17. Bronco
17
brONCO
I feel like I’m walking on cloud nine. I’ve been on my own personal high all day.
I’m usually a happy-go-lucky kinda guy, taking everything in my stride, but today I feel as light as a feather. I know Amber has everything to do with that, and I’m not sorry about it.
Even though I showered this morning, I can still smell her on my skin. That might have something to do with the vanilla body wash I used this morning with a hint of honey and almond. Not my usual scent, but it casts my mind back to our hot night in Amber’s bed. Man, she’s something else. I never knew sex could be even more intense when you actually like the person. Really like them. Everything felt different, and even though we made a pact we wouldn’t get emotionally involved, I know I’m lying to myself.
I get jealous when I think about her with another guy, or if a dude even dares to check her out; that never used to happen until recently. I was elated when fuckface Ben had to cancel, and I got to take his place, even though we’ve been to watch the Pelican’s heaps of times. Something is happening to me. Last night felt different; I’ve never been nervous before, but that’s exactly how I felt. Like the first date jitters.
Fuck.
Maybe this situation can actually work? We’re perfect for each other — even if Amber may not see it that way yet. What am I even saying? Am I really falling in love with my best friend?
I guess that’s hard to know because I’ve never been in love before, and I was one of the idiots who would ridicule the guys at the clubhouse when they got snagged. I was renowned for declaring that I was single and wanted to mingle. I constantly ribbed my club brothers about their balls being in a sling, and now look at me. My how the mighty has fallen. It sneaks up on you, that’s all I know.
When I check my phone on my break, there’s a message from Crystal.
Crystal
Saw you on the kiss-cam last night. Uh, WTF? Why didn’t you tell me you finally grew some balls?
I smirk at the text. It was Crystal who encouraged me to go for it and stop being a pussy. Last night I was so caught up in all things Amber, I forgot that someone I know might be watching the game and see the kiss-cam.
Me
I thought I’d put it up on the big screen to show the entire nation instead
Crystal
From where I was sitting, it looked like she was the one who kissed you
Me
Fine. I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable, sue me. I went in for the best friend side cheek, and she turned the tables
Crystal
And I remember you saying this wasn’t a date
Me
It wasn’t until the kiss-cam thing, then it kinda turned into something else
Crystal
Did you two have sex?
Me
I’m not dignifying that with an answer
Crystal
OMG you horndog, you did!
Me
Look, it just happened
Crystal
That’s what me and Ryder said, then I ended up pregnant with Ade
Me
I’m not telling you shit about what happened bc I know about that girls group chat
Crystal
I know about the Grumpy boys chat, too
Me
It’s the WTF chat, if you really must know
Crystal
I’ll bet all you talk about is exhaust pipes and who can belch the loudest
Me
Wouldn’t you like to know?
Crystal
I want dirt, give me it. I am your sounding board after all
Me
Don’t go sayin’ shit
Crystal
Pinkie promise, my lips are sealed
Me
I mean it
Crystal
I promise! Now spill, asshat!
Me
You’re wrong btw - it’s Amber who’s afraid of commitment
Crystal
So you show her all the ways you can be reliable, it’s not that hard
Me
I’m tryin’
Crystal
So you’re dating?
Me
Yeah, I mean, sorta…
I can’t tell her the whole truth, because even to my ears it sounds pretty lame.
Crystal
What does that mean?
Me
Like I said before – she doesn’t want commitment, and I’m a jealous dick, so we’re perfectly suited
Crystal
Jesus. You’re taking Nevada’s advice, aren’t you? Fuck buddies won’t work, mark my words, bud
Me
It’s not about the sex, she’s fucking amazing, Crys, I can’t even describe it
Crystal
Aww, Bronco’s in lovvvvve
Me
I’m not in love. I’m not even sure if I’m capable of love, but this is a different feeling
Crystal
Does your heart quicken whenever she walks into a room?
Me
Yeah…
Crystal
Do you think about her all day every day? And when you’re away from her, you’re counting down the minutes when you’ll see her again?
Me
Maybe
Crystal
When she’s in your arms, you feel a contentment that you can’t describe?
Me
Okay, fuck off now
Crystal
LOL you’re in love
Me
FFS, don’t tell her that, she’ll run a mile
Crystal
I’m insulted. I pinkie promised, didn’t I?
I run a hand through my hair, my heart thrumming in my chest at her suggestion. I’ve felt differently about Amber for a while now, if I’m being honest with myself. While a feral, possessive part of me wants to take her and make her mine, the best friend inside me is saying she’s not ready for that.
Me
I don’t know what it is, but let me figure it out without you interfering, got me?
Crystal
Moi? Interfere? I’m insulted. I’m also happy to be your wingman anytime. Being married and all, I know how this relationship stuff works
Me
I don’t need a wingman
Crystal
But I’ve always wanted to say that, I think you need unbiased moral support. After all, if you listen to anything Nevada says, god only knows what’ll happen
Me
He’s changed his ways, so leopards can change their spots
Crystal
That’s true. It can be done when you meet the right one
Me
What if she doesn’t feel the same way?
Crystal
That’s why you show her what kind of man you are
Me
Doesn’t she already know that?
Crystal
She knows you as a best friend, not a potential life partner or anything more
I scratch my chin. Maybe Crystal has a point. Amber has only known me as a best friend, and I like to think I’ve been a good one. But she doesn’t know me as a boyfriend, or anything even close. Maybe I do have to step up to the plate and show her what I’m capable of.
Even if she thinks we are only friends who fuck.
Jesus, I’m turning into a sap already.
Me
Your words of wisdom are once again scaring the fucking shit out of me
Crystal
Happy to help, gtg. Remember, girls like pretty things
Me
What does that even mean?
But Crystal doesn’t answer, and my next client is here.
All through the appointment, my mind wanders and I realize I don’t know when I’m going to see Amber again. We didn’t exactly make plans, and Olive is back from Harlem and Indigo’s, so that’ll probably mean I won’t be having sex in Amber’s bed again anytime soon.
Last night was fucking amazing. The best night of my life. I didn’t expect it to be anything less, but her warmth… that’s the thing I love the most. She’s warm, cozy, a princess, my princess.
I also haven’t heard from her since this morning, and nothing since her appointment with Star. I shoot her a quick text after my client is finished up, asking how things went. It’s around school pick up, so I don’t expect her to reply. About five minutes later, my phone beeps with a message.
AJ
Star seemed confident. I told her everything, and she said she’d be in touch soon. I can only wait it out and hope for the best
Me
That’s great. The sooner we find Erica, the sooner we can get to the bottom of it
AJ
I’m scared, Bronc. This is so out of character for her. What if she’s in some serious trouble, or worse?
Me
You can’t think like that. Sit tight and once Star finds something, we can go from there
The gray bubble fades in and out, and I wait for her next message.
AJ
Olive and I are having pizza for dinner, would you like to join us?
My heart quickens at the idea of spending more time with her so soon.
Me
Sure, I’d like that
AJ
Come over around 6, it’s a school night so Olive goes to bed at 8
Me
Okay, did you want me to pick up the pizzas on my way?
AJ
You don’t have to do that
Me
I don’t mind, just send me what you’d like
AJ
That’s sweet of you
Me
Sweet’s my middle name, Princess
AJ
Olive asked if you can bring Titan. I know he’s not great with people he doesn’t know, but he’s good with kids. She’d love to meet him
Me
I can bring him, but she’ll probably take one look at him and scream
AJ
He just looks scary, he’s really not that bad once you get to know him, and I showed her a photo
Me
Did you just describe me?
AJ
Ha ha
Me
Wait, since when did you have photos of my dog?
AJ
I always take photos of your dog. I especially like the ones where he’s lying on his back asleep with his paws dangling in the air
Me
So much for killer instinct, he’s supposed to be a guard dog
AJ
Not in this lifetime
Me
Cleaning up, I’ll CU tonight
AJ
Copy that
My pulse isn’t just racing, it’s beating to its own drum. I didn’t expect that I’d be seeing her again so soon, or if she’d even want to after this morning’s conversation. It may have ended on a positive note, but I know how she likes to overthink things.
Maybe sex doesn’t complicate things at all. Maybe it just makes everything better.
I take a quick shower when I get home, despite dreading washing away Amber’s scent from my body, then feed Titan, telling him he’s got to be on his best behavior. He really is great with kids, and hopefully if Olive doesn’t freak out, he won’t get his feelings hurt. Kids often take one look at him and burst into tears. He wags his tail and tries to make friends, then lays down with his face on his giant paws. It’s as if he’s trying to figure out what he did wrong. It isn’t his fault, and I’ve come to adore his grumpy face.
I wear my usual attire: jeans, henley, boots and my cut, nothing fancy. By the time Titan and I are in my truck heading to the pizza place, I’m whistling a tune.
Glancing sideways, Titan’s staring at me.
“What?”
He’s sitting upright in the passenger seat, giving me a noticeable side-eye. He’s so judgy.
“You like Amber,” I tell him. “And I’m sure you’ll dig Olive, she’s not annoying like some kids can be. I’m sure she won’t cry or hide behind her aunt.”
He yawns loudly, then lays down, his head on his paws.
“Keepin’ you up, big fella?”
He yawns again as if he really does understand what I’m saying.
“Maybe you should have a nap before we get there, might put you in a better mood.”
I stop to grab the pizzas and a tub of ice cream from the parlor next door, telling Titan none of this is for him when I climb back in my truck. Of course, he thinks everything that smells good is for him.
Rolling up at Amber’s place just after six, I put Titan on his leash and tell him again about being a good boy. “We wanna make a good impression, and you lickin’ Olive to death won’t be cool.” He looks up at me and I pet him on the head. “Who’s a good boy?”
He yawns again, but it sounds like a howl. He clearly had a hard day sleeping on his giant bean bag the last ten hours since I left for work this morning.
I ring the bell, waiting out front as I hear footsteps moving toward the door, then Amber appears. “Hey!”
“Hey.”
Then she sees Titan and bends down to pet him. “Titan! Oh, you look so handsome! Yes you do, yes you do!”
Of course, my dog laps it up and I feel a little jealous she’s not scruffing me under the chin and calling me handsome.
“How was your day?” I ask as she stands again, taking the pizza box and ice cream out of my hands.
“Good, I haven’t heard from Star yet, but I spent the entire afternoon doing inventory for the clubhouse and the Whiskey Shack to take my mind off things.”
I give her a sympathetic smile. “Try not to worry.”
“I should also say something to Cash if Rock and Jett may be involved.”
“That might be a good idea, just so he’s aware. I can go with you if you like, best to be above board.
“Thanks, Bronc.” She squeezes my forearm and I feel it all the way down to my toes. “I really thought you were gonna say you already told him.”
I hold a hand over my heart. “Said I wouldn’t, and it wasn’t my call. Not club business in the sense we’re involved or anyone’s in danger, so it wasn’t somethin’ he needed to know, but things are usually best out in the open.”
“I agree.”
I glance over Amber’s shoulder to find Olive looking over at us curiously. “Hey, Olive,” I call out. “I brought my buddy here to meet you, he wanted to say hi.”
Amber smiles as she moves aside to let us in. Holding Titan’s leash, I walk towards her up the hall as her eyes dip to my dog. Her eyebrows shoot up a little, but then her smile spreads across her face.
“Hi, Bronco, is this Titan?”
“Yep, in all his glory.”
Titan sniffs her feet, then I tell him to sit — which he does — and waits for my next command.
“He’s really big.”
“He is, but he’s a big softie, too. He loves belly rubs, stealing food off my plate, and takin’ up all the room on the couch.”
She giggles again. “Can I pet him?”
“Of course.”
She reaches toward him tentatively and Titan sniffs her hand.
“Good boy,” I tell him.
He tilts his head, his tongue shooting out to lick her hand and she squeals. “He’s really cool!”
“I think he likes you.”
“Really?”
Just as I nod, Titan rubs his head against her hand, encouraging her for more pets. “I think you made a friend for life.”
He laps it up like a big ol’ golden retriever, wagging his tail with excitement. He’s putty in her hands.
“Way to go, bud,” Amber laughs. “He is just the sweetest.”
I turn to look at her. “He’s a fierce, combative guard dog with a nose for trouble like you wouldn’t believe.” Just as I say it, he flops over, landing on his side and then rolls onto his back, begging for tummy rubs.
I slap a hand over my forehead as Amber and Olive both laugh.
“You were saying?” Amber nudges me in the ribs.
“Okay, he didn’t really get that whole combative thing, unless it’s someone he really doesn’t like,” I argue.
They laugh again.
“Let’s eat. Olive, would you like to get the plates out and set them on the table?”
I’ve literally never had pizza on a plate before, but if this is what they do at mealtimes, who am I to argue?
“Okay, Aunty Amber, can Titan come, too?”
“Of course he can, but no feeding him,” Amber warns.
“Even if he gives you those cute, sad, puppy dog eyes,” I join in.
“Okay, I won’t,” she promises, skipping off to do as she’s told.
I glance at Amber. “How’s she doin’?”
She shrugs. “She misses her mom. I don’t know how long I can keep lying. I know it’s to protect her, but she needs her mom.” Tears start to well in her eyes. “She’s asking questions, Bronc, and I don’t know how to answer them.”
I’m crossing the floor in a few paces. Folding her into my arms, I kiss the top of her head. “It’s gonna be okay. From what you’ve told me, Erica is a smart woman. I know this is hard, but you gettin’ worked up won’t help nothin’, it’ll only make you sad and stressed. Gotta be strong for her.”
“I’m trying,” she whispers. I can hear the tears in her tone.
“I know you are, and keeping things as normal as possible for Olive is the right thing to do.”
“I was hoping it would buy me some time.”
“It will. It’s best to shield her from the truth, she’s just a kid.”
She nods. “I know that, I just have this awful feeling in my bones.”
I pull back and she looks up at me. “Like I said, try not to worry. I know that’s easy to say, but whatever happens, we will find her.”
I don’t expect what happens next… Amber reaches up onto her tippy toes and kisses me. It’s chaste, but full of that sweetness that I adore about her. “Thanks, Bronc. Your pep talks always perk me up.”
I place my hands on her hips and rub my nose against hers. “Anytime, bestie.”
“I felt you today,” she whispers.
My eyebrows raise. “Where?”
“You know where.”
My sly smile slowly turns into a full-fledged grin. “See, you can take nine inches. I don’t know what you were worried about.”
Her eyes widen as Olive comes running back into the kitchen, my dog on her tail.
We spring apart and I turn to Olive. “I got a tub of double chocolate chip ice cream for dessert from this amazing place next to the pizza shop,” I tell Olive. “You’re gonna love it. That’s if you like chocolate?”
She grins. “I love chocolate!”
“Great.” I clap my hands together. “I don’t know about you two, but I’m starving.”
We spend the next hour at the table with Olive telling us about her day at school, and how much fun she had at the sleepover this weekend. I know how she feels; I had an amazing sleepover myself, but I can’t exactly tell her that.
She mentions her mom a few times. Once when Amber serves the ice cream, and another when she asks if her mom would let her get a dog when she comes back. I can see the angst in Amber’s eyes and it kills me. I want to take her in my arms and tell her that it’s all gonna be okay, even when I really don’t know if it is. I don’t want to give her false hope, but I also need to do some investigating myself. When I leave here tonight, I’m going to stop by the clubhouse and see if Rock or Jett have anything. What would be helpful is the name of this cult, and the asshole that Amber fled from. At least I’ll be able to see if he’s still in Illinois, running his so-called church. I know nothing good can come of me poking my nose in, but I need to keep on top of things. That feeling that Amber had earlier, about things not being right? I hate to say it too, but I feel exactly the same way.