Chapter 6 #3
Phoenix snickers, and Hadley's expression turns mulish. She spins Ulayna forcefully and yanks down the zipper of her dress.
“Ah! What are you doing?” Ulayna tries to swat her hands away, but Hadley pushes her back into the dressing room.
“Get dressed,” she orders. “We’re taking this shopping trip on the road. That dress is fabulous on you, and you’re absolutely getting it. But you’re going to be overdressed because our next stop is Silk & Secrets.”
—
That night, Ulayna stares up at the darkening ceiling of her bedroom.
Shopping at Silk & Secrets with Phoenix and Hadley had been an eye-opening experience.
Thankfully, it hadn’t been awkward or embarrassing.
Educational, maybe, but not embarrassing.
And it had also been more fun than she ever thought possible.
She’s never really had girlfriends before. Phoenix is fierce, skilled, and doesn’t take shit from anyone. Ulayna can admit to herself that she admires the woman. Hadley seems like an amazing woman, too. With her vivacious attitude and warm heart, you can’t help but like her.
She’s been getting to know Phoenix more and more through her training. But today felt different. It felt like bonding. It felt like spending time with someone because you want to, not because you have to. It felt like friendship.
She glances at the shopping bags piled on the foot of the bed. Most of them are from Hadley’s store, but a couple of them are from Silk & Secrets. Despite her fears, she’d been curious and had let Phoenix and Hadley talk her into buying a few items.
At first, she’d been concerned that Alexi would see the charge on his credit card. But Phoenix had brushed aside her concerns. “Let him wonder,” she’d said with a wink.
That had sent a rush of heat across her skin that wasn’t all from embarrassment. The idea of Alexi knowing she’d purchased something from a lingerie and sex toy boutique had made her stomach flutter in a not-unpleasant way.
She bites her lip. Furtively, she looks around the room, then back at the packages from Silk & Secrets.
She can’t stop thinking about it. Ever since their conversation at Hadley’s boutique, Ulayna’s body has felt flushed, her pulse has been high, and there’s been an aching need between her legs.
For the first time in her life, she’s… aroused.
Her mind flashes to the contents of the shopping bags.
She shouldn’t. She really, really shouldn’t. Shade could try to break in at any moment.
But curiosity is what killed the cat, as they say, and she just has to know what all the fuss is about.
She’s curious to know if she can actually enjoy sex, even if it’s just with herself.
And she’s determined to reclaim this part of herself.
Her own pleasure is just one more thing the Program took from her.
She wants that back, and there’s no time like the present.
Maybe, just maybe, she can explore a little—just to see if she likes it.
The ache between her legs intensifies, and she’s almost startled by her body’s desire.
Decisively, she hops out of bed to triple-check the security measures she has in place so that Shade can’t interrupt her. Once she’s done, she walks slowly back to the bed. She rifles through the shopping bags until she finds the one she’s looking for.
She upends the bag and dumps its contents onto the bed. She probably purchased more than she needed to, but Hadley insisted there’s no such thing when it comes to enjoying your own body.
She looks down at the items, considering her options.
The owner of the store had told her that very few women can orgasm from internal stimulation alone and that she should focus on clitoral stimulation at first. At that, Hadley had added a small clitoral vibrator that sticks on the end of a finger to her shopping bag.
Looking at it now, it’s about two inches long and covered in soft silicone. It looks innocuous. Safe.
But that’s not what Ulayna wants. If she’s going to do this, if she’s going to explore her own body and learn what gives her pleasure, she doesn’t want to do it with something safe.
She moves several other items aside and reaches for the elegant-looking black box. She opens it and pulls out the much larger vibrator. It's roughly the size of her palm and banana-shaped with a small mouth at one end.
At the store, Hadley had raved that The Womanizer is hands down the best sex toy.
Laughing at Hadley’s enthusiasm, the store owner had explained that rather than a traditional vibration, the toy uses gentle air pressure to mimic the feeling of suction.
At their explanation that it feels much more lifelike—more like the sensation of a man sucking on your clit—Ulayna had blushed crimson.
Now, she feels that same heat washing through her. She can’t get that idea out of her head. The idea of a man going down on her to give her pleasure sounds outlandish. But when she imagines that man as Alexi, the ache between her thighs intensifies.
Taking the toy with her, she crawls up onto the bed and under the covers. She shouldn’t be imagining Alexi, but she can’t seem to help it.
She clicks the toy onto the lowest setting and presses it against her core. Imagining the device as Alexi’s mouth, she wonders what his beard would feel like against her skin. Would it be scratchy or soft? Would she like it?
Moving the toy back and forth slightly, she quickly discovers where she likes it best. Pressure builds inside her, and her heart rate kicks up. Pulsing need flushes through her like waves of heat. A soft moan escapes her, and she slaps a hand over her mouth, surprised.
It’s only been a few seconds, and she can’t believe how good it feels. No wonder the other ladies wanted her to experience this.
Enjoying herself and letting her worries fade away, Ulayna presses the button to increase the intensity. A soft humming noise fills the air.
Suddenly, Ulayna’s body bows off the bed. That pressure is building, building, building inside her.
She feels like she’s on the precipice of a cliff. Oh god!
She presses the device harder against her center and holds it right there.
Of their own volition, her hips start to move in tiny thrusts. Her head thrashes back and forth on the pillow. What is happening?
Like a thunderstorm, her release breaks. Wave after wave of intense pleasure washes over her. Lightning courses through her system, and her legs clamp shut around the device and her hand.
She turns her head to the pillow to smother her shocked cry.
After a few seconds, it’s too much. The pleasure is too intense.
She abruptly pulls the toy away from her flushed skin and drops it on the bed.
“Holy fuck,” she says to the empty room around her, her body still spasming with aftershocks of her first orgasm.
She pants, trying to catch her breath. “Seriously… holy fuck,” she says again, not believing what just happened.
That’s what an orgasm feels like? It’s beyond anything she’s ever experienced. It didn’t just feel good. It felt… she can’t even think of a word to describe how good it felt.
And now, in the afterglow of her pleasure, she feels light and heavy at the same time. Totally relaxed, but also keyed up. She feels languid, satiated. Like the cat that got the cream.
For the first time, she feels like some unknown need deep inside her has finally been satisfied.
She laughs out loud, feeling glorious.
After a few minutes, when her body finally starts to recover, she floats back to reality.
She gives the door to her balcony a side-eye glare. Ever pragmatic, she resolves to find a way to keep Shade from breaking into her room ever again. It’s time she finds a solution so she no longer has to worry about privacy.
She grins and falls asleep with the echoes of pleasure still pulsing through her.
—
The following morning, Ulayna puts the finishing touches on a platter of syrniki, a traditional Russian pancake made with farmer’s cheese. They’re light and fluffy, with just the right amount of sweetness. Cook recently showed her how to make them, and now she’s hooked.
She carries the platter of hotcakes out to the dining room and places it in the middle of the table, next to the warm berry compote and cream. She also made a big pile of scrambled eggs and link sausages.
“This looks amazing,” Ruger says.
He and the rest of Alexi’s team are seated around the table. They were already meeting to discuss the progress of the training program. She figured they might as well have breakfast while they were at it and had offered to cook.
Alexi frowns. “Ptichka, what have I told you? You didn’t need to cook for my team. This is what we have a cook for,” he scolds her.
Ulayna smiles brightly at him, unfazed by his grumpy reaction to the breakfast she cooked. She gets that he doesn’t want her to feel like the help. She takes a seat at the table between him and Shade. “I wouldn’t do it unless I wanted to,” she reassures him.
Alexi stabs a pancake with his fork and places it on Ulayna’s plate. Like a signal to the rest of the team, they all dive in. Plates of food are passed back and forth, people reach over each other, and the volume in the room rises as everyone starts talking at once.
Ulayna laughs when she sees Ruger steal a sausage link from Hawk’s plate before passing it down the table to him. Bill holds the berry sauce out of Phoenix’s reach, and the woman curses at him. Next to her, Shade is silent, but the ghost of a smile flashes across his face at his team’s antics.
She loves her private dinners with Alexi, but she loves this too. It feels like what she imagines having siblings might have felt like.
Her early years in the orphanage were harsh. There never seemed to be enough food to go around. She and the other children were often pitted against each other in a constant fight for the limited resources. It didn’t exactly contribute to a carefree, enjoyable atmosphere.