Chapter 15
Isaac
Todd grins at me as I grind coffee beans, taking a little longer than necessary just to avoid his all-too-knowing gaze.
Finally, I have to admit the coffee is as ground as it’s going to get. I empty it into the filter before closing up the machine and punching the on button.
Todd is still grinning.
“What?” I moan.
“It’s two in the afternoon,” he says chipperly.
“And?”
“And you’re making coffee. Which is the very first thing you do when you wake up.” He tilts his head, considering. “Unless you’re going to the library. Because you like their coffee better.”
“Your point?” I ask, ambling to the cupboard for mugs.
“My point is you never wake up this late unless…” Todd trails off as I set two mugs onto the counter. He points a finger at them accusatorily. “Unless you get laid! Was it Library Guy? Is he still here?”
“His name is Trevor,” I mutter, trying to hide the fact that my cheeks are surely on fire.
“I’m texting Lumi,” Todd declares, scampering away to a safe distance as he pulls out his phone.
I toss my hands in the air. “Of course you are. Why not tell her that yes, in fact, it was even more impressive in person while you’re at it? Because it’s not like we have any boundaries whatsoever.”
Todd nods, apparently missing my sarcasm.
I groan, just as Library Guy—Trevor walks into the room. And then I groan again. Because really?
His hair is wet from his shower, his clothing a little rumpled after over a day of use.
But the guy looks like a literal dream. And it’s real damn hard to reconcile the fact that this man heading my way with a tender smile on his face and tattooed arms the size of tree trunks—the very same man who fucked me so good last night that I did, in fact, forget the proper use for my legs—is my boyfriend.
That man is my boyfriend.
I let out a near-giddy laugh that has Trevor’s dark eyebrow rising.
Todd waves at Trevor without looking up from his phone. “Afternoon.”
“Is it?” Trevor rumbles, bussing a kiss against my temple that has my heart fluttering embarrassingly.
“Coffee’s brewing,” I state, waving to the two mugs.
Trevor doesn’t call me out for my barely human greeting. He simply hums. “Hungry? I could cook us some eggs if you have them.”
Todd nearly drops his phone, clear awe in his voice as he stares at Trevor. “You can cook?”
I flash my teeth at my friend. “He’s mine.”
Todd’s wide eyes swing over to me. “I only want his eggs,” he whispers.
Trevor chuckles, giving my chin a pinch, as if he thinks my growling is cute. “Not in a sharing mood this morning, are we?”
My entire body flashes hot, and I have to clear my throat a couple times. “I think we have some eggs.”
Trevor heads over to the fridge as Todd watches him curiously.
“What?” I mouth.
Todd opens his arms wide in a gesture I take to mean big. Trevor is big. Got it. Then he holds his forefinger and thumb an inch apart and points to me.
I scowl before hissing, “I’m not small.”
I glance Trevor’s way. He’s checking the egg carton.
Todd nods placatingly before shrugging a little and mushing his hands together. He shrugs again.
I sigh. “We fit fine,” I manage through gritted teeth.
Trevor closes the fridge door, egg carton in hard. I hold my smile in place, which I realize far too late is more like a grimace.
Todd, never having mastered the art of subtlety, asks at full volume, “How elastic, exactly, is an asshole?”
I stare at him for a solid five seconds. “You’re a bio major!”
“I don’t know, bae! They don’t teach that in any of my classes.”
“Oh my God.”
Trevor cuts in, voice calm. “Most people’s asses can be stretched to accommodate a fist at the very least.”
As my boyfriend holds up his rather large closed fist in demonstration, Todd visibly shudders. “Hard pass.” His gaze turns thoughtful as it shifts to me. “Dang. I didn’t know you had it in you.”
“I have not had a fist in me,” I defend, not sure why I’m even bothering. “Can we please stop talking about assholes before I’ve had my morning coffee?”
“It’s afternoon,” Todd says again. “So are we thinking scrambled eggs or…?”
As Trevor discusses egg preparation options with my housemate-slash-former-friend, I check my phone, which has been steadily buzzing in my pocket.
Todd: Library Guy stayed the night!
Lumi: Details, sweet baby Todd.
Todd: Isaac said it was even more impressive in person.
Todd: And now he’s glaring at me.
Todd: Oh, here. Look.
Next is a hastily snapped picture of Trevor.
Lumi: My, oh my.
Lumi: And how is our Isaac faring?
Aaand there’s a picture of me. Blushing furiously.
Lumi: I call best man.
Todd: Hey! No fair.
Lumi: You can have flower girl.
Lumi: Have I lost you?
Lumi: Men.
Lumi: For the record, babe, you’re allowed two best men at your wedding, but I WILL be one of them.
I answer with a resigned sigh.
Me: I hate everything.
Trevor and I walk along one of the prettier routes through campus as the afternoon wears on into evening. I’m a little surprised he hasn’t gone home yet, but I’m not complaining.
It’s been nice, having a day away from studying and obligation.
The present company sure doesn’t hurt, either.
“Does your uncle know about the porn?” I ask, having been wondering about that.
Trevor’s lips twitch. The area we’re at is fairly secluded at the moment, but we’ve had to pause the conversation at times when someone walks by. “No. I don’t think he would judge me for it, but… I wasn’t sure how to bring it up. I figured, once it gets serious, I’ll have a conversation with him.”
That has me eyeing his profile. “Is that what you’re planning to do? Your…business idea?”
He glances at me, stepping around a wide crack in the sidewalk. “If I said yes? That I’ve already looked into the legalities and requirements for going professional?”
“Holy crap. Really? Tell me.”
Trevor chuckles, his expression warm as he regards me. “It doesn’t bother you?”
“You don’t…actually need my permission for something like that,” I say slowly. “It’s your life, Trevor.”
“But I care about your opinion. It affects you, which affects me.”
Jesus. “I think it’s pretty brilliant,” I admit.
It’s Trevor’s turn to look surprised. “Really?”
“Yeah, I mean… The videos I’ve seen? They’re good. You have the sort of dick that belongs in people’s fantasies. You realize you’re in, like, the top half percent with that thing, right? Ten inches isn’t normal.”
He lets out a gentle laugh.
“I think if anyone could make a living out of…inspirational video storytelling, it’d be you.”
“Inspirational video storytelling?” Trevor asks, amusement in his tone. “Is that what we’re calling it?”
“I sure find it inspiring.”
Trevor’s smile has my chest feeling warm.
“Why don’t you show your face?” I ask. “Or have you?”
I haven’t seen all his videos, although I plan to rectify that. But from what I have seen, the camera is always focused on one particular thing. Trevor’s cock.
He hums. “I guess it started as a somewhat anonymous thing. And I never bothered to change that.”
I remember Trevor telling me once that people find him intimidating. Has that factored into his decision?
“I think you should show all of yourself, Trevor. If that’s something you’re comfortable with. You’re…beautiful.”
I can feel the weight of Trevor’s gaze on the side of my head.
“I’d make a website first,” he says, and I realize he’s explaining his plan.
“Put my existing videos up behind a subscription paywall. Make new ones with better-quality equipment. Hire other performers and create a brand. People can find porn on the internet for free, but they still pay me for something more…personal. That would be my goal. Appealing to real-life fantasy.”
I nod, a million different thoughts flitting through my head too fast for me to even categorize. “Elite cocks for the everyday.”
Trevor rumbles a laugh. “I think I just found my marketing director.”
“Please,” I huff. “I’ll stick to consumerism. So a website first, and then?”
“Then,” Trevor says slowly, “a studio. If I succeed.”
“You will,” I say confidently. If there’s one thing that drives success it’s determination. And Trevor has that in spades. “What roadblocks do you face?”
“Money,” he says simply. “It’s my biggest hurdle. It’ll take time to have enough capital to invest into a studio space.”
“Until then?”
“I make videos the same way I have been.”
“So…getting cozy with ferns,” I supply.
“No more ferns,” Trevor says so deadpan I crack a laugh. He shoots me a smile. “Socks, though, are all right.”
I clear my throat, the memory of Trevor fucking a sock still vivid in my mind. It had no right whatsoever being as hot as it was.
“When will you start?” I ask him. “The website and all that.”
Trevor makes a soft sound. “After I graduate.”
“Are you worried about what the school would do if someone found out?”
“Partly. Technically, I’m not breaking any rules. I’m not using school property or resources. There’s no nonconsensual distribution. No public displays of indecency. But that doesn’t mean they wouldn’t find a way to kick me out regardless. Claim I’m affecting their reputation or something.”
“And you want your degree.”
“I do,” he says with an undercurrent of feeling. “I’ve worked hard for it. I might not need it in the long run. I have the knowledge and tools I require already. But I’m not the only one responsible for getting me here. I want it for myself as much as I want it for others.”
“Your uncle,” I say gently.
He nods, his hands in his pockets as we take a bend in the sidewalk. A bicyclist zooms past us, and Trevor tugs me closer to him without a second thought.
At least the nip in the air can be blamed for the flush on my cheeks.
“What’s your goal long term?” I ask.
Trevor keeps his eyes ahead as he thinks that over, although I have a feeling he already knows. He doesn’t strike me as the type of person to jump into things rashly. He’s thought this through, possibly for years now. I have no doubt he has a plan for every decade down the road.
“I want…simplicity,” he finally says. “I don’t need to strike it big, but stability? Not having to struggle to make ends meet? That’s what I want. So I can enjoy the day-to-day the way it’s meant to be lived.”
My chest aches at the absolute perfection of the image he painted. I see a modest house. Quiet hours at home after the workday is done. Waking up and enjoying a peaceful few minutes with the sun and the people…or person…I love. A library, maybe, tucked into the corner of the home.
I have to dispel the picture before it can become too whole. Before I want it so badly it hurts.
“I like your idea of success,” I tell him. “That’s what I want, too. To be…happy.”
“I know,” Trevor says softly. At my raised eyebrow, he shrugs his massive shoulders. “You’re an English major, remember?”
I huff a laugh. “Well maybe my porn star boyfriend will keep me rolling in riches, ever think of that?”
Trevor smiles his secretive smile. The one that pulls up only the edges of his lips.
I smack his chest. “Stop being so smug right now. All I did was call you my boyfriend.”
“Mhm,” Trevor hums, catching my hand and tucking it in his own. “And it sounded really nice.”
I glance around as we walk hand in hand. Trevor doesn’t seem perturbed in the slightest. “You’re not worried about PDA?” I ask quietly.
Trevor raises an eyebrow impressively high as he looks over at me. “This coming from the guy who was humping my leg inside a bar just last night?”
“Oh my God,” I groan, hiding my face with my free hand until I’m fairly sure my cheeks have stopped flaming.
“Number one, that’s entirely different. Bars and clubs aren’t…
this.” I wave my hand around us for emphasis.
“Totally different sets of rules. Number two, I guess I just wasn’t sure how… open you wanted to be.”
“We’re both out,” Trevor says evenly. “And I don’t plan to hide you away like some secret I’m ashamed of. Unless you’re uncomfortable with this?”
“No,” I say quickly, my hand tightening around his.
By the twitch of his lips, he noticed. “Then, no. I’m not worried. I highly doubt anyone would be brave enough to give us trouble.”
“Yeah,” I say in agreement, sliding my free hand up and down his arm. “They’d be a fool to try.”
There go his lips again. “I was talking about you, Red. You’re a feisty little thing when you want to be.”
I snort a laugh, knowing damn well I’m not the one in this relationship likely to scare someone off. Although the thought makes me frown. “You don’t scare me, Trevor.”
His expression sobers into something considering and…possibly affectionate. He seems to have followed my train of thought easily enough because he says, “I know, better-than-average Red. You made that more than clear the first time we met.”
“Well, good,” I mumble. I can’t even find it in me to grouse at him for using that horrible nickname I’ll never live down.
I simply tighten my grip on his hand, glad Trevor knows I see the person he is inside.
And more scared than ever of losing it.