning the family business and brushing up on his math skills.
Don’t judge us.
Sitting down with another cup of coffee, I see that I missed a few messages while I was cleaning the kitchen.
Skye
How’s it going at the Bluff estate?
I’ll deny it if you say anything, but it’s actually not bad.
Skye
Ace still acting weird?
Yes. I’m starting to get worried. River is getting close to the kids, but Ace is still keeping his distance.
Skye
Ugg. He needs to get his shit together.
Ace and his moods concern me. I don’t know why me and the kid’s showing up here would send him down a spiral, but apparently it has. I try to stay out of his way, but that seems to make it worse. Deciding that we need a family dinner, I make a new group text.
Family dinner tonight, I’m cooking. What time should everyone be home?
King
Telle and I will be back by five, Bird.
King
You don’t have to cook.
I need something to do. And I need Ace to not hate me being here.
River
Me and Loch should be back about that time, too.
Ace
I’ll be there. Do you need me to pick anything up on the way home?
Wow, he responded.
Nope. I’m heading to the store in a few minutes.
It was the shock of a lifetime when King left yesterday and came back with a new truck. And not a new, used truck. A shiny, only a hundred miles, new truck. It’s beautiful, and I’m terrified to drive it. I’ve never driven anything so nice. Or big. I tried to refuse the keys, but King is a very hard person to say no to.
If there is a big man up there, please let me not crash the truck.
Deciding that the house is too quiet without all the people that live here, I gather my things to go to the store. There is a small market in Chapel Falls that should have everything I need. I haven’t missed living in suburbia, and all its amenities. It took me no time at all to get used to a slower pace. Not hearing shouting or car horns all night is an added bonus.
After white-knuckling the steering wheel for ten minutes, I park in the market’s parking lot. I didn’t turn on the stereo, drove the exact speed limit, and didn’t breathe a full breath until I got here.
I’m putting pasta sauce into the cart when the hair on the back of my neck stands up. Quickly looking around, I don’t notice anyone looking in my direction. I can only spot two other people in the store, I quickly move down the aisles so I can check out.
Surprisingly, the teenager behind the counter gets me checked out faster than expected. Speed-walking through the parking lot, I keep looking over my shoulder, still feeling like someone is watching me. There is now only one other vehicle in the parking lot, I’m assuming the cashier’s.
Get your shit together, Sparrow.
Getting back to the house without incident, I quickly get the groceries put away and switch the laundry around. I have two hours before I need to start cooking, so I grab my iPad, another cup of coffee, and get cozy on the couch. I’m almost done with some mockups of the cover I’m working on and would love to surprise my client with it early.
My phone beeping brings me out of work mode. Looking at the time, I’m floored when I see I only have twenty minutes before I need to start dinner.
King
We are leaving in a few. Do you need anything?
God, this man. I don’t know if this is truly how the adult version of King is, or if he is consistently bending over backwards for me.
No, I’m good.
King
You wouldn’t tell me if you did need something.
He isn’t wrong.
I might surprise you one day.
Setting my phone down, after saving my work, I go into the kitchen and start pulling ingredients out. I haven’t perfected too many recipes, but somehow, I have perfected chicken parmesan. I can’t remember the last time I’ve made this but shockingly, I remember all the steps.
Jumping when the back door opens, I turn and find Ace walking in. I’m shocked that he is the first person here, but now I can talk to him.
He takes a seat at the island in the kitchen, watching me cook. I watch him through my eyelashes as I continue to prep.
“Ace, have I somehow upset you by being here?” I hesitantly ask him. I’m scared of his answer, but I need to know.
“NO! Fuck, Spare. I’m sorry I’ve been an asshole to you. I don’t know what my problem is,” he rushes out.
“If you had to guess?”
“Change, I guess? I’m so happy you and the kids are here. But I’m also worried.”
“Worried about what?”
“Of being left behind. Of not finding my person. Of change.” Ace’s face reddens as he speaks the words.
Well, I can’t be pissed at him for that.
“Oh, Ace, you aren’t going to be left behind. You don’t need to apologize to me, but you need to try harder with your niece and nephew.”
“I know I do. You raised some fucking great kids, Spare.”
“Thank you,” I say as I flash him a smile.
Ace rounds the island and envelopes me in his strong arms. He resembles their mom so much, a fact I know he hates. River and King’s features more resemble their dad.
“What’s going on here?” Kings voice comes from behind us.
“I’m hugging my sister, asshole. You’ll get your turn in a minute,” Ace grumbles back.
Ace clearing his throat cuts off my laughter. “I love you, Spare. I’m sorry I’ve been in a shitty mood.” Squeezing him before I step back, I blink back the tears that are threatening to escape.
I do not cry in front of others, it’s a rule.
Walking around Ace, I give Telle a hug and step into King’s arms. As soon as I feel his strong arms around me, my body instantly relaxes. King has always had this effect on me. Whenever he's near, I can shut my brain off. When we were younger and he was near me, I didn’t have to think about how I was going to eat my next meal. Now, I know that I don’t need to look over my shoulder. King will protect us with everything he’s got.
“Hi, Bird,” he murmurs in my ear.
Standing back from him, I get lost in his penetrating stare. “Hi, King. You guys have ten minutes before dinner. Where’s River and Loch?”
No sooner than the words are out of my mouth, the door slams open, and Loch comes running in, River right after her.
“Mom! Mom, guess what?” Loch practically screams.
I don’t know if I’ve ever seen my daughter so excited, so I have no idea what caused this. Bending down so I’m eye level, I ask, “What is it, Loch?”
Loch starts jumping around, glancing at River and his cheeks are bright red. This should be good. “Uncle River says I can go work at the studio! Isn’t that so cool?”
Loch has flourished under the attention that King and River give her. I am going to pop her excitement a little.
“We can discuss it when you are older, Loch. You have school, remember?”
“No, he said on Saturdays I can go with him. I’m going to answer the phone,” Loch informs me, hands on her hip.
Does River not know about child labor laws?
“River,” King growls from next to me.
Deciding to let King handle that, I walk around the island and pull the garlic bread out of the oven. Ace helps me bring all the food to the table.
“Time to eat!” I call out as I serve Telle and Loch’s plates.
The table is quiet once everyone sits down and starts eating. At the rate King, River, and Ace are shoveling the food in their mouths, I’m starting to think all they can cook is food on a grill.
“‘s' good, Spare,” Ace mutters in between bites.
“Thank you.” Watching these grown men inhale this food like they’ve never eaten before, I decide that I’m going to start meal prepping for them, and I will be insisting on family dinner at least one night a week. Their mom never made them dinner, and I wonder if they had family meals with their dad when they moved up here.
Once everyone finishes eating, the men get the kitchen cleaned up while the kids run off to their rooms. The change in them since moving here has been drastic; now that I’m not fighting King, Loch’s anxiety seems to be at bay, and Telle seems like the weight he’s been carrying on his shoulders is gone.
“What are you thinking about over here?” King surprises me when he walks up behind me on the couch, setting his hands on my shoulders. My eyes immediately go to the bird lettering across his knuckles.
Bringing my hand up, I start tracing the tattoo. “When did you get this tattoo?” I ask softly.
“River gave me this one when I was eighteen. He did my neck when I was twenty.” That means he let River do the first one when he was fourteen. “I see you doing the math in your head, Bird.”
“Mom! Mom!” Loch comes running into the room before I can get up from the couch. She runs into the room, reddened cheeks and out of breath. “Guess what?” she shouts once she is in front of me. King walks around and sits next to me, throwing his arm around my shoulder.
“What is it, Loch?” A thousand things run through my mind. A sassy personality is really starting to shine through on my daughter, and I love it.
“I think we should get a dog! A dog is what this house is missing!” Our daughter is smiling from ear to ear, her eyes sparkling with happiness.
The kids have never asked for a pet before, so I’ve never had to tell them no on this before.
I guess there’s a first time for everything.
“Loch…sweetie, I don’t think now is a good time for a dog,” I tell her as I watch the excitement fade from her face.
“But Mom!” Loch’s hand goes to her hip as she stomps her foot.
“Lochlyn—” King squeezing my shoulder cuts me off. Looking over at him, I see humor sparkling in his eyes.
He’s going to get her a dog.
Dear God, these kids are going to get spoiled here quickly.
“What kind of dog, princess?” King asks her, humor in his voice.
Loch quickly breaks out into a smile, knowing that she has her dad, hook-line-and sinker.
“A big, fluffy one!” she yells in response.
Shaking my head, I lower it into my hands and admit defeat. I give King three days and he’s going to show up with a dog.
“We’ll discuss it, Loch. Remember, we don’t actually live here.” I’m trying to diffuse this situation but with the look King is giving me, I think I made it worse.
“Okay, Mom.” She gives King and I both a hug, and she runs off towards her room.
Once Loch is out of the room, King moves to the other side of the couch and starts scrolling his phone. Not knowing what to do, I pick up my iPad and start scrolling my social media. Every couple minutes I look up and find King staring off, lost in thought. I know I've upset him, but me and the kids moving in here was never officially discussed.
King and I get ready for bed, and his mood is still icy at best. I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true; we technically don’t live here full-time. When King doesn’t pull me towards him, I move closer, straddling him so he will look at me.
“You’re upset with me.”
King holds my stare, slowly nodding his head. I guess I’m getting the silent treatment. After a few more moments he finally says, “Why did you say that to Loch?”
I don’t need to ask what he is talking about, I knew it upset him the second the words left my mouth.
Deciding to be vulnerable, I say, “Because I’m worried. Worried to get too comfortable here. Worried that the kids will fall in love with being here…they already have. And it will be ripped away. My brain isn’t used to good, and you, Kingston Bluff, are good.”
In a maneuver that I don’t quite understand how he did it, he flips us so that I’m now lying on my back, and he is hovering over me. I’m not going to lie, that move was insanely attractive.
“I need you to listen to me. Are you listening?” I slowly nod my head. “I’m not going anywhere. Ever. I would rather bleed myself out than hurt you or our kids. You are it for me, Sparrow.”
Bringing my hand up, I cup his cheek. I see the sincerity written all over his face, and a large part of me believes every word coming out of his mouth. But the rest of me is absolutely terrified. "I'm not going anywhere either, King." He tries to hide it, but I see the disappointment wash over his face.
He drops to his side, pulling me close to him, and the covers over us. His hand automatically goes under my top and cups one of my breasts. This man has to be touching me at all times, even in sleep.
I’m not complaining.
I want to fall asleep next to this man, groping one of my body parts, for the rest of my life.