Chapter Twenty-Eight
Jamie slid an arm around Alice and took her with him back to the bed. His ribs would protest, and his body would ache like the devil tomorrow, but right now he didn’t care. He turned her when they reached it and kissed her softly, swallowing the quiet sigh.
“Can we—will this hurt you, Jamie? Perhaps—”
“You will be gentle with me, I’m sure,” he replied, knowing she spoke from her own fear and worry for him. “If at any time you wish to stop, I will do so, Alice.
“I know you are a good man.”
This time it was he who snorted softly. “Not many would agree with you.”
“They are fools,” she whispered.
“I want to see you, Alice.”
She nodded, and his hands went to the hem of her nightdress. Alice raised her arms, allowing him to pull the garment up and off her body. Jamie then felt the breath leave his lungs as he stepped back to look at her. She didn’t shy away or hide herself, instead keeping her eyes on him.
She was a goddess. Silken pale skin, perfect breasts his fingers ached to cup, and nipples that he would taste. Jamie wanted to devour her. Run his hands and mouth down the planes of her stomach to the curls below, and further. Nothing would stop him now.
“Can I see you also?” The words weren’t weak; she spoke with strength and a need that matched his own.
Jamie bent to push off his breeches, the action making his ribs tug viciously, but he didn’t care. He wanted this as much as she did.
Alice’s eyes followed the movement of his hands, her breath catching when she took in his erection. Jamie straightened and kept his eyes on her as she had him.
“Jamie, I worry about your pain. You have suffered terribly already. Surely you—”
“I feel nothing when you are close.” It was a lie, but it would have taken five men to drag him from this room.
Her fingers moved beneath his, so he released them, and then inhaled as Alice traced the lines of his chest with whisper-soft strokes. When she leaned forward to press her lips to his heart, his control splintered.
“Alice.” His moan was deep and guttural.
“Lie down. You are pale,” she whispered. “I won’t allow you to hurt yourself more.”
“Parts of me hurt,” he muttered, but sat.
His hands then reached for her hips to pull her down to the bed with him.
Jamie rolled, placing her beneath him and then rose to brace himself above her.
He kissed her again, their bodies touching, and the contact was heaven and worth any pain he was suffering.
Her gentle sigh told him she felt it too.
The connection Jamie had felt with no other.
“More,” Alice whispered. She was innocent, and yet showed no fear of what would happen.
The world narrowed to the heat between them, and the soft slide of skin, the ragged catch of breath.
Every touch was a promise, and every kiss an offering.
He would be gentle, because his body and her innocence demanded that of him, but he could not stop now.
Jamie kissed down her neck to her breasts, licking long strokes over the curves until she was arching beneath him, her breath coming in pants. He then took the taut peak of her nipple into his mouth and sucked.
“Oh, my Lord,” Alice whispered.
Jamie continued to torment first one and then the other breast, driving her moans on until her fingers dug into his arms. Only then did he move a hand down her stomach.
“Open your legs, Alice.”
She did, and he ran his hands through the curls and lower. His first touch had her shuddering. He ran a finger over the damp folds. Back and forth, until the tension climbed inside her, only then did he ease a finger into her wet heat.
“Jamie.” His name came out in a rush.
He slid another finger inside, stretching the delicate muscles, never once stopping his ministrations to her breasts. Alice gasped out a breath then and experienced her first orgasm.
Lifting his head, he watched her eyes close and her mouth fall open as she rode the wave of pleasure. It was a sight he wanted to see again, and the thought that he may not, and another may, infuriated him. But that was a thought for another day. Right now, he wanted this woman to be his.
“Be sure, Alice,” he whispered as her eyes opened, their depths dazed with passion.
“I’m sure.”
Jamie lowered himself between her legs.
“I can stop if—”
“Jamie, I want this,” Alice said.
Christ, he was the one who felt like it was his first time. Jamie had never slept with an innocent before, but Alice was that.
He eased inside her. Gritting his teeth, and with every muscle clenched in his body, he slowly inched forward, the tight muscles yielding as he breached her sheath. Watching, waiting for her to wince, to cry out, but it never came. Instead, her arms slid to his shoulders, holding him close.
Jamie moved slowly, as her silken muscles stretched to accommodate him, and then he breached her innocence and was sheathed deep inside. He stopped and looked down at her.
“Alice?” His voice was a dry rasp. It took every ounce of his control not to pull out and thrust back into her. “Are you all right?”
She nodded, her eyes steady on his. “It eases.”
Thank God. Jamie pulled out, watching her for a reaction, and then thrust back into Alice’s body. She arched up and into him, so he did it again and again. The only sound in the room was the harsh rasp of their breathing. The world outside the four walls vanished. There was only the two of them.
He felt her tension climb, and knew his climax was also close.
“Again, Alice,” he ordered. She cried out his name as she shuddered beneath him once more.
Jamie thrust twice and then followed her as wave after wave of pleasure shot through him.
He then slumped down beside her on the bed.
For a long while, neither of them moved, the only sound the rasp of their breathing.
“Are you all right?” he murmured at last, his voice low and rough.
She nodded, lifting her head just enough for him to see her eyes. They were soft and sated. “I didn’t think it would feel like that,” she whispered. “Thank you, Jamie, for showing me how it could be. I will treasure the memory always.”
Jamie felt a spike of irrational anger at her words. “I don’t want your thanks.”
“Why are you angry?” She moved, climbing off the bed to look down at him. “Are you in a lot of pain? I could rouse Maggie.”
“No, and I’m not angry, just tired,” Jamie lied. In fact, he was bloody terrified suddenly at the emotion swirling around inside him. Emotion she clearly did not feel if she was thanking him.
Had he been wrong to believe she’d felt more? You’re irrational if you want that from her, when you can promise her nothing but what you’ve just shared.
“I understand,” Alice said with a calm he was far from feeling. “You should rest. I’m sure that…” Her eyes moved from him to the bed, and she waved a hand about. Jamie saw her nerves for the first time then, and fickle bastard he was, it made him feel better.
He raised a brow. “That?”
“What we just did is not helping your injuries.” The words came out fast.
“I wanted to do what we just did, and I have been in a worse condition than I currently am, Alice.”
She’d been pulling on her nightdress, covering all that lovely flesh he’d just run his hands and mouth over, but stopped.
Her eyes went to him again, and she looked sad at his words, but only said, “Sleep now.” He then watched her continue dressing.
When she’d wrapped the shawl around her shoulders, she hesitated.
Jamie knew he should say something—anything to tell her what they’d just shared meant to him. Fear kept him silent.
“Good night,” Alice then whispered, and he watched her walk across the room and open the door. After a last look at him, she walked out, closing it softly behind her.
Jamie lay there in the silence as the sun began to filter silver light across London, wondering what he should do now.
He’d chosen a life of solitude, with the prospect of one day marrying to have an heir, but little else.
He wasn’t a complete bastard and knew that he had to offer his future wife comfort and politeness, but he’d never thought there would be more.
Never wanted more, and then Alice had stepped into his life.
“Damn you,” Jamie whispered. She muddled with the order he craved. Alice had turned his life on its head, and he didn’t know how to change that. Perhaps distance would mean he’d forget her.
Her father wanted her married and out of his house, but Alice told him she had other plans. What plans? Was she about to take more risks and hurtle herself into danger? What of her aunt? Surely if she was under Alice’s care, then danger would not be involved.
The two men in her life who should have loved her had failed Alice.
Her brother, for one, and yet he could not blame the man for sliding into madness.
He’d been close a time or two after what he’d endured in Blackwood Hall.
But to hurt her was unacceptable, and Jamie had no doubt after what Alice had told him that Charles had done that.
Her father had failed her terribly, as well, and when he saw the man, he’d make sure to tell him exactly what he thought of him.
She was a brave woman, and he knew that hadn’t always been easy. But Alice had persevered and survived. Jamie had no doubt she’d kept Lord Smythe’s business and estates running, and running well.
He lay there for a while, letting thoughts tumble over and over inside his head, and finding no way to clear them.
Finally, he felt the need to move and put some distance between him and Alice.
It was for the best, anyway. If anyone saw him leaving here in daylight hours, it would cause trouble for her.
He rose from the bed, feeling every ache and pain in his body. Searching the room, he found a shirt and his jacket on a chair. His boots were harder to get on, but Jamie managed with a lot of grunting.
Walking through the silent house, wincing as he took the stairs down, Jamie thought about the woman he was walking away from.
A woman who had done something no one before her ever had.
She’d made him feel, and Jamie feared that feeling was something a great deal stronger than he’d ever be brave enough to acknowledge, because no good could come of that, for either of them.
He stepped outside the front door as the rain started and began walking, head still full of a woman he could never have. No one should be married to a man with the demons he had in his head.
London was waking, and the sky was gray and dark as the rain increased in intensity. Jamie huddled in his coat and increased his pace. His body hurt too much to run. He’d be having a bath when he reached his townhouse.
He was turning onto his street when he felt a shiver of unease run down his spine.
Turning, he was too late to stop the hand from covering his mouth.
He inhaled instinctively and a vile smell filled his nostrils.
He tried to fight, but soon his limbs began to feel heavy, and he felt himself slide toward darkness.
His last rational thought was for Alice and the fact that he would never see her again.