5. Chapter Five
Chapter Five
B ecca walked into the dining room of the main house the next morning, looking for Tyler. She was surprised to see Jared sitting alone at the table with a cup of coffee and a tablet in front of him.
“Good morning, Becca,” he said.
“Morning.” Going over to the buffet, she poured herself some coffee and took a seat at the table, disappointed Tyler wasn’t there. She stared down at her coffee, unsure how Jared felt about her being there.
“I’m sorry if you felt uncomfortable last night,” Jared said.
Her head snapped up to see Jared watching her. Could he tell she hadn’t slept? She’d put on more make-up than usual this morning.
“At dinner,” he added.
She released her breath. “Not your fault. My friend didn’t tell me about the adult part of the ranch, or that it was for couples only.”
“Having couples makes things easier.” He cleared his throat. “Tyler told me last night what happened and why you didn’t know it was couples only. And that you want to stay.”
Heat flooded her cheeks. She really had nothing to be embarrassed about. Staying meant leaving her inhibitions behind, but hearing it said out loud made it seem…
She wasn’t sure. Risqué maybe. “If it’ll cause a problem—”
“It won’t. You’ll be good for Tyler. I haven’t seen that sparkle in his eyes in a long time. You shook his world up, and I’m glad.” Jared rose, rounded the table, and stood next to her. “Just make him work for it,” he said softly.
She was about to ask what he meant when Tyler walked in. Her heart pounded, her nipples tightened, and damned if her pussy didn’t tingle with excitement. She watched him as he poured himself a cup of coffee, blew on it, took a sip, and then walked over to take the empty seat next to her.
Oh yes, Tyler looked good enough to eat. Jeans molded to his hips and legs, a white T-shirt stretched across his broad shoulders, and hair mussed. She barely registered Jared leaving the room.
“Any second thoughts?” His voice was husky, as if he’d just woken up.
Jared’s advice of making Tyler work for it echoed in her brain. “Straight to the point, are we?”
He’d never seemed this authoritative before.
I like it. A lot. She shifted, and their legs touched. Awareness shot through her at the innocent touch. Her body confirmed the decision she’d made in the wee hours of the morning.
“No second thoughts. I’m in for whatever you can throw at me.”
And there was the grin she remembered so well. Perfectly matched his bad-boy persona. Both in and out of bed, he’d claimed her attention.
His palm brushed over her thigh, and she swore a bolt of lightning tore through her body.
Becca picked up her mug and took the last sip of barely warm coffee, trying to control her body’s reaction to him. She needed to keep her cool here.
“We need to discuss what services you’d like to use while you’re here,” he said.
She fumbled her mug and it clattered to the table. Thank goodness it was empty; otherwise, there would’ve been coffee everywhere.
He glanced at the table, one eyebrow just the slightest bit higher than the other. “But first, I want you to eat breakfast.” He stood. “I’ll gather some materials for us to go over and meet you in your cabin in thirty minutes.”
“Aren’t you going to eat?”
“I already have.” He sauntered out of the room.
Her gaze followed him. Damn, he had a fine ass. Becca closed her eyes. It wouldn’t be easy to make Tyler work for it as Jared suggested. Her body was already on fire for him, every nerve on alert for his touch.
Shaking her head, she stood and got some breakfast from the buffet. If she was going to tangle with the bad boy, she would need her strength.
Because I plan to be a very bad girl.
***
Thirty minutes later, Becca paced the living room of her small cabin. She’d finally found an MP3 player because the silence had been driving her up a wall. That problem solved, now only her body was driving her crazy.
Alive. Her body was alive and kicking, craving the one man who set her on fire faster than matches to dry tinder.
How will I cope?
It wasn’t like they hadn’t had sex before, but that was back in college. So why did this feel so different? They were adults at an adult ranch where anything went as long as they both consented to it.
How do I really feel about that? She paused her pacing, unsure. Scared? Excited? Was she staying on the ranch for the right reasons? Yes, she decided. It was time for her to shed what her life had become in the last five years and free the real woman inside.
A sharp knock startled her out of her thoughts. Taking a deep breath to settle her racing heart, she opened the door.
Tyler filled the doorway. With a shaking breath, Becca stepped back as he stepped into the room. He turned, shut the door, and the snick of the lock echoed in the room.
Every nerve in her body flashed on high alert. When his gaze captured hers, she forgot how to breathe. His eyes turned from blue to midnight with desire as he stood there, legs apart and arms crossed over his chest.
There’s the bad boy I remember. The adventurous man who would take her places she’d never been before.
“How did you sleep last night?” he asked.
“What?” She shook her head, taking a breath before her lungs shut down. Once the oxygen reached her brain his question registered. “I didn’t. I couldn’t think about anything but us.” Now why did I have to blurt that out?
“Good. I wasn’t alone then.” She had to tilt her head back as he walked over to her. She’d forgotten how much taller he was than her. “Why don’t we go outside to the back patio and talk? We have some things to discuss before we start.”
Tyler didn’t wait for her to answer. He took her hand and gently tugged, guiding her outside to one of the high-backed patio chairs. While she settled on the padded seat, he grabbed the other chair and placed it in front of her before he sat.
The soothing sounds of birds singing calmed her racing heart until his knees touched her. He was so close. Heat filled her. How would she cope if she was already going up in flames? Now she knew why her ex left her feeling colder than a dead fish.
Becca shook her head. No thinking about her ex. This was about her and Tyler.
“You’re nervous.”
Damn . The man could already read her. She bit her lower lip before nodding.
He studied her. “Why?”
She swallowed. “I’ve never done anything like this before.”
“Becca.” He took her hands in his, thumbs brushing the backs of her knuckles in a soothing motion.
Or would have been soothing if her nerves weren’t jumping under her skin.
“We’re only going to talk. We haven’t seen each other in a long time, and we need to get re-acquainted. We also need to discuss what you want to do here at the ranch.”
“You’re not going to tell me?”
“I’ll guide you, yes. It’s your decision on what you do or don’t do.”
Her teeth worried her bottom lip. This is what I wanted, right?
Maybe? She also wanted a man who would give her sensual pleasure. This—the control being hers— wasn’t what she expected at all. “I think I’m a little confused.”
“I can imagine. Let’s get some of the basics out of the way. I’m healthy and STI-free. I can provide you with my latest test results, if you want.”
Oh, Lord, I didn’t even think about that. “I recently tested negative too.” She’d had her annual physical a few weeks back, and since she hadn’t had sex in over two years, she wasn’t worried.
“Are you on the pill?”
Becca shifted in her seat. She better get used to frank discussions. “I am.”
“Good.” He squeezed her hands. “I’ll use a condom until you feel comfortable.”
Her breath caught. In college, they’d always used a condom. But the image of him being bare as they made love made her pussy pulse.
“I know what kind of sex you used to enjoy, but what do you like now?”
“Huh?” She tilted her head to the side, staring at him. “I don’t know what you mean?”
His chuckle floated in the air between them. “Did you read the activities book about the ranch? What do you want to try?”
“Ahh.” She squirmed. How could she talk about this?
How could she not?
“We’re consenting adults,” he continued. “Nothing is taboo here. Anything you want. If it’s legal, I’ll do my best to provide, or find someone who will.”
“Someone who will…” Her voice trailed off.
“Only if you want.”
Becca swallowed. The ball was back in her court. She wanted Tyler. Okay, that was pretty obvious, but why was this discussion so difficult? She never had trouble talking sex with Angie.
Angie wasn’t Tyler, though. He was a living, breathing, sex-on-two legs, fully-grown male. Her gaze slid over his body. She knew what he was packing in his jeans.
“Let it go, Becca.”
“What?”
“Your embarrassment, inhibitions, whatever is stopping you from talking to me. We were lovers. No judgment here.”
“I don’t know what’s holding me back. I don’t know what the hell I want.”
He grinned, and while she wanted to be annoyed with him, she knew her confusion wasn’t his fault.
“I see.” He released her hands, and she missed his warmth. Pushing the chair back, he rubbed the back of his neck. “Do you trust me?”
“Yes.” The admission surprised her.
“That was a quick answer. I’ve changed from the guy you knew in college.”
They hadn’t seen each other in years, but in the past, he’d been a gentle, generous lover. Her trust in him was still there; otherwise, she wouldn’t have agreed to be his partner.
“I’ve changed too.” She’d buried the wild and carefree girl she’d been when she became a responsible woman. That wasn’t a bad thing, but she was tired of being responsible.
“I can see that. Bet you’ve been suppressing your sexuality.”
His insight startled her. “What makes you say that?”
“Down by the stables, you were tense. You think I can’t remember the signs? You couldn’t relax at dinner. My Becca was more outgoing and talked with people all the time.”
Becca nodded. He wasn’t wrong.
“You never thought twice about touching someone in support, be it a pat on the back or a quick hug. The woman in front of me seems closed down, suppressing the vibrant side of herself.”
While she wanted to deny it, she couldn’t. Yet another reason to have this carefree week and let herself go. Her new job would be as stressful as her last one, but it was her dream job. She’d need all her wits about her for that, so why not relax while she could.
“So, what are you going to do about it?” The words slipped from her before she could censor them.
“Free her,” he whispered. “Everything we do will be with consent. If there is something you don’t want to do, you’ll have a safe word. You say that, and everything stops.”
She frowned. “Does that mean I have to leave? If I use my safe word?”
He shook his head. “It means we stop and discuss why you used it. It’s perfectly fine to safeword if you feel unsafe or unsure of what we’re doing. We will discuss it and then decide to try again or skip it.”
She liked that. “All right. I consent to whatever you feel is best.” It was a leap of faith, but one she needed to make.
“Tomorrow, you will attend the lecture called Revitalizing Your Sex Life with Communication .”
“Somehow, I don’t think my sex life needs revitalizing. It’s alive and kicking right now.” She punctuated her words with laughter. Oh, yes, her body was reacting in ways it hadn’t in years.
He grinned. “There’s more to the lecture than you know. It will help you open up, to communicate with your partner. I want you to be honest with me no matter what.”
Maybe Tyler was right. Communication hadn’t been forefront in her past relationships.
“Tell me what you want to try.” When she didn’t speak, he trailed his fingers over her cheek, leaving a path of heat. “No fear, no embarrassment.”
Becca took a breath and blew it out. Why is this so hard? Glancing over his shoulder, her gaze focused on one of the privacy bushes. Maybe if she didn’t look at him, she’d be able to tell him what she wanted.
“Ummmm…toys.”
“What else?”
Tension crept into her body. “Bondage.”
“There’s a wide spectrum with bondage from light to hardcore.”
“Light.”
“Got it. Next?”
She closed her eyes. “Anal.” Everything inside her froze as she spoke the word. She didn’t want to see his reaction, afraid he’d think her abnormal, as past lovers had.
His hand closed over hers and he squeezed. “Look at me, please.”
She finally opened her eyes. There was no shock or disgust in his features, only acceptance and a flare of excitement.
“No problem there.” He tilted his head just the slightest bit. “But there’s more, isn’t there?”
Her gaze left his face as she stood and pulled her hand away, then moved to the edge of the patio. She paced back to Tyler, turned without speaking, and paced to the edge again. Would Tyler understand her fantasy of adding another lover to the mix? Just once, she wanted to experience two men loving her. She wasn’t sure she could voice the deep dark desire within her.
Her fingers curled into her palms as she paced the small enclosure. Tyler’s scent of pine and masculinity made it hard to think. His hands on her shoulders stopped her pacing, and she turned and glanced up at him.
“I won’t judge you.”
“You wouldn’t be a co-owner here if you judged people based on their sexual preferences.”
“Tell me.” His voice had dropped a notch.
Her muscles tightened, and her belly clenched until she thought she was going to scream, but she couldn’t voice her desire. She shook her head.
“Do you want to experiment with another woman?”
She shook her head.
“Another man?”
She felt herself flinch in his grasp. He was guessing, but it was more than experimenting with another man.
“Is that it?” His head lowered. “Do you want two men pleasuring you? To worship your body, to take you to heights you’ve only dreamed about?”
She sagged in his hold. “Yes.”
“My Becca.” His lips brushed her cheek. “I think we’ll have a marvelous time together.”
“What if…” She bit her lower lip.
“What if what?”
Taking a deep breath, she forced the words out. “What if I can’t do something you expect?” There, she said it. Yes, they’d been lovers, but they’d both changed. Plus, for the past eight years, she hadn’t lived up to anyone’s expectations. Hell, not even her own.
“My expectations?” She heard disbelief in his tone. The next thing she knew, he gently caught her chin and tipped her face toward his. “I do not expect anything from you. This is all for you, Becca. This is a safe place for you to explore your sexuality and sensuality. My expectations have no place here.”
The sincerity in his voice and his expression alleviated her concern. “But what if I can’t do something I’ve said I want to try?”
“Not an issue. Communication at all times between us. If we try something and you don’t like it, we will stop.”
“You won’t force me?”
“Consent is important. I might push you out of your comfort zone, but I would never force you.” He lowered his forehead until it touched hers. “Remember we will have a safe word, and the second you use it, I will stop. This is about pleasure, not pain. Your pleasure, Becca, not mine.”
She met his gaze head on, and hooked her fingers in his belt loops. “Then let’s do it.” It was time to let go of everything. She had this one week. Becca felt the stress and tension leave her body.
“Why don’t we go for a horseback ride?”
She smiled. “I’d like that.”
This week was going to be so much fun.